The following day, I planned to sleep over at Erika's place for the rest of the week. We planned to binge eat, drown ourselves in chick flicks and comfort each other because of our singledom in our 30s. A girl's time with my best friend wouldn't be a bad idea, especially since both of us need it more than ever. Plus we both needed to head to the courtrooms on Friday for her case, she didn't want to go at it alone after what's happened between her and Judge Cole, so I happily volunteered to accompany her. I couldn't blame her, it felt similar to my situation with Nathaniel, even though we didn't go the whole way like they did, and I wanted to cheer her up throughout the day-
Unfortunately, I got caught up.
Throughout the day, I was thrown into meetings, working on paper work for my Father, dealing with the junior associates and then signing off essays for the interns. Add in Dominic's lovely Parents, who have been nothing but too helpful for their problem that I was constantly bothered by them through the phone. I didn't have to ask my best friend for help as even she was buried in paper work for the New York office, the pile seemed to get higher and higher each time I walked passed, but judging from the wrinkle creased between her brows and the way she gripped onto her pen, I don't think bothering her would be the best idea.
It sucked not having Hamish around to be the second in command, but he decided to take the day off with my Father to approach Judge Cole about our current plan, even though it should have been me sitting through their meetings.
I didn't think I'd have to go ask the one person I didn't want to.
"Hey Dominic-" I knocked on the door, feeling a bit tense and nervous as my hold on the stapled document became a bit too shaky for my liking. "Can I speak with you?"
"Yes, what is it?" His hazel eyes peeked from behind the folder opened in front of his face, his fingers tapped heavily against his desk as he froze on the spot.
"I'm so stacked, and I know you wouldn't have expected this, but I'm wondering if you have some time to spare to help me."
The folder lowered down from half his face down to the desk, both hands lay flat atop of it as he gave me his full attention. I fully entered his office, my arms crossed over my chest as I stopped five to six feet from him.
"Your Parents have been nothing but helpful, but are you able to read through the recent monthly report from your Parents' business and give me a summary of it?"
"Depends-" He leaned his chin against his knuckles, his index finger grazed left and right on his lower lip. "That would mean I'd need to stay behind for an hour."
"If you can't, I understand. I'm just held up with a lot of paper work right now, but you probably would-"
"-Give it to me."
I handed him the document and watched him skim through the pages before he looked back up and said, "You owe me."
"I know."
"I'll leave it on your desk when I'm done."
"Thank you!" I accidentally said far too loudly, slightly too excited he'd help me too. I cleared my throat and excused myself, having a lighter weight at my shoulders.
That went better than I expected.
But he was the least of my worries. With a part of my work load just handed over to Dominic, I managed to spare ten minutes to finally go see my best friend. I wandered over to her office, hoping no one else could see me so they wouldn't interrupt my intention to be around my best friend since the beginning of the day. And when I finally got to my intended destination, she was still doing what I last saw her doing.
Buried in paper work.
"Annie, being a partner is going to be a pain, isn't it?" Erika asked as soon as she heard me walk in, her fingers were buried between her blond hair, her head face down towards an open folder and her face shadowed as she looked more frustrated than before.
"I'm sorry I haven't come around, Erika," I apologized as soon as possible. "With my Dad deciding he wanted a day off, everyone decides to come to me instead of the other partner in the firm-" I quickly shut my mouth halfway through the possible rant, I didn't want to burden her more than she already has been with the stacked pile on her desk.
She groaned as she pushed herself back up to sit straight, clasping her fingers on top of her desk as she used her elbows for a firm balance. I took the time to quickly examine Erika, and she looked absolutely exhausted, other than the lack of make up she usually has on, she had bloodshot eyes, dark circles and pale. Her hair no longer tamed and her blouse was a wrinkled mess.
"Holy shit, boo."
"I know! Look at me!" She moaned and whined as I made my way over to her and wrapped my arms around her for the much needed hug. She continued to moan and wine against my shoulder, it wasn't clear but I'm certain her complaints started from subtle and decent sentences to sentences that could come from a sailor's mouth.
"I won't be done until six, we could buy dinner along the way and start our marathon with Dirty Dancing?"
She nodded. "One day, I want a Patrick to teach me the ways of dirty dancing."
I giggled at her drowsy comment and parted from our embrace, I stayed bent down to her level as she stared at me blankly. I helped her rearrange her hair to a proper state, wipe away crumbs from whatever she ate throughout the day and cleaned her up a bit to make her presentable for whoever else wanted to see her today. Throughout the time, I constantly reminded her that what she worked hard for would pay off once she's officially a partner and jetting off to New York without me.
"What do you mean without you."
"Obviously because I'm not with Dominic anymore," I reminded her.
"Doesn't mean your name isn't listed as a transferred employee. Whether you like it or not, I'm taking your butt to New York." Erika slammed her palm on top of the folder laid out in front of her, the thud made the pile sitting on the right corner wobble and tease us with the attempts to slide off.
Fortunately, it didn't.
We both sighed in relief as Erika looked back up at me with puppy eyes, she pressed her palms together into a praying gesture as she pleadingly said, "Please come with me to New York. Being away from you would be so hard. I wouldn't have made it this far without your undying support for me."
I combed her hair, feeling touched by her sentimental words. She made me smile and feel needed.
"Honestly boo, if you weren't around and I had another roommate back in Harvard, I don't think I'd even be sitting here-" She tapped her desk. "On this desk, looking over paper work for the New York office that I'm going to be fronting as a partner. I actually just thought Lawler & Walsh would keep me steady as a senior associate, but no, I'm headed up."
"Erika, you'll be fine with or without me."
She shook her head, her arms wrapped around my waist as she leaned the side of her face on my stomach, she kept a tight grip of my dress from behind as she muttered, "No, boo. I've done things that normal, hardworking corporate- heck- probably any lawyer for that matter, hasn't ever thought of doing."
"Like what?"
Was there any other thing she did that made her feel this bad? I already knew about the client seductions and sex with Judge Cole, I didn't think there were anything else to add to that. Plus, I'm guilty for seducing a client too, and Erika knew that I'd be adding 'sex with Nathaniel Walsh' to that list, so I'd say we were pretty even.
"Do you remember the time Dominic became a partner and I got promoted to the senior associate title?"
"Of course. We partied to the break of dawn after the announcement."
She whimpered and began to sniff against me, she gripped tighter on the material of my dress as she then began to explain-
"Yeah, well, I wasn't meant to get promoted that time around. I was supposed to be transferred to Oklahoma so the woman they've originally wanted to promote can move into my office space. I didn't want to move, I told your Dad and he said it was Nathaniel's call. So I went to Nathaniel and made the mistake of saying that I was willing to do anything to stay in this office, because my life was here and moving to Oklahoma meant starting over."
"Oh my God, Erika, you didn't-" I struggled to pull her arms away so I could look her in the eyes, but she held tighter, shaking her head and refusing to give me the satisfaction of looking at her guilty face.
"Boo-" I heard her sob. "It was an awful mistake, that's why I'm doing everything I can for you to avoid sleeping with him. The time you told me he inappropriately touched you, it made me more determined to do whatever it takes for him not to get the satisfaction of adding you into his fuck list. Imagine when you get on there, the power he'll have over your Dad, and especially, Dominic. He'll also enjoy the glory of having you officially as one of his pawns."
I finally managed to pry her off me, gripping tightly at her wrists as I lowered down to her level, like a child. I shifted between her eyes to see what else she could possibly say out of guilt, but her eyes were covered with water and she let tears drop down her face.
"Don't hate me, Annie. You're the last person I'd want to lose," She sobbed and let her head hang down in shame.
"No, Erika, I know you mean well," I consoled her. I know she didn't lie to me, and there was definitely no denying that Nathaniel's manipulation and abuse of power didn't come to play as well.
Both Hamish and Erika wouldn't lie to me, I don't think they would stoop to that level of lying, would they? I mean, the way they both happened to have broken down within just a few days after coming back from New York, it wasn't actually so suspicious, considering how they saw me break down in front of them in New York and just ended my long time relationship with the love of my life. Probably my lack of emotion and mourning of loss - being my way of coping - triggered their sudden confessions.
It felt weird hearing the truth from them, yet the whole time, I've wished for nothing more than to hear the truth.
I couldn't help but think about it for the rest of the idea. It made me feel more responsible to play out our plan and make everything better for the both of them and everyone else that's been directly placed in the line of fire, and it didn't help when interns innocently question me for their assignments and I've mostly replied vaguely with lack of honesty behind every word I said. It was sad as I watched, read and heard most of them say that they'd want nothing more than to be part of Lawler & Walsh, since they knew nothing about what went on behind closed doors.
I kept quiet.
By six o'clock, on the dot, Erika came to my office amidst my piling of documents for the next day. She was fragile, slumped slightly with a lacking enthusiasm on her face, she could barely lift her crocodile skin labeled bag and her heels loosely dangled from her other hand as she wore flats instead. We both said nothing, merely nodding in agreement as we left the building together. Thankfully, my Father allowed me to borrow his driver, where my things were already packed in the boot so there were no delays in going back to Erika's apartment. However, the ride to her apartment was just as quiet, we both stayed at either end of the back seat, she seemed distracted by the lights of the city while I stared down at the screen of my phone, at my new screen wallpaper, which was an image of me, my Brother and my Mother back when I was around five years old - it came from the scrapbook I found the other day.
Back when I was just as innocent.
I didn't think following my Father's footsteps was going to be a struggle, where everyone fought for their place in the corporate ladder and did anything in order to win, so they could lavish and live amongst their own luxuries. My Father and Nathaniel made it seem cool, made it seem so easy, and made it seem like they fought for their clients with all their might. Before I knew the life I signed myself up to, whenever I thought of my Father, he reminded me of a hero and a man that worked hard at the best that he could for those he loved. And Nathaniel - well - the thought I used to admire and adore his hardworking nature surely changed for the worst, he changed and his true colours came out, which probably was the result of the resurfaced topic of Janina Miller.
What happened the night she was murdered, we've yet to find out.
"Boo, I cleaned up to the best of my ability," Erika said as she opened the door and welcomed me to her home, where she happily would express her true self in pure confidence.
"Doesn't matter, boo," I chuckled and lugged the blue small sized luggage Antonia let me borrow. "You don't have to worry, I lived with you before, remember?"
"Yeah, but it's been a while since you moved out to live with your ex, so things might have changed. Probably picking up some of his cleanliness."
"Is that sarcasm?"
She laughed and shook her head. It was good to see her flash a smile again, I surely missed it. "You can interpret it in any way you want to, okay?" She joked and disappeared off to her bedroom.
I already knew my way around, I didn't need to even ask as I casually made myself at home at the spare bedroom, where I got ready to do our movie marathon with glasses of wine and pizzas - a nice wind down from the busy day. Dressed in my pink and white striped pyjama pants and a simple loose white tee, and the freedom of having no bra and underwear, well, I was already in the zone to be a complete bum on her couch. Erika came out in unicorn printed pyjama shirt and pants combo that she owned since she moved to LA, a 'call for sanity' as she called them.
"I ordered pizza, the wine should be in the kitchen, so if you want to start early, go for it." She instructed as she sat on the spot next to me, her arms and legs stretched out at all different angles before she curled into a ball and leaned her head against my shoulder. She was such a cat.
"I'll wait for pizza, the wine can wait."
"Boo, remember our bet?"
"Which one? We've got quite a few-"
She lazily reached over for the DVD case for Dirty Dancing, we both ogled with a bit of excitement. I pointed at the photo and asked, "Are you talking about the one who can do the ultimate dance lift first?"
"No-" She lightly smacked my finger.
"Good, because I think we're a little too old for that."
"I'm talking about the one who gets married first."
"Oh."
Silence took over for a while, we both kept into our own thoughts, well, I surely did. If she brought this up a couple of months ago, then we wouldn't have been this quiet and had quite a laugh at the fact I was already dead set on losing that bet. I couldn't help but peek at the emptiness of my left ring finger, the line no longer visible and no longer showed signs that I once wore a ring around it. Then, I remembered. I reached for the chain around my neck, the little trinket of the matched hearts still dangled from my neck, which I realized I hadn't been able to put it away as it became a habit of putting it back on right after I showered and when I woke up in the morning.
"Clearly, we're back on an equal ground." I joked, trying not to think of anything more about it.
But Erika wanted to push further. She sat up and turned to me, her hands grabbed a hold of mine as she asked, "Why aren't you at all in a depressed state? Why aren't you acting like you got just ended a serious relationship?"
"Because-" I bit my lower lip and shrugged. "I don't know."
"Boo, I saw how you were when you and that other guy broke up back in Harvard, and compared to Dominic, you didn't love that guy as much, but he still broke your heart," She pressed on.
What was she wanting me to say? That I still cared for and loved Dominic? Wasn't it obvious already? Or did she want to say something else about it?
"I just don't want you to forget who you're doing this all for-"
"-I'm doing it for you and Hamish, my Dad too-"
"-You're lying to yourself if you don't admit that you're doing all this for Dominic. I told you my reason."
I rolled my eyes and tugged my hands away from her. "I don't need another reason. If I do admit that, then it'd be just as useless."
"Why don't you tell him?"
"Why are we going back to this? Can we not back track on everything we already said and agreed upon?"
"Fine, if that's how you want to play it-" She stood up, crossed her arms and stared down at me like a Parent scolding a child. "I'm going to make a bet with you."
"Really? Now?"
"If Dominic gets it to his fucking, stupid head that you're worth more than his job and proves just that, when he asks you on a date, you have to tell him the truth."
I shook my head and refused to look at her.
"If he doesn't do that by the end of next week, then fine, I'll leave you alone about this. If he does, then you owe me a massive fucking cake."
"A cake?" I scoffed and nearly broke from my annoyed state for her to laugh.
"Yes-" She also broke to a light giggle. "And it should say, 'Erika Barnett is always right, and I'm always wrong'. And say your name at the bottom."
"You dork."
Erika's weight leaned against the side of my body, her arms tossed around me as she nuzzled the nape of my neck. We both giggled as she whispered, "I'm a better dork than any fiancé."
My best friend and soul sister helped me realize my biggest fault. I mean, when I called for honesty from everyone else, I wasn't being honest with them in return.
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Author's Note:
Sorry, I'm so not myself lately.
Just got into an incident and I can't stop thinking about it especially how the other side is treating me and my Mom, and I'm going to try update as often as I can, but until this gets settled, I don't know.
My head is also all over the place in the creative area, especially in the last few chapters, I mean, at the moment, I'm at a state where I want to write a new story or write out a scenario that doesn't even fit into my original layout for this. Trust me, I've written segments and planned this story from head to toe, and there's already 18 (now 17) drafted chapters + media all titled and have their some segments as a starting point (sometimes ending or midpoint) written out in them.
I do that, and I can't get over the hurdle where I finish a story, it's a bad habit that I tend to do ever-so often. I used to write stories and leave for a year or more and continue from that point, and from there, I don't even know if those past readers are still around. I don't want to do it ever again, and I really want to stop it.
I'm that weird, lol.
Thank you once more for reading, voting and commenting, you don't know how much it means to me, and how I managed to attract such an amazing crowd is still a mystery to me.
x
SDB