The Billionaire Mafia Boss Al...

By YYeung128

2.6K 97 74

A parody... except it slowly gets less satirical as I get way too attached to the characters and turn the sto... More

Not-So-Accurate ChatGPT Blurb
A/N and Cast
The Bad Beginning
Slowburn but Make It Quick Pt. 1
Slowburn but Make It Quick Pt. 2
It's Really Not That Deep
Author Finally Remembers to Add Plot
A Chapter of Mostly Fluff (As a Treat)
Revelation after Revelation
Ryder Isn't In This Chapter
War?!
The Sex Chapter
Unresolved Everything Else
Filler Content
Relationship Problems
Relationship Problems and Incest Pt. 2
The Most "Werewolf" Chapter In The Story
What a Rainy Ending Given to a Perfect Day
Half and Half
Rescue Mission! What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Hating Homoerotic Literature Is Not a Personality Trait
Oops, I Accidentally Committed Mass Murder
Loose Ends? Tied.
Epilogue- The Five Year Recap
The Spinoff I Will Never Write

Capitalists Deserve To Suffer

42 1 0
By YYeung128

Mom smiled drunkenly at me, her grip almost slipping on the bottle she was holding. "I'm here for the wine."

"And I'm here for the sex. That's right, Ryder." The Evil One smiled evilly. He looked just like the Antichrist-- white but evil. "She's your new stepmom. We have a mutually beneficial relationship."

Ryder and I looked at each other. How did this happen?

Then, the pieces started fitting together. The "I'm sleeping with your mom" note. The way Ryder's stepmom didn't show up at the restaurant. Chapter 5, when they both mentioned business trips.

"But how did you  meet him?" I asked.

"Shut up, Brynn. I never liked you." Mom hissed. "I was going to abort you. The only reason you're alive is because your dad was against abortion."

There was a third person standing next to her. It was Jake. He looked aesthetically beautiful. My heart almost sped up when I looked at him. "I guess you two are related now. That means you and Brynn shouldn't be together."

"You're related to her as well, you precarious nice guy." Ryder said. I gasped at his amazing comeback.

Jake shrugged. "I guess both of us can't have her."

"Shut up, Jake." I said. "I will never choose you."

"Why not though?" Jake whined. "I've been so nice to you this entire story. I cared for you. I supported you. I loved you from afar. You should choose me."

"No." I said.

"Fine." Jake said. "I should have expected this. Nice guys always finish last. But just so you know, when Ryder inevitably breaks your heart, don't come crawling back to me!"

"What did you say, pretty boy?" Ryder snarled. "Don't you dare come onto her. She already chose me."

"Don't listen to him, Brynn." Jake said. "He's lying. Choose me instead. I have loved you longer than he had loved you. I'm a good person, unlike him. That means I deserve to be chosen."

"Guess what? Jake is seventeen. That means he's younger than you." Ryder said.

I gasped. I couldn't believe it. I guess I can't choose Jake now. I, as a girl, could never date someone who was younger than me.

"Age is just a number, Daniels." Jake growled.

"Torture is just an action, pretty boy." Ryder threatened.

"Will you guys stop this middle grade kerfuffle and let me tell my backstory?" The Evil One asked.

Jake immediately quieted. My mom continued drinking her wine.

"No. I'm done with listening to what you said." Ryder said. "I won't take over your company!"

"You will do it, son." The Evil One said. Before Ryder could open his mouth, the Evil One began his backstory. "You see, when I was a poor little boy, I had a dream to become an irresponsible rich man-"

"That's a horrible dream, dad." Ryder shouted.

"Oh really? What's your dream, son?" The Evil One said.

"To get revenge on you and live happily with Brynn." Ryder answered. I swooned. I can't believe I was a part of Ryder's dream. I can't believe I had such a big role in his life.

The Evil One laughed. "You need to find better dreams, son."

"Don't you dare discourage-"

"Please refrain from interrupting my speeches." The Evil One said.

"Yeah, stop interrupting his speeches, lib." Jake smirked. 

Ryder glowered. "Just because I have a thigh kink, it doesn't mean I'm a l-"

"Since I wanted to become an irresponsible rich man-" The Evil One continued, "-I went to college and got a business degree. I worked at an office job every day, waiting for the moment when I earned enough to be rich. But the system sucks. I was never going to be a billionaire if I worked hard and pulled myself up by my own bootstraps (which was impossible to do, by the way.). So, I cheated and manipulated my way to the top. I cut corners. I didn't break any laws, but I bent and twisted them so far, it almost broke. It worked as well as I expected. In a few years, I earned enough to buy a nice house and afford healthcare. But it was still not enough. I worked harder and did everything to get myself up the ladder. The progress seemed too slow for my lifetime until one day.

"I was walking when someone pulled me into a dark alley. It was Les Dot, an old vampire. He asked me to do some illegal things for him. Technically, it's not illegal anymore, since society just keeps getting better and better-"

"What is he talking about?" I asked Ryder.

"Tax evasion, probably." Ryder whispered back.

"After I agreed, he turned me into a vampire, and did other things which I can't remember. He became my future mentor. He taught me how to finesse the system and become rich, and in return, I became his assistant. I was his favorite because I was willing to do anything. When he left, he put me in charge of everything. Finally, I was a rich man. I was so rich, the government came to me when they ran out of money.

"But unfortunately, in the process to become a rich man, I had acquired a lot of trauma. It really stopped me from becoming happy in my life. So, I paid a sketchy looking guy a ton of money to erase all my trauma. He did, and now, I don't even remember what my trauma was about-"

"Physical and sexual assault." Chris said. I looked at him. But when I looked at him, I noticed something weird. The dead bodies around us were gone. Not a single trace remained, except the bloodstains on my bare feet.

"What? I did my research." Chris said, noticing all of us looking at him.

"What happened to the bodies?" Jake asked what we were all thinking.

"I don't know." Chris said, turning to him. 

"Will you two shut up?" The Evil One snapped. Wow, I almost forgot he was here. "Anyway, after that, I became happy. I ran the gang that Les Dot gave me, along with starting a new company for myself. I filled my life with pleasure. I maintained a work-life balance, which you could read all about in my book: "How To Get Rich 101-"

"Nobody cares about your stupid book!" Ryder said.

"Stop interrupting my speech! Anyway, I made a happy life for myself. It was everything I imagined. Anyone who thought that being poor was better than being rich was wrong. But after a near death experience, I realized that I should have someone I trust to take over the company.

"I married someone who I liked, almost to the point of trusting. She was by far my favorite wife. She was my beloved. I always enjoyed her company. She gave me you, Ryder, and your twin sister. Those years were some of the happiest years in my life-"

"If you cared so much, why did you kill my mom and sister?" Ryder asked angrily.

"Oh, that?" The Evil One asked. "I killed them because it was a good business decision."

"You killed them because it was a good business decision?" Ryder shrieked. "Are you even hearing yourself right now? Are you insane?"

"I don't remember much of the event. That was just what I wrote down." The Evil One replied calmly. "My memories of that event were erased by that same guy. He agreed, and for free, too. Probably because the first time it happened, I sued him for taking my money and sent him to jail. Anyway, I wanted you to take over my company, Daniels Enterprises. But you wouldn't. Don't you know that you are ruining my dream?"

"I don't care." Ryder said. "I am not taking over your company."

"You foolish son. Have you ever cared about my dream?" The Evil One hissed.

"Have you cared about my dream?" Ryder asked.

"You have never told me your dreams. You only opposed me."

"Yeah, but you're my dad. You're supposed to automatically know this type of stuff."

The Evil One and Jake shared a glance and rolled their eyes in perfect sync.

"Anyway," The Evil One continued. "I adopted Jake Fromstatefarm from a poor family and turned him into a vampire. Ryder, why can't you be more like him? He's so obedient and kind and agrees to my wishes."

"Yeah, Ryder. Why can't you be more like me?" Jake mocked.

"One day, I'm going to crucify you. On a cross." Ryder growled.

Jake laughed. It chilled me to the bones. "You know, you're pretty vanilla for a bad boy."

Ryder glowered at him.

"Even your girlfriend is more badass than you. She committed mass murder, and she has less personality than the love interest from Anthem."

"It was an accident." I whispered. I could not wipe the image of dead bodies from my mind.

"Of course you read Ayn Rand." Ryder mumbled.

"I could be a much better bad boy than you. I have bad intentions and bad motivations. You, on the other hand. All you've done is help people. You're nothing but a good little boy. That's right, Ryder. I am the bad boy now."

Ryder lunged at him, but before he could, the Evil One blocked his way. "Don't you dare hurt my son." The Evil One said.

"Of course you care more about him than me." Ryder spat. "You have never been a good father."

"Your opinion no longer matter to me." The Evil One said with perfect composure.

"And you have never been a good mother." I said to my mom. "How dare you punch me and hurt me and never take care of me?"

"I was grieving-"

"Shut up. I don't want to hear your excuses." I spat. "You are no longer my mom."

"Good." She said, continuing to drink her wine. "One less burden to worry about."

"You know, parents are supposed to love their kids." Ryder said fiercely.

"And kids are supposed to love their parents." The Evil One replied. "Since you decided not to love me, I decided not to love you. It's not that deep, son."

I went up to the Evil One and slapped him. "How dare you! You have caused so much sadness in Ry's life, and you're not even sorry for it?"

"Ry?" The Evil One raised his eyebrow.

"Sounds like rye bread, doesn't it?" Jake answered.

"I hate rye bread. It's less tasty and more expensive than plain bread." The Evil One said. He and Jake shared a smile.

"Don't you dare say that." I said, interlocking my hand with Ryder's. I was a pacifist, but I really, really want him dead.

"Stop being so rude, dad." Ryder said. "I love Brynn. She's my only real family, the only real home I have. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."

My heart beat intensely at the sound of his confession. It swelled with love and other passionate emotions. My smile could not be bigger.

The Evil One laughed. "I don't care. I wish you two all the unhappiness in the world. Anyway, back to my evil plan."

"Actually, while you were talking, we foiled your plan." Ryder smirked. "All of your vampires are now dead, except the KKK, which became their own gang. You have no one to support you or profit off of now, you capitalist pig."

"No!" The Evil One screamed. "My plan! Anyway, Jake, do me a favor and kill them off."

"With pleasure." Jake said, but there was pain in his brown orbs. He held out a knife and stalked towards us.

"Should I kill them all?" I whispered to Ryder. I closed my orbs and prepared for the pain.

"No." Ryder said. I looked at him with surprise. I thought for sure he would agree. It occurred to me that I didn't know him that well. But it's been two weeks! I should know everything about him by now.

"Evil people don't deserve to die." Ryder continued. "They deserve to suffer."

We looked at each other with mutual understanding. I know exactly what to do.

~~~~

I looked at the four hairs I've lost. Was it painful? Yes. Would I go through the pain again, for the same results I've gotten? Every time.

"This is not fair!" The Evil One said. "You can't make me work at a minimum wage job forever! I made the jobs specifically so that poor people would be too disheartened and too desperate to live to care about being exploited!"

That was my first wish.

"Now you know how it feels like." Ryder smirked. "How do you like a taste of your own medicine?"

"And you can't make me allergic to alcoholic drinks!" My mom shouted, who was also going to work at a minimum wage job. "This is worse than cutting me off completely. My body can't adjust that quickly. I'm going to die!"

That was my second wish.

"You're a vampire." I reminded her. "You're practically immortal."

"Jake. I make you the leader of the Vhampyrs." The Evil One said desperately. "Now help me get out of this situation!"

Jake sighed. "No. The blood of the covenant may be thick, but my desire to betray you is thicker."

"How could you do this to me? I raised you!" The Evil One said with some emotion in his voice.

"I have been against you for a while now. I am the leader of Vampires Against Cruelty, also known as the gays. I want to undo all the harm you caused the vampire community." Jake said.

Jake looked at the Evil One's pathetic face for a few seconds and hesitated. "One house. One bed, one bath. Four hundred square feet. That's all I'm going to offer you. If you bargain for more, you would get nothing."

"I really raised you well." The Evil One smiled, shaking his head. "Maybe a bit too-"

He stopped talking and started hyperventilating. I smiled. I had given his traumatic memories back. That was my third wish. It brings me satisfaction to see his trauma kick in.

The Evil One screamed and made some painful noises and backed away from the manager of the fast food restaurant.

"Hello, Xavier." The manager smiled. "You didn't forget your old mentor, did you?"

Ryder looked at the Evil One, who was having a more intense panic attack, then looked at me.

"I love you so much." He said. I cherished the sound and the meaning of his words.

"I love you too." I said. It was a luxury to say this casually.

"Brynn, will you go to the dance with me?" Ryder suddenly blurted out. He blushed. "I mean, I was going to ask but then, I got sidetracked-"

"Yes." I said, pulling him into a kiss. We stayed like this as long as we can. I could never get used to the sensation of his lips on mine.

Eventually, he pulled away. "Shall we?" He asked, holding out his hand. I grabbed it. His hand felt like home.

Before I could say anything, a gun sounded. Then, everything went black.

A/N: Sorry for not updating for so long! I had tons of homework and high school was super stressful. Final exams, amirite? I'm probably not going to update for approximately three years. Don't forget to vote, comment, share, like, subscribe, and turn on the notifications!

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