𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐒 𝐀𝐆𝐎.
𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑'𝐒 𝐄𝐕𝐄.
❝WHERE THE FUCK IS Caswell?" Marcus groaned, kicking his empty packet of chips to the side. Anders's supply of bottles was running low, and EJ still wasn't back. "It's been like half an hour, seriously. How long does it take to pick up a fucking bottle and walk?"
"Maybe he got lost," David sneered, and Marcus stretched just to push him.
"Yeah, right..."
Marcus's house was barely half the size of EJ's living room. He'd had to throw some chairs on the front porch, and open up the backyard just to have enough space for everyone.
He made sure that he told everyone that upstairs was off limits, even though he was certain that some people were already up there from the pattering noises that could be heard from below. Marcus shrugged it off—he didn't really care if people were wandering around his house, as long as they didn't find his dad's bedroom liquor collection, and they didn't break anything.
CRASH! A loud clatter sounded from upstairs, and everyone around looked around for a second. There was nothing broken around them, so everyone just kept dancing.
"Oooh, someone's broken something..." Adrien cooed to him from the kitchen counter. "You're going to be in trouble." He said in a sing-song voice, to tease him, but Marcus wasn't smiling.
"Damn it," Marcus stood up, grumbling. "I'm gonna kill whoever's up there."
He pushed through people, not apologizing when he bumped into a girl and made her knock some of her 'fruit juice' to the ground. No one was going to be having fun if they'd gone into his dad's room. His heart pounded in his chest, thinking about what would happen when his dad got home and he saw a bottle-shaped hole in his fridge.
Moving past chattering students, he walked up the stairs, gripping the handlebar as he stomped to the top. When he got to the landing, he heard indistinct whispers coming from his father's room. Someone was in there.
He pushed open the door, and his mouth fell open. His vision had to adjust to what he was seeing before his brain did.
He could tell who the girl was. It was the girl EJ had met at camp—Gabriella, or Clarabelle, or Marian The Librarian, or another guy's girlfriend was sitting on top of a guy that was definitely not Ricky Bowen. They were both covered by a duvet, but he could see what they were doing very well.
Marcus's open-mouthed shock morphed into a surprised smile, the girl whipped her head around, and he saw who the boy underneath her was. "Holy shit...oh my god."
He left the door open, racing to get out of there. He didn't look back, he didn't want to see anything else. No matter how hilariously stupid it was. The sound of rushed scrambling gathered in his ears, and he could hear the heavy patter of EJ's bare footsteps on his wooden floor as he ran after him.
"Wait." EJ ran in front of him, still shirtless, grabbing his arm and begging him to stop. "Marcus, wait, you can't tell anyone."
"Oh, I'm telling everyone!" Marcus chuckled. "The guys are gonna lose it..."
"No!" Nini's voice sounded out above theirs, and they turned around to see the junior girl, tying up her boots. "You can't tell anyone. Y-you can't...Ricky might find out."
"Ricky?" EJ stumbled. He looked lost in space. "You didn't tell me anything about Ricky."
Marcus's smile faded when he saw his friend's face turn pale.
𝐍𝐎𝐖.
The theatre kids were crowded in Slices, sharing pepperoni pizza, and cupcakes, and laughing. Ricky pushed the door open, and Big Red came running to him, holding a cupcake with a little teacup sitting on top in his hand.
"Ricky! You came after all!" Big Red cheered. "Did you have fun?" he asked him, with a wink.
"Not really, no..." Ricky huffed. "Have you seen Nini?"
"Yeah, uh...she's right over there next to Kourtney, with the rest of the guys. Why?" Ricky barely listened to the rest of what he said before he walked straight toward her, forcing himself not to shout too loud, "Yo, Nini! Can we talk?" He put a smile on his face.
"Right now?"
He nodded, "Yes, right now."
"Ricky, I'm kind of in the middle of something right now," Nini smiled, pointing with her eyes at everyone around them. But he didn't care.
"I know what you did."
"Know?" People were looking at them, so Nini continued to smile and laughed a little. "Know what?"
Ricky let out a deep breath. "EJ told me."
"Oh..." Nini's voice cracked. "I-I'm sorry."
"How could you do that to me?"
"Can we talk in private?"
"You had the opportunity to make this private," Ricky declared—his calm voice faltering.
"I'm sorry. I am so sorry but we couldn't. And, I wanted to keep us together, but I got lost. It wasn't like you weren't going to break up with me anyway, Ricky..."
"You can't be fucking serious!" There was a small gasp around the shop.
"Ricky...calm down," Kourtney said. "You're scaring the customers."
Ricky shuffled in place, his fists twisted in rage. His throat still hurt from crying. He was still holding back more tears, and a massive lump that threatened to rise. "You let me find out from EJ..."
She looked ashamed, he thought, but he wasn't really sure because her eyes kept wandering, so it looked more like she was embarrassed he was confronting her in front of all their friends.
"All the things you said about wanting to be friends were complete shit! You're not my friend..."
"I still care about you, Ricky. I was there for you when your parents split up—when you were at your worst. I let go of all my doubts to let you back in, and I wanted it to work. I wanted us to be together. But, it just wasn't working. We weren't connecting anymore."
"But we were still together, I was giving you time to process—"
"And I was trying to give that to you! But it became exhausting." Nini walked up to him, getting out of her seat. She pulled him down the corridor so they could talk in private, but everyone's eyes were still on them as they left the room. "I felt so guilty. Why do you think I broke up with you?"
"You could've just told me how you really felt instead of leaving me in the dark! You made me think that I'd done everything wrong..."
Nini was crying now.
"You didn't," Nini said, trying to wipe her tears. "Even though we didn't work out, I still wanted you in my life. I still wanted you as my friend."
"Well, I think it's a little too late for that." Ricky bit his lip. He could feel the lump starting to rise. "Bye, Nini."
No one said a word to him when he raced out of the shop, walking straight past everyone and their 'concerned' queries. They were all still watching him, mouths open and eyes wide, but his rage had made him completely blind to anything else except going straight home.
Ricky couldn't stop crying that night. When he returned home, he'd walked through the door with red eyes, snot clogged in his nose and worse than that, he was all sweaty—he'd worked himself up yelling at EJ, then Nini, then walking home because he didn't have a ride anymore. His legs hurt, his throat burned, and his chest swelled.
"Ricky? What happened?" Mike asked when he entered his room and saw him curled up on his bed.
"I don't really wanna talk about it."
"Okay," Mike said, smiling. "Well, I'll be here if you need me."
It was times like these he wished his mom were still here.
For the first time in weeks, EJ missed not having to go to rehearsal every week. He needed now, more than ever, a reason to look at Ricky across the room and walk up to him without anyone questioning it. Instead, he was staring at him in the halls, and watching as he kept his head up, and his eyes straight ahead when he would walk past him.
He'd tried to go to his house three times. Once on Saturday, then the next week on Wednesday, and he'd tried again the week after on Monday morning before school. Mike had answered the door, he'd asked for Ricky, and he'd told him that he was "busy." He then asked him if everything was alright. EJ didn't know how to answer, but he knew that it answered a lot, because Mike told him to "give Ricky some time."
But, it had been four weeks now since Ricky had slammed his front door, and he still couldn't even look at him.
He walked up to him at his locker, and he didn't turn around. His eyes stayed focused on the two books he was shoving into his locker.
"Ricky," EJ muttered, looking at him. His lip was stiff, and he could see that he was trying his best not to look at him. He was staring into the locker even though he'd already put his books inside, and he was gripping the locker door so hard that his knuckles were turning white. "Please. We need to talk..."
"Do we?" Ricky slammed his locker closed, twisting it quickly before he turned to face him, and struggled to keep eye contact. He was staring at the floor more than anything.
"I know you're still angry, but I'm sorry. I didn't want it to happen like this. I never meant what I said."
"That's good. I'm glad you never meant it, 'cause it's not like I was crying into my pillow for weeks after you told me I deserved to be cheated on."
"I didn't mean that...I shouldn't have said it," EJ leaned in. "Things kinda went off the rails."
"Um, yeah." Ricky sighed and tried to shrug lightly, but his whole body convulsed. He could practically feel EJ's lips touching his, a few weeks ago and he would've pulled him in right there. If that night had gone successfully, he would be making out with him right now. He pressed his lips together and tried to remind himself that there was a very good reason they weren't doing that. "I have to go," he told him, and he knew that they both heard his voice crack from the scathing look of pity EJ had in his eyes.
"I'm sorry..." he heard EJ's voice whisper to him, and his heart jolted inside his chest, but he kept on walking.
Ricky couldn't be around EJ. He couldn't talk to him. He didn't even want to see him.
Tears were about to fall down his eyes when he heard the timbre of his voice, and remembered hearing it in his ears, or feeling it buzz down his neck, or telling him not to end it.
The craziest thing was that Ricky had wanted to forgive him instantly. He'd wanted to forget about what he did, ignore it, let bygones be bygones because he really, really liked him but then it kept getting worse. And, EJ had really hurt him. He felt like he'd been stabbed in the back and the heart at the same time.
Ricky turned into the bathroom, and when he turned around, EJ wasn't there. He hadn't followed him, thankfully. He was still facing the other way walking inside and didn't register anything wrong with it until he crashed into someone else.
"Sorry, dude—oh," Ricky's eyes narrowed. "Hi, Marcus."
The senior instantly had a smile on his face, like he'd flicked a switch to put on a douchebag smirk as soon as he saw him.
"Hey," the boy pushed a hand through his dark hair, making sure it stayed in place with all the gel he used to push it back. "So..." he dragged out the word, "still running away from your boyfriend?"
"No." Ricky flicked open a tap, letting the water run over his hands. He needed to convince he was there for another reason, but judging from the shit-eating grin on his face, it was pointless. "He's not my boyfriend..."
"I'm guessing he told you then."
Ricky grunted a "yes." He shook his hands, a little happy when some of it flicked onto Marcus's stupid smile. "You've been giving me all this advice...it would have been to know what I was getting myself into."
"And what would have changed?" Marcus asked, leaning against the wall next to the dryer. "You and EJ still have your cute little thing where you've both dated the same girl, and you were falling for him regardless. Does the fact he got to that level before you did really mean anything?"
"Yes," Ricky answered, mad that he could still hear him over the hand dryer's loud whirring. Marcus could tell he was holding back from telling him more—water started gathering in his eyes, and he blinked harshly to try and stop it.
Marcus's eyes widened. "Damn, what happened?"
"Whatever—I don't want to talk to you about this. You were keeping this too. You're just as bad as EJ is. You said you were my friend..."
"I am."
"But you were laughing at me the whole time? People say I don't take things seriously, but is everything a fucking joke to you?"
"No." Marcus put a hand on his shoulder, which was short-lived—Ricky pushed it off straight away. "The only reason I couldn't tell you is that EJ threatened to tell people my secret."
"Of course, you have more secrets." Ricky snickered, folding his arms. "King of East High Rumours? What could he possibly have on you for you to spare such a giant piece of gossip..."
"We all have a past, skater boy." Marcus threw his head back against the wall.
Ricky dropped his hands to his sides, relaxing his shoulders a little.
He could see the way Marcus tried to bury himself into the wall but was trying to hide with a layer of bravado, and swag, leaving against it. Though his eyes looked empty all of a sudden, and he was smiling at him a little too much—miscalculating the perfect balance of slightly bothered and positively entertained he usually used. Something was wrong.
"What is it?" Marcus looked around the bathroom. All the cubicles were empty. He must have a bad secret, but Ricky was prepared for anything at this point. "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone."
The way Ricky smiled at him made him feel like he actually meant it, and it had been a while since Marcus had anyone to confide in.
"I'm gay." Marcus's eyes scanned the room again. "I haven't told anyone at school, it's cool, whatever...but EJ's the only one who knows."
Ricky blinked, so hard that his head twisted and he leaned back a little. "EJ was going to tell everyone that you're gay? What the hell?"
EJ? The same guy he'd confided in about his own problems. The one who had shown him nothing but support, and kindness, and...what he was sure was love?
Yes, Ricky was mad at him, and he could punch him in the face right now for what he said to him. But, outing someone? There was no way EJ could be that cruel.
"I mean," Marcus shook his head. "I don't know for sure, but that's the only secret I have and I wouldn't put it past him. But, it's not like I'm scared of anyone at school." The senior's shoulders shook a little. "If my dad ever found out, he'd ship me to Texas..."
"You're scared of telling him?" Ricky smacked his lips together. "I know what that feels like. You feel like they're never gonna see you the same way, even though you're the exact same person...but, I don't know what your dad is like, so I'm guessing that it's not gonna be good if he's gonna send you away for all the wrong reasons. But it doesn't matter. You should tell him. No matter what happens, you'll feel a lot better."
"Yeah, but my dad is all I have. I don't have another parent to run home to in the middle of the night."
"What happened to saying how you feel, and when you feel it?"
"Oh, please. Those were words of encouragement when you needed them. You don't have to share a house with EJ."
"I guess you're right..." Ricky smiled. Marcus stirred, pushing himself off the wall, and he could see him smiling too when he turned away.
"But, please. You can't tell anyone. My dad..."
"I won't."
"Really?" Marcus leaned back. "You're going to keep it after what I did?"
Ricky shrugged. "If EJ wanted to tell me sooner, he could've. You were blackmailed—I...guess I just thought you and the water polo guys were all in this together or something."
"Our team is called the East High Leopards, not the Wildcats. The only thing we're in together is the team...and sometimes...too much of each other's personal space. Seriously, that locker room is full of boys in boxers. It's actually wild—"
"Okay." Ricky laughed.
Marcus smiled and they stood in silence for a few seconds.
"How long are you going to ignore him?"
The smile on Ricky's face slowly vanished. "Uh, I don't know."
"Is that gonna be it between you two then?"
"I...don't know, dude."
"Well, you know it's summer soon," Marcus mentioned. "We're gonna be graduating soon, prom's in two weeks...and Senior Day's soon as well. Then, straight after that EJ goes to summer camp."
Ricky was fully aware of all this. EJ would be gone, and he wouldn't have time to stay mad at him, he wouldn't even be around for the silent treatment he gave him. He would be in college, some fancy pants place, like Duke, getting to know wise scholar guys and pretty, insightful girls. He was probably going to forget all about him and their fight, and stop trying to get him back—and move on campus and on with his life. But, he didn't want to think about that, or how sad it made him.
So, Ricky asked, "Aren't you going too?"
"Eh, I don't know," Marcus said. "I usually go with EJ, but things are a little weird between us right now. He's kind...of mad at me for telling you."
"Oh, right."
"It's cool, whatever. He'll get over it..." Ricky knew what Marcus meant, but his brain went straight to the worst-case scenario. He didn't know a lot about his Marcus-isms, but the small grin on his face made it sound a lot like he was implying he'd get over him. "I mean, he has to or I'll never see him again before he goes off to university."
"You know where he's going?"
Marcus shook his head. "But you can bet it'll be somewhere far away from this mess. If you can't fix your problems, you might as well run away from them. Right?"