I Can Love You Like That
Alizarin
It's been weeks after the incident at the orphanage. Yula returned a few days later when he was informed of what happened. Only then was Ambrose introduced to me, when both of them returned to the city bearing news of Ambrose's pregnancy. It was supposed to be a celebration for the couple. However, knowing Ciarra's situation, they couldn't bear to celebrate and be happy.
Ciarra has been silent after that incident. Heck, she's been ignoring me for the past weeks now. As much as I want to see her and support her, they told me that she needs time on her own. I wanted to see her so bad, so that I can assure myself that she's coping up well, however, I knew deep inside that she doesn't want to see anyone. She even rejected seeing her own best friend.
According to Yula, it was best for us to distance from her for a while. If we try to push her so hard, she might end up doing self-harm, which was something we don't want to happen.
"Hey, are you listening to me? Earth to Mr. Alizarin Ivory Renard?" I snapped out of my thoughts when Keiran, my sister, kept on waving her hand in front of my face, her left brow raised in a perfect arch. I pushed her hand away from my face and frowned. She then giggled, green eyes glinting with mirth.
Keiran was my perfect carbon copy, with our same green eyes and dark auburn hair. The only difference was she looked younger for her age. And acts younger, too.
"What are you doing here, Keiran Aquamarine?" she scowled when I mentioned her full name. She always hated her name, said it was too colorful for her. Sporting a black dress, white heels and a grey scarf around her neck, my sister looked at me expectantly.
Looking at the way she dresses now, she doesn't look like she was a member of the Army before.
"You forgot, didn't you?" she pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. I racked my brain trying to remember the possible reason she might be in my office. Suddenly remembering my promise to have lunch with her, I stood up from my chair and took my coat. It was mid-August and the weather lately was cooler than normal.
"You're always busy with work that's why you always forget to dine with me." I dramatically rolled my eyes when she started whining like a kid, hugging my right arm as we left the office. From what I recall, her husband was away in the army that's why she's here bugging me again.
We arrived at the resto that we always eat in when we're together. She then sat near the windows, saying she wanted to witness the busy street of the city while enjoying her meal.
Dramatic woman.
As we waited for our food, Keiran told me stories about her travels anywhere around the globe, telling me at the same time to unwind once in a while. "You know I am willing to handle the company for a few weeks if you decided to take a vacation. You're not getting any younger, brother, you should be looking for a wife right now. How old are you again, 30?"
"31, Keir. How could you forget your own age? We're twins, for pete's sake." She chuckled at the sudden realization before again nagging at me to look for a wife. I didn't tell her that I already found a candidate. However, with our current situation, I doubt that I'll get married anytime soon.
Sighing, I can't help but wonder how she was right now. Was she eating right? Was she skipping meals? I couldn't help but worry at the thought of her not eating her meals on time.
"Who's she? Brother, do you know her? She's been staring at us for a while now." My thoughts were once again interrupted by my sister's voice. I glanced at the direction she was looking and immediately stood up.
A few feet outside, Ciarra was looking at us, frozen in place. She's wearing a cream-colored chiffon dress that went a few inches above her knees.
What was she doing out in the cold only wearing that?
In a flash, I was already standing in front of her, her eyes lingered at something behind me before meeting my gaze. Her hazel eyes seemed dull amidst the afternoon sun. "Why are you standing outside? Are you okay? How are you feeling?" I asked, rubbing her arms, trying to give her some warmth as I knew she easily gets cold.
I can't help but bombard her with questions when this is the first time I saw her after what happened at the orphanage. After knowing the partial reason why she acted that way, I became warry of the words and actions that I might say and do in front of her. I don't want her to have another episode, especially if I'm the possible cause of it.
She was about to open her mouth when Keiran suddenly appeared beside me, "Hey, I just got a call from the nanny, the kids are causing trouble again, I gotta go. Don't worry, I already paid for the food, you both can go in and eat. I'll see you later." She gave me a peck on the lips before hailing a taxi.
I looked back at Ciarra who stood there frozen. When I offered to take her inside so we can talk, she just nodded her head, silently following me.
The food arrived and she was still silent, so not like her usual self. I was about to ask if she was feeling something when she suddenly whispered. It was so silent that I almost didn't hear it, "Who's she?"
I was about to open my mouth when she looked away from me, her hand flying towards her cheek. I panicked when I saw tears flowing from her eyes.
"Hey, hey, why are you crying? Shh, don't cry. Are you hurt? Are you in pain?" I couldn't focus when the woman I love was crying in front of me without me knowing the reason why.
"Who is she? Is she your wife? She mentioned about kids, are they yours?" She stopped the barrage of questions when she sobbed. I quickly crouched down beside her seat and wiped her tears, caging her face with my hands as I forced her to look at me in the eyes.
Heck. I wouldn't let her have another panic attack just because she saw my sister kiss me on the lips.
"Hey, look at me. You have nothing to worry about me, okay? That woman you saw earlier was my twin, okay? She was and is my twin sister, okay? She kissed me on the lips because it was like second nature to us. Heck, we even bathe together when we were younger, so it's not an issue for us, alright? About the kids you heard earlier, they're her sons, twins also. Her husband was away for now, so she asked me to have lunch with her. Okay? Stop crying, please." I continued wiping her face as her tears flowed like an endless stream. Any more crying and I'm gonna join her. Fuck.
She was dumbfounded for a while, before she removed my hands holding her face and looking away, a tinge of pink forming on her cheeks.
I couldn't help but be merry at the thought of her being jealous. But that feeling was short-lived as I don't want to witness her crying again. Add to the fact that she wasn't her usual self right now, I don't want to trigger anything that might cause her pain.
"Stop crying now, okay? I hate seeing those tears ruin your beautiful eyes." I smiled when she nodded, sniffling.
We then started eating our meal, but she still continued to be silent. I didn't push her for questions and just let her be. I wasn't prepared for the possible answer as to why she was now outside. There was no guarantee that she would even answer my questions if I asked.
After our meal, I offered to take her to my office, as I still have a ton of work to do.
She silently nodded as I held her hand while walking towards the building of Renard Industries, which was a few meters away from the restaurant.
As we arrived in front of the building, her eyes widen and looked at me with a complicated expression on her face.
I nodded at her, understanding what she wanted to imply, "I know. It's complicated for the two of us now, huh?" she stayed silent until we reached my office, still not letting go of my hand.
Right now, her silence is killing me. I don't know what she's thinking. I can't even read the expression on her face anymore. Her head was just bowed, as she seemed to be thinking deeply about something.
Renard Industries is the company that my grandfather established on his early years. After his death, the company was handed over to my father, where it started to gain popularity in the field of shipping and logistics. Renard Industries is also the number one competitor of Callaway Companies.
Her company.
Although Callaway Companies focuses on accommodations and lodging, they had a few cruise ships that travels around the world. And recently, they just acquired a subsidiary company focused on manufacturing ships and are now starting to enter the field of logistics.
"How are you feeling--?"
"What did they tell you?" I was slightly surprised when we asked questions simultaneously. She looked nervous for a second. As if she didn't want me to know about what happened to her.
What does she not want me to know?
I sat next to her, trying to read every expression on her face, "Enough for me to understand. But not enough for me to know the whole story." At my answer, she nodded her head, seeming to be deep in thought.
"I don't want you to know, but I guess you need to." She sighed, fiddling at her fingers.
After a while of being silent, she took in a deep breath and faced me as we sat next to each other on the couch.
"Before you tell me something, I just want you to know that I will always be here for you. I will try to understand whatever it is that you keep from me. I admired the woman you were years ago, and I'm telling you now that I will continue to admire the woman you have now become, flaws and all." I held her hand tightly in mine, giving her courage to say whatever it is she has to say to.
If it was a part of her past, I will accept it, as I have accepted her whole.
She glanced up at me, her eyes brimming with tears. Her words knocked the breath from my lips.
"I killed my own brother."