I came to Remi's house after work. Danny had asked to grab an early bite, but after last night's ordeal with Nico, the only person I want to talk to right now is my bestie. I know that Danny was onto the fact that something was bothering me, but he didn't press me for details, which I respect.
One of the many reasons why I love Remi is because she knows exactly what to do and say when I'm not in the best of moods. Like right now. We're sitting in her den, with our feet up on the couch, snacking on junk food. Remi assembled an entire platter of my favorite chocolates, cookies, and ice cream, and I was just in the middle of asking Remi what I should do about Danny.
"Well, what do you want to do?" she asks me, and that's Remi for you. She always turns the question back to me. She'll never tell me what she thinks I should do until I answer first. Then she'll give her input.
"I really like him, and I enjoy his company," I say, as I scrape the carton of cookies and cream ice cream with my spoon. "I want to keep seeing him. But when I'm around Nico, I question everything in my life that doesn't involve him."
"Yeah, and that's not healthy," Remi says. "Look, this is what I think. I think you made your intentions to Nico very clear. How he wants to interpret that is up to him. Your life is yours, B. It's one thing to be there for someone else, but when that jeopardizes your well-being, it starts to become a problem. Your whole life, you've made Nico your entire world, but your entire world can't revolve around one person."
"Why not, Rem?"
Remi's eyes widen at me and she lifts her palms in the air. "Do you hear yourself, B?"
I smack my head down into the pillow that's on my lap. "Ugh, I know! I sound ridiculous. I'm just trying to justify my emotions."
"I get that, but you're missing the point."
"What is the point, Rem?"
"The point is: Nico is not dependable. I don't understand, B. How can you love someone you can't trust fully? Or, let me ask you this, why would you want to give your heart to someone who won't give it back to you the way that you deserve?"
***
Hanging with Remi earlier today was just what I needed. She asked me some tough questions, but they really got me thinking. At the end of the day, I made a decision. A decision that involves moving on from Nico and towards a new experience.
When it comes to Nico, what I've learned is that it has to be all or nothing. A taste of Nico is never just a taste. It's a full course meal. That's why I have to go to extremes with him. It has to be one way or the other.
I love him with everything in me. And if it was possible, more than that. But it's like Remi said, that's not healthy. And it's interfering with my well-being.
I dial Danny, and he picks up on the third ring. "Hey!"
"Hi!" I say. "You busy?"
"Not at all. What's going on?"
"I wanted to ask you something. I know it's a few weeks from now, but what does your schedule look like on August 29th?"
"August 29th?" he repeats. "I think it's clear. Hold on a second while I check my calendar."
I hear scrambling on the other end of the phone, until Danny gets back to me a few seconds later. "Yup, it's all clear."
"Great! I was wondering if you would be my date to the Wilmington Summer Dance? No pressure, of course!"
Danny doesn't even wait a second. "Are you kidding? I'd be honored!"
"Really?" I exclaim, but excitedly.
"Of course."
Even though he can't see me, I'm smiling through the phone. "Awesome. Thank you."
"No, thank you. I'm very excited. And I feel very lucky."
"I'm the lucky one, Danny. You're a great guy."
After hanging up the phone with Danny, I felt more motivation to find myself something to wear to the dance. Sure, I'm mad that the dress from Milly's didn't work out, but hey, you can't have it all. I'm optimistic that I'll find something just as beautiful. But most importantly, something that will make me feel just as beautiful.
I order a few gowns online, hoping that one of the five dresses will look good on me. Once I'm done with that, I set my laptop to the side.
"Knock, knock," mom peeks her head through my bedroom door and says. "Can I come in?"
"Of course." I watch her walk in, and she's dressed really nicely. Like red dress, shawl, heels, kind of nice. And her hair's pinned up. "You look fancy."
She pats the back of her bun and sits down on my bed. "I'm going out tonight."
"With Adam?"
"With Adam!"
"Very nice," I smile. "Where's he taking you?"
"He won't tell me!" mom says, but by the excited look on her face, I don't think that she cares - despite the fact that she hates surprises.
"I'm sure it's going to be so much fun...whatever it is."
"Me, too. I'm not sure what time I'll be home, and Grandma Ruby is heading out soon on that over-night trip with her friends, so you're home alone tonight. Is that okay?"
I forgot about Grandma Ruby's girls' trip. It happens every summer, but each year they pick a different town to visit.
"Totally. Maybe I'll invite Remi over."
"That's a good idea. I don't want you home alone." She presses a kiss to the top of my forehead before standing up. "I have my cell if you need anything."
"I'll be fine, mom. Have fun, and tell Adam I say hi."
"I will," she says before leaving my room.
I whip out my cell and text Remi to come over. I should've expected her text back:
Remi: Free house?! You know what that means...
Me: ...No?
Remi: 2 words: House. Party.