i decided today to go visit rhys and tell him. the longer i wait the harder it will be and he'll only be mad at me for not telling him sooner.
it had been nearly 2 months since i'd last visited him. i didn't know how i was gunna tell him. i felt sick to my stomach.
i put on some leggings and threw a hoodie over the top. i put my hair in a bun and left my face bare. i wasn't feeling like makeup today
i grabbed my keys and bag and walked into the kitchen
'you want me to drive you' jada offered
'nah it's okay' i smiled 'i'll be fine'
'sure?' she asked
'mhm' i said 'thank you though'
she pulled me in for a hug
'mel don't worry you know he loves you' she said 'he'll understand'
'i should've told him weeks ago' i sighed
'you weren't ready' she replied
'you'll be fine' she smiled 'just let me know if you need anything'
'i got you girl you know i do' she said
____________________
i walked into the visiting area. my heart was racing. i saw rhys sat down in front of a table waiting. god i missed him
i made my way over and sat down opposite him
'do you know how long 2 months is in here' he sounded pissed
'i know rhys i'm sor-'
he quickly cut me off
'i don't even wanna hear it mel'
'waiting every fucking day to see if i had a visitor'
'texting you'
'calling you'
'and you just don't fucking answer me'
'u know what that shits like'
'fucking draining mel'
'love of my life don't even wanna see me in here'
'couldn't even fucking text me giving me an explanation' his voice raised slightly
'i'm fucking done mel'
'rhys' my eyes filled with tears 'what'
'you heard me i'm done'
'don't wanna be with someone who won't even give me the time of day'
'when i'm fucking locked' he kissed his teeth 'once a fucking week wont come see me'
'fuck this man' he rolled his eyes
'don't even wanna look at you to be honest'
'rhys let me explain'
'i don't wanna hear nothing that comes from your mouth'
'who you fucking now then'
'fredo?'
'hell even dave who knows with you'
'fucking whore man'
'you can't be serious' i said
'you actually think that of me rhys'
'explains what's kept you busy recently'
'if you let me fucking explain' i sighed
'go on mel' he replied 'wanna hear your excuse now'
i wiped my eyes from crying and took a deep breath
'i lost the baby'
his face dropped as the words left my mouth
'what' he asked
'what do you mean you lost it'
'rhys i had a miscarriage'
he put his head into his hands and shook his head
'how' he said 'everything was fine'
'they don't know what caused it' i answered
'did you drink' he asked 'smoke?'
my eyes widened as he spoke
'you're tryna blame this on me?'
'i'm just saying' he replied
'when did you find out' he questioned
'the day after i saw you last'
'what you've known for time and didn't tell
me' he seemed mad
'rhys i couldn't bring myself to tell you' i sighed 'or even come and see you'
'so you just kept it from me for 2 months'
'rhys it's been the worst 2 months of my life i couldn't even get out of bed'
'couldve texted me' he replied 'even fucking called me'
'but you wait 2 fucking months to tell me that our kid died'
'i'm so sorry rhys' i cried 'i wanted to tell y-'
'but you didn't fucking tell me' he interrupted 'just kept it from me'
'that night i called you and you were upset' he sighed 'the day you found out wasn't it'
i nodded
'you were crying over that' he said 'you knew this whole fucking time'
'even on that call did you not think to tell me'
'i didn't wanna tell you over the phone'
'yeah yeah you wanted to tell me in person' he kissed his teeth 'like this shit attempt you're doing now'
'i know i fucked up rhy' i sighed 'i fucking know i should've told you sooner'
'nah you can go now' he said 'i don't wanna see you'
'what' i asked
'you heard me'
'so you don't even wanna talk about this' i questioned
'i told you were done' he shrugged 'you losing this kid makes me wanna be with you even less'
'it's your fault you lost the baby mel'
my heart sank as those words came out his mouth
'are you for real rhys' i said
'yes mel'
'like that we're done' i asked
he nodded as tears formed in his eyes
'for good rhys' i picked my bag up off the floor 'no more second chances this time'
he nodded in agreement
____________________
i made my way back to my car. i could barely even see my vision was so blurry from crying
i unlocked the car and got in
i leant my head against the steering wheel and just cried
i couldn't believe this. i thought he'd of understood, been there for me. not blamed it on me
i know it wasn't fair on him not telling him but i couldn't bring myself to do it. i was worried he'd act this way.
i sat in my car for a while deeping what just happened before driving back to my apartment
i opened the door to see jada and dave cuddling on the sofa
'yo' dave shouted still staring at the tv
'hey babe' jada looked up 'woah what happened'
i sat down inbetween them and put my head in my hands
'mel what happened' dave asked
i shook my head unable to speak from crying so much
dave put his hand on my back and rubbed it
'mel' he repeated
'he broke up with me' i cried
'what' they said in sync
'he fucking did what' jadas jaw dropped
dave pulled me into a hug
'mel just breathe' he stayed hugging me
'what exactly happened' jada asked
'i got there and he just had ago ago at me saying how he's been waiting for months for me to show up' i took a deep breath 'then he accused me of cheating'
'i told him about the baby and he basically told me it's my fault i had a miscarriage and that me losing the baby makes him wanna be with me less'
'i don't think he'll forgive me for keeping it from him'
'he told me that he's done for good'
'are you serious' dave asked
'nah he's dead' jada said 'who the fuck does he think he is'
'is he fucking crazy' she continued 'what the fuck man'
'i will kill him myself' she added