5 months later
"seriously, why do her bangs look so fucked up?"
"y/n. watch the damn movie, so help me god."
"why're we watching this anyway. this is doing the opposite of turning me on." y/n cackled, her lips clasped over the edge of her wine glass.
alexa scrunched her nose, smacking y/n's bare stomach. "you need to learn to appreciate cinematography, babe." y/n puckered her lips. "uh, this is fifty shades of grey. not sure it gets any worse than this."
this earned her another smack as alexa giggled. "it's like, hot." she shrugged, sighing when y/n pulled her further into her. "how do people find this hot! i am severely uncomfortable! like, why did they have to cgi her fucking pubic hairs in?"
alexa cackled along with y/n, trying her hardest to keep her eyes on the screen. "well i dunno! just watch the movie, please." she whispered, leaving a kiss against y/n's ear.
y/n groaned, leaning her head against alexa's. "fine, only for you."
——
it was too dark in ariana's house. too quiet.
she wrapped herself further into her blanket, toulouse quickly cuddling back up to her. ariana hummed, bringing a hand down to pat his head. "at least i still have you, buddy."
after y/n left that day, ariana broke down. she cried for hours and hours, the only thing stopping her was the morning sun rising. for the next few months she barely left her house, and the only instagram post she made was to announce her and y/n's new song.
speaking of which, everyone went fucking crazy. twitter was having a field day, and all of the news sites were rumbling about how they were suddenly back together. neither of them said anything about it.
about a month in, ariana had fallen into an even deeper depression. lucas had tried to help her as much as he could, but one day ariana had had enough and blew up on him.
so that didn't work out too well.
ariana had basically ignored everyone in her life for months, only speaking to her family if absolutely necessary. if it wasn't, she was lazily slumped around her house, wrapped in a blanket.
ariana sighed, reaching out with her other hand to find her phone. she opened instagram and began to scroll down her feed, a picture of y/n and her new kitten catching her eye.
she chewed on her lip, clicking on y/n's profile and scrolling through her page. ariana was on her page so often, that one time she was too into her scrolling and accidentally liked one of her posts from months ago. she just prayed she didn't notice.
there were more pictures of her and alexa, of her friends, the new cat. on february fifth, she posted a simple picture of the sunset with no caption and the comments turned off.
people on twitter were curious of what it meant, but no one knew what, or who, it was for. except ariana.
every single thought that went through her mind, y/n managed to sneak her way into the cracks. if ariana was making herself dinner, she remembered when y/n would cook for her. saw a spoon, she remembered y/n literally just eating a bowl of cereal in bed.
she groaned, shutting her phone and slamming her face into the pillow. she couldn't help it when a scream left her lips, making toulouse jump and run out of bed.
she flipped around in bed with a huff. "forget about her, bitch. she doesn't want you anymore. she's happy. move on." she whispered, shutting her eyes and nodding to herself.
ariana let out a soft sigh that soon turned into another scream as y/n's stupid, smiling, pretty and handsome face popped right back into her brain.
"oh my god, bitch! you need to go out and get some dick." she yelled, searching the bed for her phone again. clicking it back on, she found her groupchat with victoria and courtney, immediately facetiming them.
thankfully, they both answered within seconds.
"oh shit, you're alive! hey bitch!" courtney screamed, a big smile on her lips. ariana let out a small giggle, pushing her greasy hair back. "uh, yeah...sorry?"
"it's okay girl! we all have our months. just remember, we're here whenever you wanna talk about what's goin' on. so what's up?" victoria asked, resting her chin on her fist.
ariana nodded, licking her lips. "i need to go out and get severely drunk until i can't speak anymore. wanna come?"
——
y/n groaned, rolling over onto her stomach as the movie finally ended. "that was the worst thing ever. why did we watch that?" she grumbled.
alexa giggled, laying on y/n's back as she traced the flower on her spine with her nail. "i love making you uncomfortable. you make cute faces."
a smile tugged at y/n's lips, reaching back with one hand to grab alexa's free one. "you think i'm cute?" she chuckled, her cheeks hot as goosebumps ran down her back at alexa's touch.
"obviously. i wouldn't be having sex with you if i didn't, dumbass." she lightly smacked her skin before pressing a kiss to the back of her neck. she hummed, glancing at y/n's face. "what're you thinking about, hm?"
y/n scrunched up her nose, her lips forming a pout. "what do you think?" alexa frowned, nodding softly as she pulled herself up, straddling y/n's hips as she gently massaged her back.
"do you wanna talk about it again? my ears are open." she offered, smiling as y/n let out a soft groan. she nodded, licking her lips.
"i just...i regret what i told her. i miss her a lot. i literally can't go one day without thinking about her, and it sucks," she sighed again, turning her head to shove it in the couch cushion.
"yeah, i know babe. i feel the same way about tristen," alexa paused, her mind flashing back to the guy part of her still loved. "have you tried talking to her again? maybe asking to get coffee or anything else?"
y/n turned her head again, shaking it. "no. i want to, more than anything, but i'm just nervous. how about you though? have you spoken to him at all?"
alexa shook her head too. "not much. when i was still working at the office, we'd say hi to each other or give a wave, but never a full conversation. i do miss him, but i know we'd never work out if we tried again. so, i'm trying to move on from him."
she leaned down, brushing y/n's hair away from her ear. "buuuttt, i know it's not the same for you and ari. you should call her, y/n/n!" she pecked her ear repeatedly, making the girl laugh.
"i should? really? do you think she'd answer?" y/n spewed our questions, having no trouble as she flipped around with alexa straddling her.
alexa chuckled, shaking her head. "i know she will." she threw her head back, laughing more as she thought back to last month. "oh lord, listen to this. do you remember when i was using your phone that day when mine died?" y/n nodded, wondering where the hell this story was going.
"well, i was on instagram, and you got a notification saying that she liked a photo from so long ago. she's stalking you babe, she misses you."
y/n blew out a breath, her lips pouting. "i miss her too. but we're making a deal!" she exclaimed, pointing her finger at alexa. "if i call her, you have to go on a date with someone. i want you to be happy too, lexa. after everything you've done for me, you deserve it more than anything."
alexa blushed, wrapping her arms around y/n's neck as she sat up, pulling her into a hug. "thank you, cas. i will, i promise. i'll sign up for tinder or some shit the day you call her, because i don't trust you enough not to pussy out."
"that's mean. i am not a pussy." y/n replied. "girl, you cry when you stub your toe. you've done it over fifty times in the last few months, pussy." alexa smacked the top of her head before pulling away.
y/n's mouth dropped, but her phone began ringing loudly on the coffee table before she could reply. both of their heads snapped over to the phone, wondering why someone would be calling her so late.
y/n hummed as alexa swung herself off of her, plopping down at the other end of the couch. y/n picked up her phone but nearly dropped it when she saw the contact.
"what the fuck! oh my god, what the fuck!" she shouted, her hand finding her hair.
alexa went wide-eyed, sitting up on her knees. "woah, what's wrong? why the fuck are you freaking out?"
y/n sputtered, her hands flying everywhere. "it's—it's her! what the fuck do i do? why is she calling me at one a.m?"
alexa squealed excitedly, clapping her hands together. "it's late, and she's thinking about you! that's a sign, bitch! answer the phone, and i'll pretended like i'm not here. i'll give you some silent pointers if you need them. answer before the line goes dead!"
y/n covered her mouth with her hand, answering the call with a shaky thumb. she held the phone to her ear, not wanting to put it on speaker so she could respect her privacy. "uh, hello—"
"y/n! you answered! oh ma gawd, i thought you were gon-na leave me hangin!" ariana slurred, hiccuping every few words. there was music blasting through the speaker, making y/n wince.
"ariana, are you drunk? and at a club? are you safe, is anyone there with you?" y/n spat question after question, worried for a seriously drunk ariana getting into trouble. alexa frowned, raising an eyebrow that had y/n shrugging.
"i-i missss youu! i miss huggin' you and kissin' you. y/n/n, i miss you!" ariana sobbed, a loud whine escaping her lips. "o-okay, baby i miss you too, alright? but you gotta answer, are you safe? do i need to pick you up?"
suddenly, someone else's voice broke through the phone. "goddamn, ari who the fuck you talking to?" it was a girl, yelling as she snatched the phone out of ariana's hand. y/n quickly recognized her as victoria.
"victoria? hey, you're with her? thank god." y/n sighed, rubbing her forehead with her free hand. "oh hey y/n! ariana won't shut the fuck up about you. and she's definitely too far gone tonight, it's time for her to go home. but court and i wanna stay a bit longer. do you think you can come pick her up? i only trust her with you, honestly."
y/n chewed on her bottom lip, running her hand through her hair. "oh—uh, fuck. y-yeah, sure. where are you guys?"
"uhhhh, that new club on tyson? you know what i'm taking about? i don't know the name, ari dragged us here." victoria answered, yelling over the music.
y/n nodded, recognizing the street name. "yeah, yeah. i know. i'll be there in about twenty, okay? can y'all stay with her, though?"
"obviously! oh shit—ariana get your ass down from—" victoria was cut off by the call ending. y/n raised her eyebrows, pulling her phone away from her ear as she looked back at alexa.
"what the hell happened?" the red head questioned, standing from the couch. y/n puffed her cheeks, shaking her head. "hell, i don't even know. all i do know, is that ari is drunk out of her mind and i need to take her home."
alexa smiled and nodded. "okay. i'm gonna head home then, leave you to it. use this as an opportunity to ask to meet up sometime. don't pussy out." she joked again, wrapping her arms around y/n in a gentle hug.
y/n chuckled as alexa pulled away, patting her cheek and gathering her things as she walked to the door. y/n pocketed her phone into her sweats, heading upstairs to grab a shirt.
she pulled it on quickly and grabbed her keys from her bedside, slipping on her slides before jogging back downstairs. alexa's car was already gone by the time she sat in the drivers seat of hers, turning the keys in the ignition.
the drive was quite short, considering la traffic, and y/n got there in only twenty five minutes.
y/n checked around for anybody with cameras as she exited her car, not wanting ariana to be bashed for being drunk. sighing, she shoved her hands into her pockets as she approached the club, the booming music already filling her ears.
five minutes before she arrived, she texted ariana's phone to let vic know she was almost there. so as soon as she approached the door, vic and court were carrying ariana out with her arms slung over their shoulders.
ariana was clearly fighting them, struggling in their hold. "sto—op! i don't wanna g-go home! you guys are such bitc—" again, ariana cut herself off with a loud gasp. "y/n/n! you're here!"
y/n smiled awkwardly, walking towards the three as ariana threw herself at her. she grunted in surprise as the smaller woman slammed into her chest, her arms wrapping around her torso.
courtney laughed as she reached out, handing y/n ariana's purse that contained her phone. y/n took it with a sigh, sending them a nod as ariana cuddled further into her chest. the two girls gave her a silent thumbs up before retreating back to the club.
y/n looked down at ariana, reaching up to cup the back of her head. she sighed, leaning down to kiss the crown of her head. "it's time to go home, alright? can i take you home?"
ariana clutched onto y/n's shirt, looking up at her with a pout. "but i don't wanna go home. i wanna go with you. please?" her doe eyes filled with a look of pleadings.
y/n licked her lips, glancing away. "alright. but you're going straight to bed, okay?" she raised an eyebrow. ariana cheesed, nodding her head excitedly as she stood on her toes, pressing a kiss to y/n's jaw.
she felt her cheeks heat up as she gently pulled away from ariana, laying a hand on the small of her back. ariana was giddy, holding onto y/n's arm the small way back to her car.
it was a bit of a struggle to get ariana in the car, and the fact that ariana wouldn't stop giggling and couldn't keep her hands off of y/n as she buckled her seatbelt for her wasn't making y/n's awkwardness any better.
sighing, y/n gently shut the door as she jogged back over to her side, quickly starting the drive back to her place.
less than five minutes in, ariana reached over and grabbed y/n's hand from the middle console, lazily lacing their fingers together. she hummed, flipping their hands around as she examined y/n's ring.
"you have hot hands," she laughed, using her other hand to trace the veins. y/n squinted as she turned the corner, glancing at the girl. "uh, thanks?"
ariana sighed dreamily, fiddling with y/n's fingers. "i miss holding them. and i miss when you let me paint your nails. i also miss them...other places." ariana giggled, biting her lip like a child who was just caught stealing candy.
y/n cleared her throat, her free hand squeezing the steering wheel. "okay, ari. slow down a bit, ight?"
ariana grumbled, dropping y/n's hand as she turned to the window with a pout. "you're mean." she pouted harder, crossing her arms across her stomach. y/n looked over at her with a small smile, shaking her head.
but a few moments later, ariana was giggling as she pulled out her phone from her purse, swiping over to her camera. she grabbed y/n's face with her other hand, her jaw held tightly in her fingers.
y/n hummed, gently turning her head to ariana but still keeping her eyes on the road. "whatcha doin' there? hm?" ariana giggled, her thumb reaching up to play with y/n's bottom lip.
"you're so pretty, y/n/n. smile!" she cheered, her flash on as she snapped a picture of y/n. the latter squinted at the light, trying her hardest to focus on the road with ariana nagging at her.
ariana pulled her phone away and dropped y/n's jaw, checking out the picture. y/n was smiling, as ariana told her to, her eyes slightly squinted from the bright flash. the lights from outside were streaked in the window due to the moving car, a small red and blue hue casted against y/n's face from neon lights on restaurants.
ariana smiled, licking her lips. "you look so sexy. i'm postin' this, lol." y/n furrowed her eyebrows as ariana continued to drunk giggle. "did you just say 'lol' out loud? jesus, you really are drunk." she shook her head, sighing loudly.
she glanced to ariana's phone screen, noticing that she actually was trying to post the photo of her. "hey, hey. you think that's a good idea? sober you wouldn't be happy." she raised an eyebrow, making ariana pout. she held out her hand, "give me the phone, ari."
ariana whined, clicking the power button to make her screen go dark as she handed it to y/n. "sure, daddy."
y/n widened her eyes in surprise, nearly dropping ariana's phone between the seats. she cleared her throat, pocketing the phone. "okay, no more talking until we get home."
"home" was only five more minutes away, and ariana kept the promise. she still mumbled to herself and made random, drunk noises, but she didn't talk.
y/n sighed as she parked her car in the driveway, shutting off her car as she stepped out. the sound of the car door shutting scared ariana, making her jump. she looked out the windshield, tears filling her eyes as she saw y/n outside.
y/n shook her head as she walked to ariana's side, opening the door for her. "girl—why the hell are you crying?" she asked. ariana sobbed, unbuckling her seatbelt as she threw herself out of the car, latching onto y/n again.
"t-thought you left me again." she whispered, nuzzling into her t-shirt. y/n looked down and sighed, wrapping her arm around ariana's waist. "i'm right here, ari. i promise. now let's go inside, okay?"
ariana nodded and sniffed, pulling back but reaching her arms up. y/n shook her head again with a small smile, reaching down to scoop ariana into her arms. the girl giggled joyously, digging her head into y/n's neck as she carried her into her house.
y/n unlocked the door with little struggle, pushing the door closed. she walked upstairs and into the guest room, laying ariana down on the bed.
ariana slumped against the pillows as y/n gently took off her high heels, laying them next to the bed. ariana scrunched her nose as she sat up, grabbing the bottom of her tight dress and pulling it up over her head.
"oh!" y/n exclaimed in shock, squeezing her eyes shut as she turned around. ariana giggled, throwing her dress to the ground. she was still covered, and it wasn't like y/n hadn't seen her fully unclothed before.
"oh, don't be such a sissy. you've seen me naked a thousand times, it's not a big deal. turn around." ariana laughed, sitting against the headboard. she had seemed slightly less drunk and out of it, more aware of what she was saying. y/n sighed, slowly turning around as she opened her eyes.
"well—you know, that was...different." she spoke quietly, stepping forward to pull back the blankets on the bed. ariana gladly slid between the blanket and the sheets, pulling the soft cover up to her shoulders.
ariana hummed, closing her eyes as she felt the sleep take over her. y/n watched with a heavy heart before realizing that she needed to go, that she shouldn't be watching her ex-girlfriend sleeping in her guest room.
"alright. goodnight, ari." she whispered, patting the blanket where ariana's leg was. y/n looked back as she made her way out of the room, leaving the door open a crack as she walked back to her own room.
her hand was on the doorknob as she heard her name being called out, loudly but weakly at the same time. she puffed out her cheeks before walking back go the guest room, gently opening the door again.
ariana was awake, propped up on one shoulder as she looked at y/n. "yeah? what's the matter?" y/n asked, leaning against the doorframe. ariana sat up, wrapping her arms around herself.
"w-will you stay with me? it's—it's dark in here and i'm kinda scared. and i'm just—i'm tired of sleeping by myself. please?" she whispered, her hands rubbing up and down her arms.
y/n frowned, licking her lips as she looked down to her feet. "are—are you sure?" she asked gently.
it had been almost five years since they had slept together in the same bed, and the last time they did, it didn't end well. y/n just didn't want something bad to happen like it did last time.
ariana nodded softly, sending y/n a small smile. y/n returned it with a sigh as she closed the door fully, slowly walking over to the opposite side of the bed. she pulled out hers and ariana's phones from either pockets, laying them on the bedside table.
quite awkwardly, she pulled herself into bed and covered herself with the blanket as she laid down. ariana followed her, keeping a good two feet between them. they were both practically falling off the sides, not wanting to make the other uncomfortable.
y/n sighed again and closed her eyes, trying to let sleep take over.
a few minutes passed, and ariana laid there with her eyes wide open as she stared at the ceiling. she couldn't sleep, not like this. not with y/n right next to her but yet so far away.
she blew a soft breath from her nose, "y/n?"
the other woman hummed tiredly, her nose twitching. ariana smiled, recognizing this as one of the signs that y/n was seconds away from falling asleep.
"will you, um, will you hold me? please?" she asked again, her cheeks burning hot. y/n's eyes snapped open at the question, her body tensing as she saw ariana already watching her.
"oh, uh, s-sure. yeah, sure." she nodded, scooting closer so she was in the middle of the bed, on her back. "uh, c'mere." she opened her arm for ariana.
ariana smiled and accepted the offer, sliding in under y/n's arm and laying her head on her chest. her arm wrapped around y/n's waist as her leg subconsciously raised, intertwining with y/n's. y/n wrapped an arm around ariana's shoulders, pulling her close, the other resting on her waist.
"is this alright?" she whispered against ariana's head. ariana nodded in response. "it's perfect, y/n/n. it's perfect." it was quiet for another moment.
ariana blindly raised her hand, her fingers tracing y/n's jaw. "y/n?" she tiredly called out her name once more, genuinely not expecting her to answer. but, she did.
"yeah?"
ariana sighed, closing her eyes again as she pulled herself closer to y/n. "i miss you." y/n swallowed thickly at the admission, her heartstrings being pulled. she leaned down, kissing the top of ariana's head.
"i miss you too."
——
no reason for this to be 4.0k words long 😭
my phone decided to stop working last night, but my mother is my savior so she got me a new phone 🙏🫶
i hope you liked it lol, but if not.....🔫
i love yooouuuu <33333!!!!