The after-party isn't as exciting as I thought it was going to be.
It's just a bunch of celebrities drinking and talking. Making stupid jokes and keeping up appearances.
That's what I'm seeing, anyway.
And, getting high as well. I get this nasty feeling whenever I see some celebs disappear into a darker corner and come back with their pupils dilated while rubbing their noses.
Violet disappeared with Nick somewhere, I believe I saw them carrying a bunch of drinks with a mischievous smile on their faces.
And right now, Caleb is sporting the same smile as he leads me into the hallway.
"What's wrong?" I ask, and watch as he shows me a container with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.
"Just brownies."
"You brought me out here to eat just some brownies?"
"Not regular brownies, Ella."
My eyes widen with realization as my brain registers what he's trying to say. Then, I close my eyes.
"Oh, for fucks sake."
"Just once!" Caleb insists and opens the container. The scent of chocolate wafts in the air, along with a tinge of weed.
"You know I don't like to use drugs," I frown.
"Weed is... mild, I promise you. You'll get all happy and mellow, trust me."
"I can't believe you brought edibles to the fucking Grammys," I sigh and shake my head. "What's the point of getting high anyway?"
"It's funny! You'll be able to get your mind off of things and we can make fun of people and gossip. It'll feel like you're dreaming. I've done this before, so I'll be there right with you to guide you."
I glance down at the brownies and release a sigh.
Enjoy life to the fullest, Elena.
Together with Caleb, I secretly eat a brownie in the hallway. The taste of weed makes me scrunch my nose up a bit, but the strong taste of chocolate quickly overpowers it.
"I don't feel anything," I deadpan when I've finished it. "It was a small piece, will it do the job?" I frown.
Caleb throws his head back at my oblivion and laughs, before focusing his eyes on me again.
"It'll work in like an hour or so. Trust me, the little piece you ate will be more than enough."
When we enter the large room again, Caleb makes sure not to stray too far from me and keeps his eyes on me.
I'm gripping my glass of water tightly, waiting for the effect to hit even though it's been ten minutes.
"Your performance was amazing," Ren says as he walks up to me. I smile at his compliment.
"Thank you! I was nervous before getting on stage, but they went away as soon as I grabbed the mic."
"You captured everyone's attention up there, and the song was amazing."
I blush at his sweet words and don't know how to accept his compliment. I'm so bad at this.
"Such a shame you didn't sing. I love your music," is all I say instead, and he offers me a smile that has everyone swooning.
"You should come to one of my shows, then," he winks. I glance down at my drink with a shy smile.
We continue to talk for a bit when Dopamine enters the room, along with their guests for the night.
At this point, I'm not even surprised to see Maya tagging along, as well as the other friends who came to visit them.
I'm distracted when I see Kyle heading for me, and then I'm swooped in his embrace.
"You totally killed it, Ella!" he laughs and swirls me around, entangling us in my cape.
"Thank you," I giggle when he puts me back down.
"You did so good and it was so impressive," he grins proudly and leans down to whisper in my ear, "I'm totally loving the name-drop by the way. That was so badass."
"That obvious, huh?" I snort, but I don't care that people might suspect something is going on.
I got my feelings out there and it felt good. It was liberating.
Caleb casts Kyle a side-glance, and his eyes linger on the suit Kyle is wearing that's decorated with crystals.
"By the way, we're working on a song together one of these days. I even made sure that we have the equipment to record a song," Kyle tells me.
"You did?" I ask with widened eyes, and he nods. "Duh, I can't miss out on an opportunity to sing with you."
From behind him, I see a familiar figure walk across the room and duck behind Kyle to hide from Callie Falls.
I'm not going to meet her. Nope. No thanks.
I don't know why I'm scared to talk to her, given that I've looked up to her ever since I was a young teenager. But talking to her seems so scary and I just know I'd embarrass myself.
When she's moved to the other side of the room, I take a step back from Kyle and introduce him to Ren, but they already know each other from the big screen and have talked to each other online.
They start to talk about the performances tonight and everything that happened during the Grammys.
A familiar song that's playing in the background catches my attention. It's a song of Dopamine.
Called My Aphrodite.
My heart clenches together at the memory of Ares once telling me how his Aphrodite slipped away from him.
His Aphrodite is Maya.
"I don't see any memories
in your eyes
every time I look at you
and then I wonder
if that fateful night
was just like another one for you
because it was the night of my life
where everything got ruined
and where everything made
so much fucking sense
but then as soon as the euphoria
took place
it went away as soon as I crashed back
because when I gazed into the eyes
of my Aphrodite
I knew I was done for
you lured me in with your smile
my little Aphrodite
the one buried in my memories for so long
for such a long time
I couldn't not think about you
you are burned into my skin
my Aphrodite
you put a spell on me
and now I can't get you out of my mind"
Each word feels like a stab to the heart, knowing how smitten he was with Maya, and maybe still is.
Another forty minutes pass where I'm in a conversation with Kyle and Ren when I suddenly feel the need to laugh.
I've been watching Kyle talk, and I don't know why it's so fucking funny to me.
"What's wrong?" Kyle frowns when a snort leaves me. I look at him with wide eyes and shrug. "I have no idea," I giggle.
I try to compose myself, but another laugh leaves me. "I really have no idea," I repeat and straighten up a bit.
Caleb's head whips around, and when our eyes meet, a slow smile spreads itself on his face.
"Ella!" he yells and marches over to me, taking my hands in his. "I think you're feeling it," he grins.
"Am I?" I whisper loudly and start to giggle once again. "I just want to laugh!"
"What's going on?" Ren frowns, and Kyle mirrors his expression.
"Caleb and I ate some really good brownies," I admit lowly and smile. "It feels so funny!"
Ren looks at me with an amused smile, while Kyle sends Caleb a murderous look. "You gave her fucking weed brownies, Caleb? Really?"
Caleb all but shrugs. "We want to have a good time, don't we, Ella?"
"Totally agreed," I say and nod. My throat feels dry, so I excuse myself from the three men and head for the mini-fridges.
Opening one of them, I take out a bottle of water. My throat feels drier than the Sahara Desert.
"Elena, isn't it?"
The world feels slow when I turn my head.
This shit is good.
It's like a cloud has formed itself around me and I'm just floating in the air. Everything is heightened and I'm aware of all the nerves in my body.
In the middle of the fog, I spot Maya standing beside me, and our eyes meet.
I've got to admit that her eyes are pretty. A light blue, and with purple specks in it.
Life is so not fair.
"Elena, yes," I answer, trying to appear as calm as possible. Seeing her has soured my mood, and now with the weed doing its work, every emotion hits me like a train and is multiplied by a thousand.
"Who's asking?" I ask and look down at her, taking advantage of the fact that I'm in heels.
"I am," she says. "I'm Maya..."
"I know who you are," I cut her off, proud of myself for maintaining my resting bitch face. "You're..." a sight for sore eyes.
"...never mind. Why'd you come over?" I ask and take a sip of my water, reveling in the coldness sliding down my throat and soothing me a bit.
"To come and see you for myself."
And it's then that I see it in her eyes. Questions. A hint of jealousy, but not too much.
She sees me as competition.
Oh honey, she's already won.
"Well..." I trail off, "you've seen me. Goodbye."
With that, I turn around and leave, not impressed by my first talk with her.
Just get to the fucking point, for fucks sake.
As I'm making my way over towards Kyle, it's then that I notice another familiar song playing in the background.
There's a group of people gathered with Caleb, who's singing along to the lyrics of the song we both know so well.
It's a party as they all sing along with smiles on their faces. Caleb is someone who is charismatic and can make anyone do anything.
When our eyes meet, he points toward me and I know we're about to duet in this song.
"Well, maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much. But maybe this thing was a masterpiece, till you tore it all up. Runnin' scared, I was there, I remember it all too well."
Now, we're all shouting along with the song, the whole room yelling at the top of their lungs as the life of the party swoops me in his arms.
I see Ren and Kyle whistle for me as I sing the next part, channeling my inner diva as I sing along and being proud of my voice.
"And you call me up again just to break me like a promise. So casually cruel, in the name of being honest. I'm a crumpled-up piece of paper lying here, 'cause I remember it all, all, all."
Caleb twirls me around and I end up in the arms of Kyle, who bends me over his arm. I giggle and can't stop doing that.
I feel like I can do everything super-fast, but everything moves super slow as well.
I keep on being twirled around in people's arms, and others have joined. Other people are singing and dancing with each other.
Two hands grip my waist, steadying me and instead of twirling me around, they hold me in place.
My smile dies on my lips when my eyes connect with Ares', who looks down at me with an inspecting look on his face.
"They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new hell every time, you double-cross my mind," I continue to sing, acting unbothered while I'm everything but.
"What's up with you?" he asks after staring into my eyes for a bit too long.
"Nothing," I shrug and frown, "and I told you not to speak to me again. Let go of me."
In the midst of all the partying going on, Ares pulls me into the hallway where it's fresher. I inhale deeply and let my head rest against the wall as I catch my breath.
I feel tired, and yet I feel so relaxed and mellow... and hungry.
In the bright light of the hallway, Ares looks into my eyes and narrows his.
"Have you taken anything?"
"Why is that any of your concern?"
"Butterfly, just answer me."
"And don't fucking call me butterfly!" I yell. He furrows his eyebrows in confusion.
The feeling of sadness overwhelms me, and I hate the tears springing to my eyes at the intense emotion taking over me.
"It's a fucking insult and I don't appreciate it. Fuck you. Go back to your... fucking Amethyst or whatever. Stay away from me, I'm so tired of you."
"Asteráki," Ares begins, but I shake my head, having none of it.
"What the fuck does that even mean?"
Ares takes both of my cheeks in his large hands, leaning his forehead against mine.
"Little star," he rasps out, "it means little star."
"And what's the insult behind that one?" I ask, drained from everything. All he does is shake his head.
At this moment, with our foreheads pressed together and us breathing each other in, I crumble in his touch and feel the tears prickling my eyes.
"You spent the night with her," I bring out in a broken whisper and feel the remaining pieces of my heart, clench together in agony.
"And what if I did?" he asks and rubs his thumbs over my cheeks, "we're not exclusive."
Right, all we did was fuck.
"You're right," I agree and put my hands on his chest, pushing him away and meeting his eyes.
"Since what happened between us was a mistake, I'll go find someone who'll do a better job of fucking me," I tell him with a sweet smile and step away from the wall, "someone who won't consider it a mistake afterward."
I start walking back to the party and enter, getting swallowed in the heat and the swarm of people all over again.
I did not find anyone to fuck me.
That's the first thing I think about when I wake up the next morning, in my own hotel room – alone.
Caleb told me that eating an edible would be fun.
He didn't tell me you could be hungover from an edible.
"Fucking hell," I groan and massage my temples in an attempt to soothe the headache. I feel sore all over my body and my mind is still in some sort of fog.
I remember partying with Caleb, Violet, and Nick. I danced together with Ren, but he stayed respectful and didn't make any inappropriate moves.
He did give me his number.
After the party, we all went back to our hotels and sat outside in the hallway, just being a vibe together.
Vi was surprised to know that I ate weed brownies but told me she was impressed.
After that, we all went to bed and I fell asleep instantly.
Reaching over for my phone on the nightstand, I turn it on and my eyes widen as I see all the notifications pop up.
Twitter is the first place I go to and I gasp for air as videos of me performing Only Mine appear.
Fans are losing their shit over this and I see multiple captions pop up.
If this isn't a sign that there's something going on, idk shit anymore
Ares and Ella have been spotted together and now this? I think they did it, but I just can't prove it
Did I miss out on something? Since when is Ella Robertson in love with Ares?
Aside from everything happening, Ella looked stunning ASF yesterday
Ella and Violet looked like queens yesterday
'I STILL CRAVE YOUR DOPAMINE' ?????? ELLA??? U OKAY???
"Fucking hell," I whisper and go on Tiktok, where I'm faced with my own face as I stand on stage.
Video after video, I only hear one specific sound.
"I still crave
your dopamine
after all this time"
And then a few fans are coming up with theories or trying to dissect every lyric.
A notification pops up at the top of the screen, and I see Violet has sent a link from YouTube, with Ares in the thumbnail as he's being interviewed.
Clicking on the video, I see Ares standing with an interviewer on the red carpet as she asks him questions about what he's wearing, his thoughts on tonight, and if they're going to win a Grammy or not.
Halfway through the video, Ares is answering a question when he trails off and something catches his eye further down the red carpet.
He just stops talking, clearly distracted and his mind elsewhere.
The interviewer follows his gaze and the camera moves as well to see what he's looking at.
And it's at that moment that I come on the carpet with the others to have our picture taken. I'm walking at the front with Caleb, and it's clear who he's looking at.
Red paints my cheeks as I watch him watch me.
"What a sight for sore eyes she is, huh?" the interviewer asks, and Ares nods distractedly with an approving hum.
"That she is."
. . .
How we feeling?
I'm a sucker for Ares, so eh.
This chapter was VERY chaotic to write.
Moving on... aren't I the best?
I'm putting effort in for you guys now that I have time for them updates.
This random guy hmu on snap when I've never even talked to him before? I don't even know who he is lmao what is he doing talking to me?
ALSO OMG, I found out that one of my good friends had a crush on me, WHY AM I SO OBLIVIOUS TO THESE THINGS IRL?
I need a summer crush to occupy me, ffs.
And Harry Styles is not doing it for me. Even though I've read so many fanfics.
Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed the chapter.
I love you.