I began to feel very overwhelmed and uncomfortable even though no one was talking about it anymore.
I decided to get up and make myself a drink, and when I made it to the kitchen I noticed Colby had followed me.
"Hey are you okay?" He asked quietly, "you haven't said anything for a while."
I shook my head, "yeah no I'm fine, I could just really use a drink. You want one?"
"Yes please" he said with a small smile, and he then walked up close to me and leaned forward.
"Can we talk about it later?" He asked, his eyes serious.
He knew I was lying when I said I was fine. I slowly nodded and gave him a small smile to reassure him things weren't weird, and I started making our drinks.
As I poured mine I put about two shots worth of alcohol in there.
"Jesus" he said with a chuckle as he watched me.
"What? It's not like I'm driving home tonight" I said softly and shyly, though my eyes were playful.
Colby realized what I was getting at and a smile formed on his face.
"Make mine like that too."
I finished the drinks and we walked back to the couches and put ourselves into the conversation they were having.
We all stayed for another hour before people started to head home.
Before Corey left he mentioned how we needed to plan another trip soon, which we all agreed to. Him and Devyn said their goodbyes, then so did kevin, and before Aryia left he had to point out how hot our kiss was again. All I did was roll my eyes and Colby just said bye and he left. Me, Colby, Sam and Kat talked for a bit in the kitchen before we said our goodbyes.
I started feeling anxious as we walked out the door, knowing him and I were going to talk. We walked quietly to his apartment and he unlocked and opened it, letting me go inside first.
I turned on the lights and set my purse down, thinking in my head how I wished I'd had another drink. I didn't know what we were going to talk about, or how it was going to go.
Colby shut and locked the door and took off the sweatshirt he was wearing, revealing a white muscle t shirt that showed off his toned arms and I couldn't help but stare.
"It's weird to see you in white" I said, trying to act like I wasn't looking at his body.
Colby looked at me, then down at his shirt and chuckled.
"Yeah it is, now that you say that."
"It looks good though" I said with a smile as I went into his fridge to grab a water bottle.
When I closed the fridge Colby was standing behind where the door was, and he crossed his arms and smirked at me.
"You think I look good in everything."
I smiled and shrugged, "yeah but it's nice to see you in something that's not black or blue."
"True" he said, and our eyes locked for a few seconds before he was the one to look away.
He slowly walked over to the counter and leaned against it, his arms still crossed.
"So um, I didn't pressure you into doing that earlier, did I?" His eyes made their way up to mine and I swallowed hard.
He was talking about the kiss.
"No no, it wasn't you, everyone else did" I said with a small laugh as my cheeks flushed, "but it's okay, it's not that I didn't want to, I was just nervous."
"Why?" He asked, "we kissed before and you weren't nervous.."
Just him reminding me made my stomach turn. Kissing once before was crazy to think about.
"I also had like 5 drinks in me when we did the first time" I said as I smiled, making him smile a little.
"That's fair," he said, "I just wanted to make sure you weren't mad at me for wanting to or something."
I shook my head.
"I wasn't mad at all."
Colby smiled and nodded, "Good. So uh, wanna watch some more Carnival Row? I think there's only two episodes left."
"Yeah sure" I said.
We made our way to the couch where I sat down first, then Colby sat down right next to me. Normally we'd grab a blanket right away, but after being in Sam's apartment where it is usually freezing we were too warm to cover up.
I pulled my leg closest to Colby into my chest and leaned against him slightly, and he looked over at me and smiled. Our faces were pretty close, and it brought back memories of earlier that night when he leaned in and kissed me. I could tell that was what he was thinking about too, and we both ended up blushing and looking away from each other.
There was a weird, exciting tension in the air after that, knowing that we were both thinking about it.
The show started to play and I slowly started to focus more of my attention on the tv. Since it was the second to last episode it was pretty intense, and towards the end I was on edge.
We made comments throughout the episode, and once it was over and we started the last one Colby sighed.
"It's always sad when a show you really like ends, or there's no more episodes to watch" he said.
"I know, we are just gonna have to find something else until the next season comes out."
I smiled over at him and switched my legs so my right one was bent and the left one laid flat against his. He sent me a smile before looking back at the tv.
Things got super intense during the finale, and I found myself turning towards Colby and burying my face into his shoulder.
"I can't watch" I said into his shirt as I brought my hand up to hold onto his arm.
I heard him laugh and I felt his hand slide onto my thigh.
"Come on you're gonna miss it" he said, I could tell he was looking at me.
I sighed and slowly lifted my head up, my eyes catching Colby's that were only inches away.
He had a small smile on his face and we just stared at each other, I was holding my breath. His eyes suddenly dropped to my lips before going back to look into my eyes, and I felt my heart racing. My mind was telling me to look away, but my body wanted something else.
I slowly leaned up and pressed my lips against his, but pulled away just as fast. I just kissed Colby. I kissed him without anyone telling me to.
I stared at him with wide eyes, my hand still frozen on his arm. He was looking at me with an expression I couldn't read.
It only lasted a second though, and a smile suddenly spread across his face as he slowly leaned forward, placing his lips back over mine.
My worries went away but the nerves kicked in as I kissed him back, my mind still trying to process what was happening.
I kissed Colby, and he kissed me back.
This kiss was different than the other times, it was soft and hesitant. He readjusted his lips on mine, and a few seconds later he slowly pulled away.
Our eyes locked and we couldn't stop the growing smiles on our faces. My cheeks were burning but I kept my gaze steady on his, this moment was going to be one to remember.
Colby let out a breathy laugh.
"I think we're missing the show" he said softly.
I held back a laugh as I nodded, but no words would come out. He looked at me for a few seconds with a cheeky smile before looking back at the tv, his hand readjusting on my thigh as he squeezed it gently.
I bit my lip as I slid my hand off his arm and sat back against the couch, and I focused my eyes on the tv. My mind was full of thoughts, my heart was full of emotions, but it wasn't overwhelming this time. It was exciting, comforting, and most importantly, I felt very happy.
He seemed happy too, I was glad I didn't mess anything up. I had hoped he was being obvious that he wanted to kiss me, because the moment just felt right. And it seemed to be because he kissed me back.
I knew I had to focus on the show or I'd miss it all, so I tried to push my feelings aside for the time being.
The finale was crazy, both of us were in shock by the end of it. Of course it ended in a cliffhanger, and both of us yelled out in anger.
"Dammit, now we have to wait for the next season!" Colby said in frustration.
I giggled at him.
"Dude there's plenty more shows we could probably get into."
"Yeah yeah" he said with a sigh, "but definitely not tonight, I'd probably fall asleep if I tried to watch something."
"Yeah same" I said, realizing I was pretty tired too.
"Are you still cool with me staying here?" I asked, "I'm probably good to drive home..."
Colby laughed and looked at his phone. "It's midnight, you're definitely staying here."
I smiled, knowing that the protective side of Colby was coming out. He didn't want me going out by myself this late at night.
"Okay" I said, "could I borrow some clothes again?"
My sweatshirt would be fine but my jean shorts would be uncomfortable.
"Of course" Colby said, and he got up and motioned for me to follow.
I followed him to the bedroom where he went to his closet and threw me an oversized t shirt, which I happily accepted.
He watched as I held it up to my face and inhaled deeply, making it obvious I was smelling his cologne. He laughed and shook his head.
"What, your cologne smells so good" I said as I sat down on his bed.
"I know that's why I wear it" he said with a laugh.
He went back into his closet and grabbed something, and I watched as he pulled off his white tank top and threw it on the ground, then started putting on what looked like a dark blue muscle tee. I snickered.
"You're changing from one tank top to another? I asked, my eyebrows raised.
Colby stopped with the shirt halfway up his arms and turned towards me.
"This one is more comfortable" he said with a half smile. My eyes flicked down his torso before I could stop them and I watched Colby smirk as he threw the shirt over his head.
"You know if you wanna feel my muscles all you gotta do is ask" he said smoothly as he walked up to me.
I bursted out in laughter as I rolled my eyes. "Okay mr ego" I said.
"Hey I'm just going off of what I see" he said as he sat down next to me, "You like my body, you can touch it if you want."
I felt my stomach turn again with a slightly different feeling, the atmosphere in the room changing.
"That sounds so weird" I said with a soft giggle.
"Come on it's not that weird, here" he said as he lifted up his shirt and flexed his abs. Damn it was hot.
"Well I suppose I've never touched a guy's abs before..." I said with an overdone thinking face.
"Really?" Colby asked, seeming surprised.
"What, do you assume I've just dated a bunch of supermodels?" I said with a laugh.
Colby smiled and shrugged, "kinda, you would attract them."
I winced and shook my head, "yeah well they wouldn't attract me."
"But you're attracted to me right?" He asked, leaning toward me a little and giving me the look.
I rolled my eyes once again.
"Yeah, you're like an eboy with a supermodel body, perfect combination."
Colby smiled and laughed and he looked down at his exposed stomach, his eyes wondering up to mine as if he was waiting.
I smirked shyly and I brought my hand to the lower part of his stomach, running it up his abs slowly.
The muscles in his stomach were prominent as my fingers slid over the raised skin. My hand made its way all the way up to his chest, and as I ran it over his pex I looked up to catch his dark gaze.
My stomach turned again as I licked my lips and looked down at my hand that I had brought over to his arm. I ran it slowly down as he flexed, knowing he was enjoying what I was doing.
My mind suddenly wandered to something else.
Seeing the way Colby was looking at me just then made me wonder just how he'd look at me if we...
I quickly shook the thought away because it was too much to think about in that moment, and I slowly dropped my hand back into my lap. I looked up to see Colby's eyes were still on me with the same look on his face, and that feeling in my stomach increased.
Who knew after all these years of us being friends he'd be looking at me so... sexually? Is that the word to describe it?
I couldn't wrap my head around how we have flirted, cuddled, now kissed without it being just for fun, and I was beginning to feel something sexual towards him strongly, and I'm pretty sure he was feeling the same for me which is why the tension was so high.
I realized that I had been just sitting there quietly for too long and I cleared my throat.
"That was...nice?" I pushed out, not really knowing what to say.
I could see him trying to contain a laugh and my face couldn't have gotten more red.
"What else am I suppose to say?" I said in defense.
"I don't know, 'your body is so hot' or something" Colby said in a mocking tone, causing me to giggle.
"I mean it is, but I thought saying that would be weird."
"Hey, don't ever be afraid to say what's on your mind" he said, "you know me I don't judge."
"Okay, well your body is hot" I said with a shy smile.
"Thank you, I worked hard for it" Colby said back in a low gravely tone.
We just stood there smiling at each other for a second until I reached around him for the shirt he gave me.
"I'm gonna go change" I said.
I went to the bathroom and changed into the t shirt, and I found myself fixing my hair for some reason in the mirror. I wondered why cause I was just going to bed.
I made my way back to the room where Colby was already in bed, so I shut off the light and crawled in next to him.
He reached over and turned his lamp on and then turned to scoot closer to me. It felt so normal to just crawl into his open arm as it wrapped around my waist, my head laying onto his chest.
We didn't need to say anything, it was a comfortable silence as I let my mind wander to thoughts that I had started to really think about today. I thought about the feeling of Colby's lips, and wondered how they'd feel against my neck, my collar bone... I wondered what his hands would feel like running along my bare skin, touching places that are normally off limits. I wondered if he ever thought about any of that stuff. Would we ever get to that stage? If so, would it be awkward, or the most amazing intimate experience ever?
It was not a question that Colby is good in bed, I know his reputation. He used to be a bit of a player, until he met me. When he met me other girls didn't really seem to matter to him. And my stupid self didn't realize it was because he wanted me.
Now that we were slowly becoming closer, it was hard not to imagine him and I doing things that just friends wouldn't do. I didn't know if or when it would happen, but the tension and excitement of waiting is alright with me. I didn't have as much experience as Colby, but I could imagine it being amazing.
All these thoughts got me a little turned on, which was not the right moment considering we were going to bed, but I felt like doing something a little different to see his reaction. He told me he doesn't judge, so I just needed to be confident.
I moved a little and slowly slid my hand down from his chest, going slow for sensuality but also to not accidentally go too far down. I could feel his body tense at the touch, probably wondering why I was moving so slowly down his stomach. I stopped when I felt the waistline of his sweats, my stomach turning at the thought of what was right below.
My fingers played with the end of his shirt and I briskly slipped my hand underneath. My fingers started running along the outside of his muscles, and I swear he held his breath for a second as I got to the lowest one. I smiled to myself and continued to go slowly up and down, tracing around the lines.
After a couple minutes I decided to stop and end with my hand sliding around his waist under his shirt.
Almost as soon as I stopped, his hand that was on my lower back slid down to my hip and he pulled me against him more. I was still laying on his chest, but as I scooted into him I laid my leg in between his which caused my thigh to lay up over his pelvic region.
I didn't realize how close I had gotten until my leg stopped against something raised up in his sweats, and my body froze instantly. I didn't move my leg away, I didn't move at all. All that was moving was all the thoughts going through my brain.
Did I turn him on? Did he like what I was doing? It had to have been, obviously. It was all just surreal to me.
I guess I got what I wanted out of it, to see if I could get him turned on. I felt my stomach turning even more and I didn't know what to do. If I sat up and kissed him would things get heated? Part of me wanted to, but the other part of me felt it wasn't the right moment. I decided to just lay there.
I exhaled deeply and closed my eyes, forcing my thoughts to clear from my head. I still laid there for a long time until I could tell Colby was asleep, and then I finally fell asleep.