I pull up outside Chris's house and take a deep breath.
I can do this.
I can face the guy who literally fucked me over and chose someone else than me.
I've had plenty of time to think this over. To wonder whether meeting up is the right thing to do. Of course the girls think I'm mad to even consider doing what I'm going to suggest to him, but I can't leave things on a bad note. I know I'll always regret that if I do.
Plus, it's an adult way of doing things and showing that I can be cool about what happened. I'm not going to hide myself away just because it's over. I have too much shit to do.
The office is about to open and the last of the list of things I've had to do is almost complete. I have my agents, I have a few potential homes ready to go live. I just need to chill and get this meeting with Chris over and done with and then I can more forward.
As I get out of the car, Dodger appears and races towards me, jumping up and licking me as I calm him. "Hello gorgeous boy" I smile and hug him tight.
I've missed him a lot.
As I look up, I can see Chris now waiting for me by the front door and whistle to Dodger to follow. He does, bushy tail upright and swinging happily from side to side.
"Hey". I smile faintly and give Chris a hug for good measure.
"Hey". He says gently and we head inside. "You want a coffee?" He asks as we make our way into the kitchen.
"Only if you're having one". I shrug. I hope this is gonna be ok and not as awkward as I feel it could be. "So...how's things?"
Chris shrugs as he fiddles with the coffee machine. "The usual, how's the office coming along?"
"We open next week, got some houses on my books already as with Adrienne's connections here the promotion has been pretty good"
"Off to a strong start then, but I suppose without Adrienne then you probably would've been anyway". He tells me as he turns around and leans back against the counter, crossing his arms.
I get to the point. "What did you want to talk about?"
He looks at me, "you know exactly what" and then looks at the floor. "Fleur...I'm the worlds biggest idiot, more than that - I never meant for things to go as far as they did, but we hadn't seen one another and..."
I stop him. "I know...and I guess I don't blame you for that. I mean I pretty much put my career before you".
"No, this is all on me. Jenny and I connected when we were shooting Gifted and then when you were away we grew closer. I suppose I didn't think you'd ever get over here".
I shake my head. "I didn't either. Do you love her?" I ask.
"I don't know..."
"And what about me?"
He says nothing for a moment. "I still love you..."
"You must feel something for her though, you said you connected so something's there"
"It's not how it felt when I met you".
I swallow and say to myself that I won't cry. He's fucked up and he knows he's lost me. "Your mom still wants me to see her and the family. I can do that but I think we know that it's over for us." I look at him hurt. "I don't like leaving things in a negative light and if you can handle it, then I'd like to stay friends, be amicable and stuff. I don't wanna fight and I know you don't wanna either".
Chris contemplates it, I can see him thinking it over before he nods - he knows things can't go back to how they were. "I'd rather have you as a friend than nothing at all, but I'm always gonna love and care about you Fleur".
I walk over to him and give him a hug. "Same here, you're lucky I don't hold grudges Evans, we gave it our best shot". I tell him as I feel his strong arms around me. "Plus I miss Dodge a hell of a lot".
He chuckles lightly against me, both of us not really wanting to let go, "I'll give you shared custody if you really want".
"Well if ever you can't take him for filming then I'll gladly babysit".
"He makes for a better boyfriend too". Chris smiles lightly and passes me my coffee. "He's missed you".
On hearing that we're talking about him, Dodger comes and flops down at our feet. "I've missed you too, I'll have a bed waiting for you at my office when you come see me". I crouch down and rub his belly, to which he begins to roll excitedly from side to side. "I know! It's exciting!"
We can do this. As he said about me, I'll still love and care for him in my own way, but this? It's better this way, even if sometimes it may still hurt when we look at one another.