I felt so bad. My sleep was terrible and my arm hurt so bad, but not as much as my heart.
I was drifting in and out of sleep when voices interrupted me.
"She's resting."
"I need to talk to her."
"Not now Brian. Come back later."
What was Brian doing here I wondered.
"It's important."
"I know it's important, this whole thing is a mess but she needs to sleep first."
"I'm awake." I called out.
My voice sounded weird, nasally and croaky.
Mom opened the door, peeking in. "Sleep first Bella."
I wasn't going to argue with her, I just wished I could sleep.
I closed my eye's, trying, until Mom came in.
"Here sweety." She said holding out another pill. "Take it Bella, you really need sleep."
I really did and my arm, my arm was just hurting so bad.
I sat up and took it with a glass of water.
"What did Brian want?" I asked.
"To talk about Matt."
Just the mention of his name hurt and I closed my eye's, laying back down.
"It'll be okay Isabella." She whispered, kissing my cheek.
I wished she was right, but I didn't think it was going to be okay, not at all.
At least the pill worked and I drifted off to sleep, an unsettled sleep, full of weird dreams, dreams of Matt.
I dreamt of him with another girl, always with the same girl, and it hurt. I dreamt I saw them at the beach. They were laughing and smiling and I was sitting on my towel crying, sobbing, I was trying to stop myself and the more I tried, the louder I got.
"Bella." Matt said, walking over to me. "Is that you?"
I looked at him. He didn't look any different.
"Don't cry." He said softly.
I couldn't stop myself, I kept on crying.
"My arm hurts." I sobbed, and it did, even in this dream it hurt.
"I know baby." He whispered, wrapping his arm's around me.
And oh god it felt so real. I could feel his warmth. I could smell his beautiful smell. How could I live without him?
"I wish...."
"What do you wish baby?"
I couldn't answer him when what I really wanted to say was that I wished everything had been different, that I wished I'd never left, that I wished we were still together.
"I just wished you still loved me."
I felt his arm's tighten around, I felt his breath on my cheek, I felt his lips against my ear. It all felt so real.
"I do you silly girl."