THERE'S A BRIEF MOMENT before the human body shuts down where everything still breathes in anticipation, where the neurons wait for the stimuli to be carried through and the ventricles are empty, only to never be filled with blood again. That, more than rigor mortis, more than decay, that always had stayed with Helene when she experienced death, no matter how many times. The act of a body waiting an eternity for everything to continue, even when it's soul had left. It was a haunting feeling, one which reminded her of herself every minute of every day, because she too, was always hoping for moments which would never come.
What was she hoping for now?
"Something's bothering you."
She looked up at Nathan, before glancing back at her food, still untouched. He was sitting on the other side of the dinner table, the room too big for two people. It made the space between them feel even larger than she could take, because the moment he had let her go everything had become hazy again. When he had told her he had something to show her, she had expected a corpse to be honest, but all he had done was give her a crimson dress to change into, before bringing her back downstairs to eat. Her thoughts were heavy in her mind again, one after the other predicting the possible outcomes of this all, none of them rose-colored. She had grown as weary of her overthinking as she had of herself.
"What makes you think so?" she said, starting to cut into the steak on her plate.
"You're quieter," he said," tell me, what's weighing on your mind?"
"Your love," she smiled warmly," I'm afraid that this is all a delusion which will disappear when I blink."
He mirrored her expression, but before he could pry any further, she lifted a piece of meat in the air with her fork, smile unwavering.
"Is this human meat?" she said.
His smile widened at once as he leaned forward, the light from the chandelier above catching in his eyes.
"It could be," he said," why? Does it matter to you if it's human or are you just worried who it is?"
In response she swallowed it, smiling as she waved her fork at him. "Neither, though I doubt you would feed me my boss. He does not seem like he'd taste well."
"That man should count himself lucky he even got to be near you," Nathan chuckled," do you really think I'd let you eat something as unrefined as him?"
"I wonder if he thinks himself lucky as well," Helene mused," I mean, he's dead now, after all. Is that on me? For picking the wrong choice when you asked me to distinguish what was real?"
His expression was amused as she continued, voice so warm that it almost seemed like she was whispering him sweet nothings instead of discussing murder.
"It's fine," she said," I suppose his blood stains both of our hands now. In a way, that's as romantic as it comes, right? I've never had a man willing to kill for me before."
"I thought it romantic as well," he said, resting his chin on his hand," our first murder, my love, isn't that something worth celebrating?"
As soon as he spoke he noticed the slip up, his laugh resounding through the empty house as he leaned back, hand in front of his eyes.
"Oh my," he said," you got me there." He removed his hand so he could look back at her, shaking his head. "As always, you're so sharp, Helene, even after days with no human contact. You made my heart skip a beat, you know."
The tension in her body had begun to lighten now one of her suspicions was confirmed. If she thought logically, everything she had seen in that room must have been a delusion, but that moment with Nathan — It had to have been real. If it hadn't, she couldn't even trust if she was truly seeing him in this room right now. Out of all the things she had wanted to ask, that had been her primary concern. Now he had admitted to having been there, she couldn't help but be relieved that she could trust herself more, even if it was still not enough.
"How did you know?" he said," I'm pretty sure you completely lost your mind after that."
"I did," she said, gaze flicking for a moment to the shadows behind Nathan, still screaming out to her with faces which resembled hers," I think I'm still searching for it, somewhere. You promised me one life however, one and one only. When you asked me to determine whether it was real, that's what I should've answered. He was going to die either way, unless I had changed my answer from Dante to him."
"Still," Nathan said," if it was in your head, your mind could've tricked you by picking the same choices as well."
"That's true," she said," but if it had been my illusion, you would've shot me straight through my head."
His expression was unreadable as he raised his wineglass to his lips. "Is that what you think? That I'm going to kill you sooner or later?"
"I don't think you're the biggest threat to my life," she said," I think I am."
The glass fell to the floor then, breaking so loudly she flinched, the red wine staining the carpet.
"You can't," he said sharply.
The rare display of emotion made her unable to hide her surprise for a moment, but she quickly replaced that with a smile as she started cutting her meat again, voice light.
"I wouldn't," she said," if I wanted to, I would've done it in that room."
He was back to his charming self again when he replied.
"That's why you'll have to stay by my side," he said," if not for me, who else will protect you from yourself?"
Absentmindedly he picked up the largest shard of glass from the floor, holding it up in the light for a moment as it dug in his skin.
"It's a shame," he said," I quite liked the glass."
Without paying it any other mind he dropped it back on the floor, raising from his chair then. She immediately placed down her cutlery, following him without any questions. He didn't need to tell her that she had to stay by his side, she wasn't about to leave on her own anyway. Knowing Nathan, there was no way this house was anywhere close enough to others that people could hear her scream. He wouldn't be stupid enough to make a mistake like that, with how hellbent he was on keeping her. Running away without a plan wasn't an option, because they both know she wouldn't come far before she was caught.
Still, it wasn't that thought which held her back the most. The one that did was the large part of her which didn't believe in her own sight anymore. What if she started running circles in her own imagination as soon as she tried to escape? If he abandoned her as well after that, she'd completely lose it. She couldn't bear to be alone again, so it was fine if her company could possibly kill her. Anything was better than apathy.
He was walking steadily but slowly, Helene anxiously glancing up at him as they walked down the stairs to the basement. What was he going to show her? This wasn't a cruel joke where he ended up locking her in a different place this time, right? No, that would defeat the whole purpose. Then what?
"You're annoyed," she said.
"What?" he said, taken aback for a brief moment as he looked at her.
These past days all she had had to think of was him and every interaction they had had, the images of his face flicking in front of her eyes time and time again. She always could read people well, but with all her focus on him now she finally saw it even clearer. His jaw had tensed ever so slightly, eyebrows furling together for a fraction of a second.
"Where are you taking me?" she said," if it's a surprise that gets you irritated, it can't mean much good."
"I'm irritated?" he said, hand grazing past his forehead, as if to check if his expression was still in place.
He paused for a moment, stopping in place at the last step, which lead to a closed door. With a curious gaze he glanced at her, before smiling widely then.
"I suppose it is because I'm jealous," he said," I didn't quite realize it, it seems. Still, it will be alright. After we've done this, I don't think I'll have much anger left."
"Jealous?" she asked," of whom?"
He gently cupped her face in between his hands, the blood from his wound warm on her skin.
"When I decided to make you mine," he said," I couldn't let anyone who had hurt or touched you be. That's only natural, isn't it, considering that I'm the only one you should be thinking of now."
Dante? No, he hadn't hurt her. Then who?
"Especially when I heard everything he did," Nathan said, somehow terrifying despite his warm expression," you should've seen my face then, I was ready to kill him on the spot. I couldn't though. He doesn't deserve a death that easy."
She already knew who it was when he opened the door, but still couldn't help but stare in shock. The basement was completely empty, save for a steel table in the middle, where a man was strapped to. His eyes were wide in fear, snapping towards them, bruises and blood covering his body. On his right was a table with surgical equipment on it, Nathan chuckling as he took a scalpel.
"I told you, didn't I?" he said," it would be fun to dissect someone together. Who else would I choose except for the man who thought he was allowed to do it to you?"
She stopped next to Nathan, locking eyes with the man then.
"Helene," Zion sobbed," please help."
From now on, there was no way back.