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| King of Hearts |
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By: Janae Destiny
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They didn't talk much during the drive. Music was quietly playing in Monie's car, occupying the silence between them. Kiara had about a million questions she wanted to ask at that moment. There was so much more she wanted to know about Monie and her story, but of course, she didn't push her to talk about anything she wasn't yet comfortable with.
"Does your head feel any better?" Kiara asked after a few minutes of neither of them saying anything.
"A little bit," Monie whispered. "I think I'm just tired because I ain't really been sleeping. I just feel kinda... burnt out."
"Is there anything I can do to help you?"
"I wanna say yes, I really do. But I don't think so. I don't think there's anything anyone can do. I just need to get home to my brother," she bit down on her thumb's long acrylic nail. "I just needa see Marco."
"You worried about him?"
"I'm always worried about him."
"He's a good kid though."
"He's an amazing kid. But he only has three years left of high school. He can get an athletic scholarship if he pushes himself enough. He has the potential to be something amazing. That's why I'm forced to always act like I've got my shit together. Marco and Ava need me to take care of them. I'm all they have, and I'm just tryna set them up as best as I can so they ain't gotta struggle the same way I have."
'And who has been there to take care of Monique this whole time...?'
Kiara wanted to ask her that question so bad but figured they'd gotten deep enough for the night without reminding Monie just how alone she's truly been while navigating both parenthood and young adulthood.
"But what about-" Kiara started but didn't finish.
"What about Ava's father? Is that what you're tryna ask me?"
"You don't have to answer that. It's none of my business."
"We're not together anymore. Obviously," Monie answered anyway. "He was never really around much in the first place. He was always more worried about controlling me than actually taking care of his daughter. I got sick of his shit, and now here I am. He's a big part of the reason I moved here. That, and... I don't know. It's just not a lot of good memories associated with Chicago. I needed a fresh start."
"Well I think you're in the perfect place for that. There's no better place to start over than Miami. People come here to reinvent themselves all the time."
"I'm not really trying to reinvent myself. I'm just trying to find myself. I'm tryna figure out who the fuck Monique Heart is. Cause the person I was in Chicago wasn't the real me. Honestly, I'm not sure who the real me is."
"It's okay to not have everything figured out, Monie. You're only 22, you've got plenty of time."
"I feel like that's true. But it felt like I was 18 and graduating high school just yesterday. Now I'm a 22 year old single mother with absolutely no direction in life."
"That's not true. You said you wanted to go back to school. You want to be a nurse practitioner. That's a direction. That's a plan."
"Yeah," Monie laughed. "A plan is usually followed by actions. And I'm just not sure being an NP is very practical for my life right now. There's a reason I stopped going to school. It was too expensive, and then tryna juggle school and two kids became too much for me to handle."
Monie looked down when her phone began vibrating in her lap. She saw that it was an unknown number calling, so she didn't answer it. And not even a minute after it stopped ringing, a message popped up on her phone that read: Hey girl, it's CeCe :) Just checking in like I said I would. I'm not sure if you're still feeling sick, but still make sure you stay hydrated and get lots of rest. Text or call me back when you can. And get better soon!
Monie was about to reply when she got another message, this one a picture with the caption, 'And use this for my contact.'
It was a picture of her in a baby pink dress, her makeup was very light and natural, her hair was in two long ponytails, and her brown skin was glowing from whatever body lava/shimmer she had used that day.
"Is that Cecelia?" Kiara asked because she could see the picture out of the corner of her eye as she drove.
"Yeah," Monie nodded her head after sending a quick reply to the girl's message. "I left the club early because I wasn't feeling well, and she's just checking up on me like she told me she would."
"Yeah, that sounds like her. She's the sweetest girl you'll ever meet. Everyone loves Cecelia."
"Thought you don't talk to none of the dancers?"
"Not like that, but I am their boss. I talk to them, just not that much. I let Chantal deal with they asses cause a lot of them be on some bullshit that I just don't have the patience for."
"What about that one girl, Jade? Do you talk to her?"
"Jade..." Kiara's mood visibly changed at the mention of the girl's name. "I'm not her biggest fan, but I keep her around because she brings a lot of attention to the club. Niggas love her."
The conversation then switched from Monie to Kiara, and she was glad because she was tired of talking about herself. Monie purposely kept the conversation centered around Kiara and her life until they made it back to the condo.
"Monique!" Marco shot up off of the couch and rushed towards his sister the second she walked through the front door.
"I'm here baby boy," Monie immediately dropped her duffel bag down on the floor and walked towards her brother with her arms open wide. And because he's taller than Monie, Marco was slightly bent over so his head was resting comfortingly on his sister's chest as they hugged.
"Monie..." he whispered into their embrace. And even with his head pressed tightly against her chest, it was more than obvious he had started crying the second she wrapped her arms around him. She didn't say anything about it, she just held the boy even tighter to her, hoping and praying there was anything she could do to make his pain go away.
Marco held onto his sister for dear life. He clung onto her as if she would disappear had he not been holding her as tight as humanly possible.
"Everything is gonna be fine, baby boy... we're gonna be okay," Monie whispered into their embrace. "We're gonna be okay, Marco," she repeated once more. Because maybe the more she says it, the more likely it is to be true.
Kiara awkwardly stood off to the side because she wasn't sure what to do or say. And after a few moments of watching the sister and brother's very emotional embrace, Kiara decided to pick up Monie's duffel bag from the floor and take it to her room to give them some time to talk alone.
"Do you finally wanna talk about it?" Monie asked when Marco calmed down a bit and his breathing began to level out once again. He was still crying, they both were, but it wasn't so bad. "The dream you've been having that keeps you awake at night?"
Every time Monie asks, Marco tells her no. He's never comfortable enough to actually tell anyone what the dream is about. But he figured he was ready to finally talk about it. Because after all, if he can't talk to Monie about it, then who can he open up to?
"It's not a dream. Monie, it's a fucking nightmare," he pulled away from her embrace and more tears flowed from his already puffy, red eyes. "It's like I was there when it happened. Like they got gunned down right in front of me. There's... so much blood," his voice began to tremble towards the end. "And screaming. And... crying."
Monie swallowed hard as she listened to her brother speak. It was just as hard for her to hear as it was for Marco to finally be talking about it.
"I wasn't even there. I've only ever seen the public news reports. But the dreams I have... Monique, they're so real. And usually sleeping near you or Ava helps, but, I don't know. It was bad tonight. It always gets real bad around the anniversary of their death."
"I know. Cause it's been hard for me too," she held onto one of his hands with both of hers.
"I just wish they was still here, mommy and daddy," Marco sniffled.
"I know baby boy, but we just gotta keep making the best of what we were given. Mom and dad would want that."
"It just ain't fair. None of this shit is fair."
"Come here, baby," Monie just pulled him into another tight hug because she wasn't sure what else to say or do to make him feel better.
About thirty minutes later, Monie was walking into her room and Kiara was there, just sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Is Marco okay?" She asked.
"He will be," Monie nodded her head. "At least I hope so. It's just... a hard time for us right now is all."
"Where is he?"
"He chose to sleep on the chair in Ava's room. I stayed in there with them until he fell asleep. But uh... it's been a long day. I'm gonna go take a shower."
"Okay," Kiara nodded her head.
And she stayed in that same position on the bed the entire time Monie was in the bathroom.
"Oh, you're still here?" Monie was surprised to see Kiara still sitting in that same position when she got back to the room, now freshly showered and dressed for bed.
"That's surprising?"
"Well, you never did say you were staying. I figured you wouldn't want to stay after seeing just how much of a mess we really are."
"Everyone's family is a little bit of a mess. Nothing is ever perfect, Monique."
"That is true, but... I don't know," she crossed her arms over her body. "So... are you? Are you gonna stay?"
"Yeah. Come here."
Kiara held her hands out and Monie walked towards her. They both laid down in the bed, with Monie cuddled up against Kiara as she held her in her arms.
"Thank you for staying with me," Monie whispered against Kiara's chest.
"I don't mind," she responded as she gently rubbed on Monie's back. "I like being around you. A lot actually."
"I like being around you too, King."
"I can't believe we've only known each other a week," Kiara said in a very soft voice. "Maybe I'm just crazy, but it feels like so much longer than that."
"It does feel like we've known each other longer than just a week," Monie agreed. "But I've liked hanging out with you this past week. You've shown me that there's still good, genuine people in this world."
Kiara didn't verbally respond. She just pulled Monie closer to her, holding her even tighter than she was before. Not every moment needs to be filled with words, and she felt like that was one of them.
"Good night, King," Monie yawned into the palm of her hand.
"Good night, Monique," Kiara whispered back.
And for the first time in a very long time, Monie felt safe and secure in someone else's arms. She rested her head against Kiara's chest and listened to the calming, steady beat of her heart until she eventually drifted off to sleep.
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