The rest of our day is uneventful, both of us not having any energy left inside of us. Jace's hangover only seems to be getting worse and for some reason my stomach started to hurt the minute we get home. I don't bother Jace with it though, I'm letting him sleep off his hangover.
"Mila? Come on, join me in bed" Jace growls with his headache, when I start to clean our apartment with nothing to do.
"I'm not tired" I say. I'm not trying to be sour, but I feel like doing something to get my mind off of yesterday.
"Then just watch a show. Please?" he asks with begging eyes, and I can't resist. I take off my pants and crawl under the covers with him. "Hey. Let me make it up to you and take you on that trip to New York before the new school year starts?"
Right. I almost forgot about his birthday present to me. I don't know how I'll be able to get on a plane with my panic disorder at the moment, but I try not to think about it. Hello? Who wouldn't want to go to New York?
"Okay" I whisper, and place my head on his chest. "We'll look for flights when you're feeling better" I add, when I see his eyes closing already. Seconds later, his breaths get deeper and I know he has fallen asleep. I do as planned and watch some show on Netflix to pass some time. Sadly, my stomach cramps only get worse and worse until I can't take them anymore.
Slowly standing up from bed, careful not to wake Jace, I decide to go look for a heat pad. I'm not sure Jace has one. Sadly, no success. I decide to go for a hot bath instead, maybe that will ease some of the pain. I walk into the bathroom and start letting water into the tub. When I undress, I notice where the stomach pain is coming from. Blood. Of course, I started my period.
I stop the water right away, knowing that I have to call the gynaecologist. The IUD has to be inserted on the first day of my period. What a timing. I get dressed in a fresh pair of underwear, put my clothes back on and leave the bathroom to get my phone. I dial the doctor's number right away and explain the situation. They tell me that I can come right away. I'm nervous but relieved at the same time, ready to get it over with.
I should start thinking about getting a car, even though I hate to drive. I can't always ask Jace, but yet here I am. "Jace?" I say, shaking him lightly to wake him.
He still looks like he's in pain when he opens his eyes. "Yeah?"
"Can I borrow your car?"
"Where are you going?" he asks, and I stop for a few minutes. He already knows I wanted to get the IUD, so I might as well tell him.
"I started my period, I'm going to the gynaecologist" I answer, my cheeks turning red slightly.
Jace's confused face turns into a smirk. "Fuck yes. Of course you can take my car" he answers, getting comfortable in bed again.
I roll my eyes with a smile. Of course he's only thinking about the part where we can have sex without a condom again. "Thank you" I answer, grab his car keys and make my way out. Thankfully, I reach the gynaecologist office without much anxiety. At least not anxious about the drive, but for sure anxious about the IUD being put in.
"Hi, Mila Wilson. I called to get my IUD put in" I say, when I reach the office.
"Of course, please take a seat in the waiting area Miss Wilson" the nice, eldery lady at the front desk tells me. I do as she said, and try to distract myself with my phone as best as I can while I wait. For some reason, I feel safe today. I'm not scared, I'm just curious to see what it will feel like.
"Mila Wilson?" my doctor says, when she comes into the waiting room. My heart starts to race as I get up and follow her into her office. "Alright, are you ready to get your IUD placed?" she asks me with a bright face. I'm glad this is exciting for her at least.
I nod my head back at her. "Ready" I say, walking behind the curtain to get undressed. I think about having to sit on her chair for a few minutes and the thought makes me shut down. I feel tense right away.
"Are you alright?" the doctor asks me, when she notices my uneasiness. The nice lady from the front desk enters the room, as the doctor needs some assistance.
"Yeah, sorry. I just... I have a panic disorder, so don't worry if I seem to be a little overly nervous" I admit, feeling like I can tell her. She is a doctor after all.
"Alright, don't you worry. I will walk you through the steps as I go" she says understandingly.
I nod my head back at her as she lifts the chair I'm sitting on. "Okay, you'll feel a little pressure and a cold sensation" she says, inserting the metal thing inside of me. I've never known what it's called. "And now a little cold once more, I'm just disinfecting the area a little" she adds, and I nod my head once more. "Now this will be the worst part. I can see your uterus, and I will use this little tube to insert the IUD."
My heart starts to race and I wonder what it will feel like. The lady from the front desk holds something while my doctor grabs the tube. After that, I can't see what she's doing, but I can definitely feel that she's doing something. An indescribable pain shoots throughout my whole body, so much that I'm starting to feel faint. I hiss, and the doctor looks up at me worried.
"I know this can hurt, but the worst part is over" she says, pulling all of her instrument out of me. The front desk lady strokes my arm gently. I feel like I'm in good hands, but the pain is making me feel like I will pass out any second now. I need to get off of this chair now. "All that's left is the ultrasound to check if it's sitting correctly."
She does her thing, and I'm able to endure the few more minutes it takes. The ultrasound feels extremely uncomfortable and I'm happy when I can finally get dressed again. I'm ready to get out of here. "Alright, everything looks good. You will have to come back in four weeks so we can check if the IUD is still placed correctly. Sometimes the uterus excretes the IUD because it knows it's a foreign object, but don't worry about that for now. It is very rare" she explains, and I nod my head understandingly.
She finally lets me off of the chair, and I have to get up slowly to regain my balance. My stomach feels terrible. It's like I have stomach cramps from my period, but ten times worse. I get dressed, pay for the IUD and make my way back to the car with an incredible amount of anxiety. For some reason my body feels like it just went through major surgery, and I can't wait to get back to the apartment. Ten minutes later I'm there, and I'm looking forward to doing nothing for the rest of this day.
When I enter Jace's and my home, I notice that he's gone right away, and my heart sinks. The dizziness kicks back in, and I don't want to be alone with all this pain and weirdness that I'm feeling. I grab my phone right away, and call Jace. When he doesn't pick up, I try him another four times before I decide that he won't pick up. Where on earth could he be?
Defeated, I drop my purse onto the floor and lay myself down on the couch, clutching my stomach with my arms. I have to keep myself together in order no to get a panic attack then and there. The pain in my stomach makes it hard to breathe, and no position seems to be comfortable. I try to distract myself with my phone as best as I can. I contemplate calling my mom, but she won't be of help, she's too far away. The anxiety from the pain and from wondering where Jace is is getting the better of me, and a few tears escape from my eyes. What on earth am I going to do?
I get up from the couch again, trying my luck to find a heating pad for the second time. I open every cabinet in the kitchen, but of course, I can't find one. I pick up my phone again, trying to reach Jace once more. I just don't know where he would go without telling me, and I worry that he might be out buying drugs or getting drunk. He wouldn't do that Mila, relax.
An hour passes, but it feels like an eternity. The pain doesn't get any better, and I decide that it's time for that hot bath I was thinking of earlier. For some reason I feel super icky, like I want nothing to touch me. I walk into the bathroom with tears still streaming down my face. Turning on the tap, I let the hot water into the bathtub. At the same time, I hear my phone ringing from the couch. I race back towards it, and feel a huge amount of relief when I see that Jace is calling me.
"Hey" I say weakly.
"Is everything okay? I just saw that you called me like a million times" he asks a little worried. For some reason he sounds out of breath.
"Yeah, where are you? I'm in so much pain and I don't know what to do" I admit right away.
"Fuck, I'm so sorry. I was in the gym with Austin and didn't have my phone on me. I should've texted you baby" he says, and I hear him unlocking his car.
"I don't even care, please just come home. I'm about to get in the bath because I couldn't find a heating pad for the pain. It's all just making me so anxious" I say. I don't mean to snap at him, but I can't control my mood with this pain.
"I'll be there in fifteen minutes" he says, and I feel relief for the second time today.
"Okay, see you then" I say quietly, still feeling weak. I hang up the phone and bring it into the bathroom with me. I see that there's enough water in the tub, so I get undressed right away. Entering the tub feels amazing for a few minutes, and then the pain kicks back in. The frustration returns, and I wonder if this is normal. My gynaecologist said that a little pain is usual, but I wouldn't describe this as a little. Still, I fight the urge to go on Google, and push the worry aside that my uterus is extracting the IUD this very minute and I will have to endure the whole process again.
I startle when the door to the bathroom opens, but I feel relief when I see Jace coming in. "Hey baby. How are you feeling?" he says gently with a soft voice.
"Horrible. I don't know what to do" I admit, almost ready to let more tears fall.
Jace doesn't answer, but he gets undressed right away to join me in the tub. He takes a seat behind me, letting me rest my back on his chest. "Where does it hurt?" he asks me.
"On my lower belly. It's like the pain of period cramps, but ten times worse" I say, and feel Jace's hands on it seconds after. His hands add extra warmth and for some reason, it feels super relaxing.
"Fuck, I didn't know it was going to be this bad" he says, not really knowing what advice to give me.
"Me either. I almost fainted when they put it in. I just hope the pain will go away soon, I can't really take it anymore" I admit, taking big breaths.
"I'll get you a paracetamol for the pain when we're out of the bath, and then we'll just go to bed, okay? I'm sorry you're feeling this way" he says, and I admire him for his ability to stay calm.
"That sounds good. I'm never getting an IUD again. Ever. But we're good for five years now" I inform him.
I don't have to look at him to see the smirk on his face. I know exactly what he's thinking and roll my eyes, glad that at least one person here is excited about the IUD for now.
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