My mouth hands slightly agape. I knew this was coming but there was a small part of me that hoped my father would turn down Dane's plan. It doesn't make sense to me. Anger floods my body and I feel my face get hot,
"You can't be serious." Is all I can come up with. My eyes are trained on my father. He shakes his head and runs a hand over his face.
"I am deadly serious and you are not going to fight this. This alliance will solidify the power we have in this organization, Adalyn." My mind is running a million miles per minute. I know I don't have any say in this, I have to be subordinate to my father. I shake my head in disbelief, any sort of respect I had for my father has quickly died.
"Whatever you say." I reply to him. Who know what this means for me now. I know that all appearances will have to be made with Dane now. Surely he doesn't actually want me to follow through in a legitimate marriage with him, right? I turn on my heel to walk away, but am stopped by another voice,
"This means you are not only subordinate to me, but Dane as well now. Your sole responsibility is to tend the Soldier and help create contracts when needed. That is all, agent." My father speaks. It stings a little as he calls me agent, but all I can do is nod.
"Understood." I say in a monotonous tone. I leave the office and walk the halls. Hopefully Dane doesn't follow me.
I have no destination in particular, but I know if I go back to my room I can easily be found. I know for a fact if my mom were still alive this would not have happened. It's disgusting my father even considered Dane's proposition. He's easily in his mid twenties, and I'm not even eighteen yet. This isn't right but I know nobody can stop it.
I end up in the Soldier's room and see that I left the bloody knife on the desk. My mind flashes with different ideas and uses for the knife but I know I cannot follow through with any of them. I grab the cool metal handle and take it outside to the lab and clean it off. The rusty red blood wipes off the blade and swirls down the drain.
I return the blade to its place in the briefcase. I can't jeopardize my position here by trying to pull off some stupid attempt. Plus, if I were excommunicated from the organization I have nowhere else to go. However, I feel as though I would not be excommunicated, but executed. I take a seat at my desk and sigh, letting my head rest on my arms. Maybe things won't be as bad as I expect them to be.
I silently stand as agents buzz around all around me. Today another Winter Soldier contract is going to be completed. As I had predicted, after the success of the first one, we received several other contracts in the following days. However, I no longer have a hand in creating them. Meaning I have no control over the terms, the only thing I have control over is the man himself.
The Soldier stands on one side of me, and Dane the other. I've noticed that while Dane makes advances on me when we're together one on one, he doesn't dare try to touch me while the Soldier is near. It's ironic that the world's most elusive and elite assassin is the one person who makes me feel the safest.
In the weeks following the agreement, I've taken the backseat on most of the duties I used to be in charge of. Dane now speaks at all public events regarding the Soldier and he creates the contracts as well. In the eyes of the organization and Hydra's clients, Dane is the one in charge of the Winter Soldier.
"Sir are you good for transportation?" The Hydra agent asks Dane. Dane nods his head and the three of us load up in the armored vehicle.
The ride is brief, though I did zone out for more than half of the trip. I just haven't been able to feel like myself lately. It's like I don't have a personal identity anymore, I'm just here to serve others. I'm a tool for them, and not much more.
We reach the destination and the communications equipment is set up. I check the Soldier over once more to make sure he has all of his necessary equipment. I give him another short pep talk before he's whisked away to the hit point.
I stand with the others around the monitors and feel Dane's arm snake around my waist. I resist the urge to get sick all over the monitors and instead swallow the lump in my throat. His advances on me haven't been easier to handle, it gets harder each time.
I bite down on the inside of my cheek and do my best to focus on the monitor and mentally remove myself from the contact Dane is making with my body. I watch as the Soldier is put into position and the earpiece given to him. These contracts are almost routine at this point.
To make the hits easier to watch, I began picturing Dane as the one getting assassinated. In a way it's almost therapeutic to think of the target being him. The Soldier is creative sometimes in the way he chooses to dispatch the targets. I've noticed he seems to prefer using knives over guns if he can.
Watching the Soldier complete his missions is interesting. At first, it was difficult to watch but now it's become something so routine that the feeling has numbed itself. It still hurts if I think about it too much, so I quit thinking about it. I quit thinking about a lot of things lately.
The hit begins and I watch the Soldier cooly and calmly approach the targets. He throws a blade at one, hitting the man in the neck. The man falls to the ground and the Soldier rips the blade out of his neck as he walks past. The Soldier makes his way to the other target who is trying to open a door to escape, but can't seem to get the handle to move. Probably because we had an agent barricade it before the hit.
The soldier pulls a small gun from a side holster and shoots the man point blank. Another successful mission it seems. As usual, people celebrate. Every time a contract is carried out successfully people act like it's the first time all over against, it's becoming quite bland and boring.
"Another great day." Dane says and pulls me into him. I stare at the corpses on the monitor. At least now I know I'm about to get some time away from Dane. He never accompanies me to the Soldier's room after missions and I'm thankful for that.
Once we arrive back at the base I quickly excuse myself and the Soldier. I can tell Dane is upset I got away so quickly so I'll probably have to deal with that later. But for now, I need to focus on the Soldier and making sure he's taken care of. He is my only priority.
As usual, I take his weapons off and store them, keeping the bloody blades on the desk so they can be cleaned separately. I gather the rubbing alcohol, water, and cotton balls so I can clean his skin up. He closes his eyes as I remove the eye black and for a moment he almost looks relaxed. But I can tell from the tension in his shoulders that he's anything but.
I take my time to be sure that he's in good condition and that he's clean of all blood. I run a wet cotton ball over his hands, wiping away any dried flecks of blood that may have spattered on him.
I wish so badly that I could just take the Soldier and get away from here. He deserves a second shot at life, and I hate being here. But I know that's not a possibility. So instead, I try to make his life as comfortable as I can, to show him he's cared for. I know I'm the only one here who still views him as a human, and not just a killing machine.
I brush his hair like I do after every mission, and I hum the same song. I think doing this shows him he's cared for and in a way it makes me feel as if my mother is still here with me. I know my mom would be proud of me for showing as much mercy as I can to this poor man I'm responsible for.
I feel like the Soldier and I have some unexplainable bond to one another. We're both like caged animals in this place, unable to exercise our free will. We're under the rule of others here, but he has it much worse than I do.
I finish our routine and he gets into the cryogenesis chamber. I kiss his stubble-covered cheek and engage the cryogenesis cycle once more. I take my time in cleaning up the cotton balls and other supplies, I know nothing good waits for me once I'm done here.
I clean the blades in the sink and watch the brown water go down the drain. I dry the metal and look around the empty laboratory. My eyes linger on the spot where Leroy was shot years ago. He didn't deserve to die.
Eventually, I put the blades back in their cases and go to my room. As expected, Dane is already waiting for me in there, picking at some of the flaking paint on the wall. He hears me enter the room and he looks at me with nothing but disappointment on his face. I already know what's coming.
"Adalyn, dear. You and I both know your behavior today was unacceptable. What has gotten into you? You know how you are to act on these contract missions. If you don't keep up appearances people will begin to question us. They'll question how strong our bond is and then question how strong their leadership is. We both know we can't have that. Right?" He asks, a mad look in his eyes. This man is unhinged. I lick my lips and look up at him,
"I know, I'm sorry for my actions today. It won't happen again." I say, not really meaning any of it. Maybe people should question their leadership here. Dane stalks over to me,
"It better not happen again. Do you need reminded of your place?" He asks and I shake my head, not that it is going to deter him from doing what he already intends to.
"Speak." He demands, leaning in close to my face.
"No, sir." I say in a soft tone.
"I don't believe you." He says and I know I haven't done a good job convincing him I'm truly sorry.
I feel his hands start roaming my body, and I feel like I could pass out. His hands feel like fire on my skin. He lets himself touch me in any way and place that he desires. I close my eyes and fight back tears. I wish I could stop this but I know it's best to just let him do what he wants. He tends to get violent if I protest against him. The last time I tried to fight him off he violated me in the most abhorrent way possible. I'll do anything to keep that from happening again.
I feel his hot breath on my skin as he forces me to kiss him. I squeeze my eyes shut and dig my fingernails into the palm of my hand. It feels like he forces himself onto me for an eternity. He releases me from his grasp and puts his hand underneath my chin to force me to meet his eyes.
I feel my eyes watering but I fight them back. He caresses my cheek with his thumb and I clench my jaw tightly.
"Adalyn, honey. You're mine. Remember that." He says in a sickly sweet tone. He walks out of the room and as soon as he's gone I let the tears fall down my face. In some twisted way, I still think I got off quite easily that time, at least it was only a kiss this time.
I curl up into a ball on my bed and hold my pillow close to me. The tears won't stop falling from my eyes and I fight to keep my breath steady. I feel like I could hyperventilate and throw up. I hate Dane with every fiber of my being. I hate what he does to me.