Angelica could feel the salty summer air on her face, blowing through her hair as she drove through the small town called Cousins. The windows in her white Chrysler were rolled down, and the speakers were on full volume, blasting her mom's favorite song "Party In the U.S.A." by Miley Cyrus. Despite the upbeat song filling the air, she couldn't help but feel pessimistic about visiting Susannah's beach house that year.
Her mom had been best friends with Susannah and Laurel since their freshman year of high school. Sometime during their years of friendship, they had made it a tradition to visit Susannah's beach house every summer. She could only imagine how fun it was before they decided to start their families.
She was the first out of five of the summer kids to be born. Her mom found out she was pregnant with her in December, and when the doctors told her she was likely to be born in July, she couldn't have been any happier. After her mom found out she was pregnant, she unintentionally started a domino effect. Susannah found out she was pregnant later that same December, and then a couple of months later, Laurel was also pregnant.
The moms had grown even closer throughout their pregnancies despite living in different states; they were with each other through all the steps of their pregnancies. That summer of '04 had been their best one yet until her mom had to drive home early to make sure she had her doctor there to deliver her. Susannah and Laurel had also driven home early, saying it didn't feel the same. She was born on July 22, 2004. Susannah had given birth to Conrad in August, and Laurel to Steven in October.
The summer of '05 was even better than the previous, according to the moms. They all got along great. The next few years brought Jeremiah and Belly, and life couldn't have been better. Her parents tried to have another kid, but her mom had a miscarriage, and although she said it was okay, it took a toll on her. Eventually, her mom gained her original self back, and they always celebrated what was supposed to be her little brother's birthday.
Besides that traumatic experience for her family that summer, they had always been over the moon to be in Cousins. So if you had asked her four months ago if she was ready to spend the summer at her favorite place, with the Fishers and Conklins, she would have said she was always ready. And she was until her mom passed away in a car crash at the end of April.
A little before that, her life was already beginning to fall apart, so it was the cherry on top of her spiral to rock bottom. But she had to stay strong for her mom; her mom had survived the original car crash but was in a pretty bad condition. The doctor let them know she would eventually pass, so Angelica and her dad spent the rest of the time her mom had left in the hospital with her. Her mom made them get on a group call with the 'summer crew,' as she called it, to tell them that she still wanted them to go to Cousins that summer.
No one could ever tell her mom no, so they all promised. Her mom said her goodbyes to them and then told her dad and her that she wanted to be cremated. She had talked about it so freely, her and her dad couldn't help but sob the whole time she told them her wishes of having some of her ashes spread in Cousins. She died later that same night, holding both of their hands, and they had no choice but to move on with their lives.
So here she was, driving herself to Cousins beach with her mom's ashes sitting in the passenger seat, fulfilling their tradition of blasting their song as she arrived at the house. She turned the volume down and took a few deep breaths, knowing that as soon as she let it be known that she was there, she would be playing the role of a lifetime. She knew she wasn't okay, but she would act like she was because it was the one thing her mom asked of her that summer—for it to be perfect.
After sitting in the driveway for a few more minutes, she honked the horn of her car. Three times to be exact, holding the third a little longer than the rest, just like they always did. Immediately, Jeremiah ran out of the house and practically pulled her out of the car to hug her. She could see the rest of the house quickly follow behind him.
"How are you?" He whispered in her ear.
She squeezed her arms around him tighter, to let him know that she appreciated the question. "I'm okay, really."
Before he could respond, Steven pulled her away from him and into a hug. "Stop hogging her."
She could feel them all looking at her with sympathetic eyes that she didn't need at that moment unless they wanted her to start full-on bawling in front of them. When Steven let go of her, she grabbed Belly and hugged her, then she took Laurel and Susannah and brought them into a group hug.
"Aw, my sweet girl," Susannah's hand cupped her cheek and rubbed her thumb along it. "How have you been?"
She smiled at Susannah and Laurel, who were looking very hard at her, waiting for her answer. "I've been better, but I'm doing good." She could see on their faces that they were not convinced in the tiniest bit, so she spoke up again. "I promise."
Before they could reply, the door opened again, revealing Conrad, who just stood there looking at her. She could feel the tension radiating off everyone, and it took everything in her not to go over there and kick his ass. Instead, she gave him a small smile and a wave because even if she wanted to, she didn't have the energy to talk to him.
He gave her a little smile back, but she could tell it was an "I'm sorry your mom died" smile, not an "I miss you, sorry that I was a dickhead" smile. The tension could still be felt as she looked around at the group before Jeremiah spoke up, "I'll help you with your bags."
"Thanks, Jere," she told him as she walked over to grab one of her bags, and he led them inside the house where everyone had made themselves comfortable on the couch in the living room.
"Wait," Susannah stopped them from walking up the stairs. "Where's your guitar?"
She could feel the disappointment that was about to come when she let the next few words slip from her mouth. "I sold it." And she was correct because the look of shock that replaced everyone but Susannah's faces was enough to try to make her explain herself. "It's just that I hadn't been playing much lately. But you already knew."
"Your dad told me," Susannah frowned. "And it's a good thing too because it's up in your room right now."
She swallowed hard before responding. "You were the buyer my dad found?"
"You know I couldn't let you get rid of our songs of the summer," Susannah smiled. "Now go up and grab it and sing to us."
She pursed her lips, looking around the room, trying to avoid her eyes. "When I said I hadn't been playing, writing is also something I haven't been doing." The group was unusually quiet, watching Susannah and her talk about the fact that she hadn't kept up one of their traditions. "No song of the summer this year, I'm sorry."
The song of the summer was something that had become a tradition when she was just four years old. She had been obsessed with "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus, and it was the only song she had let her mom play on their way to the beach house.
"Susi! Lauri!" Four-year-old her jumped out of her mom's car as soon as she saw her mom's two best friends step out of the front door. They both had their arms wide open, ready for her to jump right onto both of them.
"What about me?" Conrad had said with a frown, but then Steven hit him with his elbow. "Ow!"
"Us," Steven said. Both Conrad and she had been confused. "What about us?"
"Oh!" she said and ran to her two best friends, pulling them into a group hug. "I missed you guys!"
She let go of them quickly and hugged Jeremiah and Belly, who were three and two. "Hello babies!"
"We're not babies," Belly crossed her arms, and Jeremiah nodded his head, agreeing with her.
"Yeah, you are," Steven stuck his tongue out at her and ran inside.
Everyone followed him inside to the living room, where Conrad had pulled her into another hug. "I want my own."
"Ok," she said, and they stood there hugging until she pulled apart first. "Want to hear a song?"
"Yes," Conrad said. "Mommy! Lauri! MJ! Angel is going to sing for us!"
"What? No, I'm not," she crossed her arms. "I was going to show you on my mom's phone."
"No," he said. "Sing it."
So she did. It wasn't very good, as a matter of fact, it wasn't good at all. But Conrad was smiling and nodding his head along with her singing, so she finished the whole song. Everyone clapped and boosted her confidence until Steven decided he was going to tell her the truth. "That wasn't good."
Conrad elbowed him. "Shut up."
"Boys, be nice," Susannah warned Conrad. "That was very good, honey."
"Thank you," she blushed and went to hide behind her mom.
"Definitely the song of the summer," Laurel agreed.
Every summer after, she would listen to every song released and pick one to take to the beach house to sing for her audience. That was until she was twelve years old and started to learn to play the guitar, write songs, and take singing lessons. Since then, every single song of the summer was an original by her.
"It's okay, honey," Susannah smiled, but she could see it didn't reach her eyes. She felt like absolute shit, and just as she was about to open her mouth to tell her that she would write the stupid song, Susannah spoke up again. "You go get unpacked, honey, and meet us back down here for dinner."
"I will," she smiled at her and turned to walk away but stopped in her tracks and looked back at her. "Thank you for buying my guitar and keeping it here. I owe you a song."
Susannah genuinely smiled this time. "Don't worry about it, honey."