- Pandora -
"He knew that when he kissed this girl, and forever wed his unutterable visions to her perishable breath, his mind would never romp again like the mind of God. So he waited, listening for a moment longer to the tuning-fork that had been struck upon a star. Then he kissed her. At his lips' touch she blossomed for him like a flower and the incarnation was complete."
I stared blankly at my paper, taking a curious glance around my deadly quiet English classroom before returning my attention to the large paragraph of words. I knew they held meaning - every piece of text held meaning - but I just didn't know what. I wasn't as smart nor open-minded as the teachers believed me to be, and I couldn't see past those words. I couldn't find the hidden meaning.
"Okay class! Time's up!" My lovely - yet extremely obnoxious - English teacher cried, causing most of his pupils to jump in fright.
I let out a small sigh of relief before pushing my paper away from me, glad to be rid of it. After staring at the same paragraph for the past ten minutes, you'd think I would have at least thought of something, but I hadn't.
"Now, who would like to share their thoughts?"
I watched in amusement as everyone sunk lower in their chairs, avoiding all eye contact with the teacher. Nobody wanted to share their thoughts purely because we didn't have any positive ones. The most positive comment you could get from me right now was: 'It is romantic'
That's it.
"No one?" He frowned, seeming slightly disappointed by the turn-out "Really?"
"I'll talk."
Everyone's attention shifted towards the back of the classroom, landing on one boy in particular. He was smirking, running a hand through his unruly locks of hair. I felt my chest tighten with jealousy as he sent a small wink towards the girl next to me, causing a small gasp to escape her lips.
"Oh my god," she murmured, gently elbowing me in the ribs "did you see that?"
Yes.
"No." I lied, attempting to appear completely clueless "What was it?"
"Ashton Irwin winked at me." She breathed, her eyes wide with shock "He fücking winked at me."
Well he's fücked me.
"That's cool." I nodded, ignoring the powerful urge to slap her.
"Do you think he likes me?"
"What?" I coughed, widening my eyes in disbelief.
It was a goddamn wink, not a fücking bouquet of roses.
"I know it's silly," she sighed, quickly shaking her head "but he just keeps looking over here and smiling and I- I don't know. I just think he likes me."
I swallowed back my annoyance before shooting her a painfully fake smile, attempting to appear slightly happy. If what she says is correct - and Ashton is constantly looking over - then that could mean he is possibly looking at me, and I cannot deny the feeling of warmth that brings me. But it could also mean that he is looking at her, and that is not a thought I would like to dwell on.
"Well, Ashton," the teacher sighed, appearing slightly apprehensive "what are your thoughts?"
"I liked it," Ashton stated, his voice thick with confidence "Gatsby loved Daisy, and knew that when he kissed her, all the dreams he had of her would become known and never be private again. Yet he didn't care. He kissed her anyway because he loved her, and felt as though she was worthy to share his private thoughts and fantasies."
The class remained silent, slightly surprised by Ashton's words. He had never been one to share his opinions - unless it they were cruel and intended to hurt someone - so it came as quite a surprise to hear him speak so powerfully. He carried confidence in his words, as if he had studied the text for years and knew exactly what to say, and I respected him for it.
"Wow, I um- That was very good Ashton." The teacher coughed, his eyebrows raised in disbelief.
Ashton shrugged, seeming completely oblivious to everyone's questioning gaze.
"That being said, I believe Gatsby was an idiot for kissing Daisy."
"Why?" I frowned, not intending to say the words out loud until they left my lips.
I blushed, ignoring the humoured glance he shot towards me.
"What do you mean?"
"Why was he an idiot?" I continued, my chest tightening nervously as everyone's attention shifted towards me "I mean, he loved her."
"Yet she did not love him."
"Spoiler alert." Calum huffed, causing half of the class to erupt in laughter.
"Quieten down!" The teacher ordered, his dull eyes focused intently on me "Pandora, you may continue."
"Uh, thanks?" I coughed, feeling extremely awkward. Why did he ask me to continue? I hadn't even attempted to speak. "But Gatsby didn't know this at the time."
"Gatsby didn't know it by the end either," Ashton smirked, enjoying the irritated look on my face "he died believing Daisy was calling him to profess her love, when in reality it was Nick. Daisy was a selfish cow who never really cared for Gatsby, and he was too much of an idiot to notice."
"I don't believe that," I frowned, slightly shaking my head "Daisy did love Gatsby, she was just afraid."
"Afraid of what?" He scoffed, cocking his eyebrow questioningly "Leaving Tom?"
"And her child."
"Daisy never loved Gatsby and that's why she allowed him to take the blame for killing Myrtle."
"Look, I thought we just wanted Ashton's thoughts, not a fücking debate." Calum sighed, causing the teachers eyes to widen.
"Calum, go stand outside!"
With this, his chocolate brown eyes widened, his lips parting to let out a surprised croak.
"What? Why?"
"The fact you don't know is evidence enough. Outside!"
Calum shot a confused glance towards Ashton before abruptly rising from his seat, stomping towards the door and out into the hallway. I watched him slam the door shut behind him before returning my attention to Ashton, only to find his hazel eyes already on me.
He was slightly smiling, his eyes alight with amusement. I felt my cheeks flush a gentle shade of pink as I awkwardly diverted my gaze to the table, noticing how the girl beside me seemed to perk up again.
She thought he was looking at her, the little slüt.
"He's doing it again." She gushed, causing me to roll my eyes.
"Of course he is."
-
"This new girl came into my Calculus today." Evie rambled, stabbing her fork repeatedly into her salad "She was nice and everything, but she has this bad aura about her. Like she's secretly planning to murder you or some shít. Get what I mean?"
I nodded, pretending to be listening when in reality I was thinking back to English. Ashton had been so passionate with his words, as if he had read The Great Gatsby more than the couple times we had been instructed to. I had never thought of him as someone who would enjoy books, but I guess there was a lot I still didn't know about Ashton.
"God, why are they coming over?" Evie suddenly groaned, resting her head in her hands.
I frowned, my body tensing nervously.
"Who?"
My question was quickly answered as Ashton abruptly sat down beside me, his tray slamming noisily down against the table. Michael sat down at the opposite side of me, followed by Calum then Luke. Evie remained with her head in her hands, refusing to meet any of the boys questioning gazes. I - however - stared at them all in confusion, slightly uncomfortable about the whole situation.
"Why are you guys here?"
"What do you mean?" Ashton chuckled, gently leaning into me "We've sat here before."
"Yeah, once." I frowned, taking a nervous glance around at the cafeteria.
Everyone was staring.
"Look, Ashton's basically fücking you," Michael sighed, taking a large bite from his pizza slice "we're entitled to sit here."
"Although your point is valid, please never say that again." Luke begged, his cheeks flushed red with disgust.
"I feel really uncomfortable right now." Evie stated, her voice slightly muffled by her palms.
"Well, you can always leave." Calum retorted, causing my chest to tighten.
Please, no more fighting.
"I was sitting here first jackäss."
"Sorry babe."
"Shut the fück up Calum." Ashton sighed, noticing my sudden discomfort "You don't have to act like a díck all the time."
"I don't!" He growled, his chocolate brown eyes focused angrily upon Evie "Only to her."
"I swear to fück, if you two break up and act like this, I'll fücking deck the both of you." Michael stated bluntly, his green eyes flickering between myself and Ashton. "I can't handle yet another awkward relationship."
"We're not even dating." Ashton retorted, his voice thick with annoyance.
I felt a wave of disappointment crash over me but chose to ignore it, quickly faking a supportive smile before shuffling slightly away from him. His words shouldn't hurt me, but they did.
"Do any of you know a girl named Nikki?" Luke randomly questioned, his eyes focused intently on his phone.
We all shot each other questioning glances before shrugging, softly shaking our heads.
"I know a Nikita, but no Nikki's." Michael stated.
Luke just nodded, his lips pursed with annoyance. I wanted to question who this new mysterious Nikki was, but I didn't want to upset him further, so I remained silent. There was enough tension at the table already, no need to add to it.
"Pandora, can I speak to you?"
Taking a sharp intake of breath, I diverted my attention towards Ashton, his hazel eyes softly meeting my own. He had a confused look across his face, and I just knew this couldn't be good.
"I uh- Sure?" I frowned, nervously standing from the table.
Ashton followed on after me before leading us towards the corner of the cafeteria, ignoring everyone's questioning glances towards his hand placed gently against the small of my back. I wanted to turn around and slap them all, but I remained calm, focusing all my energy on not yelling at Ashton.
Why did he insist on speaking to me in private? Could he not question me at the table like any other guy would?
"What's wrong?" He finally asked once we were concealed in the shadows, taking a nervous glance around at the crowded cafeteria.
I shrugged, resting my head back against the cool yellow wall. I had always hated this colour, yet I found a slight sense of comfort in it. Don't ask me why.
"Nothing's wrong."
"Don't lie."
"I'm not."
Ashton rolled his beautiful hazel eyes before taking a confident step towards me, his large hands placed gently against my waist. I attempted not to stare at his goddamn crotch and focused on his perfectly plump lips, wishing I could just kiss him.
"Is it because I said we weren't dating?"
Damn, he was good.
"No." I lied, crossing my arms defiantly across my chest.
"Then what is it?" He questioned, already sounding slightly irritated.
I shrugged again, feeling stupid for making such a big fuss. All he did was state the truth - we aren't in a relationship. There was no need for me to get all píssy about it and demand an explanation.
"Pandora, please?"
"It's fine, seriously."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"Okay then," he sighed, still sounding pretty sceptical "but just remember, I didn't mean anything about the whole relationship thing. I just didn't want to be that guy that assumed we were dating after a couple of fücks, y'know?"
"A couple fücks?" I coughed, causing his eyes to widen.
"Fück! Shít- um... No! That's not what I- I did not-"
"It's fine Ashton," I sighed, giving him a reassuring pat on the back before quickly retreating back into the quiet corner "I know what you meant."
"No, you really don't." He stressed, tugging anxiously at the roots of his hair.
"Then explain it to me."
He studied the littered ground for a couple of seconds before looking up, pain flashing across the hazel of his eyes. I held back a scream as he slowly backed away from me, leaving me as confused as ever in the corner of the room.
All by myself.
*****************
For all y'all asking - no I do not have Twitter/Instagram.
-
THIS OLD WOMAN TRIED TO PUSH ME ONTO THE ROAD TODAY AND I LITERALLY THINK I HAVE A SIGN ON MY FACE SAYING 'PENSIONERS PLS KÍLL ME'.
Y'know what I also love, that every time I walk into a shop, the employees always watch me as if I'm going to steal something. Like, I'm not a fücking burglar. I'm just a teenager that has been badly misread by society and wants to buy a nice top.
Judging teenagers needs to stop pls. I have not once tried to shove anyone into a road, and it's happened to me twice in the space of a week by the very people who judge me
Society, I have found a major plot hole in your theory, and I'm about to blow this case wide open.
-
Song: Mind Over Matter by PVRIS (Acoustic)
-
Please vote/comment/add to your library
And thank you so much for reading!
- Esmerelda 💜