Cohen
Being down at Smuggler's Cave with Teegan was the best. It made me feel free and like I could forget that there's bad things in the world, like cancer and guys who punch you in the face - repeated - because you hit him first. I had one hour with this girl who makes me feel things I haven't felt in months, and I didn't even tell her how I feel.
I can't. It sucks, but I have to man up and tell her that Lola is my ex before I can tell her that I like her.
It's Wednesday now and I have the whole day to do anything I want, and all I want is to see Teegan. Yesterday, I went to the fair with Rex and his brother. I tried to stay distracted and really tried not to care that Teegan hadn't even texted me. Today, I am just down the road from her house - her mom's house - and I just hope she texts me. The ball is in her court now. I showed up at her house on Sunday. I asked her to meet me after work yesterday and I took her to the caves. Now I need her to show me that she wants to hang out again.
My phone dings when I'm pouring a bowl of cereal and I practically drop the box to rush over. But it's not Teegan.
Rex: Dude, come over. My mom made enough breakfast for like ten people.
I smile at the text but I know I can't go. Rex's parents don't really like me. I mean, I've never done anything that bad in all of the years I've known him. I take care of Rex, as he takes care of me. But while they tolerate me, they don't like me. And I will not be going over to their house to eat the extra breakfast. Though that does sound good.
Me: I just ate. Want to go down and play frisbee at the pier later?
Rex: Fine, text me later.
I'm glad he agreed, because that leaves the next couple of hours free for me. I want to wait for Teegan to get in touch with me, but I can't. We don't have time to waste, I know that. I can't stop thinking about her, so I naturally want to see her. After I eat my cereal and wash my bowl, I slip on my shoes and go out the back door.
Cutting through the back forest, I end up on the road where I can almost see her house. Her mom didn't seem like she knew who I was, but I can't be sure. And this time I see a car in the driveway, so I slip past the house and go down to the beach. I jog the opposite way before turning around and coming back, slowing down near the beach outside their house.
Please see me out here, please. Teegan, just look out the back window.
I wait an extra two minutes but she doesn't come. It's not like she can hear me telepathically. I keep walking past her house as far as I can go until I get to the rocky spot. That spot where I reached out and took her hand. My head feels so strange at the memory of being with her, holding her hand. It's so innocent but it was so much, too.
I love how she's comfortable with me. I really love the way she smiles at me. I don't know what any of this means because I'm not an idiot - I know the summer goes fast and she's definitely leaving. I should know better than to get involved or attached to her. But it won't stop me from at least hanging out with her again.
"Hey!"
I'm totally lost in my thoughts when I hear a voice calling over to me. I look up and there she is. Is my brain playing tricks on me? She's walking closer, wearing jean shorts and a red, baggy t-shirt. Her hair is up in a pony tail and she's got this serious look on her face.
"Oh, hi." I might as well act like I'm surprised to see her out here, right? Even though it's only three minutes down from her house.
"What are you doing?" she asks, still walking closer to me.
"I was... just walking." That was a dumb answer.
"I saw you slow down outside my mom's house. Why didn't you knock?" she wants to know.
"Why didn't you come out?" I answer her question with a question. God, she makes me nervous.
"I was actually having breakfast with my step dad," she tells me, then shrugs.
I can't tell her this, but that's exactly why I didn't knock. I'm too much a chicken to confront this whole situation I've gotten myself into. Her step dad knows me. He knows what happened to my dad and that I left Avila a few months ago without much warning. He knows I hurt Lola.
"Oh, okay. So you followed me?" I tease her, giving her a half smile.
She stops once she's pretty close to me and puts her hands on her hips. "I was going to text you today, actually."
"You were?"
She nods. "I have to work at the hut tonight, to close. I was going to see if you wanted to hang out after... maybe."
I have to bite back my smile. She wants to hang out with me again, thank god. I know I should tell her about Lola but this isn't the right time, either. Maybe I'll tell her tomorrow. Or by the end of the week, for sure. If she gets mad, then we still have time to figure it out, or make up, or whatever. I'm not ready for whatever this friendship is to end, not yet.
"Yeah. Rex and I will be down at a pier this afternoon. And then I can meet you after you're done work?" I suggest, basically crossing my fingers this works out.
"Oh, will it be a three-way hang out?" she asks and then laughs.
I take a few steps and we start walking back towards her house. She bites her bottom lip and holds out her hand to me, so I quickly slip my fingers through hers.
"We can go hang out at my house? My back yard is epic," I suggest, ignoring the part about Rex.
"Epic? How so?"
"I have a hammock." I shrug and then laughs. "I also have beach chairs and a fire pit."
"Wow. Amazing." She's teasing me and I love it. The way her lips curl up at the sides a bit when she's trying not to smile.
Her mom's house comes into view and she drops my hand, almost immediately turning to start heading in that direction. I should have expected it. It's not like she wants her mom or step dad to see her holding my hand. But it doesn't really hurt any less.
She's like ten feet away from me when she yells, "See you around 7P.M.?"
It's not like I could say no to her now, so I nod and wave as she turns and jogs back towards the deck, her pony tail waving in the wind.
*
Come over? Bring the frisbee, I text Rex an hour later.
I took a shower when I got back home, mostly because it's a hot, sticky day and I was feeling it. But also, I don't know if there's a chance I'll get to be close to Teegan tonight. If there is, I want to be ready. And I want to smell okay.
Be there in a few minutes, Rex texts back.
I slip my phone into my pocket of my shorts and get up to go wait outside. It's only been like three minutes when I see a person jogging towards me. Assuming it's Rex, I lift a hand to wave. But as the guy gets closer, I realize it's Luke. They are sort of the same size and build, and from far away they could be brothers. Luke's hair is lighter and his expressions are more like a goofy kid or a Labrador, and he's grinning as he slows down near where I'm standing.
"Ryder!" he shouts, already patting me on the back. "How's it going, dude?"
Luke is very friendly. He's a genuine nice guy but has poor taste in girls. Being a year ahead of him in high school, I never really got a good grasp of his personality but I'm going off of what Rex has told me about him. He's in ridiculous shape and wants to play pro football after college. And he's standing in front of me, slapping my back.
"It's going," I answer, but suddenly remember that he failed to mention an important details to me, about the job. "Hey, so, I was wondering... why didn't you tell me that Reese, you know, our boss... that's she's Lola's step mom?"
Luke's expression changes to some sort of confusion, his eyebrows scrunching together. "I guess I didn't think it mattered. You needed a job, right? How was your first pay cheque?"
"Good, yeah. It's just... you knew Reese's daughter, Teegan, also works there now?" I go on, trying not to sound like I know too much.
He grins. "Yeah. I trained her." Luke pauses and it seems like things are connecting in his head. "You were fighting Raff at the party, and it was about Teegan."
"Sort of. The actual fight was not really about Teegan," I admit. "He had sex with Lola after I left."
Luke nods. "I heard that. Wait. Are you still hung up on Lola?"
He's not really as smart as he seems.
"No. Absolutely not," I answer right away, and just behind him I see Rex come into my view.
"Oh, good. She's made it pretty clear that she hates you." Luke laughs and doesn't even stop when I am clearly not impressed by it. "Don't worry about her, man. Anyway, Teegan is cool. Poor girl got the wrath of Naomi, but-"
"I heard about that. Why are you still with her?" I ask, and Rex is walking closer and closer. He can probably hear us talking now.
"She's wild, man. I mean, like, she's into things that I never would have imagined-"
"Hey!" Rex calls out, now only a few feet away from us.
"Rexy! What's up, man?" Luke asks him, and I'm so glad the conversation about Naomi and her sexcapades is over. Luke doesn't wait for Rex to answer before he goes on. "Oh! We're doing a big game tomorrow, scrimmage. Did Isaac text you about it?"
"Yeah. I'll be there," Rex nods.
"Cool, let me know if you need a ride. I gotta run. See you two later." Luke nods at me and does a little handshake thing with Rex before he jogs off.
"Let's go?" Rex says to me, holding out the frisbee.
I grab it and sprint away, already starting down the path to cut between the houses, towards the beach.