I screwed up last night, big time and I wish I could take it back. I have never felt that loopy from drinking ever before. My tolerance of alcohol is high, but yesterday made me not think clearly. I kissed Brad in front of Mason. I screwed up and he still took care of me, but I know it's bad, because he couldn't even bring himself to kiss me. He also wants to force me to come out publicly. I have picked him and that is enough for now.
I am strong. I have been bullied and it made me grow a tougher skin, but I refuse to enter that superficial and judgement world. I refuse to be associate with people who choose to treat other human beings with such low respect. Who are willing to tear each other apart for short term gratification. I walked down his street and call a cab. I will just add our fight and possibly breakup as part of my shitty weekend. Breakup? Was I ever his girlfriend? I need my friends someone to tell me I am not making a mistake.
I quickly send a text to kim and Jenny to meet up at a Ville Cafe later in the evening.
******
"I need to tell you girls something." I tell kim and Jenny
"Spit it out already!" Jenny shouted, taking a sip of her Italian soda.
"I think me and Mason Troy..are are dating....were dating." I said taking a huge bite of my coffee cake.
"Umh, what was that?" Jenny said, clearly not understanding what I said. Kim heard it though
"You bitch, you didn't tell us till now. Everybody is having sex, but me." She shouted.
"What? who? I am so lost." Jenny said.
"I was not sure what was going on between us. We aren't having sex, just maybe dating." I said, looking at kim. Why is she being like this.
"Since, when?" Kim ask and Jenny is still lost.
"Bonnie party." I take a large sip of my drink. Jenny hits the table. "Shut the fuck up both of you and tell me what you are talking about."
"Jesus, Jenny you almost spilled my drink." Kim shouted at her. I am sure the whole cafe is looking at us, but I am not going to look up to check. "She is dating or think she is dating Mason."
"Well We never made it official or anything, but it felt like I was."
"Amira, really!? Mason Troy? Like from school?"
"Yes that one." I reply.
Score!" She squealed
"Ok, please explain." Kim said, more calmly.
"Well" I take a breath "When he drove me home from Bon party he flat out said he was interested in me. I told him I was not interested in joining his world and that he should leave me alone. We didn't talk for a week, then he asked me on a date. I hesitated at first, but then decided yes. We went skating, we talked and we kissed. It was so perfect. I was so happy. I got butterflies in my stomach. I told him we had to take it slow and he agreed. After the whole ass thing with his friends. I stop talking to him. He kept texting me apologizing, but I wasn't having any of it. We got in a fight about C.J to add to the whole ass thing and when I showed up at his house to work on our project we ended up making up and making out. I meet his mom and sister, then me and him had a mini dinner date. It was going great until I messed up."
"Messed up, how?" Kim asked.
"Bonnie invited me to a little party at her house on Saturday. First she sends Brad to pick me, then she is awol the whole time leaving me stuck with Brad. I was drinking and we ended up in the hot tub. Out of nowhere Mason shows up and then Bonnie dared me with that stupid truth or dare game to let Brad kiss me. I was going in for a light kiss on the cheeks, but he kiss kiss me and shoveled his tongue down my mouth.
"No way." Jenny gasp.
"You kissed man whore Brad."
"He kissed me." I correct Jenny. "It gets worse. Mason left the tub. I drunkenly chased after him. He was so angry that I would let Brad kiss me. He basically gave me an ultimatum. I pick him publicly as my boyfriend or we break up." A tear leaves my eye.
"Baby girl don't cry." Kim move over to my side of the booth. "You didn't tell him did you?" Jenny asked.
"No." I shake my head. "I couldn't." You know I can't let anyone in there." That life was a nightmare and letting more than who knows in will be making my self too vulnerable.
"We understand." Kim nod
"I just hope I am not making a mistake." More tears comes out. Shit. I am an emotional wreck.
"You have to go with your heart baby girl. What you have been through was tough. If he truly likes you he will understand and give you time. Kim said.
"He doesn't understand Amira. He needs you to tell him what you have been through and why you can't go back there. If you don't do that and hear what he has to say, then how do you know if you aren't making a mistake?" Jenny said. "I know you are afraid but at some point you have to let that go and just trust." I wipe my eyes. They are right. Things felt right with Mason.
"Were you happy?" Kim said, reaching out to hold my hand. I nod my head.
"I am. I feel free around him."
"Then tell him. You would have more to gain than to lose and if he doesn't agree, It is his lost and I will break his handsome face. She laughed and me and Jenny join in.
"Damn, I have to get my love life going. You bitches are having sex and I am not." Kim said stuffing her face with cheesecake.
"We aren't having sex... not yet at least." I said with a smile. I am planning on having sex with him. It isn't a rush, but I am also not saving myself.
"Sex is great!" Jenny said making a pleasure face.
"Yah slut" kim added, rolling her eyes and we all burst out laughing. How did I end up with such amazing friends.
I get a text from Bonnie "what was that yesterday? Why did Mason get so angry and punched brad? Do you guys have something going on?"
"No we don't. He was just worried that I drank too much. He just dropped me home."
"When did you guys become friends?"
"We aren't really friends. We just partner on a project and he was looking out for me."
I get a call from mason and answer it.
**Mason pov*
"Dude, you have been so distant lately. What's going on. You have been skipping out on parties and meeting girls. I thought we were leaving Grad year with a bang." Dustin said, taking a gulp of his beer.
I need to tell someone about Mira. Dustin and I have been friends for years and even though he acts like a complete airhead and asshole, he is a pretty descent human being. I know he will definately understand.
"We have been friends since the first grade. You are basically my brother. I am seeing a girl and it is serious."
"Mason for real? Stop pulling my legs. What happened to staying single and just playing the field?"
"Yes for real. That was the plan over the summer. Things have really changed." I said, running my hand through my hair.
"Who is this girl?"
"She is amazingly beautiful, she is smart and really not like any another girl I have ever met." I catch myself smiling as I speak of Mira.
"You hitting it? She got you whipped." He said, giving me a wink and taking another sip of his beer.
"No, I am not hitting anything. Don't speak of her that way." I gritted out, angrily at him. "Forget it"
"You are serious... Okay... sorry dude. What's her name?" He asked, dropping his beer on the table.
"Amira Adaora from school." He paused for a second, before a light bulb goes off.
"No fucking way. You mean the black girl. The one that called brandon and Tyler assholes and pigs." He said, his jaw about to hit the floor. "Dude, she's hot!"
"Yes her." I said, with a smile creeping up on my face. I am proud she yelled at Tyler and Brandon for their comments. "I know she's hot."
"When did you guys start seeing each other?" He asked more serious than before.
"Since the second week of school."
"Dude, no wonder you have been bailing out on me. I don't care who you date, she is hot is all I can say. The boys however, I don't know..." He said, drinking the last of his beer.
"I can deal with them." I said rolling my eye's a habit I have start to pick up from Mira.
"Wait she kissed Brad at Bonnie party." He reminds me of a terrible night.
"That's the fucking problem. She kissed that asshole in front of everyone. I can't get the fucking image out my head and I want to knock him out."
"That fucking sucks. Did you break up with her?"
"I am pretty sure she broke up with me. I gave her an ultimatum pick me and go public or we end this and she walked away. She fucking walked away."
"Did she give you a reason why? I have never seen you this down about a girl."
"She just said she couldn't go back there." I drink the last of my beer.
"Go back where?" He ask the million dollar question that have been playing in my head.
"I don't know. She never explained." I huff with frustration.
"Well then maybe you should talk to her and find out and if she still wants to breakup. If she does then I know the perfect remedies for a broken heart." He laughed. Hooking up with random girls and I am not about that anymore. "Who is going to be my wingman now? Damn." He said, checking out a girl that is passing.
"You will do fine by yourself or with some other asshole." I said, rolling my eyes.
"Ouch" He smirked, pushing a fake arrow to his chest. We finish our beer and he heads off to see brittany, while I go see Mira.
Happy holidays!
-Rachel King