"Thanks for watching Cielo. Today took an...uneventful turn," I told Madame Michel, pulling a new shirt over my freshly washed skin. I already had a white bra on, black jeans, and a backwards cap. It said Camphor in big white letters. We stood in front of Cielo's room as she sat inside.
"I assume that Cielo is going to be a little stressed then today?"
"Yes...just try to be understanding," I sighed. It was around three, and in several hours I'd be wasted in another city. I should be at villa instead...explaining things to Cielo. Comforting her. Being her mom.
"Could you prepare her something? I wanna talk to her alone for a moment," I said.
Madame Michel left Cielo's bedroom, heading to the kitchen.
Cielo sat on her bed, staring straight ahead as she kicked her legs in a slow pattern.
"Cielo?"
She ignored me.
"Mommy's sorry for lying."
She stopped kicking.
"I know you're old enough to understand that Mommy lied today back at the parking lot. Could you draw for me what you saw? How much you saw?"
Cielo nodded once, sliding off of the bed and grabbing her pencils and paper. She only liked to draw on yellow paper for now, but I was slowly lightening the shades she used here until she could use white paper.
I let her scribble for a couple of minutes.
The nanny peeked her head in after awhile, "Still here, Ms. Kelley?"
"Cielo's showing me something," I told her.
"Oh, what is it?" The nanny stepped into the room curiously.
"It's fine," I gave her a tight smile. I'd rather not have to reveal my life style to her today. "It's something private."
"Understood."
Cielo handed me the drawing she made, a somewhat solemn expression on her face.
I stared down at the drawing: red scribbles on the bottoms of the cars, a stick figure on the ground with tears, another figure (who I could assume was me), laughing with a gun.
She had seen me. She had seen everything.
"Cielo," my voice cracked a little.
I tried to do our elbow/hands thing and she moved away from me. She understands that her Mommy is a bad person.
"Cielo, you shouldn't have seen that," I bit down on my lip, trying to keep my tears from spilling over. I had been raised in this lifestyle- bred to be the one to take over the family cartel so that my father could do what he wanted. I was trying to give Cielo a normal childhood, but the reality of things is that Camphor isn't a normal place.
I could have waited to hurt Mira.
I squeezed my eyes shut, I could have waited.
"Cielo, what Mommy did was very bad, okay?"
She didn't look at me, kicking again as she sat on the edge of the bed, furthest away from me.
"You know you'll have to do it too someday?"
Thump, thump, thump.
"I'm sorry that I'm not doing enough to save you...or Grandma."
Thump, thump, thump.
"Maybe when you get older, you'll realize the way that Camphor really is. This city, this lifestyle," I told her softly. "Maybe you'll be able to run away. But it has its claws too deep in my skin."
Thump, thump, thump.
"My only choice is to stay still...and let the blood run out of me...slowly," my voice faltered.
I stood, giving her a gentle pat on the knee and left out of her room with the drawing. I crumbled it up in my hands and left the villa without a warning- the only sound of my descent the slam of the front door.
Grass is everywhere here. Grass and stones. Ants, fake flowers, real flowers, wild flowers on this grass hill. The sun is beaming down hard on me, and the trees whisper in the distance with the sounds of loud insects and other wild life.
I stared down at Jovan's grave.
I hold my hand on her name, sitting next to the grave with my legs folded underneath me. I release the paper underneath my palm and let it flutter away in the wind.
"This shit is harder than I thought it would be Jovan. At least you had an option," I whispered. I was the only one at the cemetery, but I might as well have a dozen witnesses the way I sat out in the bare open.
"I remember being so mad when Dad told you that you didn't have to be the next-in-line heir in case...something happened to me. That you could do what you wanted. I was so bitter being your older sister," I admitted, "Forced to get a kid. Forced to live a certain way. Helpless to do anything for Mom. But then...it took you dying," I paused for a moment, staring down at her name, "for me to realize that it wasn't your fault. It was his. Shit, even Mom's too a little. If she had fought harder...just a little bit..."
I yanked up a weed, holding it in my hand and inspecting it as I finally let the tears fall. "It's been a year...since you left me. Now I only have Aunt Kay."
I gave the grave a gentle smile. "She's married now."
I used the end of my shirt to wipe my face, my gun tumbling out. I picked it up, placing it on her stone. "I'm having a hard time with Cielo. Not only was I not ready to bring her into my life...her diagnosis is hard for us to both handle at times. I just feel childish dealing with her. Irresponsible. I feel like I'm playing the role of a parent, and honestly not a very good one. I can't let her end up like this...there has to be something more I can do..."
BLIPT BLIPT.
I heard the first soundings of automatic gunfire.
I ducked down, grabbing my small weapon, and laying flat as I looked across the perimeter of the cemetery. I slowly reached into my pocket to grab my phone.
I called up Gator, my top nigga; my breathing rough.
"What's up?"
"Camphor Cemetery. Jovan's grave. I heard gunshots, I'm on the side with-
Gunshots cut me off.
"I'm on the way!"
I stayed to the ground. I didn't have any sort of advantage. I didn't even know if I was being shot at for sure. I was out in the open, my biggest weakness, and I didn't have enough bullets to fight off somebody with an automatic.
I heard tires squealing, hoping that it was Gator.
I started moving towards the shade of a nearby tree. Assuming no one was hidden in the tree line, I could camouflage in the woods and run to safety. Maybe even climb one of these bastards and look over the cemetery.
I kept moving slowly, my gun clutched in my hand, my phone in my back pocket. "C'mon, c'mon," I mumbled to myself.
I heard the gunfire again and decided to risk it, hopping up and running for the trees. I immediately started climbing, tucking my gun into my pants.
I was natural on the tree, avoiding the weak limbs and pulling myself upwards. A bird shot out of the tree somewhere above me, ruffling the leaves.
Down below, black SUV's were at the entrance of the cemetery, just sitting there. But why? And for who?
I still couldn't spot the gunman. Or, gunwoman.
I pulled out my phone again, sitting in a little cranny of the tree. "Gator, where are you? I'm not sure I'm being shot at but it looks like I'm the only one here. No eyes on the shooter."
"I'm almost there. I brought a couple of guys with me. Some of them were selling some weed on Main."
"Good," I kept my eyes on the ground below. "When you have the time, make sure my villa is guarded...I'm sure my father wouldn't let anything happen to his House, so don't worry about that."
"I'm pulling up now. I'll handle that."
"Thank you."
I put my phone back up, spotting someone moving.
I aimed my gun, ready to shoot if the need arises.
"Ay yo!" I heard Gator's voice clear across the land.
Gator was my top goon, strong, tough, and fast. When you look into his eyes you can see all the people he's killed almost, the bruises and scars across his brown skin shows the battles he's fought.
Gator approached the shooter moving towards where I had stood carefully.
"What's up, man? Any problems?" Gator yelled, holding his gun down as the men behind him trained their guns at the other person.
"Hey, I was just hired to take somebody out!" the shooter shouted back, inching away from Gator.
I made sure my gun was perfectly aimed at the man's head. I could see him better now as he moved towards the tree line. Nobody I knew...for certain, but he could be affiliated with any crew in the city.
"Who?" Gator barked out, raising his long gun.
"Nyia Kelley!"
"I'm sorry, man. That can't do," Gator stopped yelling. If the cemetery had been loud, I wouldn't have heard him. I stayed still in the trees. His voice was calm as he said his next words, "We work for Ms. Kelley."
"I'm just the midman here. My boss wants her head, and I need the cash."
"Who's your boss?" Gator asked.
The shooter dropped to his knees slowly, his gun pointed in the air. "I can't say that. I'm willing to give my life up in protection of h-
Gator shot him dead between the eyes, close range.
"Thanks Gator. Check out those SUV's parked up front too," I called out, slowly making my way down the tree. A sense of relief washed over me as Gator took down the threat. Still...that means someone out here wants my head.
"You can't go anywhere alone. If you didn't reach your phone, you could've died, Ms. Kelley," Gator argued.
"I didn't because some amazing people work for me," I smiled gratefully.
"Our families are in debt to the Kelley line," one of the men behind Gator stated bluntly.
"I just needed to see Jovan's grave," I ignored the man, my head hung low.
"She's in a better place," Gator reassured me.
"I hope so," I shook my head, resting my arms on top of it. Jovan had died in a shootout, affiliated with our cartel. We never caught who got her good.
"I don't know that man from shit but he looked familiar at the same time," I admitted, "I was trying to brush it off. I feel like I've seen him somewhere."
"Do you think he could have..."
"He might have," I stared down at his cold body. Stared at the blood leaking from his temple and his gaunt expression. "Mira's dead too. I expect her family to let out a few attacks until they're worth nothing in Camphor. They're broke and they don't have any claim on anything worth shit. This could be her people's doing. They're in debt to the Kelley line," I turned my gaze to Gator, "You know what that means."
Gator held his gun upwards, "I'll start collecting payments from her family and gang members."
"And if they don't have it?" I prompted him.
"Then their families will be in debt to the cartel."
"And their gangs?"
"Will be given to the cartel."
"Thanks, Gator. You're really a big help," I patted him on the shoulder, walking past him and his men.
"Mira's gonna have hell to pay when I see her on the other side," I called out over my shoulder.
"Don't be so sure that it had anything to do with her," Gator commented. I didn't look back, taking his words in account.
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