"She is the perfect amount of
chaos and peace..."
R U B A B was exhausted with all the work today. She still had two hours at the hospital but it was difficult. All the kids that she saw this morning where very difficult to handle. Especially when she had to do the vaccination, their loud cries were still resonating in her ears.
"Heer Abrar.." The oddly familiar name came out of her mouth as Rubab called the last patient she had. She looked up from her file and saw two extremely familiar face. How could she forget them? Zain and Heer.
"Dr..." Zain looked at her badge before looking back at her. "Rubab." He completed with a small smile.
"Mr.Zain, come in." She stayed professional and guided him to her cabin. She indicated him to take a seat while she gave toys to Heer. Once Heer was busy, she spoke. "Didn't her parents come ?" She asked first.
"No, they had somewhere urgent to go so they sent me. I am her uncle." Zain informed her making her nod.
"So.." She crossed her arms on the desk and leaned closer. She removed her glasses which Zain thought made her more beautiful. He admired the woman in front of him. A lot. "What is it ?" She asked.
"Your beauty.." He mumbled but came back to the really world as soon. "Huh, I mean her health. Since you're her doctor, you must know that Heer has asthma but lately it's been difficult for her. It's more common, even when she does small activities she becomes breathless easily. What can we do for her ?"
Rubab nodded as she called Heer over. "Heer, can you sit here sweetheart." She indicated her to seat on the bed. Heer did as she was told. "Inhale and exhale loudly when I tell you, ok ?" Rubab touched her back under her shirt with the stethoscope and asked to do so.
After she finished she asked small questions to Heer to which she answered honestly. "Ok, so..." and she started to tell Zain everything he needed to know and what should her family do as well as her medicines.
"Ok then, thank you very much and I hope to see you soon." With a wink, Zain took Heer and went out of the cabin leaving a shocked Rubab behind. A constant smile was fixed on Zain's face which he couldn't remove.
Why was her presence so important to him? Her face was enough to make his heart at peace.
"Weird." She mumbled shaking her head.
~ ~ ~
"Mama pweazeeeeee.." With puppy eyes and a small pout on his lips, Azaan requested his mother. It was sunday and he wanted to go to the park. Well, normally it's his grandfather who brings him to the park so that they can have a grandfather and grandson time. But today, Azaan wanted to go with Rubab.
Rubab looked at his face and tried to remain a hard face. The truth was that she was tired but her baby's happiness mattered the most. "Okay, but promise me to behave like a big boy."
Azaan jumped and wrapped his arms around her neck. "I pwomise !" Rubab chuckled and started to get him ready with a jumper, his favorite batman shoes and his cap for the sun. She took his backpack with a bottle of water and some snack but also a band aid in case he hurts himself. Being a mother also meant being a lot of other things like a doctor, a psychologist and the list can go on. Even if Rubab was already a doctor, a lot of mothers become one after their children's arrival.
"Won't you come Abbu ?" Rubab asked after coming in her father's room.
"No my child, It's too sunny outside. You go and enjoy. Your father is becoming old now, he doesn't have that much time left. That's why I am telling you to rem-" Rubab facepalmed at Abu Bakr's words.
"Nonsense abbu, you are still young and can you please stop bringing this topic again and again ?" She didn't want to sound rude to her father so she maintained a soft tone.
"As you wish my love. Now go and have fun." He kissed her forehead as she gave him a breathtaking smile.
"If you have any problem, call me. As-salamu alaykum." They waved goodbyes and drove to the nearby park.
As they got there, Azaan was quick to disappear in the kids and play. Rubab sat on the bench nearby keeping an eye on her. She decided to message her only friend - Amani - she hadn't talk to since a few days. Amani was a few years younger than Rubab, she was twenty four years old and got married a month ago. That's the reason Rubab didn't want to disturb her time with her husband. But Amani informed her that she came back yesterday.
She was about to message her when her name appeared on the screen. She picked up the call and said her salam. "Now that you have a husband you don't remember me anymore huh ?" She teased with a serious tone.
"It's not like that Ruby. I was just busy. How can I forget my second love ?" Amani chuckled.
"If I am your second love who's your first love ?" Rubab watched Azaan as she saw him sliding on the slide.
"Obviously chocolate, and Amaan is my third love." The love in Amani's voice while taking her husband's name wasn't missed by Rubab. She silently prayed to Allah to always keep her friend happy.
"I don't think Amaan bhai will be very pleased by this. How was your honeymoon by the way ?" Rubab further asked knowing well that Amani will get excited.
And as expected, she squealed in happiness. "It was UNREAL. He took me to Venise. Can you imagine? I don't even know how he came to know that it was my dream destination. It is such a romantic and beautiful place. I spent the most beautiful and best days of my life. And it was all because of Amaan. I can't thank Allah enough for giving me him as a life partner...." Rubab was genuinely happy for her friend but she couldn't help and remember her days of honeymoon.
The early days of her marriage were blissful, like the rest. Rubab and Karim were friends, yet to be best friends. Rubab was a very shy person and Karim always tried to make her comfortable with him. Rubab was glad that her parents choose him as her partner. She doesn't know anything about love yet but she knew he was the best companion for her.
"So... lost in my thoughts ?" With a small smirk, Karim asked handing her a cup of ice cream.
"You wish.." She stuck her tongue out making him chuckle. He loved her childish behavior. A silence filled between them as they stared at the waves in front of them. The beach at night was another level of peace. Karim threw his empty cup in the dustbin as he wrapped his arm around her waist. They were comfortable enough to touch each other like this.
"Rubab..." He slowly said and continued when he heard her hum. "Do you believe in soulmates ?"
Rubab was slightly taken aback from his sudden question. She thought before answering. "I do, I believe that we all have a soulmate that Allah has created for us. I just don't think that our soulmate has to be the one we married. And some might believe that out soulmate isn't the one we fall in love with but I think that we only fall in love with our soulmate." He loved the spark in her eyes when she talked about something that she liked.
"And you think we might not be soulmates ?" He frowned at her but nothing serious. He wasn't offended.
"We might be, Allah knows best. I just know that the day I fall in love with you I will know that you are my soulmate." She smiled with her dimples.
"Then I hope you will soon." He winked at her making her blush. "What is love for you ?" Rubab thought he could see her soul by the way he was looking at her.
"Well love is when you look at that person and you feel happiness. Love is even if you crave for your lover's touch, no matter how far she/he is, your love doesn't change. Love is when the other person understands you without uttering a word. Love is when you can sacrifice anything to be with that one person. But love is also trust and companionship." Karim was sure that he was in love, he didn't doubt that.
But he also knew that she wasn't.
"Ruby? Are you there?" The voice of Amani broke her thoughts.
She cleared her throat before answering. "Yes, I am listening." That was enough for her best friend to start her blabbering again. Rubab didn't mind, she was used to Amani's talkative nature.
~ ~ ~
Zain was playing some random tune on his guitare when a song popped in his mind. He grinned like an idiot before playing it.
Shayad kabhi na keh sakun main tumko...
[I may never be able to say this to you...]
Her breathtaking smile came in front of him as he closed his eyes. He could only remember her name, her face. She was slowly invading his thoughts.
Kahe bina hi samajh lo tum shayad...
[So please understand it without saying... ]
And his heart was slowly making a place for her to live in. In just a few accidental meets he had become attached to her. Maybe he was finally admitting his feelings for her.
Shayad mere khayal mein tum ek din...
[Maybe one day in my memories...]
Milo muhje kahin ghum shayad...
[You'll come and meet me somewhere...]
She was becoming his reason to breath even before she came in his life. He had imagined a life ahead, and it couldn't be without her. He wanted her, so much. But she was married with a son. How could he think like this about someone who already belonged to someone else? Wouldn't he be furious if a man thought about his wife in that way?
A knock on the door interrupted his moment. The smile on his lips was now replaced by a frown. Zain hated when someone interrupted his alone time. He allowed the person to come in and grimaced as soon as he saw who it was. It's not like he didn't like Arooj, she was his friend but nowadays she was too present in his house and clinging to his mother.
And his mother indirectly told him that she was considering Arooj for him.
He sighed before putting aside his guitare. "What do you want ?" His voice was ruder than he thought.
"Why are you so cold to me these days, Zain? We are friends." Arooj came in his room and put a hand on his shoulder. Before, Zain wouldn't have mind her touching him but now it just felt wrong.
"Don't touch me please." He removed her hand. "And that's exactly what I am saying. We. are. friends." He emphasized on the last word.
"What do you mean ?" She turned him around so he face her. She was genuinely confused.
"I don't like you coming to my house every two days, Arooj. You think I don't know what you are doing? I have told you before and I am telling you know, there will be no us. So stop roaming around my mother and putting that idea inside her head. I will never make you my wife." Arooj stared at him in astonishment. She was taken aback by his outburst.
She was hurt again, despite her numerous effort. Zain was the same and didn't change at all. She thought her love was enough for them but she was wrong.
"Ok.." Arooj left the room with tears rolling down her cheeks like waterfall. She was left hearbroken again to the person she loved.
Zain felt guilty for talking to her so rudely but he was fed up from all this. He was tired of telling her to give up on them. He will never love her because he belonged to someone else. Someone beyond him, someone who might never be his. Someone society will never accept as his wife.
He still wanted her, because no one else mattered anymore.
He was still thinking and trying to cover up his guilt when his phone rang. His answered the call, it was Zavian, his friend. "As-salamu alaykum bro." They greeted each other.
"So what did I do to deserve a call from you ?" Zain teased, Zavian wasn't the type to call much. He was more of face to face person.
"I have a good news for you.." Zain could imagine Zavian scratching the back of his neck, an old habit of his when he was nervous.
"What is it ?" Zain removed the guitar before hanging it on the wall.
"I am going to propose Arooj." Zain almost fainted hearing the news from his friend. He didn't understand how could Zavian propose to Arooj.
"Wait...what! I mean how?" He was sure that his eyes were balling out of there sockets by now. He was so shocked after hearing this.
"I love her, so I am going to propose her. What's the big deal ?" Zavian didn't understand why Zain wasn't sharing the same excitement at him. Wasn't he happy for his friend?
"You can't do this..." Zain didn't want Zavian to be left heartbroken. He knew him very well to know that Zavian must've planned something big and memorable. He didn't want it to become the most horrible memory of his life where he would be rejected.
"Why won't I? I love her and I don't know if she loves me yet, but I am sure that she likes me. We are best friends." Zavian raised his voice making Zain to control his temper. He couldn't tell Zavian the truth.
"Or wait...do you like her? Is that why you don't want me to propose to her?" Zain's silence was misunderstood by Zavian.
When Zain was still processing Zavian untruthful words, he said. "I never thought you could do this to me Zain. I was your best friend !" He cut off the call before Zain could defend himself and settle the truth.
His friendship was ruined.
~ ~ ~
Sitting on the bench while observing her son, Rubab never thought to meet him again. There he was, Zain sitting on the other end of the bench, with a smile in his face. His gaze was lowered by respect and she did the same, following the commands of her Creator.
"Isn't it too much coincidence in just a week ?" Zain initiated the conversation.
"It is. It's the third time we are meeting." With a small, polite smile Rubab continued. When they first met, at the grocery shop she didn't like Zain at all. But slowly and gradually when they met at her cabin, something change inside her. She felt a sort of unspoken connection with him.
"You're here with your son?" Rubab nodded only. "Heer also loves park, in fact all my nieces and nephews do. I have two elder sister and five nieces and nephews in total. They love me because I am their only uncle. I didn't take any of them today, I wanted to spend some time alone." Zain stopped talking when he thought that he might talk too much. "I am sorry, I talk a lot." He felt the need to apologize.
He was glad that he found Rubab because just her presence was enough to give him piece. After Zavian's call, he needed to put his thoughts together so he came in the park.
"There is no need to apologize. I didn't mind listening about your life." Azaan came running to them.
"Mama, water !" He was sweating a lot so Rubab gave him his bottle water and then cleaned his sweat with wipes. Azaan wiped his mouth then his gaze fell on the man sitting on the same bench as his mother. The man was familiar. "Are you the uncle who shtole my chocolate ?" He asked innocently.
Zain chuckled before ruffling Azaan's hair. "I am buddy...but look today I want to give you some." He took out a small dairy milk chocolate.
Azaan looked at his mother for permission and she nodded. He took the chocolate after thanking Zain and went to play again. A question was running in his mind but Zain was hesitant to ask. "Do you want to ask something ?" Rubab must've notice his hesitance.
"Actually yes, if you don't mind."
"I won't, you can ask." She said packing away Azaan's stuff in his small pack bag.
"Where is Azaan's father? I've never seen him." He stole a glance at her before lowering his gaze again. He was very curious on who was the lucky man.
"I-I am a widow, my husband died even before Azaan was born." Controlling her emotions, Rubab let out. Zain didn't know how to react. Truth was that one part of his heart was happy because the impossible seemed possible now. Maybe Allah didn't put these feelings in his heart for nothing.
Another part of his admired the woman in front of him. She was a proud and strong single mother. It wasn't easy in a society like ours, especially the south asian community where divorcee and widows are mistreated. As if they aren't allowed to live again, to move on. But the truth was that every humans has rights to choose about their lives without having to fear the judgement of others.
People care more about other's lives than their owns. The day we all start to care about our business and not poke our noses in other's, everyone will live a peaceful life.
A small part of Zain was sad over the fact that Azaan's father couldn't even see his son's face and left the world. It's true that death doesn't care about our situation, it will knock on our door without informing. That's why we should be prepared.
"I am sorry to hear that..." Zain slowly said.
"It's ok, you were just curious to know. Can I ask you something ?" Rubab wanted to know that for a long time. She thought maybe her father was just imagining things. Zain gave her signal to go ahead. "Are you Ahmed uncle's son ?" There are a hundreds of Zain in the country, her father could be wrong.
Zain's eyes widened. "How do you know ?"
"Well, my father and your father are apparently good friends. My father is Abu Bakr." Zain's brain clicked and he knew who it was. It's been years he last saw Abu Bakr uncle and to know that Rubab was his favorite uncle's daughter. Maybe his day wasn't as bad as he thought.
"Yeah I remember Abu Bakr uncle! It's been so long!"
"We moved when I got married, but after my husband's death, I came back here to move on I guess." Zain nodded listening to her melodious voice which was doing wonder to his heart.
In a few minutes, they started to talk about anything and everything like two lost friends who met again, like two lost souls who met in another world before.
There is still a long journey before they can understand what Allah has in store for them...
******
As-salamu alaykum guys !
Long time since I updated, I am sorry. My updates are going to be more regular bcz I got my inspiration.
Do you guys want to me to write another book of short stories, not now but in the future ?
If you want, please do check out EternelDream 's book :
'I promise you the moon' (there is an english and french version) She is a new user on wattpad and her book is basically on a hijabi and a soldier's story. I hope you guys will support her !
If there are any new writers who need support plz tell me, I'll write abt your books in my updates. I might not be famous but even if I can help you a little, I will be happy. —>
Don't forget to vote !
Till next update Allah Hafiz 💗