Tony Stark was not the type of man to 'care' about stuff, he certainly wasn't the fatherly type. Or- that's what the media said. Peter knew the truth. And the truth was that Tony Stark was a helicopter parent. He had more 'baby monitor' protocols than Peter could count, the moment Peter got injured Tony was there with a plaster and an ice pack. Anytime Peter fell ill, Tony was there with hot soup and hugs.
In other words, he was an amazing dad.
(albeit embarrassing)
And that leads us to where we are now. With Tony Stark himself organising a school bake sale.
—-----
It started on a tuesday. Peter was woken up by Friday, went back to sleep, was yelled at by Steve to get up, woke up late then got sidetracked as spiderman and was an hour late to school.
As he ran into his second period English class his teacher sighed.
"Thank you for finally gracing us with your presence mr parker. Detention after school."
She scolded as Peter sat down.
He tried his best to ignore the sniggers and whispers surrounding him but alas that was all he could hear, at least it was mildly funny if not completely mortifying that 50% of the people in the school thought he was either a gang member or a prostitute.
After class, his teacher- Miss peterson- called for him to stay behind.
"Mr parker."
"Yes, miss?" Peter gulped.
"Unfortunately, the frequencies of your absences are inexcusable and principal Morita will have to phone home. It's your choice whether you want to be there for the call or not."
"Yes miss," Peter sighed, knowing that this would be a shitshow.
"Now get to break."
"Yes miss." Peter replied again, rushing out to find Ned and complain about his life.
—------
Principal Morita sat in front of Peter with a solemn expression.
"I'm sorry it's come to this Mr Parker, but we had no choice. These absences can't go on. Understand?"
"Yes sir." Peter sighed, maintaining a bored expression. Inside however he was fully panicking. What if Mr Stark took away his suit again? What if he sent him back to foster care? What if-
The phone stopped ringing.
"Hello hello, billionaire playboy philanthropist Tony Stark at your disposal?" Tony answered. Peter wanted to dig himself into a hole and never come out again.
Principal morita stuttered, looking at peter incredulously
"R-right um im calling on behalf of peter parker? I'm his headmaster.
"Ahh what has he done now?"
"I'd just like to inquire into the large amount of absences Peter has taken."
"Those? Well you know- teenagers. He knows all the material already so I don't see the problem."
"Well if it continues Mr Parker will have to be held back a year to make up."
Peter internally short-circuited. Held back a year? He was going to die.
"Says who?"
Peter put his head in his hands. He hated mr stark.
"The- the PTA introduced the rule recently, sir." Principal Morita looked thoroughly terrified.
"Well i'll join it then and get rid of it. Peter is studying online for his mit classes and is frequently needed to do stuff for his internship during school hours- pepper should have sent over the documents?"
Oh god.
"Um-" principal morta was lost for words.
"Then it's settled. Pete's absences are authorised and i'll be showing up for the next PTA meeting. When is that?"
"Its on- on friday after school, sir."
"Thanks! Also would you like Thai or Italian for dinner underoos?"
The question caught peter off guard, so he stuttered out a quiet
"Italian please mr stark."
"With extra garlic bread?"
"Yup, and spaghetti!"
"I'll tell capsicle, love you!" and with that he hung up leaving a dumbstruck morita and a bright red peter.
"So do I still have detention?" Peter asked. He knew he was probably pushing his luck but he also knew that pushing their luck is one of the Stark family's many talents.
"No, no you don't. You can get back to class now peter."
"Thanks!" damn, peter thought. He should use the 'i'm in university and my dad is a billionaire,' card more often.
—----
Friday
—-----
Tony pulled on one of his cleaner band t-shirts and the pair of jeans with the least burn marks on them in an attempt to look presentable but not business meeting presentable (not that he would know, he skips all his meetings anyway). He ran a hand through his hair, put on his sunglasses and practised his award winning smile. He was gonna blow the other parents away.
20 minutes later he pulled into the school car park in a bright red and gold ferrari. He scanned the school exit for Peter, spotting his son staring at him looking completely mortified.
Tony strutted towards the school, turning the heads of pretty much everyone.
"Mr stark! What are you doing?" Peter whisper- yelled.
"Oh so it's back to Mr Stark now? This morning you were calling me dad." Tony said,far too loudly and causing a few of Peter's classmates to gasp.
Flash fainted in the background.
"Why are you here? Where's Happy?" Peter panicked. Ned and MJ would never let him live this down.
"Oh I'm here for the PTA meeting!"
Peter's face fell. Oh fuck. He was serious.
"I'm going to die. Of embarrassment."
"Well do it quietly kid- i have parents to meet." Tony replied with a smirk. He ruffled Peter's hair and kissed his kid on the forehead.
"I promise not to do anything drastic kid, okay?"
Peter turned red for what seemed like the millionth time that week.
"Okay but I want pancakes and a movie marathon after dinner." he pouted. Tony chuckled
"Sure kid, happy's over there to pick you up. Be safe in the lab!" he called, walking away.
"No promises!" Peter called back. Well, at least Flash wouldn't accuse him of faking his internship anymore?
—-----
Tony strolled confidently into the staff room, where a number of parents and Principal Morita were sat. There was an assortment of biscuits on the table, and a few parents were holding cups of coffee.
"Sorry i'm late, what did i miss?"
The room immediately fell silent.
"Ahh Mr Stark, hello!" Morita greeted me.
"Please,take a seat." he offered. Tony obliged, sitting in an ugly mauve armchair next to a blond, sour looking woman.
A bald man in a blue shirt was the next to speak, introducing himself as Cindy Moon's father.
"Whose parent are you? I didn't think you had children?"
"Peter Parker, Pepper and I adopted him about a year ago. Great kid."
Mr. Moon nodded, not really knowing how to reply.
The lady sitting next to him then held her hand out to him.
"Mrs Thompson, Flash Thompson's mother. I'm the head of the committee." her voice was sickly, laced with fake nice-ness. Tony didn't take her hand, nodding to her instead.
"I've heard of this 'flash' boy. Apparently he's been bullying pete." Tony replied, with the same fake tone and an innocent tip of his head to the side.
Mrs Thompson's fake smile tightened.
"Well boys will be boys."
"Hmm. Does that include making fun of the others' dead parents? His dead aunt and uncle?"
Mrs Thompson opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by morita.
"Well today we are here to discuss fundraising ideas for the senior school trip. Any ideas?"
Various parents put forward ideas such as a fête, a fancy dress day, a carwash. All pretty mundane ideas in tony's opinion.
After many minutes of mind numbing suggestions, someone put forward the idea of a bake sale. Overdone yes but food. ergo=
That was what they settled on.
"Ill bring brownies." flash's mother said, as another offered to bring rocky road.
"Ill have capsicle and buck bake kreigy cake? One of their tastier prisoner of war camp recipes. Certainly better than the acorn coffee." Tony made a face as he remembered the nasty (and probably poisonous) beverage.
The parents and Morita gaped.
"Capsicle and buck as in captain america and bucky barnes?" Morita asked incredulously.
"Yup! No one else in the tower is capable of cooking anything edible so-"
"Um well that's sorted. Has Mr Stark been added to the group chat? Yes? Well then we're done! Everyone have a nice evening!" Morita said, letting the parents file out. Mr Stark followed with a smirk.
Buck and mr. stevemerica were gonna be pissed.