Meki's POV
My body jolted forward just as the scream escaped my lips. My eyes wide open as sweat trickled down my cold skin. The bedroom door swung open, Mila and Nick rushing to my side. Mila hugging me from behind while my brother sat in front of me, asking me all kinds of questions.
"Mek, talk to us. What's wrong?" Mila said as she ran soothing circles along my back, coaxing my lungs to breathe slower.
I shake my head, still unable to catch my breath. My muscles trembling beneath my brother's touch as he holds my hands, instructing me to breath in and out. In and out. In and out.
"Good. Just like that." He says softly, his thumbs holding the inside of my wrist as he counts my pulse. "Whatever it is, we're here."
A choked sob bursts in my chest as I fall back on my sister who catches me easily. Her small arms wrapped around me. She was almost half the size of me, yet it felt like she could hold the entirety of my weight.
"Everything's okay. You're safe. You're home. You're with your family. Let us help you. Please Mek, talk to us." Mila says with an easiness to her voice. She hasn't called me Mek in years. Since we were kids.
I nod, trying to gain the strength to speak but every time I open my mouth another cry comes from it. An Alpha could only be strong for so long. In front of people I have off the eminence of power, stability, and strength. But Alpha's feel pain, anxiety, and terror, just like everyone else. And it lives within me every second of every day. One of the Alpha's in Serbia once told me that as Alpha's feel more than a regular wolf, our emotions heightened to our entire pack, and it was why we had such strong mates. Because no wolf could ever bare this alone. They needed that other half to help them. But I didn't have mine. Not yet.
I look up to my brother, and lean into my sister's touch. They were here. Kaiden might not be, but they were. Even after all I've done.
"I-" I choked. "I still dream about that night." I barely say, my voice strained with the memories, the pure agony I felt from them.
Nick's confused stare changes, darkens into something of rage and despair. Mila stilled behind me.
"I forget- that's it's not real. I-I think I'm back there. In that p-place. With the k-knife in my hands. The blood." I choke. "I don't want to hurt them. I promise I never wanted to-"
"We know, Meki. We know. You're nothing like him. Just you being here proves that you're not." Mila says, resuming her soothing motions.
Nick nods despite the murderous glare in his eyes. Though I don't think it's directed towards me. "You're as much his victim as they were. I didn't think you were, for a long time I thought you were just like him. But everything you've done, what you're trying to do for the pack. For Kaiden. For our family. You fought against it, what he tried to make you. And you're so strong, Meki. So fucking strong. And we love you. You are our brother, you are home, and we love you. But you don't have to do this alone."
Mila nods, laying her head on my back to cover me with her scent. "We see what you're trying to do. To be the strong Alpha she taught you to be, redeeming yourself and the title. But we're here too. We endured him for years. You're not the only one he tortured. And we have as much Alpha blood as you do, title or no title. We are responsible for this pack. Let us help you. At least until Kaiden can."
I scoff, though it came out more like another sob. "If he even wants this life. He was here and I just ran out like a coward. I wouldn't blame him if he didn't want me, or all of this. I wouldn't even want me. I'm so fucked up."
"I think you're underestimating him." Nick says. "Yes, you didn't use the time he was here to talk to him, but there will be other chances. And you need to remember that you're talking about the kid who came from absolutely nothing. Who's father left him, who's mom has to work three jobs just to keep a roof over their heads. Kade comes to practice every day without fail. He gives every game, big or small, his all. And he feels something for you. I can see it in his eyes. It's more than just attraction. He sees something in you. You just have to give him the chance to look closer."
I nod weakly. We stay silent for a moment as my fear racks through me, adrenaline coursing through my veins. My heart beating slower and slower as I bask in the scents of my siblings who give me words of encouragement.
"Will you stay with me tonight?" I ask lowly. Almost embarrassed by my weakness. I've never shown anyone this side of me, not even the Alpha's in Siberia.
"Of course." Mila says softly, her arms pulling me back onto the bed. My head hitting the pillow as she lays next to me. Nick on the other side, pulls the blanket up to cover the three of us.
I have a California king, so we all fit easily. I cuddle up next to them like we used to to when we were kids. Sometimes when it was really bad, we'd all shift and lie on the floor behind the bed. I always stayed up to keep watch of the locked door while our father did monsterous things underneath us. I can still hear the screams.
"Stop thinking about it." Mila whispers after a while. "Think about him."
And I do.
I wake to an empty bed. The smell of breakfast wafting from the downstairs kitchen. Laughter could be heard from throughout the house. Peeling myself from the warm blankets, I grab a throw blanket and wrap it around my upper body as I trudge down the stairs. Taking each step slowly as my brain comes back online.
The smell of bacon, pancakes, and cheesy eggs fill the room. I round the corner and find Nick at the stove while Mila pours juice into three cups.
"Morning, Mek. Orange juice?" She chirps happily.
"Sure." I manage, voice hoarse. But she doesn't say anything, just smiles and pours the liquid.
Nick turns around and gives me a wink. "Today is a big day, big bro. Need to keep your strength up."
My brows furrow. "Why is today a big day?" I ask confusedly, searching my thoughts for what I must've forgotten.
"Today, I am going to set you up with your dear mate." Nick grins, flipping a pancake before he turns back to me. "I have it all planned out. I'm going to ask him to come with me to the sports store for new basketball shoes. You'll tag along and in the middle of it I'll see an old friend and leave you two alone to talk. And bam. Let the mating moon magic commence."
I frown even deeper. "This doesn't sound like a good idea."
Mila passes me, setting the cups down on the table. "It's a great idea. You're just nervous about being alone with him for the first time."
I pull the blanket tighter over my shoulder, a sick but giddy feeling taking hold of my stomach. "Shouldn't we just wait until the game this weekend?"
Nick points his spatula at me, "no. This shit is taking too long and he obviously likes you. If we want to get this done before the heat hits, then we need to speed things up."
"But I thought we were taking it slow. Humans like it slow." I say uncertainly.
"They do." Nick says. "But that was before we knew if he'd feel something for you or if we'd have to work up to it. Obviously you sped that up when you sent him a kinky dream dm."
I blanche. "I didn't- that's not what- how do you even know about that?"
Nick grins even wider, flipping another pancake onto a plate. "Kaiden and I hung out for a few hours yesterday and he told me all about this weird dream of his, where he dreamt of a voice in his head, a voice that sounded like yours." He shook his head and chuckled, "and I'm pretty sure no human would say all that stuff."
I feel sick. This is gross. I should run, right? Yeah, that sounds right. I should leave the country. Hide somewhere in Mexico for the next few decades. No one would find me there.
Nick turned more serious, "Look, it's fine. Don't stress about it. It's natural to have dreams about your mate, especially with how long you've been waiting to find him. And having to keep all this a secret, it's a lot."
Mila touches the side of my arm, making me jump a little. "You can't help what you dream, or if you want you mate. But I'll try to see if there's anything we can do to keep Kade from hearing it."
Nick turns off the stove and brings a plate full of cakes to the table. "And the only reason he told me was because we're good friends. You'll have a your whole lives to share secrets so don't start getting jealous like you did yesterday. Won't make things any easier."
I huff, knowing they were all right. But it didn't make it feel any better that my mate was confiding in my brother about my sexual dreams. And when the hell did my wolf get so possessive? That was not something I had before.
This mate stuff was a lot more than people led on.