"Charlee, your line," Maya says to me, breaking me out of my daydream.
I shake my head slightly as my eyes bring the room back to focus.
"I'm sorry. I got distracted," I tell Maya.
At this point, a more accurate description of the situation would be that distraction has been my default setting all day.
I look at Maya sitting on the other end of the couch, script in her hand, as she sighs.
"What's going on Charlee? You've been so distracted today, this isn't like you," Maya questions me.
I can hear the concern in her voice.
"She's right Charlee, this isn't like you. Normally you take running lines way too seriously. What's happened?" Robert adds.
I look over to Robert, who is sitting on the couch across from us. We are sitting in our regular spot in the break area.
I pick at the hole in my jeans, gathering my thoughts.
"Nothings happened. I'm fine, seriously guys," I try to assure both my friends.
Robert and Maya exchange worried glances, unconvinced.
"Charlee," Maya says softly.
I look into her eyes, and I can see she's genuinely concerned.
"Did something happen with Joe again? Is everything okay?" She asks me.
I sigh. I feel guilty for making them worry. I swallow, and look at my friends.
"No, no. He's fine. We're fine. It's just... I think... I love him," I say.
My heart feels as though it's going to fall out of my chest as I say the words out loud.
Maya gives me a look.
"You only just figured this out?" She laughs.
I frown at her, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.
"Yes. This is entirely new information for me," I say slowly.
Robert sighs, and I look over at him.
"It's normal for this to be weird for Charlee, she doesn't normally let people in like this," Roberts gently explains to Maya.
Maya nods slowly at Robert, and then turns to me.
"Did you tell him?" She asks me.
I shake my head fiercely.
"No way. I don't even know if I should tell him yet. He said he wants to take things slow... besides, don't you think it's a bit early?" I say to her.
Maya just stares at me, saying nothing but shaking her head slightly.
"He will take it well. Trust me," She eventually says, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of her mouth.
As she looks at me, I'm reminded of the fact that Joe had talked to her about me for a long time before her and I were ever friends, and that they still talk. She knows him best, so I should trust her judgement. Right?
"There's also the fact that... I've never said it to anyone before," I say in a small voice.
Mayas eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Robert looks at me sadly. He already knew this about me.
"Anyone?" Maya asks me.
I press my lips together, stalling my answer.
"Like, friends and family, yeah. But never anyone I've dated," I say.
"Damn, I think I've told everyone I've ever met," Maya contemplates.
"Thanks Maya. That makes me feel special," Robert tells Maya, laughing.
"Oh, shut up. You know you're special to me, idiot. I'm at your house like everyday aren't I?" Maya laughs, throwing a cushion at Robert who dodges it with a smirk.
"You wouldn't have to come over all the time, if you lived with me," Robert shot back.
Maya rolls her eyes.
"This again?" She groans.
I laugh.
"There's no perfect timeline for relationships, Charlee. You do what feels right, when it feels right. If you love him, tell him," Robert says to me, ignoring Mayas complaint.
I nod at Robert as I consider what he's saying. He's right really, what good does waiting really do? I already feel how I feel, waiting doesn't stop that.
"I'm going to tell him," I say, my heart beginning to race as I say the words out loud.
"You should tell him at the party tomorrow!" Maya says, "That way we're all around you to support you if you need it, and you have a cool party to celebrate your love at,"
"Yeah. Okay, I'll do it tomorrow," I say, nodding my head slowly.
A mix of anxiety and excitement fills my body as I realise what I've agreed to. I'm going to tell someone I'm dating, that I love them for the first time.
"Dacre!" Robert suddenly exclaims.
I look up to see Dacre sitting down next to Robert.
"Hey mate," Dacre says to Robert, with a grin.
I smile. If you told me at the start of this year, that Robert would be friends with Dacre and dating Maya, and that I'd be dating Joe, I'd have laughed in your face. How so much has changed, in such a little amount of time. At least we avoided a love hectagon? Between Robert, Dacre, Gemma, Joe and I. That would have been messy.
"Aren't you finished filming for your scenes?" Maya asks Dacre.
I still can't tell if she's still jealous about Roberts previous crush on him. She seems so secure in their relationship.
Dacre rubs the back of his neck with his hand, and smiles sheepishly.
"Yeah, I've just been stopping by to see everyone as much as I can. I can't believe this is the last time I'm working with you all here. I'm going to miss you all," Dacre says sadly.
"Will you be at the party tomorrow?" I ask him.
"Yeah, it should be good. Natalia wants to throw a goodbye one for me, but that's too many parties too close together and I'll see everyone there tomorrow anyways, so I told her not to," Dacre explains.
Maya laughs, and we turn our heads to her.
"Not sure Natalia will listen to you," She says.
Dacre laughs at that too.
"Yeah probably not, but it's pretty short notice," He replies.
I rest my chin on my hand, and frown.
"Wait, when are you leaving?" I ask Dacre.
He licks his lips and then sighs, stalling before he answers.
"Two weeks," Dacre tells me, looking at me in the eyes with that same sadness as before.
I start to feel that sadness wash over me too. I'm not ready to say goodbye so soon, not knowing when I'll see him again.
"Good, so you'll be able to help Maya and I move in together," Robert chirps.
Dacres eyebrows shoot up, and Maya rolls her eyes and looks up at the ceiling. She's playing annoyed, but I can see that same smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
"You guys are moving in together?" Dacre asks, surprised.
"Yeah, I just need to finalise some details," Robert explains to him.
Maya snorts, and lifts her head up.
"Yeah, like me agreeing to move in," Maya says with a smirk.
Robert waves his hand at her.
"Minor details," He says, smirking back at her.
I feel two hands rest on my shoulders, and turn my head to see Joe looking down at me with the most adorable smile.
His hair falling on his face again, he leans down, and kisses me quickly, but tenderly.
My minds voice starts reminding me again.
I love him.
"I think you're due on set soon, Maya," Joe tells her.
Maya looks at her watch, and then jumps.
"Oh shit! I need to get to hair and makeup! Charlee, you want to finish running the lines over the weekend?" Maya asks me.
I nod at her, and Robert follows her rushing out of the room. Joe takes Mayas seat, sitting next to me.
"Hey man, how are you going?" Joe says to Dacre with a nod.
Dacre rubs his chin.
"Yeah, good. I was just talking about how sad I am to leave you all though," Dacre says, finishing with a sad chuckle.
I glance at Joe, and his face falls a little.
"I'm going to miss working with you," He says to Dacre sincerely.
"Me too, but we'll have the premiere and promo stuff," Dacre says.
I look back and forth between the two boys. There really seems to be no love lost between them, after Dacre revealed how he felt about me.
I give silent thanks that these two boys are too mature and sweet to act like macho meatheads, who stake their claim on women. I also give a silent thanks that I hadn't inadvertently gotten between their friendship.
I smile.
"Ready to go watch that movie?" Joe asks me, reminding me I'd promised to watch a movie at his tonight.
"Yeah, but not Twilight this time," I tease him.
Joe pouts.
"I thought you liked it?" Joe asks.
"I do! Just not in the mood for that right now," I reply.
As Joe contemplates our movie options, we gather our things and say goodbye to Dacre before leaving.
*****
"Okay," Joe says as he sits down next to me on his blue corduroy couch, passing me the popcorn.
"Half butter, salt and sugar. Don't worry, I made it just how you like it," He says with a knowing smile, before continuing, "What kind of movie are you in the mood for?"
I bring the popcorn bowl to my nose and smell the hot, sweet and salty goodness. A smile creeps onto my face, and I look over to Joe who is shaking his head and laughing at me.
"Post-apocalyptic," I answer him.
Joe nods, not questioning my choices. He knows by now that my tastes are eclectic. He brings up Netflix on the tv, and browses through the options.
"Terminator?" Joe suggests.
"Hmmm, if we start from the start, it's kind of pre-apocalyptic isn't it," I tell him.
Joe tilts his head slightly, considering what I'm saying. I'm right though, of course.
"Yeah that's true... I Am Legend?" He asks.
I shake my head forcefully.
"Nope, no zombies," I say, putting some popcorn in my mouth.
It would definitely be easier for me to just take the remote and decide, but I like seeing what people would pick for me. It's like a glimpse into their perceptions of me.
"Stop eating all the popcorn before the movie starts," Joe says to me.
"We have more," I say with a shrug.
For some reason saying that ignites a swarm of butterflies in my stomach, beating against my body looking for a way out. We have more. As if we were some old domesticated married couple.
"Yeah, but you'll be too engrossed in the movie and I'll be the one making more," He complains.
His tone sounds annoyed, but a content smile sits comfortably on his face and I think he doesn't mind too much. I think he likes these little homely moments together too. Maybe as much as I do.
For a moment, I consider telling him now. Why wait until tomorrow really? Maya is sure he will react well, so why I'm I so worried about rejection?
"I've got it. War Of The Worlds," Joe says triumphantly.
I squint my eyes at him, pushing the idea of a love declaration to the back of my mind.
"Did you pick this because of Tom Cruise?" I ask, suspiciously.
Joe turns to me slowly.
"You do like him right?" He asks me, nervously.
Why is he nervous?
"I do, for his acting. I don't think you look like him though, if that's what you were thinking," I laugh.
Joe blushes a little. It's adorable. He shakes his head slowly.
"I told them we should have changed that reference. No one thinks I look like Tom Cruise, it just sounds silly," He says, rolling his eyes.
"You're cuter," I say, shrugging my shoulders and reaching for more popcorn, earning a smile from Joe.
"Actually I picked it because I saw you reading The Time Machine the other day, so I figured you liked H.G Wells," He tells me.
My heart misses a beat. Yeah, he really gets me.
I love him.
I push that nagging thought away, not willing to linger on it for too long yet. I'll tell him tomorrow night. That's the plan.
"Good work," I say with an approving smile.
Joe puts on the movie, and rests his hand on my thigh. He eats some of the popcorn and pulls a face.
"You okay?" I ask whispering, despite it being only us in the house.
Us.
Yeah okay, I'm starting to get way too mushy now. I need to get a grip.
"Still not used to eating popcorn with sugar on it. But, it's fine," He says with a laugh.
I lean my head on his shoulder and watch the movie.
Sure enough, we run out of popcorn about half way through, and Joe immediately gets up to make more without me even opening my mouth to ask him.
When he comes back, he hands me the bowl, despite me being the culprit of the disappearing popcorn.
Joe takes my hand and starts rubbing circles on my palm as he watches the movie.
I turn to look at him, but he's focused on the movie.
Not me though. I'm focused on him running his thumb on my hand, gently brushing my skin with his. I move my leg and it brushes up against his.
"You okay?" Joe asks me, turning his head so he can study my face.
I look into his eyes. They're so soft and caring. I reach my hand up to his cheek and smile.
"Yeah, you're just very distracting," I whisper.
Joe smiles and turns his face to kiss my hand. He moves his head lower and trails kisses down my wrist and my arm. It feels as though his lips are burning my skin, but it feels good.
He kisses the crook of my arm and then pauses, and looks at me.
"This too distracting?" Joe asks.
I swallow, then nod slowly. Joe reaches his hand behind my neck, and I think he's going to kiss me, but he moves his head past my face and starts to gently kiss my neck.
Shivers run down my spine and I let out an involuntary moan. This seems to only encourage Joe more, as he kisses my neck harder and he makes his way up my jaw and to my mouth. His fingers beginning to tangle in my hair as his lips meet mine.
We kiss roughly, pressing our lips together as hard as we can as if kissing too lightly will make us lose one another.
Joes hand reaches up my shirt, his hand warm on my skin. I pull back and take my shirt off. Joe's eyes take in my body, before settling in on my eyes.
As I look into his eyes, they seem dark. Swirling with a storm of emotions that I can't quite decipher.
"Is everything okay?" I ask him, getting worried.
Joe looks at me, before turning away.
"Yeah, I'm sorry. I just..." He lets out a sigh, running his hand over his face.
"I don't want to start something that, I'm not quite ready to finish yet," Joe says.
I blink, confused. I'm not quite sure what that actually means, until I notice him adjusting his pants.
"Oh," I say.
I glance down at my shirtless body, and reach for my shirt. As I put it on, I think about how often he pushes me away like this.
Of course I respect his decision, but I can't help but wonder if his decision is based on how I look. Maybe I'm not appealing to him.
I've never thought of myself as ugly. More so... unremarkable. I don't have the kind of looks that would warrant a second glance in the street.
"Sorry," Joe says again.
I shake my head, and rest my hand on his arm.
"Hey, don't be silly. I would never push you into doing something you're uncomfortable with," I tell him.
He looks at me with a grateful look.
"I don't want you to feel guilty about this at all, but... and you can tell me, honestly. Is it me?" I ask him, averting my eyes.
I had to ask, since I knew the question would be burning in my brain. But, I don't think I could bare the answer if it is me.
Joe cups my face in his hand, and turns my head so that I'm looking at him.
"Of course not. I'm just... scared. I'm scared I'm not going to do things right, and that I'll screw this up. I just need to wait a bit longer. Is that okay?" He asks me.
I nod slowly. What Robert said about there being no perfect timelines in relationships plays through my mind.
We don't need to wait until the perfect moment to sleep together, but we don't need to rush into it just because our hormonal instincts are taking over either.
"You're so beautiful Charlee. You know that don't you? Every inch of your face captivates my mind," Joe whispers, his hand still on my face.
My lungs are suddenly without air. They're burning. I want to believe him. I almost do. I'm like 98% of the way there, of believing that my unremarkable face has such an effect on him. But, that niggling self doubt plays in the back of my mind.
Maybe he's just saying that to make me feel better.
"Stop doubting yourself. I'm sorry I made you feel this way," Joe tells me.
I shake my head.
"Please don't feel bad, it's not your fault. This is my own insecurities, it's not your responsibility to cater to them or anything. I'll work through it," I tell him quickly.
I'm worried about him feeling like he needs to sleep with me out of guilt. I've been there, and don't want to do that to him.
A look flashes over his face. I can't quite make it out.
"I can't believe you can't see what I see. I can't believe you haven't seen how completely tortured your face has made me over this year. You're so fucking beautiful," Joe tells me. I can hear the disbelief in his voice.
I think he's being sincere. He really does feel that way. It's not the way I look that's holding him back.
"If you're feeling insecure, you don't have to deal with it on your own, by the way. I'm here for you, with anything you face. I'll be here, by your side," Joe says, leaning forward and giving me a gentle kiss on the lips.
I smile, then glance at the tv. The movie is over.
"We missed the movie!" I exclaim, putting my hand over my face and shaking my head.
"Sorry," Joe says again, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.
"Stop saying sorry! We can rewind it," I tell him.
Joe looks at me. His eyes look down at my lips, then back at my eyes. A fire burns in my stomach.
"Actually, I might go have a cold shower," He says sheepishly.
My eyebrows raise. I nod my head.
Joe gets up and walks towards his bathroom, as I sit by myself on the couch.
I reach for the remote to find something to watch while I wait. A smirk grows on my face as a realisation pops into my mind.
His mind may not have been into it, but his body certainly was.
—————
Authors Note: Hi! Posting this a little early tonight. I'm getting a migraine, I think from reading too much haha. I got a kindle, and am using as much of my 30 day free trial of kindle unlimited as I can.
I have barely any work this coming week and I've nearly finished this next chapter, so you WILL be getting a chapter this Wednesday as well. I should be able to get a good amount of writing done this week and hopefully get some chapters in the bank for more twice a week updates.
I've also got a few story ideas in my head that I'm playing around with, so I'm pretty motivated to finish this story so that I can work on the next one.
I know some authors write more than one story at a time, but between writing this, my reading addiction and work, I don't know if I could concentrate on that haha.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know I've been kind of hinting at them thinking about having sex, they are adults after all. I'm still not sure if I will do a smut scene in this book or not though, tell me what you think?
I'm feeling a bit nervous about how the next one will be received, but it's a big part of the story that I've had in my brain since pretty much the start.
I'm going to read the new chapters of The Wires (it's a Steve Harrington fanfic that follows the same story as Stranger Things with an OC insert, it's on Wattpad and it's VERY good, I'll make a recommendations list and add it there so it's easy to find. She's updated it with chapter 8 and 9 of Vol 2 already!) and try and recover from what a crazy two episodes that was and deal with the fact we've got another 2 years to find out what happens next.
Thanks for reading, commenting (I LOVE reading the comments, especially the funny ones. You guys crack me up), voting, adding the book to your lists and libraries and just all of the support, it means a lot and really pushes me to keep going. Bye bye! X