Can I really stop myself from doing it?....
I kept on asking myself that question....
Everytime I kept on writing smut.....
Smut about any ships on the TFF fandom....
Everytime I delete the smut chapters I wrote....
That I so wish to publish....
I stared at my phone looking at it....
And asked the same question over and over again....
Can I really stop myself from doing it?....
....
No I can't....
I want to write and publish what I want....
I want to write smut about any ships in the fandom and publish it....
But....
I don't want to be disrespectful....
And act like I'm not respecting them....
Being respectful have downsides....
Sometimes you want to do something....
But you will disrespect someone or something....
....
I really want to do this....
But knowing I will disrespect them....
It's really hard for me....
I might even return the smut is allowed in the near future....
Because of this split I have and fully not care writing about smut....
If really comes to that point where I must gave up being respectful....
To just fully write smut because I wish to....
And publish it out for everyone to read....
....
I don't know what I will do....
This is really hard for me....
And I'm lost because of this split....