The hours following Millie's second meeting with Beck seemed to drag on and on. The second hand on the clock appeared to take twice as long to circuit the full minute when compared to how time felt before Beck. She couldn't get the man out of her head no matter how hard she tried. When she was with him, when she thought about him, her head didn't ache as bad and her fatigue waned. The thought of him was all consuming. It ate her alive, in the best of ways. In her mind's eye, she could picture his face: chiseled, thick dark brows, serious gray eyes. The face of a wolf. A shiver rocked down her spine at the memory of him falling into the form of a wolf. Millie had refused to fully process it yet, taking it in her stride was easy enough. She wouldn't think too hard about it until she sorted herself out.
Millie spent the early morning in bed, lying on her back and attempting to shake herself of the dreams she had that night. The wolves in her dreams had begun to wear Beck's face and coloring. Instead of running through the trees, he laid among them, falling out of fur and into skin. In her dreams, she held his human face and pulled his lips to hers.
Homework and papers from school sat piled on Millie's desk, but she had yet to think about completing any of it. She was consumed by what had been and what was happening. There were only two months left until graduation, she figured she could slip behind on a few assignments and manage to skate by. Until Tara found out, then she would have a few words to say.
Turning on her side, she buried her face into her pillow. Her head had been throbbing since she left Beck the day before. It was as if her proximity to him dulled her condition. But at the moment, she thought her skull might explode.
Finally, the clock on her bedside table turned over to seven and she allowed herself to get out of bed. She shuffled to the bathroom down the hall from her bedroom. Millie paused to smell the air inside her home, once again mystified by her abilities she had never realized. She could smell her mother's body wash still lingering from her shower and the peanut butter she had spread on her toast before leaving for work early that morning. It was shocking still, knowing she was different. She felt validated knowing she was different. Crazy, maybe, but different nonetheless. And it was incredibly relieving to have someone on her side, a mate, who was willing to help her. Millie's cheeks warmed at the thought of what he had said the day before.
Slipping into the bathroom, she turned on the light and peered at herself in the mirror. Her blunt cut dark hair laid in waves to her shoulders, mused from sleep. Her eyes were deep brown, intensified by the dark circles beneath her eyes from the perpetual lack of sleep. Her full lips pouted slightly, dry from the cold. She looked the same as she had for years, but she couldn't have felt more different. She suddenly felt hope and purpose. Things she couldn't remember when she had last felt.
Millie went through the motions, showering, brushing her teeth, and washing her face with a slight hurry. She was eager to see Beck. In the kitchen, she took her pills and downed a few cups of water. In the back of her head, she recalled him mentioning he had breakfast covered. But she never liked to be empty handed. She put on a pot of coffee and prepared a large thermos. The clock on the oven read ten to eight, she figured she had waited long enough. Grabbing the full thermos, she snagged her keys off the hook by the door, and ran through brisk morning to her Bronco.
The day was beautiful for late March, promising Spring and warmer days ahead. The clouds were high and harmless in the sky, the temperature hovered around fifty degrees, and the breeze was light. Before she opened the door to her truck, she stopped once more to smell the air. Millie shut her eyes, facing the trees that lined the other side of the street. Inhaling, a few deep breaths, she analyzed what she could smell. Pine, Spruce, musky wet soil, pungent motor oil, the neighbor's maple syrup, and the sweet sharp scent of a mowed lawn. A smile spread across her face despite herself. Turning around, she climbed into her Bronco and headed out.
Beck was already there when she pulled off on the side of the road by the bridge. Millie hopped out and met him around the back of her car. In his hands he held a woven basket.
"Good morning, Millie." He greeted. "You look beautiful."
Millie's eyebrows hiked and she swallowed, pleasantly surprised. "Wooing already?"
"It's never to early," he smiled lightly. Beck looked at her like the world revolved around her, complete adoration.
"Good morning to you too then."
"Here take this," he handed her the basket and opened the trunk of her car.
"Help yourself," Millie teased with a laugh. He shot her a look and took the basket back, setting it down in the back before hopping up to sit. She followed closely, sitting next to him and trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. She was intensely aware of his proximity and the way his warm and earthy scent filled the entire car.
Beck opened the basket, pulling out two tinfoil wrapped sandwiches and handing her one.
"I brought coffee," Millie reached back and grabbed her thermos. "We'll have to share the mug, unless you brought your own."
"I told you I had this covered," Beck's lips quirked up slightly as he looked over at her, holding up his own thermos of coffee.
"I can't just be empty handed on our first date," Millie quipped.
"So this is a date?" Beck teased.
"Well, you're wooing me aren't you?" She answered boldly, meeting his gaze. She felt empowered with him, coming into her own.
"I suppose it is then."
Millie smiled down at her hands as she unwrapped the tinfoil to find a warm sandwich loaded with egg, bacon, and cheese. The smell was mouth watering. She lifted it to her mouth and took a bite, feeling his eyes on her face as she did. Her cheeks colored slightly but then the taste overtook anything else.
Millie hummed in appreciation, closing her eyes. "This is really good."
Beck just smiled and unwrapped his own. They divulged into small talk as they ate their sandwiches, discovering likes, dislikes, fears, and joys. He made her laugh and her cheeks color pink. She made his mouth twist into his signature half smile and his shoulders feel relieved of their weight. They were constantly touching somehow, addicted to the electricity. A small bump here or there, hands brushed in passing, eyes met and held. As the breakfast and coffee disappeared, they switched to more serious topics.
"So, you're in high school," Beck sighed, looking out at the bridge that hung stoic in the shadow of the clouds.
"I'm eighteen, if that's what your worried about," Millie said dryly, laughing a little.
Beck's cheeks colored and his eyes flipped to her quickly. "It was not," he said, almost a little defensive.
Millie grinned at him.
He rolled his eyes, but it was playful, and he had to admit he enjoyed her ability to banter with him. "I was meaning you must be a senior. Are you thinking of college?" The thought of her leaving to some distant campus made him sick enough. But he decided he would support her. She was his mate. He would do anything for her.
"Not really."
He was instantly relieved but refused to show it. "You don't like school?"
"No. I love to learn, but I don't learn as much there. And I don't know what I would study, nor do I have the cash." Beck admired her attitude about the whole thing. She was easygoing, accepting. But she was smart too.
"Is that the only reason you don't like school? Because you don't learn as much?"
Millie met his eyes, a small smirk on her lips. "No, I suppose not." She sighed a little and looked out at the bridge. She thought of how she passed out a few days prior and Eben Welch touching her hair. "I have never felt like I fit in. No matter where I go, and trust me I've been to a enough schools to know it. Now I guess, maybe I know why at least." Besides other more obvious reasons, she thought. Like being kidnapped as a little girl.
Beck nodded, not understanding but sympathizing, nonetheless. She liked that he listened and asked questions about her. But she wasn't ready to share everything yet. Millie wanted to know more about him and this life he was introducing her to.
"Where do we go from here, Beck?" Millie asked suddenly, her brows pinched together, worried.
"I've been asking myself the same thing," Beck responded.
"I'm a human. You're a...wolf. I might be like you, but I'm not, not really anyway. I don't know how to do this."
"It's okay, Millie." His hand found hers subconsciously and she filled with butterflies. "I'm here to help you figure it out. The situation isn't ideal, but I am with you."
"I don't know how to do this," she repeated softly.
"Do you want to trust me?"
"My gut says yes." Millie smiled sheepishly.
"Then trust me. I'll get you through this. We'll find out what happened together. You have a family with me regardless, okay? You're a wolf too, and wolves need a pack." Beck squeezed her fingers reassuringly as she stared up at him.
"Thank you," she whispered, astounded by his genuine kindness.
Beck just smiled at her without teeth. They continued to hold one another's hands as the peaceful silence drug on for a few beats. She realized she liked to touch him. The feeling of his skin on hers warmed her to her core. And it appeared he didn't mind it so much either. He was addictive. The mate bond could be thanked for that, she supposed.
"We'll start with baby steps, Millie. First, you learn the basics of shifting wolves. Then, you can meet our pack. After that, we unravel your mystery. And somewhere in there, we will figure out if you can shift." The man exuded so much confidence and was entirely sure of who and where he was. She found it extremely attractive, but also comforting. She knew in her heart that he could guide her in a way that no one else could. "How does that sound?"
Millie realized she was staring up into his stormy gray eyes. "Sounds like a plan."
The two continued to talk for a while and neither wanted to call it a day. But alas, Beck had to return to the pack and Millie had to run some errands in town. The large male crouched out from the back of the truck and stood near the bumper as Millie scooted to the edge.
"Do you walk here?" Millie asked, scanning the dark woods and imagining him strolling through the trees.
"I run," he grinned boyishly, causing Millie to roll her eyes playfully.
Beck began to step away and give her room to get out so she followed him closely, grabbing his wrist gently in her fingers as she stood before him. She watched the column of his throat bob as he swallowed thickly. Nostrils flared, taking in her scent once again. Nearly chest to chest, she peered up into his eyes, he was so much taller than her.
"Thank you for the yummy breakfast," Millie smiled gently.
"My pleasure," he looked back down at her and found himself marveling at the depth of her brown eyes. She was beyond beautiful to him, perfect even.
Millie continued to hold his wrist, enjoying the heat of his skin. She smiled up at him coyly before murmuring, "Won't you kiss me now?" Maybe it was early, too early even. But she hated wasting time, and she refused to waste it with this man who was supposedly her other half. Not when she wasn't sure how long her heart had left. But she sure enjoyed the shock on his face at her words.
The gray of his irises sparkled when his eyes went round. She had surprised him when nearly nothing else could. But he didn't waste any time either. His hands slid up her arms to rest his thumbs on her cheeks and his palms on either side of her slender neck in an almost possessive manner. Goosebumps raised across her skin as his warm breath fanned across her face. Her eyes fluttered shut as his face dipped to hers and their lips pressed together. He tasted like coffee and the forest, making her mouth water and her head spin. At first it was a simple kiss, but then Millie raised onto her tip toes and pulled him deeper into her. Lips parting, she allowed her tongue to trace his lower lip before he granted her the access she desired. They fought for dominance and he was impressed by her strength. A low growl escaped his throat, causing a delighted shiver to roll up her spine and their kiss to quicken in pace. Eventually they had to break apart, panting as they did.
"I told you," Millie said breathlessly, her heart pounding in her chest.
"Efficient," Beck guessed with a smile as he pressed his forehead to hers. Millie just laughed, enjoying their position. "You're something else. You know that?"
"Still considering me to be your mate?" She questioned teasingly, slightly unnerved by how comfortable with him she was.
"I wouldn't have anyone else." He stated in a way so concrete, any insecurity she might have had about the pairing was quickly erased. Millie laughed to ease her nerves and pushed his chest gently to provide some space between them so she could breathe. Surprisingly, he let her and took a step back.
"Do you have a cell phone?" She asked suddenly.
Slowly, Beck nodded and watched as she held out her hand palm up. It took him a second, but he pulled out an old heavy flip phone and set it in her hand. Millie snatched it up.
"Jesus, this is a dinosaur." She flipped it open and added her number into its brain. "I had one in middle school, it literally combusted by the time I turned fifteen."
"Don't hate," he couldn't help but laugh. Phones were nearly useless though as a wolf. They were only used to connect with other packs or maintain human relations. With the mind link capabilities wolves shared within packs, there was no need for texting or calling. Beck explained this to her, watching her eyes go round as she stared up at him and handed his device back.
"That's crazy," she responded and Beck just shrugged. "Well, since I am only wolf by smell it appears, I'll stick to texting you. Hopefully you don't have a limit."
He did, but he made a mental note to increase it.
"I like you, Beck." She said, feeling braver by the second.
"I like you too, Millie." He responded with a small smirk. They held each other's gazes for a moment and then quickly embraced and pressed their lips to one another again. It was an unspoken, needing gesture that filled both of them with wanting. When they broke apart the second time, they were panting. Beck held her forearms, steadying her. Millie's hands were resting on his chest.
They parted ways not long after, but he followed Millie in her thoughts. The realization dawned on her that she was never going to shake him. Warmth and longing filled her to the brim, and the feeling of a tether tying her to the man. She felt it pull taut the further she drove away. It scared her, but she welcomed the fear. Fear meant she was feeling something. And she had been numb for way too long.
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Beck shifted and ran back home once Millie's Bronco was out of sight. The taste of her was still on his lips. Cinnamon and spice. Greedily, he wanted more. Rationally, he urged himself to wait. But the wolf in him was desperate, and fighting back his instincts was becoming harder than he anticipated.
Won't you kiss me? He groaned at the memory, replaying it over and over in his head. Her doe brown eyes staring up at him with a teasing grin on her mouth. I like you, Beck.
Beck decided he was one lucky fucking wolf.
Once he was back at his cabin, he quickly changed and headed down to the hub of the pack. A long cabin that was used for gatherings when it was cold, music, festivals, potlucks, ceremonies, and more. On most Saturday afternoons, the pack liked to gather there to make art, eat food, trade goods, and socialize. They weren't the most primitive pack, but they held tight to their traditions and any family ties they had left. When they were nearly wiped out, they realized the importance of remembering who and what they had lost.
Inside, he found Kristen working on school at one of the long benched tables. Carter was across the hall helping young pups with oil painting. Amira was serving snacks at one of the tables at the back. His pack milled around and he found himself judging their affects. He wondered if they were happy and satisfied. Beck worried over them constantly. Since the attack, he had never felt truly rested or relaxed.
As Beck looked over the room he wished Millie was there. He looked forward to the day he could bring her to these Saturday gatherings.
"Alpha," Yukon, one of his enforcers and the head of his border patrol approached him from the left and rested a hand on his shoulder. The man was tall, nearly eye to eye with Beck, and had a head of dark black ringlets that was often tied back in a bun. He had came to their pack after a war had left his own nearly decimated. By chance, his mate happened to be a warrior for Beck named Hayley and she had urged him to come home with her. "It's good to see you."
"You as well, Yukon," Beck smiled at him, clapping him good naturedly on the back. "How was your run this morning?"
"Good, thanks for asking." Yukon was a young guy, not much past twenty-five winters. He was especially jovial for someone with such an intense job.
Beck looked over at him, his eyes rolling over his tan face. His brow furrowed and he smiled very slightly. "You got something to share?"
Yukon laughed, a loud and boisterous sound that echoed over the hall. "You can read us like a book." He shook his head with a smile. "Yeah, well, I have something to ask you. But it kind of gives it away."
Beck nodded, turning to him and waiting for the news.
"I was wondering if you could help me add on a room to our cabin. You do such good work, Hayley was obsessed with the kitchen you did for Garrett and Sawyer. If you would be willing, we would be so grateful." Yukon smiled.
"What's this room for?" Beck narrowed his eyes knowingly.
"Like you couldn't guess," Yukon laughed. "We want to add a nursery. We're going to try this solstice. I think we're finally ready to start our family."
"Congratulations!" Beck smiled wide and grasped Yukon's forearm in a gesture of respect. "Of course I can help you build. It would be my pleasure."
"Thank you, Alpha. We really appreciate it. Oh, Hayley is going to be over the moon." His gratitude was palpable in the air and his dark eyes beamed with happiness. With one more clasp to Beck's shoulder, he sauntered off to find his mate and bear the good news. Beck found Yukon's happiness to be contagious. In fact, he caught himself thinking of a day when him and Millie would be planning to make a den for their pup. He shook himself out of it after a moment, reminding himself of baby steps.
Beck spent the next hour wandering the long cabin, speaking with his pack members and helping out with random tasks. Young males stopped him for advice and jokes that made him smile. He watched the young females practice braiding each other's hair back into tight arrangements meant for war, they weren't allowed to fight yet, but one day many of them would join their mothers in the elite training group his own mother had once started. Pups danced around him and tugged at his pant legs. Elderly wolves approached him and sat him to talk. It was an eventful and exhausting afternoon. And his day was barely half over.
After the gathering, the pack grouped up for their weekly run together. It was a time for them to bond in their fur and trot the perimeter as a unit. The run took about an hour and by the end of it, the pack was hungry and tired, dispersing to their own cabins as the evening air began to chill.
Beck didn't shift back until he was at his back door. The cabin was empty, but he knew it likely wouldn't be for long. Carter and Kristen would soon be over, followed by Yukon and a few of their other warriors, border patrol, and strategists. They weren't planning to attack anyone, but Beck liked to run a tight ship. He wouldn't let his pack fall like they had once before. Protecting his pack and their land was a deal bigger than his own life, it was something he took critically serious. The stress of it weighed on him daily. But the reminder of his family's corpses scattered and burning across their land was haunting and all too vivid.
Inside the cabin, he pulled on some canvas pants and a tight fitting tee. As he walked into the kitchen to grab some water, his eyes trailed over to his phone that sat unattended by the sink where he had left it earlier. Beck gulped down a glass of water and glanced at the time. Now was as good as any to text her, he figured. She hadn't left his mind all day. Longer than that. Millie hadn't left his mind since he met her. Her large doe brown eyes were ingrained into his memory. And now, the feeling of her lips on his; full, tender, soft, and so warm.
Beck picked up his phone and flipped it open. His fingers hovered over the keys for a long time as he stared down at her number. Finally he took a breath and began to type. His large fingers, though deft, had a hard time punching in exactly what he wanted to say without typos.
thnking of u.
It wasn't the most poetic thing he had ever said. But it would have to do. He had a strange feeling that it would be more than enough for his mate. Beck set his phone back down, staring at it as if he had just set a bomb. And then barely two minutes later it buzzed and the tiny screen lit up. Her number flashed across the front. She was calling him. A shiver of excitement ran through him and he hurried to snatch the device up. In the back of his mind, Beck wanted to laugh at himself. He wasn't a man who hurried over a female, he wasn't one who felt anxious about what he was saying or the impression he would make. But here he was, feeling like a juvenile who just had his first kiss. It could be worse, he supposed.
"Hello?" Beck answered the phone, his voice a little deeper and hoarser from his recent shift.
"It's funny you texted me," Millie's smoky voice came through the speaker and rolled a shiver down his spine.
"Funny?" He asked, a smirk twisting his lips.
"Yeah. I had just been thinking about you, actually."
"Interesting," he chuckled, dragging his toe across the kitchen tile absentmindedly. He was grinning like a fool. "Hopefully good thoughts?"
Millie laughed, "You could say that." Beck's cheeks burned at her teasing tone. "I hope it's okay that I'm calling."
"More than okay, Millie. You can call me anytime. For whatever you need."
The smile was evident in her voice, "Okay. Well I just wanted to tell you that I've been thinking a lot about all this. Pretty much nonstop. And when I see you again, I'll give you my story." Her voice lowered and her sudden seriousness made his shoulders tense.
"Alright," he responded calmly. "Is everything okay?"
"No," She said honestly and Beck found himself biting his cheek in unease. "But I'll explain everything."
"Did something happen, Millie?" He asked, his fist clenched.
"Well," Millie paused, as if mulling over her response. "Yeah. But I'll explain."
"Come over tomorrow. I'll make you dinner."
"Okay, I will." Millie said and he knew her smile was back. "I'll see you tomorrow, cutie."
Beck's cheeks burned hot once again and he cleared his throat, "Have a good night, Millie."
They hung up and Beck set his phone back down where it had been when he came in. Her words filled him with unease and he realized he had no idea what she was going to tell him tomorrow.
The sound of the front door opening tore Beck from his thoughts. Kristen walked in, followed by Carter and his mate Andrew. The four greeted each other settled down in the den. The rest would arrive soon after, but for the time being the core of the group relaxed back in their seats.
"How's paradise?" Kristen grinned at Beck.
Beck rolled his eyes but couldn't stop the smile from his face. "Good. She's coming over tomorrow."
Carter choked, "Here? Onto pack land?"
Beck nodded.
"I'll be damned," Kristen smiled. "But this is all still under wraps isn't it?"
Running a hand through his hair, Beck sighed softly. "Yes, for now. She's warming up to everything quickly, faster than I anticipated." He smiled a little, thinking of how easily she adapted. "I don't know how to do this. I've been googling how to date someone. It's just not...what I pictured."
Carter cackled and then smiled approvingly, "Sounds like you're doing just fine."
All three of the wolves and even Beck was surprised at how open and he light he was acting. Beck was typically a very stoic and reserved man. Millie had gotten through his armor without even trying.
"I wish you would have dated me a little more in our early stages," Andrew told Carter. "Sounds very romantic."
"Please, like back massages every night wasn't romance enough for you?" Carter retorted good naturedly, causing them to grin at each other.
Kristen just rolled her eyes, she had yet to find her mate but could seem to wait for the day. She had plenty of other goals in mind. "We'll make sure she makes it in without too much attention."
"I can't wait to meet our new Alpha Female," Carter said brightly.
Beck couldn't wait for Millie to meet the pack either, he couldn't wait for her to slip into his world and lead at his side. But her comment on the phone not even fifteen minutes prior had unnerved him. He worried for their future and the mysteries they would uncover. The whole situation was uncharted territory. Beck hardly knew where to start. The helpless feeling made him sick to his stomach.
The next hour was spent with the rest of the strategy crew, catching up and debriefing on the week. Beck enjoyed their company and the distraction, though his thoughts continuously meandered back to Millie and her lips and her voice calling him cutie.
Beck went to bed that night once again thinking of her and their future. But this time, his worries were eating away at the good things. He was eager to hear her story.
hey all... thanks so much for your patience with this update. i hope you liked it.
LS