(Felix is kinda gonna be an asshole in this chapter but just love him regardless)
Felix pov
"Want the aux cable?"
"Yeah sure"
Some of my favorite song started playing as I looked outside the window. I always found that sort of comforting, just looking out of a moving car and completely ignoring everything around me. Peace
We passed by houses and other building. Here and there I would see people I knows walking down the streets having a great time. Stuff like this made me smile
My eyes slightly widened as the next song started to play. The song that used to be my favorite, my safe space
Little Star
"Want me to change the song for you?" Chan asked looking over at me for a split second
Don't. There's no use. You're gonna see him now anyways
"Nah. There's no use"
The male didn't respond but simply just nodded. I looked back to my side, watching as we passed by beautiful houses with beautiful gardens
We sat in silence, only little star was heard. I started to tap my finger to the beat, finally loosening up
Its fine Lix. You can do this
After a few minutes of driving we finally reached Changbin's house, pulling up in his driveway
"Hey Lix!"
Nobody's pov
"Hey Lix!" Changbin yelled with a big smile on his face. He walked up to Felix as he got out of the car. He pulled Felix into his arms and gave him a big hug
"Alright Alright, can I get my bags please? Before you crush me?" Felix said before gasping for air
Felix walked over to the car's trunk, opening it and grasping his bags. As he struggled to hold the 2 heavy bags, he heard a car pulling up behind him
"Hyunjin! You're here!"
Felix froze
He knew that this would happen and he did prepare himself but it seems that the anxiety never vanished, it just hid itself for a good amount of time only to spark at the last minute
Chan and Angela hopped out of their cars and ran up to each other, throwing themselves into each other's arms
"Chan! I've missed you so muuuch!" Angela fake sobbed as the male jumped up, wrapping his legs around her waist
"EY! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE CARRYING ME, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!" She yelled as he tightened his hold on her
"Never~"
While the two bestfriends were happily in their own world, Felix stood frozen at the back of his brother's car
He was internally panicking, was it too soon? Was it the wrong decision to come on this trip? If he turned around right now, would he be met with the boy who hurt him?
"FELIIIIIIIX!" Felix was snapped out of his thoughts by a loud voice approaching him
He felt arms wrap around his neck and pull his head to the person's chest. He looked at the person's chest and recognized it
"Hey Sungie" he muttered, trying his best to free himself from his friend's grasp
"OH FELIX I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!" He yelled once again making Felix flinch. He finally let go of the boy and went straight to helping him with his bags
"So, how've you been?" Felix asked, trying to break the awkward silence between him and his bestie
"Yellow, have you spoken to Hyunjin yet?" The boy eagerly blurted out, totally ignored the question he was asked
"No, not ye-"
"Bro you can't be telling me that you haven't spoken to him yet! The car ride is gonna be hella awkward!"
"I know Ji but I... I guess I just haven't found the right time yet-"
"Well here it is" Jisung mumbled before backing away from Felix. He grabbed Hyunjin by the arm and swung him to Felix, making him stumbled and almost fall to the ground
Felix had no reaction, he looked calm and unfazed but inside he was panicking
<Fuck you Han Jisung> was what they both thought
The two boys walked in intense silence, suffocating even. Hyunjin sweat dropped, he felt guilty for putting Felix in this position. It made sick to his stomach knowing that Felix was uncomfortable
"Hey" Hyunjin muttered, finally breaking the silence. His voice cracked, showing just how nervous he was
"Hi" Felix replied, his eyes stayed glued on the floor. He wouldn't dare look at the male, he wouldn't risk breaking his heart once again
Hyunjin was growing impatient. He couldn't stand how intense and suffocating the silence was. The longer he waited, the more anxious he grew
"Felix...can we talk...please? I-I really can't take this, it's not- can we just talk?"
Felix finally looked up from the floor. He looked the boy right in the eyes, a tear falling from his eye
Hyunjin's heart shattered into a million pieces, he couldn't stand looking at the boy he loves the most cry because of him and his stupid actions
"C-Changbin! Can you take our bags to the car! We'll be back now now!" Hyunjin yelled, his voice cracking which made him feel pathetic
Both Hyunjin and Felix instantly dropped their bags and walked to a bench in Changbin's garden
Felix sat on the bench, contemplating his life decisions at that very moment. Hyunjin paced back and forth trying to thing of a way to tell him without messing up
"Speak alrea-"
"Felix I'm so sorry
"For?"
"F-For hurting you"
Felix scoffed and cocked the boy an eyebrow. His feeling of discomfort slowly turned into pure anger and hurt
"You're an ass, you know! Actually no, I'm the asshole for believing that you even liked me!" Felix yelled, standing up and standing right infront of Hyunjin
The boys were standing extremely close. If it wasn't for the height difference, they're noses and lips would probably be touching
"Lix can I just explain"
"THE LAST THING I WANT IS TO HEAR YOU MAKE UP A FAKE EXPLANATION AND APOLOGIZE FOR SOMETHING YOU DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT!"
Felix was visible getting more and more frustrated. Hot tears streamed down his face as his eyebrows furrowed. Hyunjin felt a tear trickle down his own face at the sight of the crying boy
"Lix plea-"
"NO! NO HYUNJIN! IM TIRED OF BELIEVING YOUR LIES! WAS WHAT SAID TO ME A LIE?! WHEN YOU SLEPT IN MY BED?! WHEN YOU TOLD ME THAT IM THE ONLY ONE WHO MATTERS, WAS THAT A LIE TOO?! AM I JUST A TOY TO YOU?!"
"F-Felix please, I-I've always loved you" Hyunjin sobbed and choked on his own tears. The man's chest rised and dipped at a rapid speed as he tried his best not to break down
"NO, YOU'VE ALWAYS LOVED RYUJIN! WHAT MAKES IT WORSE IS THAT YOU DIDNT CHEAT ON ME WITH RYUJIN! YOU CHEATED ON RYUJIN WITH ME! I WAS A SIDE TO YOU ALL THIS TIME WASNT I?! YOU KNOW WHAT IM DONE!"
"L-Lix"
"I really loved you you know" He said in a hushed voice, tears staining his face as he tried to wipe them away
Felix started to fast walk away from the sobbing male. Hyunjin clutched his shirt as his heart started to ache even more. He could feel ever single emotion pour out along with his tears
The boy sat there on the ground as he rapidly gasped for air
Is this what a panic attack feels like?
Or is it just heartbreak?
"Why won't you just listen"
~♡~
I'm having fun making myself cry istg
Sorry if this is cringe lol :)