It’s been a long week, a really long tiring as shit week but also my best week in a very very very long time. I don't know why I love my new workplace so much, but I just know that I do. And the people are actually half decent and being half decent in my dictionary is a lot because humans by default are shit. London compared to Boston is like Pepperoni Pizza compared to Hawaiian Pizza. Compare it.
It's the end of the week now, meaning weekend. As much I like my job, I prefer the times I don't have to do that job.
I haven’t seen Daisy or the guys much this week. But that’s about to change as I arrive home and meet them. They seem to be planning to go out judging from their outfit.
Daisy and friends party a lot. This is the second time since I've arrived that they have attended some party. It has also come to my attention that Jeremy is a frat president. Not to be the judgmental person but of all persons in the school, he's the one given the title to oversee a fraternity club. And if he heads a frat house, why does he stay here all the time?
“Hey guys”, I say closing the door. They all turn.
Daisy smiles, “there’s my honey bum sugar plum”
I smile at her feeling warm at the sudden words of endearment. Are those even words of endearment or am I just affection starved?
Instinctively, I turn to see him staring at me causing me to look away immediately.
“We’re going to a party and you are coming with us”
No, nope.
“Sorry, but I’ll have to sit this one out”
I don’t necessarily hate parties but I don’t like it either. It's just not my type of scene. And besides, nothing wonderful comes out of it when I'm involved.
“Yes, mate yes you are. And you’re about to get laid by some insanely hot person”
I roll my eyes. Youths of these days and sex. Sometimes I sound like a booger and a bigot or a redneck, which is quite ironic because I wasn’t even religious or even affiliated with any organized community.
“Whatever, still no, have fun”
Daisy and Cam turn to face other smiling creepily before nodding at each other and turning to face me.
Uh no.
So here I am, seated in the back seat of Jeremy’s stupid car going to a party against my will. Cam and Daisy basically dragged me on gunpoint to get changed. I could have resisted more but decided not to because a small part of me wanted to go. I'm still upset though. I don't like when I'm forced to do things. Thinking of all the gross hormonal college kids I'm about to encounter, the scowl on my face all but deepens.
I catch Jeremy's eyes in the mirror and he's giving me a full on hate glare. Ok, what is up with this man? What did I ever do to him? And can he focus on the road before he crashes us? Another thing that's bothering me is that Lucas has been staring at me all night. And although it's not hateful, it's utterly annoying. What is up with everyone in Daisy's live? I'm not sure I can stand living with her for months.
“What are you thinking about bestie?” Daisy asks from my right drawing me out of my thoughts. Cam sat on my left typing and smiling at her phone. I could already guess who she was texting with without her saying a thing.
“Nothing”
Lie.
“Oh, dude everyone is going to be all over you tonight. And when they discover that you’re 21 years old with multiple degrees, they will be practically worshipping at your feet. For real, I’m going to introduce you to everyone”, Daisy says with so much enthusiasm for a moment I think she is talking about meeting her favorite celebrity or something. And I highly doubt anyone would be impressed enough to worship at my feet because I'm in my baby twenties and a PhD holder.
I know Daisy means well, but hearing her say that makes me want to run the other way. I really don’t want this. I still manage to smile at her though because smiling is easy. It doesn't even matter if it's real or not, it's still easy. I just have to move some muscles.
Before I know it, we arrive at the venue and the party is already in full swing. It’s a typical college party.
Alcohol.
Girls.
Boys.
People.
Kissing.
Alcohol.
Grinding.
Alcohol.
Bad decisions.
Alcohol.
Kissing.
Alcohol.
Groping.
Public display sexing.
Fucking alcohol
I don't understand why people love parties so much. Some will say it's an escape route but it's not a very ideal escape route, beloved. I sound like such a loser sometimes.
Daisy meant it when she said she was going to introduce me to everyone and she did. It was the most nauseating thing I have ever had to go through. Maybe I’m exaggerating a bit but I hate people especially those that smell like outdated perfume and won’t stop hitting on me. Fucking losers. And then it was over.
Currently I'm seated by a sofa in the kitchen. Yes a sofa in the kitchen but it's quiet in here and Cam is seated near me. Daisy has disappeared somewhere long ago. Cam doesn't seem interested in whatever is going on around her and instead is engrossed in typing on her phone. I should probably like make efforts to talk to her but what can I say? I don't want to appear rude and I've been told I'm rude. Whoever owns this house is freaking rich and would need to do some major cleaning after. People are gross.
Am I having fun? Absolutely not. I want to leave but I can’t find any of the guys except Cam around including our driver Jeremy who promised he would stay sober but all men do is lie. Daisy had been drunk when we last saw each other. I wonder how wasted she is now. Jeremy was also shoving his tongue into some girl and two others were around him dancing trying to catch his attention. I’m not even going to comment on that. Fraternity president thing, I guess. Those ladies could do better. And Lucas, I haven't seen him since we arrived here but speak of the devil and he shall appear. The door to the kitchen opens and Lucas steps in with a guy in tow. He doesn't notice us and I hope he doesn't. I continue to discreetly stare at him for some reason. I can just order an Uber and get out of here. I anxiously await the day my car arrives from Boston.
One moment, Lucas and the guy are just talking and the next second, Lucas is bending his head a little and kissing him. The sight before me had me so shocked that the air is knocked out of my lungs.
What the fuck?
Lucas is a homosexual.
"Yep, so am I. Actually, Lucas is bisexual", I hear Cam say from beside him.
I turn to face her. Did I say that out loud? Oh well.
With every will power, I avoid looking at them because why should I?
I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. If Matt, the straightest looking person I have ever seen can be gay, then Lucas who has multiple piercings and uses nail polish can be gay or bisexual. It seems everywhere I go, the pride follows me.
A guy comes and sits between me and Cam. It happened so suddenly that I couldn't even move away. What the fuck?
"Fuck off, Zac", Cam says.
Truly, fuck off Zac.
"Calm your tits, baby. I'm not here for you. Hi, I'm Zac"
I don't have to turn to face him to know that he's talking to me. I can feel his gaze drilling holes to the side of my head.
A lot of men have been hitting on me tonight. Is everyone gay these days? I realize he's moved even closer if that's possible. I discreetly move away. Fuck this man and his alcohol stinking breath.
I ignore him which has become a gift at this point.
“Okay so, playing hard to get. Got it", he laughed afterwards. What's funny? And what nonsense is he spawning?
"Leave him alone, Zac. He's straight"
"Please, no one is straight"
See. See what I mean.
"Well Victor is. Seriously, fuck off"
"Ignore Camden, she doesn't know what's she saying. I say we ditch this party and get to know each other, yeah?"
I'm close to committing murder. So close.
"It's Cameroon, ass shit," Cam says in anger. I'm glad I'm not the only one who is disgusted by this man.
“As she said, I'm straight. No, thanks. I'll be right back Cam, I need to get some air" I say immediately stand up and walk away without waiting for a reply. I hate people.
I walk and I keep walking trying to find somewhere that's not so suffocating. And that somewhere is outside, obviously.
The moment I'm outdoors and fresh air hit my face, I feel my sanity coming back into place. Rationally I know everyone is not gay but since two of Daisy's friends are queer, sure, they'll want to hang out with members of their community.
Speaking of one of the queer friends, my catches a silhouette at a distance smoking a blunt and I can easily tell it is Lucas. I don't know how I know and I'm not ready to think about how I know. Rationally, I should walk away and leave him be because I really don't like him and I mean it. But my rational side falls silent as I saunter towards him. He doesn't notice me at first and maybe he does and he doesn't just care.
I take a seat close to where he sits. For someone that didn’t take a sip of alcohol all night, I’m behaving awfully like a drunken person.
I want to reprimand the fact he's smoking but I am not his mother and he's an adult. If he gets cancer and dies, that's on him.
Fuck it, I still have to say something.
“Where’s your boyfriend? I don’t see him anywhere”
Now that I ask, I wonder why I did. I couldn’t care less about his whereabouts. Why am I still here?
“He’s not my boyfriend”, he plainly says. Okay.
“Those things are going to kill you”, I finally say what I initially wanted to say because I can’t help myself.
“It’s weed, barely harmful”
False.
“It’s still is”
“That’s the whole point”.
He’s whispering now. If we aren’t in the quieter side of the house, I probably wouldn’t have heard him. I think this is the moment I read the room because his tone is showing he doesn’t want to talk to me. And what the hell does he mean by that being the whole point.
“What?”
“I have no intention living past the age of 30”
Now I was confused and very freaked out. Who’s this person?
He turns to face me and with the straightest face, he says, “It’s all banter, mate”
Now I was pissed. Who the hell did this man did he think he was?
“Cut it out. It’s getting old”
He continues to stare at me for a few seconds. He drops the blunt and stomps it with his boots. He suddenly stands and walks towards me. For some reason that I’m not going to think about and question, my heart does a little flip. Once he was close enough, he bends so his face is a few inches away from mine. I think this moment counts as sexual assault.
“You’re making me very uncomfortable”, I can only whisper. “And you have been staring at me since I arrived and frankly that’s disrespectful So whatever you have to say, say it or get out of my face”, I add saying in one breathe that when I’m done, I’m out of breathe but try to hide it which means I’m barely breathing.
“I have not been staring at you”
Oh, now he wants to lie.
“Fuck you, you have”
“I have barely spent time at Daisy’s since you arrived and while I was there, I promise mate I didn’t use it staring at your royal highness.”
I can’t reply. I can’t say a word. I’m speechless.
“And while we are on the topic of Daisy, she agreed to room you from the goodness of her heart. At the end of the day, you’re still a stranger and any funny business from you, you’ll have to answer to me. Is that clear?”
He steps back before I can even get a word in. I didn’t realize just how out of breathe I am until he did.
“And if you think I’ve been staring at you all week, that’s your problem. See you around, buddy," he turns to go but turns to look at me again, "and ah, let's burn, Victor, it's fun."
Then, he is gone before I can blink.
What the fuck just happened?