"His head is out!" Dr. Johnson said excitedly after my 5th push. With Nevaeh by the time I made it to the fifth, that was to push the rest of her out. This boy was stubborn! The nurses started prepping more things for the baby's arrival, when I glanced up at Maurice who had a big grin on his face, with tears building in his eyes. He let go of my hand to walk over to one of the nurses, who had his cellphone in her hands recording.
He whispered something to her, she said something back to him to which he nodded. He stopped to look at what was going on down there, a smile spreading across his face. His dimples deepening at the sight of our son. Then he came back by my side & grabbed a hold of my hand again. He kissed it as I prepared to start pushing. Reminiscent of the day Nevaeh was born, he kissed my damp forehead and told me how good I was doing.
"He's almost here, Babe! He's got a head full of hair just like his sister" he exclaimed in pure elation, showering my face with what felt like 1,000 kisses. I steadied my feet & on the doctor's command, I started pushing again. I don't know why counting to ten seemed so slow while you're pushing, but it felt like it was taking forever for him to make his debut. The pressure I felt to push in the beginning was starting to subside & not one wanting to miss a thing, Maurice walked down and held onto my knee as he watched our son come into this world. As I pushed he held his mouth open in shock as the doctor announced that he was out.
They suctioned his mouth, nose and a few seconds after he put those little lungs to good use. He was crying so loud & strong I got emotional. Just in awe that this was even happening again. I had that feeling the entire pregnancy, just pure disbelief but a lot of happiness as well. I was just so grateful that I was blessed to bring another Angel into this world. I didn't hold back my tears & neither did Maurice. He wiped his eyes with his t-shirt so that he could see properly to cut the umbilical cord, before the nurses whisked the baby away to weigh & clean him up a little more.
"Seven pounds, thirteen ounces!" Dr. Johnson announced as he looked at the scale & then the baby, watching the nurse put a hat on him & swaddle him before handing him over to Maurice. He showed his dimples once again as he cradled him, walking over to me in the bed. He sat down next to me, maneuvering our baby towards me.
"I won the battle with this one. I'm talking baby pictures personified" he gloated as he handed him to me. I held him like he was fragile, tracing his almost invisible eyesbrows with my finger & just taking in his appearance. He squirmed at my touch & kept turning his little head towards me & opening his mouth, letting me know that he was hungry. I whipped my boob out, which didn't take much since I had my hospital gown untied in the back. I prayed a silent prayer that he would latch correctly. I didn't want bleeding nipples again like I did with Nevaeh, plus that shit was painful. Thankfully that wasn't the case this go-round.
"Looks familiar huh?" Maurice asked as he nodded down to the baby feeding. I looked up at him, confusion evident in the way my face twisted.
"Of who? Vaeh?"
"Nah, me" he winked with a laugh. I sat up slightly to push his giggling ass away from me, while lightly laughing my damn self. I rolled my eyes as I adjusted in the bed.
"Sooo, you guys have a name?" Dr. Johnson asked and I almost forgot he was even in here still. I chuckled as my attention went to Maurice who was already looking at me.
"Halo Elijah" we said in unison. We came up with the name not long after finding out his gender. Halo because he was our Angel baby. Our rainbow after the storm & Elijah because it meant 'The Lord is my God', and it was nothing but God for him even being here, so it just fit. Dr. Johnson smiled as he wrote something down on his clipboard before placing the pen in his white coat pocket.
"Nevaeh Grace & Halo Elijah. Keeping it biblical I see, I love it - I'll leave you two alone for a spell to bond but I'll be back to check on him. We'll do the hearing test in the morning when Veronica gets in. In the meantime enjoy your boy...Peace out" he chuckled as he headed for the door. We sat in silence as I continued to feed Halo, Maurice just watching and swooning at the sight. He checked his watch for the time, then pulled his phone out. I seen him scrolling before he put the phone to his ear & waited.
"S'up Erica" he said after a brief wait. "I know it's late but I was calling to tell you your nephew is here...Yeah, she did so good. Fighting sleep as we speak" he chuckled as he looked over at me, seriously losing the battle with the sandman. "So far so good. He's going to sleep too...Yeah y'all can all come in the morning, I called everyone earlier but no one picked up....Bet, I'll see y'all later...Love you too...Bye" he said as he hung up and put his phone back into his pocket. He stood up & took the baby outta my arms.
"Go on to sleep Babe, I got him" he said before he placed a sweet kiss to my forehead. I was thankful for him & that despite the fact that our son had a mix of both of our big ass heads, I didn't need stitches. So this sleep I was about to partake in was about to be some of the best I've had in months! I lowered the bed flat & laid down on my stomach as gently as possible. He laughed at the little shimmy I did before I got comfortable. I seen him sit down on the the lil' bed area he would be sleeping on for the next few days, holding our son on his lap.
That was the last thing I saw before everything faded to black from me closing my eyes & drifting off to sleep. I was awaken by a nurse that came back to check on me & the baby. I looked over at the clock and saw that I legit was fucking some sleep up. It was a little before midnight when I went to sleep & now it was close to 8AM. I glanced around the room confused before it finally registered in my brain where I still was. I seen Maurice off to the side, his nose was red like he had been crying & was trying to hide it from me once he seen me looking at him. He patted Halo's back, who he held close to his chest. The baby was whimpering & kinda fighting his sleep but that wasn't what seemed to be bothering Maurice.
"What's wrong boo?" I innocently quizzed in almost a panic noticing his behavior. I sat up quickly & swung my legs over to the side of the bed, ready to get up. Dr. Johnson came over seemingly out of thin fuckin' air to me with a look on his face that I couldn't read. So between that & Maurice I was shook.
"Ok, y'all are making my nerves fucking bad...What the hell is wrong?!" I asked again raising my voice as my irritation grew quickly. My eyes darted back and forth between the both of them just waiting for some kind of response.
"We did the NHS while you were sleeping, Maurice wanted you to rest" he paused & I could feel my stomach sinking quickly. So much so that I was starting to physically feel ill at the impending news..."Denise, Halo failed his screening. Now it's still early so it could very well be fluid on his eardrums...or..." he responded as he gripped his clipboard. I felt like all of the air left my lungs & I felt faint, so I stayed seated to try to regain my composure.
"Doc, are you saying my baby is deaf? Like...You're telling me my son can't hear?! Won't hear?!?!" I stood abruptly & damn near ran over to Maurice. He didn't resist & handed our son over to me. Sensing that I needed to be close to him to process the news. I cradled my precious boy & wondered why? After all the losses and all that it fucking took to finally get to this point. Why Lord? I looked up from my baby searching Dr. Johnson's face for something...Anything but he still was un-readable.
"I can't answer that truthfully right now, Denise. There were a few spikes during his screening but not enough to pass...I know this news isn't what you both wanted to hear but at this moment they are what they are...We have to act diligently for Halo's benefit, that way if it's something other-"
"Other?! Other like what, like he'll never hear...W-what?!?" I cut him off as my nerves got the best of me, taking over my entire being. Maurice pulled me close to him & held me tightly, which is what I needed because I felt a calm come over me just from that gesture alone. Dr. Johnson clasped his hands together & looked over at Maurice before he spoke again.
"You can do the rescreening within a month of his birth, I advise you to do it as soon as possible though. Early intervention can go a long way..." his attention was now back on me again. "This doesn't mean he's deaf, further examination, screenings & test will put this all to bed...Try not to worry too much you guys, because again it could all be nothing but a little fluid...You guys take care" he finished then he was out of the door. Leaving us to sit in the darkness of something happening to our miracle.
I slowly walked back to the bed & sat down. Cradling Halo in my arms, I wiped the tears from my eyes so they wouldn't fall on him. I leaned down & kissed his rosy cheek & tried my best to think positively. He looked so much like his dad though, that it tripped me out. Vaeh was all me with a hint of her dad, but Halo was all dad & if you squinted really hard you could see me. The little grin he did in his sleep looked a lot like mine though, so I'll take that. It made me crack a small smile as I watched him sleep, unaware of the turmoil I had going on in my head. His father's attention was out the window, looking at the cars pass by on the busy street in front of the hospital. He glanced down at his phone & was typing away before he sat it back down to continue to look beyond our reach.
"Pray Niecy" he said lowly as he sat back in the reclining chair. "That's all I've been doing since I got the news...Besides, we gotta perk up anyway. Our baby girl & folks are on their way up now to see him" he stood on his feet & walked over to me. He caressed Halo's head & looked over at me looking up at the ceiling trying to keep my tears from falling.
"God gives his toughest battles to his strongest fighters and he never gives anyone more than they can bare, right? his eyes were glued to me waiting for me to respond & when I didn't he repeated "Right?" while raising his brow.
"Right" I replied with lack of eye contact as it hurt to even look at him, feeling like what was going on with our baby was somehow my fault. Maybe I did too much towards the end. Or maybe it was my twisted karma of some sort. The sins of the mother coming back on the child.
"Halo's a fighter, just like us & he WILL hear in Jesus name. I have faith, Niecy. The same faith I had that we would have another child & that faith is never wavering. We gon' and he gon' be alright. Believe that" he gently grabbed my chin so our eyes could meet & he used his thumb to wipe them before giving me a tender kiss on the lips.
"Ewww. I would tell y'all to get a room but you're already in it" Erica joked as she entered. She held Nevaeh on her hip who looked entirely too big to be carried by Erica on her 5 ft even frame. Vaeh immediately jumped down to run over to us, well her dad. She leaped into his arms as he crouched down for her & picked her up, giving her a big hug & 1,000 kisses.
"Hey Erica" I said softly so I wouldn't wake the baby & she waved at me as she walked over to get a better look at him.
"Him so handsome" she cooed. "Girl, you don't even look like that labor kicked your ass. Maurice told me" she smiled as she nodded her head in his direction, but his focus was on our big baby that he tickled in his hold.
"Good, because after that I'm definitely closing up shop. His little stubborn self made sure he left his mark" I laughed as I watched Vaeh kick off her Crocs so she could get in the bed with me. She cuddled up to me & looked down at her new baby brother. Maurice again never wanting to miss a thing had his phone out recording their first interaction, granted Halo was sleeping. After rubbing the sanitizer into her hands, thanks to her Father that had it out and ready for our slew of guest. She grabbed Halo's tiny hand & held it in hers, rubbing her thumb across all his little fingers similar to how her Father did her as a newborn. She leaned a little closer to him as he squirmed around trying to get comfortable.
"Hi Halo" she spoke softly to him, her little sweet voice melting my heart like it always did. I made a pouty face at all of the cutest before me. She continued "I'm your big sister Nevaeh, nice to meet you outside of Mommy's stomach. I love you" she placed a gentle kiss to his cheek & smiled at her dad & then me while Erica cooed in the background. "He's so little Mommy. Like a baby doll."
"He is...Do you wanna hold him?" I asked as I adjusted again in the bed, turning so that it would be easier to place him in her arms. Instead of vocally saying anything she nodded her head yes & waited. "Ok, remember how Mommy & Daddy taught you ok, hold your arm like this" I showed her with my own, watching her mimick the action. I gently placed his head in her raised arm & then helped her hold his bottom with her other hand.
"Let Daddy get a picture...Say cheese Princess" he said as he steadied his phone to get the memory. I turned and saw the rest of our village coming in one by one so no one was crowding the door. My mom, Earl, Mama Sheryl, Tiffany, Jay & even Senior. Noticeably absent were Samatha & Matthew.
Everyone greeted me & hugged me then Maurice, all waiting their turn to hold Halo. I seen Maurice & Tiffany hug & trying to eavesdrop without it being obvious. From what I could make out over the chatter of everyone else is that Matthew didn't pick up the phone for Tiffany or Erica either. Not even Samatha picked up her phone. I seen Maurice's face ball up in confusion as he folded his arms and continued to listen. The first part of his response I couldn't make out but the end was something like, "he knows his grandson is here though right...?"
"I know you got Mommy brain or whatever but I know like hell you can hear me with how close I am to you" my mother said to me pulling my attention to her as my eyes left Maurice and focused on hers.
"Huh?" I honestly replied because I didn't hear a word she or anyone else said. I had straight tunnel vision trying to be nosey. Earl shook his head as his deep giggle rumbled in his chest.
"If that's the case, she's had Mommy brain since she was a teenager...It's called selective hearing Sharon" Earl said & I rolled my eyes with a smile on my face. I seen Senior cut his eyes at us before he continued talking to Erica.
"Lord, since you clearly didn't hear me, I asked if everything checked out with the baby? Like everything is good? Same stuff I asked when Vaeh was born" her eyes began to scan my face as soon as the last word left her lips & I found myself getting emotional just thinking back to what the Doctor said. I tried my best to suck it up but that shit just involuntary came outta me.
"No..." I tried wiping the tears that just started cascading down my face as best as I could so that everyone's attention wouldn't be on me & everyone could just continue to focus on Halo, but that shit went out the window just as quickly as the thought alone.
"What do you mean no? Is there something wrong with my baby?" she asked in a panic and the room got painfully quiet, the attention I didn't want was now on me.
"They uh...He...They said he didn't pass his hearing screening. Everything else is fine but that" I croaked, once again trying to keep the little composer I had left. "I just need everybody to send one up for Yung Halo" I tried to perk up but was failing miserably. No one was buying my fake optimistic bullshit. Maurice came over and gently pulled my head to his stomach as his hand rubbed my back.
After a few more hours of visiting, everyone started to leave. Our mother's gave us pep talks & more words of encouragement since the entire village had already did that before they left. Leaving just our little party of 4, Maurice sat off to the side in the chair doing his turn of skin to skin after I had did mine. Vaeh was nestled under me knocked out. I was scrolling through Instagram when Maurice saying my name grabbed my attention.
"Something ain't right with Matthew" he started, putting the baby on his shoulder & patting his back.
"His cancers getting worse?" I asked as I yawned and he shook his head.
"Nah, they think he might be going into remission thanks to me...Tiff was telling me that him & Mama Sam have been acting different lately...Like they're up to something. She said she's never really ever had arguments with them like that until recent months..."
"Arguments about what?" I turned in the bed to give him my undivided attention as he spoke, propping my fist under my chin.
"The past...She says Mama Sam isn't over him cheating on her & him relocating their entire family down here...She can't stand the fact that he's flaunting his infidelity in her face & feels enraged every single time I've come over...She told my sisters to drop communication with me & she stopped taking their calls when they told her they weren't doing that...They went by the house and even though Matthew's car was parked outside they didn't open the door for 'em....Ion know. I'm starting to think you were right Babe...I really think this nigga might've used me to get healthy & dip...This elaborate plan to coerce me into giving him what he needed...That bringing his wife & kids down here was just a ploy to make his shit believable...They didn't anticipate their daughter's actually developing a bond with me and it's making cutting ties even harder..." he paused as he sighed but I kept my ears perked just taking in what he was thinking.
"That what's been on your mind this whole time?"
"That and Halo" he replied as he kissed the top of our sons head. "I hope that's not the case but he has been acting different since his health started to improve...I really hope that ain't the case but shit...Ion know...I just feel played" he looked over at me in the moonlit room, the city sparkling lights being his backdrop as he sat up to put a black tank top on.
"Look, I'm down to jump them if that's what's up...I don't like some of the slick shit Samatha would say on the cool anyway. I let her ass make it on the strength that I was pregnant and cool with Tiffany & Erica. If not for that, I would've been dragged that bitch" I said with a smile to calm him down and it worked.
"Chill out Niecy Creed. You're not fighting nobody you just had our son...Our main focus should be on him right now. Fuck all that other shit."
"Fine...But once he's in the clear & if shit is what you say. I'm doing straight body blows" I laughed as I got comfortable in the bed facing him.
"What the hell am I gonna do with you man? You're crazy" he laughed as he shook his head, patting Halo's back as he tried to wake up from his laughter.
"I would say what but we gotta wait six weeks, so I'll be quiet" I shrugged licking my lips seductively.
"Stop before you be right back in this motha fucka in 9 months...Fuck waiting" he sort of threaten in that tone of his that always had me tooted up on the bed. We laughed and the room got quiet as we both drifted off to sleep.