a/n: some of yall bout to be real mad at me.......but at least the title is coming back full swing 🙌
——
february 7
"i'm about to go on stage in five, i've gotta go." y/n sighed over the phone. ariana smiled softly. "that's alright. we can talk after, yeah? uh, good luck." ariana spoke, brushing her fingers through her hair.
y/n frowned. weird.
"a-alright, talk later. i love you, ari." she replied before quickly hanging up the phone. a stage manager, sadie, brushed past y/n as she talked to someone over her earpiece. "hey, sadie! can you put my phone back in my dressing room when you can? thanks." sadie smiled and gladly took her phone, instantly walking in the direction of the dressing room.
y/n sighed again, running her hands through her hair. no matter how many times she had done this, she always got nervous right before. she cracked her knuckles and her neck, shaking out her legs and her arms like she always did before a show. she was back in her home state of louisiana which gave her some piece of mind, and she knew that miles and his parents were here, too. her friends that had stayed in new orleans after high school were also there.
"carter, you good man?" frank asked as he slapped her shoulder, snapping her out of it. y/n shook her head out, "yeah. i'm good. just a little nervous, like always."
frank smiled a little, ruffling her already messy hair. "you'll do good, kid. you always do. now, go have fun, you literally have like thirty seconds."
——
y/n groaned to herself, turning away from the crowd as she wiped her face with her shirt. people started to hoot behind her, making her laugh as she turned back around.
"shhh," she whispered into the mic, shaking her finger. "my girlfriend will get mad, don't do that." she joked, a smile painting across her face. the crowd laughed and y/n joined with them, her heart only growing three sizes.
performing was one of her favorite things to do. to hear the crowd singing with her, some holding their partners as they sang to each other, and friends clutching to each other as the cried.
y/n ultimate goal with her music was to make people feel. and every time she performed, it confirmed that she had succeeded. whether it was love, sadness, or happiness; she had succeeded.
"okay, okay, shut up now." she held up her hand, shaking it to silence the crowd. they went quiet, and you could quite literally hear a pin drop. y/n raised her eyebrows in shock. "damn y'all really went quiet."
everyone laughed before it went silent again, and y/n walked back to the front of the stage. she took a seat on the stool, propping up her feet on the bar.
"okay, sooo," y/n dragged out, kicking her feet like a schoolgirl, earning a few giggles. "i'm like...in looovee." the crowd erupted in screams again, and y/n dramatically pushed her invisible hair behind her ear, even if it was tied up and out of her face.
"i know, right?! and y'all know what i do when i'm in love...i write a shit ton of music. so, for our last song—" they erupted again in to sounds of complaints. "—ugh, i know! but girl i need sleep and so do you freaks. but! for our last song tonight, i want to play something that no one has heard yet."
screams and more screams.
y/n turned to the band and gave them a thumbs up, grabbing her guitar for one last time that night as she swung it across her body. turning back to the crowd, she flashed them a smile. "ight, let's go."
"Watching the video that you sent me
The one where you're showering with wet hair dripping
You know that I'm obsessed with your body
But it's the way you smile that does it for me"
"you're fucking joking me, no fucking way!" a girl screamed from the crowd, making people that could her hear laugh. y/n smiled, her fingers still strumming her guitar as she thought about ariana.
"It's so sweet, knowing that you love me
Though we don't need to say it to each other, sweet
Knowing that I love you, and running my fingers
through your hair
It's so sweet"
loving ariana really is sweet. with one simple look, y/n knew that she loved her, and ariana knew that y/n loved her back.
they didn't have anything to worry about.
right?
"Watching the video where you're lying
In your red lingerie ten times nightly
You know I think your skin's the perfect color
But it's always your eyes that pull me under"
as she sang the chorus again, the only thing soaring through her mind was talking to ariana again. even if it had only been a few weeks since she left for tour, she still missed her like crazy.
"And I will gladly break it, I will gladly break my heart for you
And I will gladly break it, I will gladly break my heart for you
And I will gladly break it, I will gladly break my heart for you
And I will gladly break it, I will gladly break my heart for you.
It's so sweet, knowing that you love me
Though we don't need to say it to each other, sweet
Knowing that I love you, and running my fingers through your hair
It's so sweet"
as she closed off the song with the instrumental, y/n's eyes scanned the crowd. there were two girls that were crying as they held onto each other, mumbling things to each other that y/n couldn't read. another pair of girls, the shorter one holding onto the other as they both looked at each other, eyes filled with love.
to their right were two teenage boys, and y/n smiled as the one with blonde hair took the other by his cheeks, placing a soft kiss onto his lips, pulling back and whispering that he loved him. the other boy smiled, hugging him tightly.
a girl standing alone held up a small sign in front of her chest, mindful of people behind her, and y/n was only able to read it because she was in the very front, right in front of her. my boyfriend broke up with me a week ago, but it's okay because i'm here now and ur better than him lol ; the sign read, a big red heart drawn next to the message.
y/n gave the girl a frown before mouthing that she loved her, throwing her a wink. the girls eyes widened as she jumped in her spot slightly. "i love you too!" she yelled, a wide smile painted across her lips.
y/n smiled back as the song finally ended and she gave the crowd one last sweep with her eyes. she really had succeeded.
——
just an hour later, y/n was back in her dressing room after a long shower. her hair was still wet as she laid down on the couch, trying to relax after the long day. but then a knock at the door interrupted her, and y/n obviously not wanting to get up just shouted.
"who is it?" she called with her eyes closed, her arms draped around her stomach. another knock. y/n rolled her eyes, pushing herself off of the couch. "bruh, what the hell."
she swung open the door lazily and wiped her eyes. "hello?" she asked, but her eyes widened as she saw who was behind her door. "are—are you real?"
ariana smiled softly and nodded, "yes i'm real. obviously." y/n cheesed as she lunged forward, wrapping her arms around ariana's waist as she lifted her from the floor.
"i missed you," y/n mumbled into ariana shoulder before pressing a kiss to it. ariana seemed a bit reluctant to return the hug just as tightly, making y/n frown a bit.
"yeah, i missed you too." ariana replied.
i...don't like that. y/n thought to herself, her brows stitching together.
she gently placed ariana back on the floor, gently placing her hands on her cheeks. "are you alright, baby? you're acting a bit off...?" she asked, her thumbs brushing ariana's cheekbones.
ariana put on a fake smile that y/n could see right through. "i'm alright, y/n/n. just tired from my flight is all." ariana shrugged, trying to brush it off.
y/n saw right through it, but she didn't want to press her.
"okay. c-can i kiss you?" she wouldn't usually ask, but since ariana was acting so weird she didn't want to risk anything. ariana nodded gently, craning her neck to meet y/n's lips halfway.
y/n could feel her stomach explode with the butterflies she had missed for the past few weeks. all ariana felt was nauseous.
——
back at y/n's hotel, she was pulling ariana's luggage behind her as they walked to the door. she unlocked it with her keycard and let ariana in first before entering herself.
y/n laid ariana's suitcase next to hers on the floor before stretching out her back. "i'm gonna go brush my teeth. you wanna get ready for bed?" she asked, rubbing the back of her neck.
ariana was sitting on the bed, staring at her hands. "sure."
y/n's stomach turned. her sudden shortness was reminding her of when they had first met and ariana absolutely hated her guts; and she really didn't like that.
she swallowed the growing lump in her throat as she walked to her bathroom, grabbing her toothbrush. she wet it a little before squirting the toothpaste on, sticking the brush into her mouth.
she leaned against the counter as she brushed, her mind racing with countless worried thoughts.
did i do something? maybe say something wrong on the phone? was i not calling or texting enough?
fuck fuck fuck fuck
y/n turned back around after a few minutes, spitting out the paste before rinsing her mouth with mouthwash. she took a few moments to herself as she chewed at her nails before she went back into the main room.
after growing back her balls, she exited the bathroom and walked back to her luggage, pulling out a sweatshirt. she pulled it on over her head and looked back at ariana, noticing she had changed into a pair of sweats but was still wearing the same shirt; a pale pink, long sleeved, skintight shirt with small roses littered all over it.
"uh, you ready for bed?" y/n asked, scratching her nose awkwardly. ariana didn't even look up as she nodded, flicking off the lamp before she laid down in bed, covering herself with the comforter.
y/n sighed again, her heart feeling heavy as she walked over to the bed and climbed in herself. ariana had her back to her, and y/n hesitantly scooted closer, slinging her arm over her waist.
ariana closed her eyes as she let out a shaky breath, y/n unknowingly doing the same. her finger subconsciously tapped against ariana's covered stomach as she fluttered her eyes back open. ariana opened hers at nearly the same time, her heart dropping to the pit in her stomach.
they both took a cautious, deep breath. and at the same time;
"i love you."
"this isn't working anymore."
end of part one
————————
oopsie!!
part two will come soon.
and i promise, no matter how much pain and suffering i put on you, i really do love y'all <3333!!!
lol.