Loooooooooong one!
No proof read.
A fifteen-year-old Ashwin prowled into his room in his Karate attire with as much agressiveness as wanted to give Sivaangi goose pimples.
Sivaangi who was writing something on her notebook with utmost attentiveness and vigilance, jolted on her spot abruptly when her best friend barged into the room.
Taking a keen look at the pensive face that Ashwin was showcasing, Sivaangi couldn't help but chuckle at his behaviour whilst going back to her homework.
For an instance, Sivaangi had a look at the clock and queried, "Yenna iniku class seekiram mudinjiducha?"
"HANDS UP!" Ashwin tightened his hold on the toy gun he was pointing towards Sivaangi.
Sivaangi looked at him with disbelief. Why did he barge into the room? And why was he yelling at her?
"I SAID HANDS UP!" He shouted again, glaring at her for offending him.
Why the hell wasn't she scared?
Sivaangi pressed her lips into a thin line and raised her arms up in the air.
Convinced, Ashwin took one step back and aligned the front sight of the gun to its rear sight and aimed it on his childhood best friend's forehead. He shut his eye away from the rear sight and positioned himself in the best possible firing-ready position that he could pull off.
When Sivaangi was awaiting for him to pull the trigger, Ashwin suddenly put his hand down and motioned as if loading the gun and adding sound effects to his actions, that caused Sivaangi to jump on her spot.
Her lips parted in shock as the laughter that she was holding back erupted aloud making Ashwin's lips curve slightly, which he very well managed to hide tactfully.
He aligned the gun back to its previous position, repeated every action that he did and threateningly shook the gun with a grunt causing Sivaangi to raise her hands stiffly.
Ashwin ferociously moved his forefinger that was on the trigger guard to the trigger and pulled it with great force that the gun jumped, pointing to the ceiling and returned back to his hand.
"pap-pap-pu-pu-pudrrrr-pudrrr-boom-du-du-ku-ku-dun-dun-dishkyov-dishkyov-pudrrr-pudrrr-poom-poom-skyaaannnnnn" he mimicked the noise made by the gun while firing as Sivaangi clutched her heart and fell back on the bed.
She had never once imagined herself dying with a smile.
Ashwin calmly brought the front sight of the gun near his mouth and blew off some air, maintaining his apathetic demeanour.
Sensing the room being silent for so long, Sivaangi slowly squinted her eyes to find Ashwin posing like the heroes in the movies.
"Chei sunglasses irundha innum better ah irundhirkum" he mumbled mortified.
Laughing hard, Sivaangi got up and bounced on the bed as Ashwin finally relaxed and smiled at her.
"Yenna da aachu unakku dhideernu?" she questioned with a faint giggle, searching for the pen that she dropped amidst the drama.
At the question thrown at him, Ashwin instantly stiffened and voiced out sternly, "Na mudivu panniten".
Sivaangi flipped some books and bent down the bed to look for the pen if it had went underneath.
"Yenna mudivu pannita?" her muffled voice came from her head tucked under the bed.
"Ennoda latchiyam".
Sivaangi jerked and jumped back on the bed. She stared at him skeptically.
Was he Ashwin? Was he her dear BFF? Where did the boy who used to shrug off any question that had the word 'aim' in it disappear?
Lips parted and eyes wide, Sivaangi blinked at him rapidly.
"Finally!" she breathed out in content.
She pulled him by his wrist and made him sit beside her.
"Sollu sollu yennava aaga pora?" she shook him curiously.
Ashwin brought the gun back to his face and crammed it under his right jaw.
"Pch! Nee ipdi pose kudukradha niruthu modhala. Badhil sollu".
"Guess pannu paakalam" Ashwin challenged with a smirk.
Sivaangi frowned and brought the ballpoint pen to her lips, listing all the professions related to gun and firing in her mind.
"Hmm? Gurkha?"
Ashwin glared at her.
"Pattasu kadai vaikka poriya?"
"Unakku Diwali ku osi la pattasu varum nu kanavu la kooda nenachi paakadha" Ashwin warned her beforehand.
"Appo gun manufacture panna poriya?"
"Hmm! Nalla yosanai. Aanaal badhil thavaru" he pressed his lips together and shook his head pitifully.
"Aprom yenna, police dhan"
"You are absolutely wrong!" he clapped his hands tauntingly.
"Hey! Vera yenna- Hon! Military la sera poriya?" Sivaangi chirped and pulled herself on her knees, matching his height at the realisation.
Ashwin proudly wiggled his eyebrows and patted her shoulder.
"Seriyana vidai. Ungaluku adutha jenmathil aayiram porkaasugal vazhangapadum devi".
Sivaangi paid no heed to his pure honey Tamil that he had been using ever since he became a member of the literary club of their school as she patted or rather hit his shoulders vigourously in enthusiasm.
"Ashwiney super Ashwiney!"
"Ashwiney super Ashwiney!"
"Ashwiney super Ashwiney!"
She repeated again and again.
He had finally cogitated about his career. And look at his choice! He had decided to volunteer himself to serve and fight for the nation.
Every speck of concern and worry that Sivaangi had for him vanished in thin air. Whether he was really going to pursue his Army dream or not, there are chances that his mind would travel to other professions, but he was atleast thinking about his future. That was more than enough.
Ashwin was probably the only one who didn't have any aim or even a mere wish in his life amongst his classmates and friends. He would roam around the school with his friends, pranking and playing.
The only reason he ever visited school was for attendance and exams, else his father would beat the shit out him and P.E.T periods for him to have fun.
Ashwin's face visibly shrunk when he thought about his father. Sivaangi sensed that he was worried about something and finally settled beside him, holding back her zeal.
"Yenna da?" she placed her palm on his shoulder.
"Appa no solliduvaru la" he asked with hell lot of expectations that she would deny it, peering his gaze into her eyes.
"Pch! Ada Ashwiney adhellam paathukalam. Nee kavala padadha" cheered Sivaangi.
He had just decided his goal and was already estimating the possible obstacles in his way, the biggest being his father who always wished his son to live an ideal life.
Study well. Score well. Get a stable government job. Marry a responsible woman. Have kids.
That's how an ideal man lives.
Tension-free pleasant life.
But Ashwin wanted thrill. He wanted to do rigorous physical work. Even if he would be unable to convince his father about his soldier dream, he would atleast become a mountaineer or a diver.
He just wanted to do something for the nation and add his name in the history.
But Ashwin still wasn't out of the fear being radiated everytime he is around his father. He loved his father so much that he couldn't bring himself to argue with him. One stern look from the man and Ashwin would shut his mouth.
What mishaps was he going to create in their relationship if he stands against his father's wish? He was palpitating just by the thought of it.
Either he would stand against his father. Or he would give up his only dream. Both of which were nerve-racking and giving him the hump.
"Dei book edu. Homework eh mudi" Sivaangi tried to divert his mind.
"Enna homework?" Ashwin asked quizzically.
"Maths ma'am exercise 9.4 poda sonnanga la" she reminded, resuming her homework.
"Oh adhuva! Naan dhan mudichitene" he smiled cheekily.
Sivaangi furrowed her eyebrows at him, "Epdi?"
He had just returned from the Karate class which was scheduled immediately after school hours, then how did he find time to complete the homework?
"Namma Aditya edhuku irukaan pinna", pride overflowed from Ashwin's form as if he himself worked out all the sums with so much hardwork.
Sivaangi shut her eyes in anger.
This boy would never act sensible and organized.
"Idiot. Stupid. Non-sense. Fool..." she went on to scold him with all the curse words that she knew.
Ashwin momentarily opened his mouth to say something but shut it when she continued chiding him, flashing her wide eyes and twisting her lips.
"Arivu illa. Ivlo naal porupu illama irundha seri. Tenth la koodayuma ipdi irupa. Boards paper um Aditya vandhu ezhudhi tharuvana unakku? Huh?"
"Idhula yenna iruku. Enakku andha sum ellam nalla theriyum. Adhaan avana poda sonnen. And for your information, Boards ku innum neraya naal iruku. Enakku last minute la padicha dha mandaila yerum nu unakku theriyadha?" he argued back.
When Sivaangi was about to quip back at him, he dug his hand inside his backpack and plucked out a thick notebook with pale green cover from the heavily crowded bag.
He placed it near Sivaangi, "Indha, en bio record. Rende rendu diagram dha. Na poitu varadhukulla varanjidu" he tried to cajole her sweetly.
"You..." Sivaangi raised her forefinger at him but words didn't flow freely from her mouth looking at his adorable puppy face.
Rather than him drawing the diagrams and getting scolded from their teacher for his untidy work and redoing it, it was better she helped him in the diagram part atleast. Else, for the amount of time their teacher would ask him to redo, he would only end up tearing the clean white paper by constant erasing.
"Get lost!" she shouted.
"Okay!" Ashwin replied comically and hopped down the bed.
"Aama yenga pora" she stopped him.
"Stationery ku. Naalaiku test ku map vaanganum la" he remarked like an obedient child.
Glaring, Sivaangi asked, "Test ku padichiteengala sir?"
"Naalaiku school ku poi padichikalaam" he shrugged casually.
Ashwin slumped his shoulders at the way she was visibly unhappy with him and trotted towards her.
"Pch! Ippo edhuku nee enna moraikura? Na padikren nu dhaane solren. Copy la adika maaten" he assured, crouching on the floor, holding her legs that were hanging down the bed.
"Nee yen Ashwin ipdi iruka? Naalaiku test oda marks internals la sepaanga. School la kedaikra pathu nimishathula yenna padika mudiyum?" Sivaangi was helpless as her eyes burned with apprehension and disquietude.
Ashwin sighed wearily. "Seri sollu ippa naan yenna pannanum?"
"Naalaiku test la full marks vaanganum" she challenged him.
"Nadakara vishayama idhellam?" he asked casually.
"Naan dhaan iruken la. Nee konja neram enkooda okkandhu padichaale podhum" she persuaded.
Ashwin pulled of a dispassionate face and cringed at her.
"Atleast fifteen ku oru thirteen illa fourteen aachu vaanguda" she tried again.
Hmm. That sounds fine.
"Seri okay. Ennala mudinja alavuku padikuren" he reluctantly assured.
Unable to believe him, Sivaangi stuck her pinky finger out in front of him with a pout.
Ashwin stared at her scoffing under his breath.
Albeit displeased, involuntarily, his pinky finger found its way to hers. He hooked their fingers together and flipped their fists with a tight smile.
It was an unsaid deal between them. Once he hooks his little finger with hers, he had to do whatever she says by any means whatsoever.
Sivaangi smiled back and clapped her hands as he indolently trudged outside his room.
Nevertheless, he rushed back and peeked inside with a frown as Sivaangi questioningly raised her eyebrows from her book.
"Aama political map dhaane?" He queried cluelessly.
"River map da loosu payale" Sivaangi facepalmed, making Ashwin pass on an abashed smile and scamper downstairs.
"Ivan naalaiku mark vanguna maari dhan" wondered Sivaangi.
Nevertheless, he did score a whopping fourteen marks in the test surprising everyone in the class. Albeit everyone being certain that he would have cheated, one proud friend knew the efforts he had taken to keep up his promise.
*****
Ashwin's fingers held the mouse tightly as his forefinger kept hovering over the left button.
'Click pannuda' he groaned under his breath.
His heart was racing like a horse. He felt his body weakening steadily. His mind was filled with resenting thoughts and constant ire. The road he was trudging towards seemed uphill.
Ashwin's house was under work for an apparent electricity leakage complaint. There were a group of workers drilling and changing the wire connections whilst switching on and off the power as and when they required. So he had decided to settle at Sivaangi's house for some time.
Ashwin was currently sitting in front of the computer in Sivaangi's room which flashed the MBA application form. He had filled up all the details. He just had to click one button and it was done. Everything would come to an end.
'Just give up and click Ashwin' his mind forced him while the pointer loitered around the 'submit' bar.
Click.
Ashwin's eyes widened when the computer shut down. His fingers relaxed from the mouse as his back became erect in alertness.
And when he found the reason for his misfortune standing afore him, he groaned aloud.
"Sivaangi yenna yen ipdi...Pch!" Ashwin sighed running his fingers through his hair as he couldn't even bring himself to scold her.
She had switched of the CPU before even he could click on the 'submit' bar.
Sivaangi glowered at him, fisting her hands at her side. She placed the books that she held in her other hand with a thud on the computer table.
"Yenna loosa nee?" she yelled at him in pique.
"Hello! Nee dha loosu. Ippa yedhuku nee adha off panna?" he retorted back, bending down to switch on the CPU again. "Save aacha nu vera therila" he whimpered unhappily.
Sivaangi gnashed her teeth and switched off the cpu again. She held his wrist swiftly and dragged him along with her paying no heed to his protests.
"Iniku nee appa kita pesi dha aagura. I don't want to see you studying again" she declared sharply. There was no other way. No other day.
"Sivaangi venam ma. Sonna kelu. Yedhuku ippa avar kita poi kathikitu. Sanda dha varum" Ashwin's heart drummed against his chest at the thought of arguing with his father.
"Vaaya moodu Ashwin. Vara kovathuku andha kal ah eduthu un mandaila potu odachirven" she snarled opening the gate, crossing the road and entering into Ashwin's house, all the way lugging him along with her.
Two labours who were dismantling few parts in the main unit jerked on watching the woman barge into the house followed by a man who looked woeful.
Sivaangi released his hand from her hold and banged the books on the teapoy. She plonked on the couch beside Prakash, Ashwin's father leaving a reluctant and anxious Ashwin standing helplessly.
Prakash smiled at Sivaangi and bobbed his head towards the books, "MBA books ah ma?" he sounded interested.
"Eduthu paarunga" he frowned at Sivaangi's grumpy reply.
He had a quick and careless look at the books. One was about Current Affairs and the other read General Knowledge.
"Oh good good" he patted her back. "Ipdi dha ellathayum therinji vechikanum. Kooda newspaper padicha innum nalla irukum la" he suggested kindly.
Sivaangi sighed heavily. Before she could respond back, Prakash's gaze averted towards Ashwin.
"Yenna pa apply pannitiya?" he seemed concerned.
Ashwin seemed to be lost and blank. He mentally chided Sivaangi for putting him in such a situation.
"Il-illa pa" he stuttered.
"Yen? Yennachu?" Prakash looked between Ashwin and Sivaangi.
"Appa adhu-"
"Yenna pa sollu".
"Appa na application podala pa" Ashwin finally let out half the truth with great hassle.
"Yen pa iniku dha last date nu sonna. Thangam podumbodhe unnayum poda sonnen, nee dha apram podren apram podren nu sonna. Ippo yenna?" Prakash queried cluelessly as his forehead wrinkled profusely.
"Appa-" Ashwin was unable to speak. He didn't know where to start and he didn't have the guts to start the conversation at first.
Sensing Ashwin's pertubed form and watching his restless legs shifting the weight between themselves, Prakash warned sternly "Ashwin don't tell me you don't want to study MBA".
After few sconds of the stare game, Ashwin slowly nodded his head.
"Vera yenna da panna pora nee? Anniku evlo neram chinna kuzhandhaiku puriya veikra maari nalladhu kettadhu la solli puriya vechen. Mandaiya mandaiya aatuna. Ippo yenna. Yenna? Veetlaye okkandhidalaam nu paakuriya?" Prakash raised on his feet, sneering at Ashwin.
Just a week ago, Prakash had given both the best friends a lecture on how studying further would uplift their career and the particular benefits of opting MBA over other courses.
Sivaangi who already had MBA on her lists was convinced and got rid of all her doubts and instantly jumped in to enroll herself for the course whereas Ashwin had simply procrastinated it like he always does. After all, it wasn't something he loves to indulge cheerfully.
"Pch! Pa please konjam solla varadha kelunga. Naan velaiku poren nu dha solla vandhen. Veetla la okkara maaten" Ashwin remarked, already tired of the arguement.
"Innoru degree panna nalla velaiya kedaikum la da. Avan avan naal anju degree padikuran..."
"Appa please. Unga aasai ellam avan mela thinikadhinga. Ashwin ku military la seranum. Adhu dha avanoda aasai. Avlodhan" stated Sivaangi abruptly, who wasn't interested in beating around the bush.
Infuriated, Prakash chastised, "Yennadhu military ah? Yenna velayadreengala rendu paerum?".
Prakash grumbled at the drilling noise. "Yov! Adha konja niruthu ya" he chided the worker.
"Illa avan romba serious ah irukan" Sivaangi folded her hands over her chest. She swatted away Ashwin's hand that came to hold her elbow to stop her. She was ready for the arguement. It has to end today.
"Yaara ketu indha maari mudivu ellam edukureenga? Ozhunga innoru degree vaangi nalla velaiku poi veedu vitta office, office vitta veedu nu iruka sollu" he instructed Sivaangi steely. "Indha military la seruren korali vithai kaaturen nu la varakoodadhu" he wiggled his forefinger threateningly.
"Seri pa-"
"Ashwin iru naa-"
Ashwin gestured Sivaangi to stop right there with his bloodshot eyes.
"Appa it's okay. No problem. Naan venam nu dha sonnen. Enakku dha ungala pathi modhalaye theriyume. Iva dha solla solla kekama kootitu vandha-" Ashwin spoke his heart which came out much rude and scornful than expected.
"Yenna yenna theriyum saar ku? Huh?" Prakash snickered.
"Adhaan pa neenga solradha dha seiyanum. Neenga solradha dha padikanum. Neenga solradha dha saapdanum. Yedhuva irundhalum unga aasai padi dha nadandhukanum. Adhaane. Seri enaku oru problem um illa. Idhellam yenna enaku pudhusa? Porandhadhu lerndhe ungaluku pidichadha dhaane senjitu iruken. I have no complaints" he jeered at his father with a sardonic smile and turned to exit the house.
"Ei nillu. Yenna da pesra? Yen nee unakku pidichadhu edhuvume pannadhu kedaiyadha. Apdiye jail la vaazhra alavu ku pesra. Naan yenna unna en control-" Prakash's lips quivered and voice cracked seeing his son speaking against him in such an insolent tone.
"Aamaa" Ashwin yelled stamping his palms in the air. His voice was so loud that everyone's breath in the living room hitched and hearts stopped beating for a second. Much poweful than banging one's ears with heavy metal rod.
All the pent up anger, distress and anguish erupted from Ashwin's soul slowly, one by one. Enough of shutting his mouth everytime. He was grown up. He cannot let anyone else take his decisions anymore.
"Aamaa" he breathed out again raspily, pulling his shirt down.
"Unaku ellam-"
"Appa konja neram rendu perum ipdi yettiku potiya pesradha niruthunga. Topic Ashwin ku Military la seranum. Adha pathi mattum pesunga" Sivaangi reminded before they could start fighting.
Prakash opened his mouth to say something but Sivaangi stopped him rightaway.
"Oru nimisham. First enna pesa vidunga".
"Sivaangi gammunu iru. 12 kulla registration mudinjidum. Naan thirupi form fill up panni upload pandradhuku late aagum. Yenkooda va" Ashwin pulled her with him but Sivaangi wriggled herself away.
"Pch! Ashwin iru da".
Sivaangi took a deep breath and approached Prakash, who was staring at the book placed afore his eyes. 'For NDA aspirants' it read.
"Appa Ashwin ku army la seranum nu school padikumbodhu lerndhe aasai".
"Avan nenachirundha twelfth mudicha odane exam ezhudhi irukalaam. Neenga sonninga, ungaluku pudikum nu dha avan oru degree mudichan. Ippo innoru degree pannu nu sonna epdi pa?"
"Infact, school la kooda naan enniko oru naal summana tenth and twelfth boards la neraya mark edutha dha military la serthupaanga nu adichu vitten. Avan adha nambi padichan. Neengale paathinga la avan mark epdi fifty lerndhu eighty percent ku increase aachu nu? Avanuku military na avlo pidikum pa" she widened her arms.
"Venum na avan phone eduthu paarunga. Full ah army related articles apram videos dha irukum. Yen kittayum paadhi neram adha pathi dha pesitu irupaan".
Sivaangi recalled everything one by one as Prakash felt himself being bowled out everytime. Why didn't his son tell him all these?
"Romba naal kanavu pa. Yosikama no solladhinga pa please. Ellam arambikumbodhe full stop vekkadhinga" Sivaangi pleaded as tears pooled around her eyelids.
After few minutes of silence, Prakash spoke, "Adhellam irukatum. Enakku nee solradhella puridhu. Adhukunu ipdi dhideernu vandhu sonna epdi ma?" his voice was putatively trembling.
"Appa neenga ennikaachu oru naal avankita unakku yenna pidikum, yenna aaganum nu ketirkeengala pa? Atleast avan NCC la serumbodhu aachu unakku yenda adhula interest nu keteengala? Neenga baatla avanuku exposure kedaikum discipline varum nu okay solliteenga aana avanuku yen adhla ishtam nu oru vaati aachu keteengala?" Sivaangi asked withal clued up about his answer.
Prakash was dumstruck. She was right. But he would never admit it. He always thought that his choice was the best for Ashwin. It was indeed. His intentions were always right. He would consult a hundred people and browse upon a thousand websites before choosing something for Ashwin. But never once did he ask his son if he was happy with it or if he really needed that.
"Edhuku indha aasai veen ah? I don't have to tell you the risks of an Army job. Apdi yenna adam?"
"Pa oruthan saaganum nu thalaila ezhudhi vechirundha adhu epdi venalum nadakum. Naan saadharanamaa office pona kooda lift la oxygen illama maatikalaam illa pora vara vazhi la accident aagalaam. If its in your fate, it will definitely happen irrespective of the job you are in. Moreover, Army la irukravan ellam ponam ah dha thirumba varuvaan nu illa".
"Ashwin!" Sivaangi glared at him for stating the facts in rather harsh and hurtful tone.
Ashwin was on the verge of breaking the showpieces placed in the shelf behind his father.
Prakash's silence bewildered all of them in the room. Even the workers had trained their ears awaiting his answer.
But one person in the room was certain about his reply. Ashwin. It was definitley going to be negative.
Prakash looked up and took a glance at everyone before fixing his gaze on Ashwin and Sivaangi.
"Yenna paakureenga? Ponga" he gestured his palm towards Ashwin's room.
Sivaangi blinked rapidly. What was the use of talking so much? Why wasn't her points being considered? On the other hand, Ashwin smirked painfully. He knew it.
Ashwin heaved a long sigh and strode towards his room but stopped on his tracks when Prakash continued.
"Dei idha eduthuttu poda. Pulla paasama vaangitu vandhiruku la" he eyed the books.
Perplexed, Ashwin and Sivaangi looked at each other to find the other equally frowning.
Is he just telling to get those books out of the place or...?
"Idhalayaachu ninety percent vaangura vazhiya paaru" he mumbled aloud.
Sivaangi's eyes instantly lit up with tears as she swung around to find her dumbfounded friend, staring at his father as his jaw hit the floor.
Sivaangi squealed internally restricting herself from jumping in delight. She grabbed the books and held Ashwin's arm.
It was good to drag him upstairs before something twisty happens.
"Apram ellathukum ennaiye kora solladha" came Prakash's voice, halting the duo on their steps. They looked down from the flight of stairs to see Prakash grimly staring at nothing in particular. "Unakku edhachu pidikalana pidikala nu vaaya thirandhu sollu. Summa naan solra ellathukum thalaiya aatitu irukaadha".
Ashwin felt his head being hammered explosively. He was right. He hadn't once denied his father's wishes. He always went by his father's words even if he didn't like a thing. He believed he was tuned that way.
If Prakash was at mistake for forcing his wishes and hopes on him, Ashwin was equally responsible in the mistake by accepting everything that he said and not knocking back his suggestions.
But he would never accept that.
"Apram ella thappum en mela mattum dha irukungra maari periya manushan maari nikka vechi kelvi kekuradhu" he mumbled again in disdain. "Yenpa neenga yenna vedika paakureenga. Velaiya paarunga" he rebuked the workers as they snapped out of the live drama and fumbled with the tools to resume their work.
Sivaangi hauled Ashwin upstairs and just as they reached his room, both of them blew their lungs out. Sivaangi burst into laughter, hopping and clapping her hands while a smile flooded Ashwin's face after so long.
Swallowing hard, he pulled her with him and made her sit on the bed beside him.
Composing herself, Sivaangi handed the books to Ashwin, "Indha, nalla padichu en maanatha kaapathu".
Ashwin nodded his head with a smile and flipped the pages to have a look at the contents.
"Aama idhellam eppo vaanguna nee?" he asked amused.
"Aravind anna kadaila dha vaangunen. One week munnadiye poi solli vechen. Anna dha iniku new edition varum nu sonnar, odane poi vaangiten" she said casually but Ashwin lost count of the efforts she puts for him.
"Aprom English um Maths um naalaiku vaangi vekren nu sonnar. Na marandhalum nee marakaadha. Nyabagam vechiko" she put him in the picture.
"Nee marakamaata" Ashwin breathed out honestly, certainty overflowing in his features.
There was no way Sivaangi would forget something about her best friend.
Looking at Ashwin who was staring at her with teary eyes, Sivaangi too teared up but eerily wiggled her forefinger, "Ei thanks sonna, konnuduven" she pouted squinting her eyes.
Ashwin chuckled amidst his tears and threw himself on her.
Sivaangi almost fell back but Ashwin's arms tightened around her body as she herself let her hands hold him close to her. She comfortingly rubbed his back and ran her fingers through his hair.
"Eppavum en koodaye iru" he whispered in her hair.
Sivaangi slightly pulled back and took his hand into hers. She hooked her little finger with his and flipped their fists.
Gazing at him from his shoulder with glistening eyes and she smiled honestly.
"Irupen".
*****
Sivaangi was fiddling with the ends of her silk dupatta, standing under a damaged shed as rain drops dribbled on her through the cracks then and there.
Dehradun was certainly beautiful and salubrious but Sivaangi's heart was about to explode and jump out from her rib cage. Every single second, her heart beat throbbed stronger and stronger, whispering to her that he was approaching closer and closer to her.
Amidst the busy teeming market road and misty climate, Sivaangi would be the only tensed person madly awaiting for her best friend's arrival.
Ashwin was currently residing at IMA, Dehradun undergoing strenous training for the past seventeen months and he had visited home only twice in all these months.
Sivaangi's luck clicked in at the right time as her college had announced a short trip to Delhi and she had excitedly volunteered just so that she can meet Ashwin. Even five minutes would do, she thought.
And when she informed Ashwin, he immediately responded positively as he would get his 'weekly liberty' around the time she visits Delhi.
After passing out the NDA exam with flying colours, Ashwin had to crack the SSB exams at Allahabad too. He would never forget those precious five days in his life.
He was tested on various fields. From picture perception and description, examining how he responds to different situations, military formation and psychology tests to describing himself, giving lectures, countless personal interviews, performing group tasks, group discussions, debates and what not.
Followed by a nail-biting medical examination, he had joined the Defense Training Academy here in Dehradun.
First few months at IMA were not much difficult to handle for Ashwin, but as he was introduced to and taught about different things all the way, although finding it to be a back breaking task of survival, he slowly and steadily got used to the lifestyle.
Everything had drastically changed in his life. The training changed the mental and physical fabric of which he was made of. His understanding of words and concepts had changed. His requirements in terms of food, clothing and shelter had changed.
It was a strict routine. No two days in the Academy were same. Everyday was a new challenge and experience. Ashwin had never imagined that he would shit in the open, skin a live chicken or light a fire besides mastering the basic battle skills.
After seventeen months of training and just one more left to become a Commissioned Officer in the Indian Army, Ashwin was extensively trained in world class weapon handling for close quarter combat to defensive battle, undergoing the arduous obstacle course, shooting in jungle terrains under created counter-insurgency scenarios and honing his survival skills off-land with his fellow GCs with coordination and cooperativeness.
Training at IMA was holistic and they don't only prepare the cadets for battlefields but for a fulfilled life.
And after all the tiring training, getting a liberty day and meeting your best friend on an off day was exhilarating as Ashwin's eyes roamed around the Rajpur Market in search of Sivaangi while his hands hurriedly pushed some money into the rickshaw man's hand, the only place he was allowed to visit that too under keen surveillance by officers in mufty.
There he spotted her, standing under a shed, wearing a red salwar and looking here and there like a lost child at an unknown place. Just for him.
Ashwin placed his hand on top of his head to save himself from the drizzle and jogged towards her. Seeing her at a totally different place felt new and fresh just like the climate that engulfed them.
He stopped behind her and saw her shivering in the cold, tightly wrapping her dupatta around her.
He instantly removed the leather jacket that he was wearing and enveloped it around her shoulders.
Startled, Sivaangi swung back to find the reason for her anxiety throwing his charming smile at her as she broke down uncontrollably and crashed herself on him.
Ashwin hid his face in the crook of her neck, wrapping his hands around her and holding her as close as possible, knocking out every speck of air between them.
For reasons that they didn't know, they wished they could stay tucked under each other's embrace forever. But Ashwin had to return to the Academy within half an hour and Sivaangi's friends were already waiting at a nearby club. They had to use the sparse time provided to them effectively.
She reluctantly peeled herself away from him as he gazed down at her. Seeing her in tears and an adorable pout, Ashwin shook his head vigorously splashing the water droplets on her face, making her squint her eyes and giggle.
"Romba miss panren da" she teared up again and burried her face in his chest.
Ashwin held her nape and lifted her head up. He gazed down at her features for few seconds and pushed her head back to his chest.
"Naanum".
"Chinna vayasu lerndhe ellame onna senju senju ippo dhoorama iruka pidikala Ashwin".
Ashwin nodded chuckling at a memory, "Binni ma nammala kalaaipanga nyabagam iruka. Rendu paerkum ore nerathula pasi edukudhu nu".
Sivaangi nodded with a smile, her face still stuck to his chest.
"School college ellathayum onna dha pannom. Indha paala pona aimbition mattum yen ipdi maaruchu" Sivaangi kvetched morosely.
"Neeyum military la sendhuru. Illa air force na innum better option, women ku neraya scope iruku" suggested Ashwin avidly, really expecting her to give an affirmative reply.
"Nee MBA mudichittu office ku poriya" Sivaangi scowled, raising her face and throwing daggers at him. Ashwin shook his head nervously. Imagining his death at battlefield was much more sweeter than sitting in front of a computer for hours.
"Enakku inga irundhu anga odunaale moochu vaangum. Military, air force aam" she fussed as Ashwin chuckled.
They spent the next few minutes in each other's embrace, admiring the pitter-pattering of raindrops and sprinkling them on each others face.
"Munnadi paathadha vida elachita" Sivaangi stated.
He had already lost weight last time and right now he seemed even more fit, that her hands that previously reached only a little father than his mid-back when she hugged him, now easily wrapped around his waist.
"Ondra varushathula motham pannandu kilo" he wiggled his eyebrows proudly as Sivaangi smiled in amusement and started pressing his biceps to check if they still remained the same but to her mirth, they had become even more muscled and brawny.
"Un college la epdi pogudhu" queried Ashwin.
"Hmm pogudhu. Adhu onnu dha konjam occupied ah vechirku".
Sivaangi hit her head sticking her tongue out as a sudden jolt of realisation hit her. Ignoring Ashwin's questioning glances, she shoved her hand into her handbag, took out a small round box of food wrapped in a plastic cover and showcased it to him with a toothy grin.
"Mushroom briryani ah?" Ashwin's eyes widened in delight peeking at the transparent lid but he immediately pouted as he had to maintain his fitness.
"Pch! Konjam saapdu da. Yennikavadhu oru naal dhaane saapudra. Unakaaga dha hindi la pesi sanda pottu vaangitu vandhurken. Saapdu please" Sivaangi whined adorably as Ashwin hesistantly nodded a yes.
Sivaangi unwrapped the plastic cover and threw it down. She opened the lid and placed the box on top of it as the spicy fragnance hit their nostrils. She pulled out two spoons placed on top and gave one to Ashwin as they scooped the Biryani instantly relishing its taste.
"Nalla vela unkooda serndhu serndhu bollywood padam la paathu konjamachu ivanunga pesuradhu puridhu. Illana vandha vegathulaye return vandhurupen" Ashwin mumbled with his mouth full of food but Sivaangi didn't reply. He wondered if she really heard him. She was too busy in gulping down the Biryani.
After they were done with eating and letting out a long sigh, Sivaangi threw the box in the overflowing dustbin.
Eating his favourite food in a rainy day along with his best friend after a long long time was nothing short of nostalgic heaven.
"Indha" Sivaangi took out her passport size photograph from her purse and gave it to Ashwin.
Once when they had conversed over phone, Ashwin had asked her to send her photo.
"Good girl" he ruffled her hair happily and shoved his hand into his trouser pockets. He plucked out his wallet and swiped it open before safely tucking her photo inside the translucent cover. His fingers lingered over her photo as a buoyant smile graced his lips.
"Unakku en photo la venama?" he teased her plunging his wallet back into his pocket.
"Adhaan avlo perusa thongudhe room la. Adhu podhum" she reminded with a teasing smile.
She had their photo framed in her room that they captured during their family trip to Wayanad. They were standing under the waterfalls as Ashwin hooked his arm around her neck and imitated her cheeky smile and victory symbol.
Everytime she had a look at it, her lips would unconsciously curve into a hearty smile irrespective of her mood. All she wished was his liveliness and that fetching grin to stay intact.
"Seri unakku inga yenna solli tharanga?" She asked cluelessly.
"It takes 43 muscles to frown, 17 to smile and only three for proper trigger squeeze nu solli kuduthaanga" Ashwin responded.
While he was waiting for her to deride him for learning theories, she came up with a provoking-to-strangle-her-neck question, "Appo sirikradha vida suduradhu sulabama?".
Ashwin hooked an arm around her neck and continuously knocked her head and she smiled sheepishly, sticking her tongue out and squealing.
"Apram?" Ashwin breathed out after a long pause.
Sivaangi pouted profusely, "Munnadi la pesa evlo irukum. Thona thona nu pesuna time poradhe theriyadhu. Ippo paaru apram la vandhu nikkudhu".
"Ippovum pesa neraiya iruku. Vaartha varla" Ashwin averted his gaze to the the sky that was starting to clear.
"Inime ipdi dha la" Sivaangi smiled painfully.
"Poga poga idhavida mosama aagum" Ashwin replied exhaling sharply.
"Veetuku eppo varuva?" she queried pressing her trembling lips together.
"Innum one month dha...", Ashwin rubbed his temple, licking his lips in realisation, "Solla marandhuten paaru, Passing Out Parade date sollitaanga. December eleventh uh, maariyadhaya vandhu seru" he playfully stuck his forefinger in the air.
Shocked, Sivaangi stood there not moving by an inch and staring at him with dilated eyes.
Slowly, very slowly, her features shrunk as her palms found their way to close her eyes in harsh slap.
Why? Just why?
"Ayo! Yenna ma?" panicked Ashwin holding her wrists. He could see her quivering lips. She was certainly crying.
"Sivu, yenna aachu?" he shook her.
Sivaangi sobbed skittishly, sniffling her nose.
"December 20 varaikum semester iruku".
"Seri seri it's okay. Exams mukkiyam la" Ashwin held her face in his hands.
"Naan nee badge vaanguradha paakanum Ashwiney" her hiccups were exceeding their limits as her breaths evidently became short.
Ashwin wiped her face with her dupatta and hugged her as close as possible. He rans his fingers through her hair lovingly. Sivaangi's sobs died down gradually through his succouring gestures.
After much solace in his embrace, she pulled back rubbing her nose.
Ashwin chuckled at the way her nose and ears had turned pink, "Amma appa varuvaanga la, video edupaanga. Adhula-"
"Illa naan nerla dha paakanum" she whined, stomping her foot.
"Paravala ma. Adhu pass out agumbodhu vekkura ceremony dha. Onnume illa parade dha nadakum. You'll not miss out anything big" he had to diminish the entire reputation and supreme prominence the event held nationwide.
"Naan evlo unlucky la" she looked petulant as another tear dropped from her eyes. She hugged him tightly and rubbed her face in his shirt.
"Inga paaru. Inga paaru. Enna paaru ma" Ashwin held her neck on either sides and tried lifting her face up to which Sivaangi responded after much protests.
He locked his eyes with hers, "Nee dha romba romba lucky. Yen sollu?"
"Yen?"
"Nee enna first time uniform la paakumbodhe straight ah military camo la dha paapa" Sivaangi's mood raised like a roman candle but her querulous vein wasn't helping much. Withal, she nodded with a smile.
Just then her mobile rang loudly.
"Adhukullaiya?... Seri dho varen... Aahn five minutes la vandhuduren" she replied and disconnected the call sulkily.
"Yaaru friend ah?" Ashwin questioned.
"Aama kelambanum seekiram vaa nu solra" she threw her mobile inside her handbag.
"Aama yaar adhu preethi shreya rithu nu insta la ethana vaati delete pannalum request kuduthutte irukaanga. Profile poi paatha nee follow panra nu kaatudhu" Ashwin asked with a teasing smile, his hands clasped at the back and foot tapping the stagnant rainwater on the ground.
"Yen friends dha" Sivaangi smiled sheepishly, rather amused.
"Scene potiya?" he playfully glared at her.
Ofcourse, her best friend was going to be an army officer soon. Little bit of bragging and blowing imaginary trumpet for her dear friend wasn't wrong.
But the audacity of those three devils to forage his ID and stalk him was getting on her nerves.
"Avalungala vechikren oor ku poi" she squinted her eyes nefariously. "Request la accept pannadha, puridha" she exhorted strongly.
"Yen apdi?" Ashwin bit his lower lip to hide back his smirk.
"Hello! naan mattum dha unakku friend uh".
"That is obvious. Nee mattum dha eppayum ennoda best friend. But if they are interested, pesi correct panlaam la" he suggested genuinely.
"Correct pannuviya. Adingoyyale"
she rewarded him with a series of smacks on his arms and chest.
"Oii military kaaranuku summave ponnu kedaikaadhu. Ippo lerndhu valai veesuna dhaane dii life la munnera mudiyum" he remarked after pushing her hands away.
"Adhuku en friends dha kedachaangala?Adhellam onnum venam" Sivaangi warned. in agitation.
"Naan urupadave koodadhu la"
"Yeah!"
"Apdiye un friends romba uthaminga. Oru kanni kalaiyadha payanaku ithana vaati request tharaalunga" he scoffed.
"Nee block pannu" Sivaangi challenged in irritation.
When Ashwin was about to crack back, her mobile rang again. Sivaangi clicked her tongue and switched it off.
"Ashwin!" she held his hand.
"Hmm".
"Poganum".
"Pogadha. Innum oru two minutes iru" his hold tightened around her hand.
But Sivaangi reluctantly released her hand from his hold. She had to leave. Every second that she prolonged, her yearning for him would keep going up.
Without having another look at him, she walked away from him.
Firmly securing his jacket around, she prayed he wouldn't ask her to return it.
Ashwin watched her leaving. He had to return to the Academy too. But his muscles went against him as he found himself rooted to the same place. He could watch her disappear from his sight. Just a few more seconds.
Every step that Sivaangi took was heavy and seemed taking forever. It was as if he had drawn a loop around her, pulling her back. Admitting her defeat, she looked back for a fleeting moment to find him still standing there with an intense hankering. He hadn't moved an inch.
The slight drizzle planted few dewdrops on her eyelashes making them feel dense but instead of blinking back the drops, she found herself locking her eyes with him.
The string of mini lorries loaded with fresh vegetable sacks blew loud horns at the back of her head but all her ears could hear was her heart drumming beneath her soul.
There was a strong gush of wind blowing, sending chills to her spine and yet she couldn't find enough air to breath.
Her legs were weak and wobbly, shuddering in the cold atmosphere but she saw herself rush towards him with an unwrenchable gaze and the next moment that she knew, she was in his tight grasp.
*****
'Sivaangi, Concentrate! Concentrate!'
Sivaangi indiscreetly dumped her books, mobile and purse into her backpack, half of the time mindlessly fiddling with her belongings.
She would fix her dress.
She would straighten the photo frame on the wall.
She would switch off the fan and then switch it on again.
She would dust her clean study table.
She would adjust her bedspread.
Sivaangi was breathless, palpitating and sweating bounteously. Darkness leaped in her subconscious mind wrecking havoc within her peaceful soul.
He was leaving.
Ashwin was leaving.
The eerie silence in her room except for the ticking of the clock and her bangles jingling, smeared all imaginations like a dark spell into her being, paralysing her peace within.
An army of negative thoughts capitalized on her weakness and she was already certain that her day which was yet to start was going to be fully spoilt.
The silence was nothing but her broken heart not being soothed even by the mellifluous chirps of mynas that she usually loves listening to in the pleasant morning. She knew she shouldn't be doing this. She knew should be happy for him and send him off with a hearty smile but all she could do was to lock herself in her room, early in the morning and mourn as a breath of riot hovered over her form.
Ashwin was just joining his posting as a Commissioned Officer. But it seemed more like Ashwin was walking away from her. He would be gone in a few hours.
After the training, Ashwin had returned home during the break before he joins the Army. And leaving beside everything, he spent and dedicated all his valuable time to Sivaangi.
They had created new and beautiful memories for a lifetime. Knowing that getting such time with him was more of like a dream from hereon, Sivaangi had even stopped her playful arguements. It was first of the many memorable holidays for both of them and would always remain special.
But all those memories seemed like a burden to Sivaangi right now. Why? Why did she even spend time with him? Why did she laugh along with him?
For him to go away from her?
Will he ever return to sit beside her and eat, chat, laugh or cry? Will he ever be with her when she needed his warm hug and support at times when she felt down? Will he be there to sneak out of their houses at midnight for a walk?
Should she smile that they were friends? Or cry because they weren't just friends?
He will keep going farther and father away from her. He wouldn't even have time to turn back and have a look at her.
Ashwin barged into the room like a playful kid scaring Sivaangi as she twirled around to face him.
And just instantly, her eyes went wide seeing him.
Damn!
Everything that he had dreamt off. Everything that she had prayed for. Right in front of their eyes.
Ashwin ran his palms along his neatly ironed combat camouflage uniform with a bashful smile plastered on his face seeing her stare at him from top to toe.
Sivaangi slowly strode towards him analysing his haircut, cap, trimmed beared, crisp uniform with his name stiched in bold letters and leather boots.
He was commissioned into the 13th battalion of the Jammu and Kashmir Rifles and was heading to his first posting at Sopore in Baramulla district of Jammu and Kashmir.
While Ashwin, unable to hold back his emotions, grabbed her by her thighs and hoisted her up in the air as soon as she neared him.
Sivaangi squealed as her dupatta flung back and her silky hair swirled around her neck in the sudden motion whilst holding his shoulders tightly.
"Lieutenant Ashwin Kumar at your service ma'am" Ashwin twirled her along with him, roaring like a maniac with a toothy grin.
He finally dropped her form that was exploding with laughter down on the floor.
Sivaangi pinched his shirt at the shoulders and corrected it, only to launch herself on him and rumple it back.
Ashwin wrapped his arms around her and swirled her in the air again.
"Epdi?" he asked proudly after landing her on her feet.
"Paravala Vicky Kaushal range ku illanaalum, oru Sidharth Malhotra range ku iruka" she commented, struggling to hold back her giggle.
Ashwin playfully glared at her. His mind became blank all of a sudden as his hand reached out for hers to play with her fingers in the thick of reminiscing their memories together. A faint yet bitter smile grew on his lips making him swallow hard.
"So?" asked Sivaangi.
"So. Thats it I guess" Ashwin replied, wiping around his trimmed moustache and stubble in anxiety.
After a pause he requested innocently, "Neeyum varalaam la".
Ashwin's parent had to leave to their native early in the morning before the sunrise to attend the demise of his grandfather. His parents felt helpless for not being there with him during his departure but Ashwin had persuaded them to leave immediately for the family's sake and upon Krishnakumar, Sivaangi's father's guarantee that he would send off Ashwin at the railway station before leaving to office, Prakash and his wife had half-heartedly left to their native.
"Exam iruku da" Sivaangi lied effortlessly.
Sivaangi couldn't bring herself to watch him leaving her. And from the movies that she had watched where the army man departs in a train and all his family members crying, she couldn't imagine what it would be like to send Ashwin off. She would be better off in her college.
"Indha nerathula enna dii exam" whined Ashwin.
"Adhu- Adhu data science paper da. Re-exam" she gave a tight smile.
Ashwin threw a caustic smile, "Nalla poi solla kathukitta".
"Illa da naa-"
"Paravala it's okay".
Hearing Krishnakumar calling out for him, Ashwin peeked through the window to find him standing on the road after loading in his luggages. Ashwin gestured a two minutes to him before treading back to Sivaangi.
"Sivu unkita onnu sollanum" he remarked holding her hands with reluctance and apprehension.
"Enakku unna romba pidikum" he said peering his gaze into hers.
Sivaangi chuckled, "I know. Enakkum un-"
"Oru payanuku oru ponna epdi pidikumo, apdi" he confessed making Sivaangi's world stop for a moment.
"Aana idhu thappu. Poradhuku munnadi unkita en manasu la irukradha sollanum nu thonuchu. Adhaan...thappa eduthukaadha. Bye".
Her ears went partially deaf. She could hear him but not listen. All she felt was the pain in his eyes and tone.
Before she could reply or come back to her senses, dangling his rucksack over his shoulder, he was gone.
Just few minutes later as the torturous time ticked past, Sivaangi found herself in the actively tumultuous Central Railway Station, squeezing herself through the unruly swarm of strangers.
When the hoar-frost crumbled in the heat of sunshine and the crisping steam of trains melted in the air, Sivaangi's dejected eyes searched for the man whose broken heart had infected hers.
Her feet halted abruptly when she found him staring at her in cynical shock.
A sudden clump of powerful vulnerability surged through her soul. Nevertheless, she traipsed towards him, haphazardly pushing the rebellious people around. Every step felt onerous as the path to reach him seemed to increase and lengthen by every step she moved forward.
He was so far away from her delicate hands.
When she finally neared him, her lips trembled as the water droplets that were clouding her vision freed themselves to trickle down her cheeks, "Yenda ipdi pora" she twitched intolerantly.
Ashwin sighed wearily. He shut his intensely blazing eyes tight, calming himself. He shouldn't be shedding tears right now.
"Enakku vera yenna seiradhu nu therila Sivaangi" he breathed out. "Neraya yosichen. Unkooda munna maari saadharanama pazhaga mudila. Edhachu thappa nadandhupeno nu bayama irundhuchu. Unakku yenna pudikaama poidumo nu bayam. Manasukulla aasai vechukitu un munna nadika mudila" he explained meticulously.
Over the past year, during his training and the few days that he spent with her, something so obvious had changed between them. They were aware of what it was. They were adults who not only knew its meaning but could feel it too.
Love.
Sounds sweet and short. Right?
But what does it actually give? A beautiful picture that was going to fade. A blurry future. A delightful curse from trust. Lonely tears of distress.
For once, these two souls wanted that pain of love to last forever. Because at the end of the day, it was love, bitterly excruciating or not.
But one was too afraid to embrace it sanguinely and the other was too daring to engulf it into her being.
"Edhuvum solladha ma" Ashwin put his palm in the air, stopping Sivaangi from uttering anything. His impuissantly defenseless heart wasn't ready for anything.
"Please enna azha veikadha. Kalaaiche saavadipaanunga" he let out a forced chuckle, tilting his head back to look at his comrades, glancing at them from afar.
They had only imagined lovers hugging and kissing each other while bidding bye. But the scene here was too different. No movie had shown two lovers parting ways while the military man bid adieu.
"Friends kadhalikka koodadhu nu yaar da sonna? Idhula yenna thappu iruku?" Sivaangi hissed, a slight rage erupting inside her.
Ashwin shook his head in denial, "Naan solradhu unakku purila. Problem is not our friendship".
"What else is bothering you? Sollu. Seri pannalam" she instantly wiped her tears and threw a questioning glance at him.
If both of them were going to be in a relationship, both of them would have to put efforts to solve the obstacles butting in on their journey.
"Seri panna mudiyadhu Sivaangi. Its about my job" he stressed tiredly fixing his teary gaze into hers.
Sivaangi did not reply. She was already expecting him to voice out this baseless concern.
"Unakku en velai pathi theriyum la. I don't have to explain it to you" he continued in agitation.
"Enakku purila Ashwin. Un velai kum idhukum yenna sambandham? Army la irukra yavanukum kalyanam kudumbam kedaiyadha yenna?" she demanded a sensible answer.
"Sivaangi, enakku unna evlo pidikumo, nee enakku evlo venumo, adhe alavuku enakku nee sandhoshama irukanum" his trembling hands got hold of hers, pulling her closer to him as the first drops of tears landed on her hand.
"Nee sandhoshama irundha, naan sandhosham irupen".
"Unkooda dha naan sandhoshama irupen." she muttered, looking at the hazy view of their entwined hands in pining fear.
"Naan unkoodaye iruka maaten ma" he mumbled, averting his gaze whilst her hands moulded into his strong grip.
Sivaangi crashed her head onto his chest, as if the soul could bleed an ocean through the eyes, that was the enormity of her sobbing. Ashwin shut his eyes at the sound of the short intake of breaths that she was struggling to take amidst sniffling.
Ashwin held her shoulders and gently pushed her away, distancing himself from him, "Unakku thaniya iruka maari thonum. Nichayam illadha oru vishayatha pudichu thongura maari irukum. Sandhoshatha vida sogam dha neraya irukum" he elucidated unreveling the truth that he believed.
"Vazhkai la neraya iruku Sivu. Nee un vazhkaiya nimmadhiya vazhanum. Enna pathi yosikadha".
"Periya gnani nu nenapu" Sivaangi reprimanded hurtfully.
Ashwin let out a faint smile. The train chose to squeal at the wrong time.
Ashwin saw people rushing here and there, getting into their compartments, the place became even more noisy with byes and good wishes.
Not sparing another glance at Sivaangi, Ashwin walked away from her towards the compartment where his colleagues were ready to get into the train.
Sivaangi followed him through the crowd like a yearning puppy, trying to keep up pace with his long strides.
"Appo nee kalyaname pannika maatiya?".
"Yennikaachu oru naal panni dhaane aaganum. Enna thaandi appa amma irukaanga. I'll have to move on from you and start a life for my own".
"Yennada olarura?".
"Olarula. Unmai ya pesuren. Neeyum oruthar ah kalyanam pannikanum".
"Unna thavira yaarayum kalyanam panna maaten".
"Kandipa pannanum. Atleast avaraala unakku oru future thara mudiyum. Ennala adhu mudiyaadhu. Enakkunu oru future iruka illaya ne enakku theriyadhu".
"Appo innoru ponnu kashta patta paravalaya? Enna pathi yosikra maari avala pathi yosika maatiya?"
"Neeyum avalum onnu illa ma".
"Kattika pora ponna vida naan dha mukkiyama?"
Ashwin climbed up the first stair and pivoted on his heel to face her.
"Nee enna marandhu dha aaganum Sivu" he stated again with as much harsh tone as he could.
"Naan maraka maaten" Sivaangi held the side railing in a firm grip with bloodshot eyes.
"Ennoda vaazhkai ovvoru nodiyayum poruthu iruku. Naan thirumba varama poga vaaipu iruku. Varanum nu aasai. Varuvena nu theriyadhu".
"Nee dhayavu senju enna pathi yosichi manasa pottu kozhapikaadha. Un neratha veen adikaadha" he climbed up the second stair as the train started moving slowly.
"Enakku en neratha un mela veen adikanum".
Ashwin gazed at Sivaangi's beautiful features, her unwavering gaze fixed on him. Ashwin lost his emotional stability when her cold palm wound around his nape as their foreheads dashed together.
Letting out tears that came as if their pain had at last condensed as a deluge of rain.
Sivaangi steps followed the train, not removing her hand from him by an inch. She moved along with him.
"Nalla padi. Ennikume naan unna vittu pogamaaten. Unnoda best friend eppavum unkooda dha irupan" Ashwin whispered, sniffling back the tears and intimidating her to stop moving further as the train caught up speed gradually.
Sivaangi's legs moved faster and faster. Her hands slipped from his nape to hold his fingers.
"Nee erkanave enna vittu poita Ashwin".
And just like that, their fingers lost each other's touch as the train dragged him away from her.
Ashwin was left with her dupatta that had entangled itself to his shirt button.
Sivaangi was left with nothing.
What disturbed Ashwin the most was that just for a tiny second, he had come within an inch of asking her to come along with him. The separation that he had imagined had told him it would be difficult though he hadn't spent much thought about him. But this moment, it seemed virtually unendurable.
Inchmeal, the train advanced away slowly as they disappeared from each other's sight.
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation?
*****
Next part would be updated soon. What do you think will happen next?
Love, love!
Tara🌊
01 July '22