Bre was a mess. She was seeing her therapist and taking medication, and she was feeling herself pulling out of the deep depression she had fallen into when Brad died, but she wasn't back to level yet. She wasn't sure she ever would be again, especially since Paige had presented her with the ultimatum. She only had two weeks after the holiday to tell her husband she had been cheating on him for almost nine years with his best friend.
So, the depression was getting better but the anxiety was getting worse. Bre had never understood anxiety, or even felt it, before she met Paige. She remembered clearly bouts of anxiety creeping in during Paige's pregnancy. Worrying, nagging jealousy, and fear about Paige's and Drew's health. Then when Paige got kidnapped, and Bre was minutes away from being in that situation herself, she had felt full blown anxiety. It continued when she found out she was wearing the ring Steve had proposed to Paige with.
She really, kind of, hated Paige now. She always had been jealous of her though she loved her. Now, she didn't feel much love. She didn't feel much anything except anger. She was really angry at Paige. Not only had Bre lost Brad but Paige was forcing her to lose her husband right after. Paige still had Rev, and if she didn't have Rev, she could easily take Steve back if she wanted him. Paige could have any man she wanted and she was being cruel.
Bre had never experienced that- men wanting her. Brad had treated Bre like no one ever had. He talked to her like she was special, he treated her like she was worth his time and affection, he told her she was beautiful, he demonstrated that he was attracted to her, and he protected her. Brad increased her confidence and Bre had always felt like she could do anything with Brad's support behind her. Not that Steve didn't love her, but he wasn't Brad. He didn't pay attention to the details, the little things she needed that she wasn't even aware of herself. Steve sure paid attention to his Paigie's needs like that, though. Every man did.
She sighed, listening to her kids shrieking and running around downstairs. She wished she had a week to herself, even a day, just to process everything. Just to think.
Her sister, Bethany, and Bethany's younger daughter were coming to stay overnight so she could take Steve out for New Years with Kendra and Andy. One last night of fun before their marriage ended. Bethany's older daughter was watching Gi, Ava, Luca, and one of Luca's friends. Being that it would be overnight and that Henry was still little, Bre and Bethany both felt better about her staying at Bre's to help, just in case.
Bre had finally told her older sister, Brittany, about the situation she was in. Brittany was her closest sister and her friend. This was the first person she had talked to about it outside of Brad and Paige. Brittany was shocked, to put it mildly. She had been sobbing and kept saying, "I don't understand". Brittany felt that she should have told Steve right away and cut things off with Brad once her and Steve had resolved the ring issue. Brittany couldn't comprehend her continuing on for nine years and she had looked like she was going to throw up or pass out when she learned Charlie was Brad's.
Needless to say, it hadn't gone well, so Bre was worried about telling anyone else. Brittany had been keeping her distance since then. Bre would tell her parents or Bethany next.
She had borrowed a knee length black sequins dress with a v-neck and cap sleeves from her sister, Bailey. She had lost so much weight since Brad died, she didn't even look like herself. She wasn't working out and had lost all of her muscle tone. She didn't eat, couldn't remember to, until Steve said something, and then she did it simply so he wouldn't worry.
She decided on black and gold jewelry to go with it and set that out on her dresser before hearing a crash from downstairs.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying not to burst into tears as she heard, "Moooommmmmm!!!!!"
...........................................................................
Ip and I had opted for no drinks and an early bedtime because it was still raining and because he was worried about me getting sick. I did actually fall asleep fairly quickly by only allowing myself to think positive thoughts about the upcoming activity. I had been texting Lia and we planned to meet up at eight. Jose wasn't interested in going out this year, and Juan was going to be with his friends, so Ip and I were going to drive alone.
I had told him I'd pay for an Uber but he laughed at me.
"That's not really an option way out here", he had said.
I woke up fairly early and was happy to see the rain had stopped. It was still cloudy but at least it wouldn't be muddy.
I planned to help Ip with all of his chores, then shower after supper and start getting ready at that point.
I got dressed in jeans, black Converse, and a green t-shirt, pulled my hair into a ponytail, then helped Carmella with breakfast.
I was setting the table when Ip walked in. His face lit up when he saw me and he gave me his perfect grin. I felt my heart rate increase as I smiled back.
"You're up early", he commented.
"You made me go to bed early", I said. "What did you expect to happen?"
"I expected you to sleep in and get some extra rest so you're not tired for tonight".
"I'll be fine", I said.
"Hey", he said, catching my wrist as I turned to head back into the kitchen.
I looked up at him. He seemed a little concerned.
"I'm not trying to boss you around, but I would feel a lot better if you stayed in this morning. It's still damp and cold. I don't want you getting worn out or sick. I really want to have fun with you tonight. Please?"
My immediate response was to snap at him that I wasn't a child but something in the way he asked made me bite my tongue.
"Fine", I agreed. "I can make some calls instead. I'm going to get antsy sitting around all day, though".
"Just until lunch time", he said, blue eyes holding mine. "You can help after lunch".
"Okay".
"Thank you", he said, relief washing over his face and his perfect grin back in place. He quickly kissed my forehead then released my wrist and sat at the table.
Carmella gave me a knowing smile as I walked past her coming out of the kitchen.
...........................................................................
Rev woke up and tried calling Paige immediately after hitting the toilet. He hadn't tried her at all yesterday. Not only was he too busy coming up with a plan then briefing his team, Clint, and the local Captain, but he didn't feel like he could emotionally handle Paige yesterday if he wanted to focus on the mission.
She answered immediately, which was a good sign.
"Love", he said, shutting his eyes and taking a breath.
"Hey, Rev".
"How are you, sweetheart?"
"I'm okay. Are you?"
"Yeah, love. I'm all right, ain't I?"
"I figured you would be busy yesterday and today. You set for tonight?"
"Yeah. It was a fucking cluster but we've got it. Luke's good. He knows what he's doing. This local police Captain is a piece of work, though, ain't he?"
"I'm sorry, honey", she said quietly.
"You ready to go out tonight?", he asked.
"Yeah. I'm looking forward to it. It will keep my mind off worrying about you. Don't take unnecessary risks, okay?"
"Fuck that, love. Whatever it takes to get this guy. I'm ending this tonight, yeah?"
"Please be careful", she said. "I love you".
"Love you, too", he said. "You try and stay out of trouble for me, all right then?"
"I will. Can you text me and at least let me know that you're okay and you've got him? Just a thumbs up if nothing else?"
"Sure, love. I'll do that for you".
It was a good sign that she was worrying about him. Now he could maybe breathe a little easier about this Ip situation.
"Any more nightmares?", he asked.
"Nope".
"What did you do yesterday?"
"Took a run and napped".
"Sounds good, love. I want you to rest before going out tonight".
"That's what I'm doing", she said, sounding moderately annoyed. "I'm laying around all morning".
"I appreciate you taking care of yourself for me, sweetheart".
"I know", she said quietly.
...........................................................................
I hung up with Rev feeling worried and guilty. He had been working hard to finish my mission while I was spending time fooling around with my latest love interest. He was going to be risking his life tonight to complete that mission while my mission was trying to get Ip to kiss me.
I let Rev think I was taking care of myself because he had asked me to before I got to the ranch, but I was really only resting today because Ip had asked me to this morning. I was fairly certain I was an awful person.
God, please do not let anything happen to Rev tonight. If he gets hurt or dies while I'm out having fun with Ip, I don't know how I can survive that. The only reason I'm coping with Brad's death as well as I am is because of his cheating. Without that...and without Ip...I'd probably have been blackout drunk every day since I got grounded from the mission.
Since I was already feeling pretty shitty about myself, I decided it would be an excellent time to try calling Bre.
"What?", she answered on the third ring.
Wow. Bre had never been rude to me before, even when I deserved it.
"Hey, it's Paige. I was just checking in to see how you all-".
"I haven't told him yet", she cut me off with a snippy tone.
I could hear children playing in the background.
"Do you have a plan?", I asked.
"Not really, just to do it before you tell him yourself".
"I'm sorry, Bre", I said quietly, tearing up. I didn't want to push her but I really felt like this was the right thing.
"What exactly are you sorry about?", she snapped. "For cheating with my husband when we were engaged? For cheating on your own husband? Or for ruining my marriage months after I lost Brad, after you killed him, so that I will have no one!?"
I felt like she had slapped me. I couldn't breathe.
"You couldn't possibly understand", she continued. "It's so easy for you. Men adore you. You lost Brad but you still have Rev. If you didn't have Rev, you would have someone else. No one has ever treated me like Brad did, and now that's gone, and so is who I was when he was around. Soon I won't even have Steve".
"You don't know that-".
"You know him as well as I do. What's gonna happen?"
I teared up.
"He's going to be destroyed", I said honestly. "I think he will leave but he won't go far. The kids mean too much to him. I think he will come back to you but that might take some time".
"Exactly. In the meantime I'm a single mom. Fuck you, Paige. You couldn't possibly understand my life. You don't consider anyone but yourself. You didn't care about telling Steve when Brad was alive but now you do?"
"Bre, I-".
She hung up on me.
"What the FUCK?!?", I squeaked out.
I dropped my phone on the bed, started pacing and mildly hyperventilating as I tried to process what had happened.
Bre said fuck you. To me! She never swears! She hates me.
I knew I had never heard Bre say the f-word in any form, and she hardly ever swore at all. She was blaming me for everything. She even said it was my fault Brad was dead. Of course, she didn't know about the weapons deal or any of that, but still. That was pretty fucking harsh.
I paced and cried but refrained from hyperventilating.
I had to run or I was going to start drinking, which I couldn't do because I needed to be able to do that tonight.
I changed into black leggings and a sports bra, then pulled my green t-shirt back on. My running shoes were still wet from yesterday, which was gross, but no big deal.
I did sit ups, push ups, planks, and stretched on the rug in my bedroom, then started for the trail we ran on yesterday. Ip was correct. It was still a little chilly, nothing like December back home, though.
He was in one of the training rings astride a large black horse, weaving rapidly back and forth between a line of barrels.
Man, he was hot. Simply watching him uplifted my spirits a bit.
He glanced up, saw me watching him, and pulled the horse to a stop. He fluidly dismounted then vaulted over the fence like a professional gymnast, walking toward me with his cowboy swagger.
I waited for him.
"What's this about?", he asked, gesturing at the entirety of me with his hand and a raised eyebrow.
"I need to run", I said, my voice breaking on the word 'run'.
Fuck.
I dropped my head as I teared up.
"Did something happen?", he asked, putting a warm, comforting hand on my shoulder.
"It doesn't matter. I'll be fine after I run".
"It does matter. Talk to me", he said.
"We can talk later. You're busy".
He squeezed my shoulder and said nothing until I met his eyes. He seemed really worried.
"I am never too busy for you, Paige", he said sternly. "Never. There is nothing I do that could ever be more important than you. I have all the time you need. Let's go talk".
He swung a massive arm around me and started steering me toward the trail.
"But your horse-".
"He doesn't care and he will still be there when I get back".
I sighed.
"Okay, clue me in", he said once we were out of sight.
I stopped walking and teared up.
"I talked to Rev and Bre", I started.
A tear dripped down my cheek.
"Paige...", he simply said, wrapping his large arms around me.
He listened patiently as I explained against his chest why I was feeling guilty from talking to Rev and Bre.
"I understand what you're feeling with Rev", he said, "but I'm pretty confident he will be fine. He's a professional and he's Rev. He's going to finish that mission tonight".
I nodded against his chest.
"Bre, though", he said. "I don't know her personally but she seems like a giant bitch".
"She's not normally. She's been a completely different person since Brad died".
"Well, pretending to be a victim and blaming you for everything isn't a healthy way for her to cope", he said. "You didn't kill him and you didn't cause her or Brad to cheat. They made their own decisions. She's simply mad that she needs to own up to hers now".
I said nothing. I had started the chain of events, even if I wasn't directly responsible for their decisions.
Ip squeezed me.
"Okay?", he asked.
"It's not okay but it's better", I told him, squeezing him back. "Thank you, darling. I don't know what I would do without you right now".
I paused. "Actually, yeah, I do. I'd have been blackout drunk all week".
"Well, I'm glad I can be here then", he said.
"Me, too".
I released him.
"Turn around", he said quietly.
I raised one eyebrow but did what he wanted.
He put his large, warm, comforting hands on my shoulders and confidently massaged my shoulders and neck for a couple minutes.
"Breathe", he instructed. "Relax".
I tried. I focused on his hands and on my breathing. Slowly my muscles started to release the tension they were holding.
After a few more minutes he wrapped one arm around my waist and the other across my shoulders and slowly pulled my back against his chest.
"You need to run now?", he asked quietly in my ear, sending a little thrill up my spine.
"Yeah. I can go alone".
I felt his silent disapproval.
"I can", I insisted. "I'll call you if anything happens. You know where I am".
"Fine", he said. "You be careful".
"I will".
"Will you make sure I see you when you come out, before you go inside?"
"Okay".
"Get going then", he said, releasing me, so I did.
It was much easier than yesterday, though the spot where we had fallen was still a muddy mess. Besides that area, I raced through like my hair was on fire.
As I was running, I was mainly thinking about Bre and about how she must be feeling in order to have acted like that. When I got out, my lungs were burning, I had a side ache, and my thighs were shaking.
I walked in small circles holding my side and trying to catch my breath. I looked around for Ip and saw him in a different ring with a different horse, executing some jumps and fast turns around different obstacles. I kept an eye on him as I started for the house. When he met my gaze, I waved. He waved back and I kept going.
I remembered something. A lovely thought which warmed my heart enough that the aching that was there almost completely disappeared.
Ip had said he was never too busy for me. He said there was nothing he did that could ever be more important than me. He said he had all the time I needed and I believed him. His actions matched those words.
Rev and Brad both told me I was the most important thing in the world to them, but Rev had to shuffle things in his work life to make time for me, and while he always was able to get there when I needed him, he couldn't always stay as long as I wanted or needed, and it took quite a bit of finagling to rearrange his life.
After Bre started having babies, but especially after Charlie, Brad simply told me no. Bre and those kids were his priority, not me. He would sometimes take off work for me, but not as much as he could have with a brother-in-law as his boss.
So, this...what Ip just said and what Ip just did...that filled me up. It warmed my heart. It encouraged me.
Ip might be exactly what I need.
Exactly what I've always needed.
Wouldn't that be something if the person who was the best fit for me had been the one I had been avoiding for nearly a decade?
That would seem about right. It would sure fit in with the theory that I was cursed.
...........................................................................
Ip watched Paige walk up to the house, and he also watched five other men watch her, too. The way her hips swayed, the way those shiny black leggings clung to her, the hourglass shape of her body from any angle...he could picture every curve with his eyes closed.
Paige was mind-blowing gorgeous, so beautiful she belonged in movies, advertising, and on TV, which was part of her success as a singer. People wanted to look at her as much as they wanted to listen to her.
Ip had been immediately struck by her beauty. The first time he saw her, he could hardly breathe or focus because he couldn't get a grip on the fact that she was real. He had never seen anyone so physically striking in real life. Every feature was stunning perfection. Even the scars simply added to her appeal, at least from his perspective. It showed how tough she was.
But that was not why he fell in love with her. It was her personality- her determination, her bravery, her sense of humor, her resilience, her honesty, and her big heart.
He meant what he said when he told her attraction alone wouldn't carry them through to the ends of their lives. That's why he was pushing to maintain a non-physical relationship with her until she figured out if he was the one. He didn't want her confusing love with attraction. As it was, she seemed to have a lot of blurred lines and confusion when it came to love anyway. He wanted things to be clear between them. Clear and pure. He didn't want to be someone who cheated. He didn't want her cheating with him.
He still hadn't decided about kissing her tonight. He wanted to...so badly it had physically hurt to restrain himself, but he didn't want their future to be stained with a beginning based on her cheating on Rev.
...........................................................................
After lunch, Ip let me help him a bit. I knew he wanted me to take it easy, so he wouldn't let me do much, but it was still better than sitting in the house with my thoughts.
After supper, Ip had to head back out for a short time, so I assured him I would be busy getting ready.
"I will come find you when I'm ready", I promised him as I collected our plates.
"I can hardly wait", he whispered in my ear.
He pulled his head away, grinned at me, and left. I felt my heart rate increase.
What did that mean? Had he decided to kiss me???
I cranked the music on my phone, piled my hair up on my head, and showered without washing it. I took my time ensuring I had every single hair removed from my legs and armpits and then applied lotion all over. I did my makeup while that was soaking in, ensuring each bruise was as covered as possible, and accepting nothing less than perfection on my eyes.
I brushed my teeth, applied dark red lip gloss, then got dressed. Black push-up bra and black thong underwear. I hated wearing those but the dress was clingy and I didn't want underwear lines. I pulled the dress on. It fit like it was painted on me. The V in the back stopped at the edge of my bra, and so did the one in the front. It ended mid thigh, which would have been crazy short on a girl of normal height. It made me look taller than I was and it made my cleavage look incredible. I was hoping it made me so irresistible to Ip that he would kiss me long before midnight.
I started in on my hair next. It took a long time to simply add loose waves to it because of my cast. Finally, I was satisfied. I checked my phone.
Fuck!
It was quarter to eight. Ip hadn't come knocking yet, though. I quickly and carefully added deodorant, then stepped into the black sandals with heels and buckled them across my ankles.
Perfect. Or, at least as perfect as I could be with a cast and a fucked up face. I winked at myself in the mirror, smiled, and turned off my music.
With an unexpected crazy amount of butterflies in my stomach, I grabbed my purse and went to find Ip.
...........................................................................
Ip was having a little whiskey in the dining room with Jose as he waited for Paige. He felt nervous. He hadn't felt nervous around Paige all week, but tonight was different. This was, for all intents and purposes, a date. He had spent a great deal of time and frustration trying to get his tie tied correctly. He knew how but he didn't wear them very often.
When he had finally left his room, Carmella gushed over how handsome he was and how nice his eyes looked with the dark blue of the shirt. Then she proceeded to remove a sticker from the pants which he had missed.
Jose was watching him closely, but he refrained from asking questions or giving advice, which Ip appreciated. Carmella was baking something which smelled amazing in the kitchen, staying nearby because she wanted to see Paige.
When Ip heard the clicking of heels coming down the hallway, he leapt to his feet, heart pounding, so quickly he nearly knocked over his chair.
"Finish your drink, son", Jose said calmly.
Ip picked up his drink and downed the rest in one swallow. Jose's mustache twitched and his dark eyes twinkled, but the brown skinned man said nothing else.
As Paige stepped into view, Ip lost all function of his brain. He couldn't think or do anything other than stare at her, completely speechless, as she smiled at him.
Jose stood. "You look beautiful, dear", he said kindly.
"Thank you", she said, as Jose elbowed him gently in the side.
That shook him out of it.
"Paige, I...wow", Ip stuttered. "You look beyond incredible".
"Is it too much?", she asked, suddenly seeming a little uncertain.
"Never", Ip said, though he felt as though his brain was melting and his eyes were going to fall from his skull.
Her uncertainty changed to a smile and a slight flushing in her cheeks.
Her dress, nails, and lips were all the same color as the pinstripes in his dark blue shirt, a deep red color, very dark. It looked incredible with her tanned skin and her emerald eyes. The dress fit her like a glove, so he could see the outline of her ribs and the definition of her abs. It was short and clung to every curve, sleeveless with a neckline split clear down to her bra. He was going to have a really difficult time not staring at her chest tonight. If her face hadn't been so stunning, he wouldn't have even been able to tear his eyes from that spot. Her legs were also impressive in those heels, showing off each toned muscle. They looked smooth and soft, and he really wanted to bring her into his room and pull that dress right back off of her.
"Oh, Miss Paige!", Carmella gushed in Spanish. "We need a picture. Jose, take a picture with Isaiah's phone!"
Ip obligingly handed Jose his phone as Paige stepped closer.
"Hold on", she said, setting her purse on a chair. "This is a little crooked".
She stepped close and reached for his tie.
"Sorry", he said as she simply untied it and started over. "I don't do this often".
"No worries", she said, glancing up into his face. "Tying ties is one of my favorite things to do. Next time just leave it for me".
He grinned. Next time.
"Yes, ma'am", he said obligingly.
She quickly fixed it then smoothed his shirt against his chest with the palm of her hand. She was standing so close and peering up at him. It was nice to have her this much closer to his face with those heels on.
"You got your cross on under there?", she whispered with a smile.
He placed his hand on top of hers and smiled.
"Yes, ma'am".
"This shirt makes your eyes look amazing", she said, still smiling up at him.
"Good choice then", he agreed.
Jose cleared his throat and Paige tore her eyes away from him, then grabbed his elbow instead.
Carmella instructed them to stand in the large open walkway in the middle of the house so the backyard was visible in the background of the photo.
Ip wrapped his arm around her and set it on her hip, pulling her against him. She put her casted hand behind his back then they smiled for several different photos as Carmella viewed each in between and found a flaw with her son's photo taking in each one.
"I feel like I'm heading to prom", Ip whispered.
Paige laughed lightly. "Totally", she agreed.
Finally, Carmella released them, told them to have a good time, to call Jose if they couldn't drive, and to please not break anything when they got back home drunk.
They both started laughing.
Ip took Paige's elbow gently as they walked out front to his truck which he had brought around for her. He had placed clean towels on the seats to prevent their clothes from getting dusty. He helped her up inside and shut her door.
"You don't want a jacket?", he asked.
"I'm not going to bring it inside anyway, so no. I'll survive", she said.
He wasn't so sure but he dropped it.
As he started driving, she was digging through her purse.
"Can you carry my ID, money, lipgloss, and phone?", she asked.
"Um, yes?", he asked raising his eyebrow at her.
She laughed beautifully.
"I don't want to bring my purse".
"Well, you don't need money, and if I'm carrying your phone anyway, what's the point of having it if you won't be looking at it?"
"You don't have to pay for everything", she said, "and Rev's supposed to update me".
"I got it. It's a date, remember? And have him text me instead", Ip suggested.
"Thank you. That's not a bad idea", she said. "Give me your phone".
He handed it to her and watched her text him.
"Okay, done".
"ID and lipgloss then", he said. "That, my pockets can handle".
She laughed again.
When they got to the bar parking lot, she moved her hand to the door knob and he caught her other wrist.
"Excuse me, ma'am, but this is supposed to be a date", he said.
"Oh. Yes. Sorry", she said, taking her hand off the handle.
He got out, came around, opened the door, and helped her out. She handed him the lipgloss which he dropped in his pocket, and her ID which he tucked into his wallet next to his own.
"Allison Walker, huh?", he asked, feeling himself frown as he glanced at it.
Had to be Walker.
She didn't reply but took his upper arm in both her hands and steered him to the door.
"ID", the bouncer requested for Paige. Ip dug it out and showed him, laughing at her.
"Who gets carded at thirty-six?", Ip chuckled.
She simply flushed and shook her head.
The guy collected a cover from them and motioned them through. As they walked in, Ip watched every male head swivel their direction and several men elbowing their buddies.
Paige had dropped his arm when he was showing her ID and paying, so now he put an arm around her shoulders instead and pulled her closer, instinctively feeling protective and concerned for her safety.
"I'm going to have to get in a whole bunch of fights tonight", he whispered in her ear.
She looked up at him and laughed. "So dramatic", she said. "Good thing you're armed".
Ip had his pistol clearly visible in a hip holster.
"I don't want you going anywhere alone", he told her as they walked up to the bar. "Not even to get a drink or go to the bathroom".
"Yeah, okay", she said.
"I'm real serious", he said, looking down at her as they waited for a bartender to approach.
She looked up at him through her long eyelashes.
"I'm glued to you", she said, with a little smile that made his heart flutter. She wrapped her left hand around his right bicep, then slid it slowly down his arm and linked her fingers through his. That gesture was so intimate and sensual, he literally could not breathe or even think about looking at her.
He ordered their drinks then glanced around for Tim and Lia. He found them fairly quickly.
He pointed them out to Paige then put a hand on the small of her back as they walked over. The male attention she was drawing was a little nerve wracking for him. He felt as worried as he had watching her up on a stage. He didn't know if it made him feel better or worse that she seemed oblivious to it. Her eyes were on their friends and she didn't bother to look around to see who was gaping at her.
Lia hugged her and gushed over how beautiful she was. Paige very humbly pointed out her cast and then turned it back around on Lia, complimenting her dress and hair. Ip knew she always did that. It was like she had a hard time taking the attention. Which seemed crazy for someone who was a natural performer, but Ip felt that Paige didn't perform for the attention, only to lead people in enjoying music and having a good time. She was a natural leader.
Tim shook his hand and clapped him on the back.
"You're gonna have your hands full with her tonight", Tim said in a low voice, glancing around at the men ogling Paige.
"Yeah, no shit".
...........................................................................
I was happy to see Lia and Tim, and we quickly caught up with each other's lives over the first hour we were there. They had a tall table next to the dance floor. Lia, Ip, and I all enjoyed dancing so that was convenient.
When we first got there, Tim had commented, "Hon, I'm a little worried about all the attention you're getting in that dress of yours. Please stick close by, all right?"
"I know", I said. "Ip already said that".
I told Ip I was going to stick to him like glue and I did. I was leaned up against him, or had my hand hooked in his arm, or my arm around his waist, anytime we were standing still. The band started at nine, and they were good. They played like the guys and I used to when we did cover songs, back before we were famous.
When we danced, I mostly danced with Ip. I was having so much fun, I barely noticed my feet getting sore. I wasn't used to wearing heels anymore.
A little after ten, we were drinking some water at our table, and Ip wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer. He leaned his forehead against the side of my head and whispered in my ear, as quietly as one could whisper over a live band, "I have a deal for you".
I turned to look at him, amused.
"What kind of deal?"
He put his face back against my head and his mouth next to my ear. "You get up there and sing with the band and I'll let you have your kiss".
"Ip!", I protested. "That's not fair! What if I flip out and have a panic attack?"
"Then I'll be right there to help you. I did it once, so I'll be better at it the next time".
I looked at the stage then back at Ip. He was actually looking kinda hopeful, but also kinda mischievous.
"Ip, I don't know", I said.
I felt scared thinking about it.
"Look, my palms are actually sweating thinking about it".
I showed him my left hand. He simply laced his fingers through mine and squeezed.
"You don't have to", he said, with twinkling blue eyes and a smile. "It's all in your hands now, which I know is how you prefer it".
"You're a fucking shit", I said, glaring at him. "Why are you doing this to me? Why would you put me in this situation?"
"Because, darlin', you're the one who thinks you need the kiss. I think you need to sing. I believe in you. I know you'll be fine".
"How can you possibly know that?"
He shrugged. "I just do".
"God told you?", I guessed.
"Maybe", he grinned with his perfect white teeth contrasting against the tan of his face.
"Did God also tell you that if I panic attack on stage, I'm going to beat your ass with my cast?", I snapped.
"It was implied", he grinned.
I sighed heavily. "Fuck!", I said, then I yanked my hand out of his. "I need more whiskey if I'm going to do this".
"Yes, ma'am", he said, extending his elbow my way. "Come with me".
While we waited to be served at the bar, a tall attractive brunette with dark blue eyes grabbed Ip's other arm.
"Ip?!?", she inquired with a smile.
"Hey", he said, removing his arm from my grasp to give her a hug, which annoyed me.
I smiled at her anyway.
"Is this your girlfriend?", she asked after asking how he was and him doing the same.
"Ummm", he said, looking awkward.
"We're still trying to figure that out", I said, interrupting. "I'm Paige. Sorry about the cast", I said, extending my hand to shake hers.
"Oh, ouch. I'm Lacey. How'd you do that?", she asked.
"Fell off one of his horses a couple weeks ago", I lied.
"Oh my", she said.
Another girl stopped by and grabbed her arm.
"Hey, we're leaving", the girl said.
"It was really nice to see you", the brunette said to Ip wistfully, then looked at me. "Nice to meet you".
"Happy New Year", I told her.
After she left, we turned back to the bar at the same time.
"Well, that was fucking awkward", I said, glancing up at him.
"Yep", he agreed, staring straight ahead.
"That was the last person you dated a couple years ago, wasn't it?"
"How could you know that?"
"You broke her heart".
His head whipped down at me. "Do you think so?"
"I know so. Did you sleep with her?"
He flushed and looked away. "Don't ask me that", he said.
"Why not? You've met two people I've slept with. I want to know".
He sighed. "Yeah".
"Did you sleep with her and then break up with her?"
"Paige...". His face was turning red.
"Tell me".
"After a few times, not immediately after, but yes. We only dated a couple months".
"Did you break up with her because she was boring in bed? She looks like she'd be boring".
"Paige!", he gasped, his face horrified. "Stop!"
I laughed at him. "I'm not boring", I couldn't help teasing, raising my eyebrows.
He turned downright purple, looked away, and shook his head.
"No, ma'am", he said, not looking at me. "You are anything but that".
Poor guy.
Ip got me another whiskey then escorted me back to the table with a hand on my hip. As long as he kept me close, I was left alone. The one time he went to the bathroom, Tim had to politely intervene in his fatherly way because some friendly young man in his early twenties threw an arm over my shoulders and thought he was going to set up camp at our table. There were also two incidents on the dance floor when I danced with Lia alone. I thought Ip was going to have to hit someone the second time, but that guy finally decided to walk away.
I liked Ip's protection. He was a lot more diplomatic than Brad or Rev, and he still had fun in between protecting me, rather than moping around all pissed off glaring at everyone. Ip didn't stress me out and I felt safe with him. In fact, I wanted to cling to him. I enjoyed him keeping a hand on me at all times. In fact, I preferred it. I was having fun and laughing with him. Brad or Rev would have hit at least one person by now, and would have been overall so angry, I wouldn't have wanted to dance anymore or even talk to them. Not Ip. He let it go as soon as it was over. What a guy.
I sipped the double Ip had gotten for me and considered my options while I leaned against the table and against his side. He had one hand on my hip.
I glanced up at his gorgeous tanned face, no longer purple from embarrassment.
"You know I'm going to do it, right?", I asked. "I hope you're prepared for all the consequences".
"I hope you are", he teased, grinning and leaning down closer. "We probably need some ground rules here. Tongue or no tongue?"
I burst out laughing in spite of myself and felt my cheeks burning.
"Ah, we should probably go with no", I said.
"Okay", he grinned. "Anything else?"
"I'm not mapping it out", I said, feeling my cheeks getting hotter. "Do whatever feels natural. You can't really plan these things".
"True. So, the song- we should go talk to them and see what you want to do? I say you need to finish for it to count. Agreed?"
"Fine".
I took another swig of my whiskey.
"What are you two talking about?", Lia asked.
"He's trying to get me to sing".
"Oh, sweetie, you should!", she said. "It's who you are!"
I looked back up at Ip. He really was a shit. He knew I'd accept the challenge, and because I never backed away from a challenge, I would follow through.
No matter how scared I was.
I swallowed the last of my drink and grabbed his hand. "You're coming with", I said.
"Damn straight", he grinned at me. "I'm gonna be right there if you need me".
I linked my fingers through his and walked up to the stage with him. We stood slightly to the side and both motioned to the lead singer when the song ended. As the applause died down, he popped over to us.
"Do you recognize her?", Ip asked, grinning.
"Familiar, but I can't place her...".
"Paige Anne Davis. Country singer. Your Loss, Whiskey Kisses".
"Oh, shit, man, yeah!"
Ip was grinning from ear to ear. "Well, she was wondering if she could sing with you guys but we don't have bodyguards with us tonight so it would be really dangerous if you announced who she was. I just wanted you to know that she's really good so you're gonna want to do this".
"Of course, but we don't know-".
"I don't want to sing my songs", I interrupted. "What do you have planned?"
"Tell ya what, we'll do the next song, then we'll take a break and figure it out".
"Sounds great".
The guy gave us two thumbs up. "This is gonna rock!", he said.
I wasn't so sure. I felt sweaty. I still had Ip's hand and I realized I was squeezing it pretty hard. I looked down at our hands and consciously loosened my grip.
Ip's other hand caught the side of my face.
"Paige?"
I looked up. The mischievousness and humor were gone.
"Do you trust me?", he asked, his light blue eyes searching mine.
"Yes", I replied without even thinking about it.
His eyes flickered with...something...but his expression didn't change.
"I know you can do this", he said. "If you trust me, then you don't need to be nervous because I know you're going to be incredible...like always. You were made to sing for others. God created you for this. He wants you to share this gift he gave you. It feels good when you do, it feels right, doesn't it?"
"Yeah. It's amazing".
"That's how you know. That's how I feel working with horses. That's why I'm satisfied working every single day. It's what he created me to do. So, don't be scared".
He smiled at me. "I got you if you need me, but you're not going to".
He leaned down and kissed the tip of my nose. He was so sweet. No one did that to me. Everyone kissed my forehead. No one kissed my nose, except Ip. He was truly different from any man I'd known.
...........................................................................
Ip was having the best evening of his life. There had hardly been a moment when he hadn't had physical contact with Paige. When he didn't have a hand on her, she would throw her arm around his waist or grab his arm, or slide her hand down his arm and link her fingers through his. The butterflies in his stomach had literally not stopped since she walked into the dining room three hours ago.
Once, when she had been dancing with Lia, a man about his age with an attractive blond woman on his arm stopped briefly at their table to chat with him and Tim.
"She's stunning", the man said to Ip, pointing at Paige. "Is she yours?"
"She is tonight", Ip grinned.
"What happened to her hand?", the woman asked.
"Bucked from a horse", Ip said. "She also had stitches in her cheek but she made me help her pull those out yesterday".
Tim started laughing. "'Course she did", he chuckled.
"This is going to maybe sound crazy", the woman said, "but we swear we know her from somewhere. Do you two live here?"
"I do but she doesn't. She's from up north but has spent most of the past nine years in Tennessee".
"That's it!", the man said, grabbing his arm. "We own a restaurant in Nashville". He stared at Paige again. "Damned if that ain't Paige Davis...it is, isn't it?"
"Yes, sir", Ip said, "but I gotta ask you to keep that to yourself. We don't have a security detail. Paige has been taking a break".
"Oh, yes, the tragedy!", his wife said, hitting her husband's arm. "Her husband was shot on stage by a crazed fan. He died protecting her! No wonder she disappeared! She needs time".
She turned to Ip. "We will not bother her".
"Thank you, ma'am".
"Is she here visiting family? Are you her father?", she asked Tim.
Tim smiled. "Her father is deceased but I'm pretty darn close. Yes, she's here visiting and recuperating".
The husband clapped Ip on the shoulder. "You seem good for her", he said. "The way she looks at you...she'll come around once her heart heals".
"Definitely", his wife said, patting Ip's arm. "She clearly adores you".
After they walked away, Tim leaned over to him. "Keep in mind she's been drinking", he said.
"Tim, I know. I'm not getting my hopes too high. She loves Rev. I know that. Plus, she might be hanging on me only so she doesn't get hit on".
"And we both know she's a loving, impulsive little shit who likes to have a good time", Tim added, "but if you ain't careful, that girl's gonna end up in your bed tonight, and you know Rev's real protective of her".
"Tim, seriously. I know all that. I'm not going to take advantage. You know me".
"Yes, I do, son, but there's very few men in this world that can resist a beautiful woman, so I'm just giving you a reminder. You could end up dead if you're not careful".
"I appreciate it", Ip said honestly, "but I'm not intimidated by Rev. Anything I do or don't do is for her, not him".
Currently, the love of his life was up on stage belting out 'Crazy' by Aerosmith, and the entire place was going wild. She was phenomenal. He had no doubts she would be, but she wasn't convinced. Now she was. He couldn't get the grin off his face as he stood near the stage and watched her in awe. He meant what he said. God had created her to sing for others. It gave him goosebumps, it was so impactful.
When she was done, as the crowd was giving her thunderous applause, she whispered with the lead singer on guitar again, then stayed up there and did 'Fishin' in the Dark' with them.
She was having a blast as far as he could tell, but at the end of that song, she thanked the band then came over to him. He lifted her off the stage and she wrapped her arms around his neck in a death grip.
"You are my fucking hero", she shouted in his ear above the din. "Everything you do is exactly what my soul needs. Can you even comprehend what you've done for me?"
He had her pressed up against him, arms around her waist, her feet not even touching the floor.
He shut his eyes and allowed himself this very deep, very impactful moment. What she was thanking him for, the words she had used, the feel of her body against his...he was so happy in that moment he thought his heart was going to burst. He felt his eyes fill with tears.
"Yeah", he shouted back into her ear. "I think I do".
As he set her down, they were slightly swarmed by people giving her compliments. Someone asked her if she was the girl that sang 'Whiskey Kisses' and Ip said no, then politely pushed through to get her back to their table. Lia was gushing over her performance and Ip checked his phone for the time. It was eleven thirty. He had thirty minutes left before he kissed her. He had to do it now. It was a deal. He felt both elated and terrified.
He also saw he had a text, so he opened it. There was a text from Rev- Got him!, it said. He felt relieved but then his heart sank. With the mission over, Rev would be coming to collect his girl.
He tapped Paige's bare shoulder. She turned and he showed her the text.
"Thank God", she said, then resumed talking to Lia.
The band started playing 'Dixieland Delight', and Paige grabbed his arm and yanked so hard he sloshed water all over the table.
"Come on!", she shouted.
He obligingly went out on the dance floor and danced through the whole song with her until they were both sweaty. She was laughing and glowing.
He took her hand and led her back off the dance floor. At the table, she stood on her toes and leaned against him, grabbing his neck for support and speaking into his ear.
"My guys do that song so much better and I can dance so much better in my boots than these heels".
"I know", he said, smiling down into her beautiful heart shaped face. He couldn't even see the indents from the stitches or the bruises with the way she had her makeup and hair done. "I've seen you".
She smiled sweetly up at him and he felt his heart start pounding.
"It's almost time", he said.
"Since I did two songs...do I get two kisses?", she asked, a mischievous twinkle in her emerald eyes as she arched one perfect delicate brown eyebrow.
He burst out laughing. "We'll see", he said. "I need to think about that. It wasn't part of the deal".
"I thought you might be open to negotiations", she joked.
Her hand was still on his neck and her face awfully close to his.
"Paige, let's go to the bathroom before the ball drops!", Lia shouted across the table.
Paige released him but maintained eye contact as she backed away, then she finally turned as she took off to the bathroom with Lia.
Tim was looking at him with raised eyebrows.
"Save the table. I'll get us drinks", Ip said.
By the time he got back to the table, it was about five to midnight. Everyone accepted their drinks from him gladly, and as soon as he had a free hand, Ip put it on Paige's hip and pulled her up against him.
Now that he had decided to do it, he wasn't going to miss this for anything. She wasn't leaving his side for the next five minutes.
She looked up at him with a soft, sweet expression, a little smile, large beautiful eyes. The comments from the Tennessee couple ran through his head.
The way she looks at you, she'll come around once her heart heals.
She clearly adores you.
Was that how she looked at him? Sometimes he thought he saw it but other times he thought it was wishful thinking. Regardless, when she got that look in her large, beautiful eyes, he lost himself in them. Every single time.
As the music stopped and the bar put the countdown up on the TV screens, Ip set his drink down and felt his heart start pounding. He could hardly breathe.
The entire bar counted down together out loud. Not Ip. He couldn't speak. He had his hand on Paige's hip and consciously had to relax his grip. He knew his fingers were digging into her.
She was counting down as well, and at one she turned to him with a smile.
The entire bar erupted into cheers and little plastic horns blasting and people throwing confetti, but Ip's world stood still. He heard nothing and saw nothing except that beautiful face smiling up at him. He had his right hand on her low back as she turned and he brought his left up to the side of her face.
She grabbed the back of his neck with the hand which wasn't in a cast and stood on her toes as he pulled her tightly against him and she pulled down on his neck.
He slowly lowered his face to hers, maintaining eye contact until the last second, and then he shut his eyes and lowered his mouth onto hers.
His intent had been to kiss her gently, briefly, little more than a quick peck, but that isn't what happened.
All thought disappeared, and with it, all control.
As soon as her soft lips parted and her hand pulled on his neck more insistently, he forgot about being polite and appropriate.
He kissed Paige with every feeling he had ever had about her. He kissed her like he loved her, like he had been waiting eight years to do so, and like she belonged to him. He was gentle, he was loving, but he was intense. He had his tongue against hers, his hand in her hair, using the back of her head to press her mouth into his, and her hand squeezing his neck only fueled his passion.
He finally came to his senses enough to realize they were making out in the middle of a bar and that she was not his girlfriend.
He kissed her lips lightly once more, pulled his mouth away and rested his forehead against hers for a moment. He took a deep, shaky breath and pulled his head back enough to look into her eyes, which seemed slightly surprised. Then she smiled at him and moved her hand from the back of his neck to his tie. She tugged on it and pulled his face down to hers for one more light kiss. He smiled back and stroked her cheek with his thumb, then she let go of his tie and released him.
When he finally tore his eyes from her face and looked around, Tim was staring at them with an unreadable expression behind his mustache, and Lia's mouth was actually gaping open.
He felt himself turning red. He had lost control and crossed into inappropriate territory and he knew it. He did it in front of a bar full of people. There was no way Rev wouldn't find out about that. If he was going to kiss her, he should have done it in private like she wanted to. As much as he was chastising himself, he couldn't regret doing it, though. It had been far too magical.
"Sorry", Paige told their friends, her cheeks bright red. "I made him. I told him he had to because it was tradition and I'm his date. It's my fault, seriously. Don't look at him like that".
"I understand", Lia said, closing her mouth and smiling. "No worries".
Lia was sweet but Ip was sure there were plenty of worries.
...........................................................................
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