It's a clear sky tonight, with only few stars blinking in a far sight.
You got out a blanket that was surprisingly in the back of Yeji and Ryujin's car. Looks like the two often went out late at night or do a picnic somewhere.
You laid it in the ground a few inches away from the cliff.
It was a very perfect view, because once you look down the lights coming from the houses, hotels and building that are far away are clearly seen.
For someone who admires city lights a lot, would love this place.
Your backs laid side by side, your hands a heartbeat away from one another, you and Karina are definitely stargazing even if there are no many stars seen at up night.
And so, you both fell into each others arms.
Karina wouldn't admit but the atmosphere and the place makes this very romantic. Probably more than a couple could think and explain.
Because it's the kind that'll make you close your eyes, it's very different from what couples should feel.
Because right now,
There's no butterflies in your stomachs.
It's more than that.
This is the kind of feeling that hits home instead of romantic feels. It makes you feel safe, makes you feel embraced, makes you wants to never let go of her again.
It's the scary kind of romantic.
And, you're afraid of acknowledging any of those.
Karina will probably never tell this to you, but this is so romantic and overwhelming for her.
Her heart is beating rapidly. Her cheeks and ears are heating up. It was like you're doing one of the things both of you usually do back then.
Karina's hand is itching to touch and hold you.
You're making her feel this way and she wouldn't blame you about it.
She done something she's regretting all of her life. It was the incident, it was your past, and she's anxious for tomorrow.
It's just the two of you right now. She's nervous and happy.
Maybe because it was you.
And Karina concedes herself to all of those, because she'd rather face everything now rather than run away and have it chase after her, her whole life with regret.
Karina refuses to be eaten by it again.
You sat up making the latter to look at your way. You hugged your knees and placed your chin on it.
Karina did the same but unlike you, she stretches her legs, her hands supporting her weight behind her.
" It's beautiful right ? " You spoke destroying the silence while looking at the view infront. Karina look at the place where you're looking at.
" Yeah, it is "
Karina wasn't looking up at the night sky nor at the city lights infront when she said that. She was none other than looking at you.
" What if we'll just sleep here ? " Karina joked.
You look at her, She has this playful gaze and playful smirk formed on her lips. " Idiot, We'll freeze to death "
Karina stares at you.
You know she'll respond something nonsense and you were right when you heard what she said. " Why not ? I'm with you though " she chuckles.
You and Karina's conversation loosened up and now you're closer than both of you probably have realized.
Your right hand place under Karina's left hand.
Maybe you have already noticed it, the warmth is too familiar and missed, both of you can't let go.
You and Karina wouldn't.
Her head already resting comfortably on your shoulder despite of being stupified, you didn't even dare to move her head away instead you move closer to her so she could rest her head more comfortable on it.
Karina started humming and mumbling to a song.
You recognizes the melody but you can't figure out the title.
" What was the song ? " You asks after a second she stopped. Karina gaze up at you, and she was wrong of doing it.
Because the moment she looked up, she met your face.
Karina's breath hitched when her eyes met yours. Your gaze it was different and she's sure she had seen it before, maybe the time when you and her became officially together.
Karina knows she can't let what's she's thinking right now to happened.
She have no consent to, and she have no right on doing so but before she could think about it, before she could even stopped herself on doing it.
She finally close the gap.
And she've never been shocked till now when she felt you kiss back.
Your lips moves in sync.
And she'll admit the taste is still the same, but the message of the kiss feels different.
It was as if,
It's telling her, it'll be the last kiss she'll be sharing with you.
Everything is set aflame.
She cannot go back anymore. There's no turning back because the feeling of each others lips pressed against one another is too sweet of a treat.
It's a risk both of you are willing to take.
But this will make everything harder for the both of you.
This will make it harder for one to let go.
You're being controlled by the feelings you and Karina have been hiding for the past years.
A rush of heat enters as you taste each others mouth when Karina grab the hem of your shirt and pulled you more closer.
The moon, city lights and starless sky became a witness.
A witness to see two past lovers kissing each other under the night.
Your heart is fluttering while your mind is occupied with the fact that your ex's lips is on yours.
You're confused.
You're enlightened, and it's weird.
Your brain is telling you to stop, but you can't.
Not when you already gone this far, Not when you're feeling alive after four years.
While Karina,
she feels like she's going to explode any minute at the way you kiss her back with the same force she's giving.
She's being stupid for initiating it when infact she shouldn't have, but she felt brave of doing so. She've been longing for everything that connects to you.
Your lips, your touch, your warmths, just everything.
Her pride is wailing at her. She's telling herself to pull back. But she can't, not that she can't, she just won't.
Not when she's finally given a chance to be beside you again.
The person who she once called as her home.
Both of you had lost your minds, but you know what are you doing.
Both of you had been waiting for this all this time, but maybe you weren't supposed to cross the line. But maybe, just maybe, You and Karina were right to do so.
Maybe this is how it should be.
Your hold Karina's cheeks cupping it, while Karina's arms are snaked around yours.
Your lips touching and moving around each other feels breathaking and suffocating at the same time.
What you're doing is wrong.
And both of you are both aware of that.
Soon, both of you pulled away when one another needs air to breathe. Your foreheads rested on each others while slowly gasping for air.
" can't we just stay like this ? " It was you who breaks the silence.
Karina look at your eyes and all she could see is sadness, and she knows she's reflecting the same thing to your own. " I'm sorry.. " she breathed out.
Even if Karina wanted to, she can't, that's wrong and that would be unfair to you.
" we can't.. "
With that, you shut your eyes tightly.
Your hand slips down to her cheek as you slowly pushed her away from you and look at her in the eye with confusion when she said something that bothers your head again.
" maybe not now "
_________________