Naomi stopped outside the door, just to catch her breath. She wouldn't be able to breathe well once the news came out.
In the heat of the moment, it had seemed like a good idea. If she forewent her resignation and remained at the store, it had seemed like everything would be fine in the end. In hindsight, it had been a blind and stupid decision.
The decision, however, had been made. Naomi would stick to it. Because it had, for once in her life, been her own choice.
With that fragile determination resonating in her head, Naomi keyed in the door code and stepped over the threshold. As expected, her mother waited. Why wouldn't she? She had sent Naomi on a mission. She must need to confirm that it had been executed successfully.
Naomi shucked her shoes, straightened them, and slipped her feet into her house slippers.
"Well?" Ms. Rowe arched her brows, clearly expecting an answer forthwith.
Naomi slipped past her mother, into the more open living area. If she had to tell her that she had deviated from the plan, Naomi wanted to do it in an open area. Enclosed spaces during a conflict felt like walls closing in on her.
Ms. Rowe turned to follow her, as Naomi knew she would. "Naomi. Naomi!"
Naomi stopped mid-stride, her breath catching in her throat. For a brief moment, it felt as though she looked on from the outside. Then she came back.
"How did it go?" Ms. Rowe continued.
This was it. The last peaceful moment before Naomi brought the storm on herself. She knew it, and yet she had little choice but to face it. No more avoidance. Only hard, cold reality.
"I didn't resign."
"What?" Ms. Rowe chuckled, a manic sound that died before it had time to echo. "Say that again, because I clearly misheard you."
Naomi's shoulders stiffened, as tough as concrete blocks when she turned to face her mother. "You didn't mishear. I didn't resign."
Naomi enunciated each word with perfect clarity, a skill she had learned per her mother's insistence. If Ms. Rowe had known that such a skill would be used in this instance,Naomi doubted her mother would have allowed her to learn it.
Ms. Rowe's face went dark. Stoic. "What do you mean, you didn't resign? That's why you went."
Every fiber of Naomi's being wanted to backtrack. To apologize and announce that she would resign at the earliest convenience. But her decision had been made, spurred by the thought that The Plan needed a test. If it couldn't hold up to this, had it really been such a good plan in the first place?
It was a test for her mother, as well. Naomi realized too late that she had been hoping that Ms. Rowe would allow it. She had been hoping for her mother to understand. For some reason, Naomi had been hoping that her mother would be like those mothers she only dreamed about. The ones that supported their children unconditionally.
"I like working there," Naomi answered lamely.
It took all her strength and bravery to maintain eye contact. If she looked away, she would show weakness. Ifshe showed weakness, her mother would pounce. Naomi had to keep a front of courage, even if she had none left.
"That's your reasoning?" Ms. Rowe scoffed. "You didn't resign because you like it?"
"Yes. I enjoy working there."
"What about the plan?"
Naomi bit back her heavy sigh. Sighing would set off a whole new avenue of scoldings. "It can stand to be altered a little, sometimes."
"You can't just change your life plan because you like something. It will topple the whole system. Sometimes you have to give up things you like for things that will take care of you."
Sometimes? The word hit Naomi like a ton of bricks. It seemed like all she did nowadays was give up things she liked in pursuit of this Grand Plan. What did her mother know about the sacrifices Naomi was forced to make? Did she care, so long as the plan went as scheduled?
"This is unacceptable." Ms. Rowe lifted her chin in a higher-than-thou gesture that had become second nature in these situations. "What about the paperwork you signed at the company?"
"I haven't shown up for work yet. The worst you can do is fire me from the position." Naomi didn't know where the harsh words came from, but they spilled from her mouth like bees out of a hive.
"You really want to forfeit your allowance? All the privileges I give you?"
Allowance? Privileges? Naomi had never asked for any of them.
The words kept coming. "I don't need them. I'll use my salary from the shop. I earned it to spend it."
"Your salary from... from that place?" Ms. Rowe laughed again, her hands rising as if to rub her head. "You? Live on that?"
"Why not?" Naomi raised her own chin to mirror her mother's earlier movement. "I make good money there."
"Do you realize what I buy for you? All the things I help you with?" Ms. Rowe sucked in a deep breath. "I won't allow it. Go resign. Right now."
"You have my answer about this one." Naomi kept her voice even, though her emotions were anything but stable. "I'm staying at my current place of employment."
"Is this really what you're going to be stubborn about?"
Naomi nodded, just once to emphasize her point. "Yes. I won't leave this job."
Ms. Rowe nodded back at her, more furious than receptive. "Then you had best prepare yourself to pay back the favor you owe me. I'll think of something to reclaim it."
It was a scare tactic, Naomi knew. That's why she tried not to owe her mother any favors. Because once she cashed in, Naomi would have no choice but to answer with a yes ma'am. Inevitably, Naomi would trade one happiness for the price of another. That's how pettiness worked.
But, this time, Naomi was prepared for the cost. Or so she thought at the time.