I couldn't believe her. This whole time she felt so negatively towards me. If I had known, I would have approached her differently, spoken to her more carefully. And I did not flaunt being level tens in everything. If anything, I wanted less attention for them. I just wanted to be me. I had calmed down enough that I wasn't hyperventilating anymore and leaned against the wall of the back street. And what she had said about Dath, I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I had seen his look in the store and had wondered how long he had been looking at me that way.
I heard a rock roll against the ground, interrupting my thoughts. I went still and held my breath. Someone was in the alley with me. I inched my dagger from its holster. Someone stepped in to view and I had them against the wall in a manner of seconds, dagger to their throat.
"Name yourself," I snarled.
"You know me. The Axion leader from the opening ceremony about two months ago."
I racked my memory.
"I gave you the card."
Oh. That guy. I pushed the blade in, knowing it cut his skin enough to show him I was serious.
"My name is Volar. I want to help you. You and your friends are in danger."
"What are you talking about in danger? Your zealots are the ones who attacked innocent lives. My friends almost died trying to save a woman and her two kids. All because of them being Rustmutts, whatever that means."
What little of his face I could see, fell in sadness. I loosened my grip. Only a little. I would hear him out.
"That is a disgusting term. It is used to demean those that are half Fae, half human. See, Fae are reduced to nothing by iron. Their magic becomes null. They call them that, because of the traces of iron in a human's blood."
He swallowed against my blade before continuing.
"When two Fae mate, another Fae is born. When a Fae and human mate, the result is trickier. Sometimes, the Fae blood will overpower the human. Like you and your friends, when you began using magic, your Fae blood began to take over. They taught you that much, at least. I hope. Well, with some halflings, their human blood wins out. It all depends on the potency."
The test we took was a potency test. What was this guy playing at?
"Then how are we in danger? You are the danger. The Axion."
Suddenly, he turned his head as far as he could, panicked.
"Let me go, your friend approaches. Should you need me, seek me out. My name is the key. Volar. Memorize it."
Reluctantly, I let him go and he disappeared into the dark corners of the alley. The friend he spoke of, was Faolan. He walked up to me slowly. Not saying a word, he hugged me.
"How'd you find me?"
"I smelled you," he grinned down to me, "Taury sent me to look for you and I followed your scent. She mentioned she had said some nasty things and knew you wouldn't want to see her. So, she sent me to make sure you were ok."
I didn't trust her supposed caring, but I didn't fault Faolan for following through on the request. I put my head back against him. I loved him. He was truly my best friend. But I wasn't being a good friend back to him. I had to fix that.
"How is Evander?"
He loosened his grip but didn't let go. "He's doing better. That trial was so intense Nik. It was like a lightbulb went off inside of me. I didn't want to lose him. I don't know if he feels the same. Probably not. But I want him near me all the same."
Oh, my poor love-struck lapdog.
"Have you told him?"
"No. I don't even know if he likes guys. I mean, he flirts back and stuff, I think. But that could just be him playing around like guys do and I'm over here getting it all wrong. And then there is Jiaxin who is adorable and playful. But my mind always goes back to Evander. What do I do?"
"Hells if I know. I just learned Dath has been in love with me our whole lives and I can't even sit to think about it long enough. And with Taury coming at me the way she did. And my mom and Zayden showing up-" I sniffed again. Stupid tears. It was too much. Faolan grabbed my face and kissed my forehead. Gods he was too sweet. Whoever he picked better be fecking good to him or I was going to end them.
"I know what you need. Get on."
In a flash he had shifted into his brown wolf. I scratched behind his ears until his hind leg got going. Giggling between sniffs, I got on his back and gently grabbed his fur to hold on. Faolan raced us through the city weaving between the tight walkways and crowded streets. He playfully barked at some children and stopped to let them pet him. He licked their faces making them squeal and took off again. We rounded a corner and he slowed. Absently, I petted his neck, loving the feeling of his soft fur between my fingers.
Faolan had taken us to the city docks, Salvare Port. While the rest of the city was shutting down for the night, the port was bustling as if the sun had just risen. The inn was pumping out music. Dock workers loaded and unloaded ships carrying crates of goods imported from other lands. Some men and women slunk against the buildings displaying their assets through what little clothing they wore, ready to sell to the highest buyer. It was a crass place, but I loved it. The people were alive and happy.
Faolan walked us to the pier where someone sat at the edge, feet in the water. As we approached, I could make out a knot on the top of the head. Faolan was getting good at tracking. He had found me, and he had found Alden. I hopped down and gave his furry butt a hug around his middle. His tail wagged and he licked my face. Another tear slipped out from the affection. At our sounds, Alden turned his body towards us in question. He looked so sad.
I removed my shoes and set them on my bag before joining him. The water was cool on my toes and the night was black, no moon in sight. We didn't say anything for a while. Just sat, kicking our feet in the water, looking at the stars reflected in the ocean. Feeling Alden's eyes on me, I looked his way.
"You were crying." A statement and a truth. That one sentence was license to share without judgement. That I was safe. He was safe.
"Yes."
"You have scars on your back."
"Yes."
"Everyone was looking at you in the shop. You looked stunning don't get me wrong. But I saw them." Alden looked me dead in the eye, the most serious I'd ever seen him. "Who hurt you?"
"My father." I admitted for the first time. His fist clenched against the decking. He kept eye contact, waiting. I took a deep breath. I had never told anyone so bluntly. I prepared myself to relive the horrors.
"When Zayden was born, father changed. He no longer played with me, or held me, fed me, or clothed me. Zayden was his world. He wasn't kind to him, not like he used to be with me. But he made sure he got Zay what he needed for school and such. One night, he came home drunk a little after Zay was born. He spent every last copper my parents had saved on gambling, booze, and whores. In one night. In the weeks and months after that, he got worse. He would go to work with Garren's dad at the lumber mill but would show up late and drunk. Lord Zondervan fired him, and father refused to get a job after that. At the time, Mom had no skills that I knew of. So, with my uncle's help, I learned how to hunt. Catching small game at first."
I splashed some water with my feet. Distracting myself from voicing the hard part.
"When I began hunting, Father saw that I was bringing home meat. He demanded I sell the hides and bring the money to him. I had stashed so many weeks' worth of hides. When I sold them, it was so many in one go and I brought home many gold pieces. Which, he spent immediately. The next day, I sold only one. He got angry that he didn't have the money to buy his favorite whore. He was expecting the same wage every time I went to the market. That night was the first time he hit me. He must have gotten some sick joy from it because from then on, the punching turned into whippings."
I wiped my face unashamed. The man had seen me vomit and ugly cry. What was another cry session compared to those?
"He would," I sniffed, "he would have me pick my own willow branch and if he didn't think it was big enough, he would go find his own. If he had to get his own, I would be whipped more, and harder. It was rare, that the ones I picked were good enough."
I wiped my soaking face with the bottom of my new shirt. My voice was rising as I spoke, and I didn't care who heard anymore.
"My uncle trained me to defend myself. I was going to do it. I had it all planned out. I was going to wait for him to finish with mom that night. He took her ever night, and hard. The sounds hurt as much as the scars. I was going to walk in there and slit his throat in his sleep and free us. When I had my blade there, Mom was awake and just looking at me. She wasn't even mad or surprised. But she just shook her head. She had told me no. So, for seven years, I have been enduring it, for her. For Zayden. And then I came here. And that neck wound you saw was his last whipping. When my friends and I heard about the university, I had only come to earn the gold, so I could feed my family through winter. And now-"
I choked on my words. He was watching me. Listening intently, like a solid rock I had never had before. I cleared my throat.
"Now, Taury is pissed at me because she thinks I'm flaunting everything good in my life right now. And the truth is, I was just surviving before. For the first time, I want to live."
I looked up at Alden. And his eyes held flames. He grabbed both of my hands and brought them under his chin, my fists small in his hands.
"Where you see broken skin, I see a girl who used her body as a shield for her heart. You protected it from turning into the ugly right in front of you each day. Surviving, is the most beautiful thing you could have ever done."
That shattered every shred of control I had. His words drove deep into my soul. He spoke with such understanding. I let my forehead drop against his as he held onto my hands. His lips brushed my knuckles, painfully tender. I cried for minutes, an hour, I wasn't sure. Tears silently flowing. When I had calmed down for the second time that night, he dropped our hands to our legs, but didn't let go.
"Do you remember when I told you that I understood that first day?"
"When I was vomiting? Yeah."
"I want to show you something."
Alden stood up and tentatively unbuttoned his shirt. Confused, I stood up with him. He shrugged the shirt down his arms and dropped it to the pier. His eye held such sadness. He turned around so his back was facing me. Gods above. It was in tatters. Every where were old burns and stripes. I couldn't help myself, I touched him. Ran my fingers over the brutality. He shivered and hung his head in shame. No. I leaned forward and kissed his back. Kissed away the horrors he had endured. We were the same. Without warning, he spun around quickly and caught my kisses with his own.
His mouth slammed into mine. A growl beginning with him and ending with me. My chest pounded with fire. He sucked my bottom lip in and ran his tongue along it. I joined mine with his. He tasted sweet and spicy. An intoxicating cocktail that had me wanting for more. His hand came behind my head, gently guiding me in our devastating kiss. I moved closer to him, our chests touching and wrapped my arms around him.
My knee landed between his legs, causing him to nip at my lip and pull me in tighter, using his other hand at the small of my back. The sounds of the port grew louder as the workers went about their business. And still, we couldn't get enough of each other. Hands roamed at a rapid pace. I wanted to cover his back in my touch so he could remember mine and not the other. His hand had made its way to the bare skin of my back, but no further. The sounds of the workers got closer causing us to pause. Alden stole one last taste and broke away. My lips pleasantly numb and swollen.
"Oi, you there! If you want to get hot and bothered, go to the Inn!" A local laborer had discovered us. We laughed as we shoved our feet into our shoes, grabbed our stuff and ran.