"I can't feel my butt." Argyle complained as they group got out of the van. "Can you guys feel your butt?"
"I can feel my butt." Will confirmed as he stretched his back.
"Not me." Wesley confirmed, making sure the windows were rolled down for DP. "Didn't have much of a butt to feel in the first place though."
"Wesley is true." Argyle hummed.
"Everyone needs to be on their best behavior, okay?" Jonathan warned the group, mainly looking to Argyle.
"Why are you looking at me when you say that?" he laughed.
"Woah, I didn't!" Jonathan defended himself.
"They're just really religious." Mike pointed out.
"Ah, hang on." Weasley upbottoned one of the buttons on his shirt and untucked it from his pants. "Do I look less gay?"
"You're gay?" Argyle gapped.
"Dude." Jonathan looked in disbelief. "He literally mentioned it in the way up here."
"Really?" he gapped. "Rad, dude."
"I think you look..." Will trialed off. "Like yourself but less...put together."
"My worst nightmare, Will." Wesley gave him a head tilt. "Maybe they're a spiritual, believe in everything, type of religion."
"I'm super spiritual, dude." Argyle nodded.
"I think they're spiritual too." Mike looked back. "Just in a different way."
"Okay, knock." Jonathan encouraged Wesley.
"Me? Why me?" he gave an alarming look.
"I don't know, you seem like you'd be good at that sort of thing." he said in return.
"Jonathan." Will scolded him.
"I can't even ask for new roller skates, Jonathan." Wesley gave him a crazy look. "Mike?"
"Yeah, okay." he stepped forward while Wesley went to stand with Will again. With a knock, a small boy opened the door with, what appeared to me, a bow and arrow in his hand.
"Oh. Hey." Mike stared at him. "Is Suzie here?"
The boy screamed, letting the bow go as the fake arrow flew forward and hit Wesley right between the legs. He winced, nearly falling over as Will caught him. "I don't say anything and still get the punishment?"
"Sorry, Wes." Will patted his back until he could stand straight again.
"Away, you starveling!" one of the kids yelled at the other when they walked in. "You elf-skin! You dried neat'd tongue!"
Will and Wesley shared an alarming look.
"This is my kind of party." Argyle looked around.
"I've been bitten." a girl announced as she fell onto the carpet. "Help! Help!"
"Beautiful performance." a boy approached with a camera in hand.
"This is like a school pep rally." Wesley hummed with a nod of his head. "Just, minus the band."
"Don't jinx it." Will shook his head.
"Excuse me." Jonathan cleared his throat. "Uh, hey, we're looking for Suzie."
The boy snapped his fingers with a look of disbelief. "Can you not see that we are filming?"
They rounded the kitchen corner to come across two children cooking. Mike cleared his throat. "Hi, we're looking for Suzie."
"Don't know, don't care." the girl stated, yanking the spoon from her brother. "That's too much salt, Peter. Fathers kidneys! Fathers kidneys!"
"Oh shit?" Wesley's eyebrows shot up. "Suzies got a Peter, too?"
"That's gotta be a good sign, right?" Will suggested with a hopeful smile.
"It's a common name." Mike shrugged.
Wesley huffed. "Mike, we're trying to stay positive that the mormons won't roll us up and set us on fire."
"Oh, sorry. Right." Mike nodded his head. "Peter is a great sign!"
The breaker suddenly shut off, the lights falling black. A older girls voice rung. "Cornelius! How many times do I have to tell you?"
She messed with the breaker once again. "That is not a toy. Come on."
She walked past them, looking at Argyle. He went into a love state at the sight of her. They followed her up the stairs as she gapped at the group of boys. "Who the hell are you?"
"Argyle." he smiled at her.
"Eden." she eyed them slightly.
"Like the garden." Argyle gapped.
"We have a common brother name." Wesley smiled at her, getting a dumb look. Will patted his back with a clear of his throat. "Is Suzie here?"
"Third floor, second door on your left." Eden nodded her head. "If you see her, you make sure to give that selfish four-eyed shit a nice little shove for me."
"Anything for you, Eden." Argyle basically drooled. "I will shove her.."
Jonathan pushed the door open, looking around. "Well, great, she's not here."
Wesley looked toward the window, pulling Wills arm. "Listen?"
They heard something on the roof.
"Give her a shove." Mike quoted Eden, sticking his head out the window to look up at her. "Suzie!"
"Yeah?" she looked back. "Who the heck are you?"
"Aw, she's so cute." Wesley gushed slightly.
"Listen. We're Dustin's friends." Will yelled over his head.
"Yeah." Mike agreed. "We really need your help."
They each gave wide smile up to her.
"I dial in to this computer and find a location, and at this location is the Nina Project?" Suzie asked as she sat on her bed, the paper in hand.
"Exactly." Mike nodded.
"And the Nina Project is the code name for a video game?" Suzie frowned her eyebrows together.
"It's a video game console." Mike nodded.
"It's basically America's answer to Nintendo." Will jumped in.
"Yeah." Wesley nodded.
"Americantendo." Argyle hummed.
"That's a stupid name." Suzie stared.
"True, but..." Wesley gave her a look. "It's 16-bit."
"Sixteen-bit?" her jaw fell. "Why have I never heard of it?"
"Because it's top secret." Mike informed her with a nod.
"That's why we're doing this." Will pointed out .
"Yeah, right. It's for the promotion." Mike agreed with him.
"Like a game. A contest." Wesley crossed his legs. "The winners get-"
"Americantendo?" Argyle suggested.
"Uh, an Amerucantendo." Mike sighed with a nod of his head.
"So you drive 3,000 miles over your spring break so I can help you get a new video game console no one has ever heard of?" Suzie nodded her head.
"Didn't really have anywhere to be." Wesley shrugged on sync with Will.
"But it's not for us. It's for Dustin." Will pointed out.
"For Dustin's birthday, which is..." Mike trialed off.
"In two months, three days, five hours." Suzie nodded.
"I don't even remember my birthday most of the time." Wesley whispered to Will honestly.
"Suzie, I don't know what you're doing but I am not spending my entire day babysitting." Eden pushed the door open quickly. "Pull your damn weight!"
"Language." Suzie scolded her.
"Oh no, am I gonna burn in hall now?" Eden gasped as she clutched her heart.
"You tell her, Eden." Argyle stared in memorization.
"Out of my room!" Suzie shoved her.
"Don't touch me, you little shit!" Eden yelled as the door was slammed in her face.
"Okay, so can you help?" Will gave her a hopeful look.
"I would do anything for Dustybun, but i'm afraid there's been an unfortunate development." Suzie sighed as she messed with her fingers. "After changing Dusty grades, I was wretched with the most awful guilt. Father could see my soul was tortured, and he wrenched a confession out of me. Not only was I breaking the law, I was dating an agnostic. An agnostic! I've never seen Father so angry. Naturally, after learning the terrible truth, he confiscated my computer. And Father is not one to change his mind. I'm as likely to see it again as I am my poor Dustybun."
"Where is it?" Jonathan stared.
"His study." Suzie answered. "He uses it for work now. And Father's always worked, and his door is, like, permanently locked."
"Can't imagine why." Wesley mumbled as Will elbowed him.
"I'm really sorry." Suzie sighed. "Truly. But it looks like you came all the way here for nothing."
The power shut off again. "Cornelius!"
The power came back on as shrieking echoed. Suzie gave a look. "Unless.."
"Unless?" Mike nearly shook in hope.
"There might be a way." Suzie looked at them. "But we're gonna need help."
"Help as in the five of us or..." Wesley trailed off.
"I mean a lot of help." Suzie looked his way.
"All right." Argyle nodded.
"Where's Argyle?" Will looked around when they got into the study.
"Shit, I don't know." Jonathan looked around.
"How'd we loose him?" Wesley gave an odd look. "I can spot that hair from a mile away."
"Too many people?" Will suggested.
"And three, two..." with a pull of the breaker, the computer came on.
"Oh my god." Mikes eyes widened. "Why to go, Cornelius."
"Yeah, Suzie-Poo." Wesley cheered for her.
She began to type on the phone, looking back at the computer with a single click. "And we're in."
Mike smiled as Wesley and Will shared a happy look. "Holy sh..heck. Oh holy heck. You did it."
"Hold your applause. I don't see an address." Suzie went to typing once again.
"Office." Jonathan pointed. "Try office:"
She listened, clicking quickly as the computer flooded with multiple bar codes. "What is all this?"
"Government officials." Wesley hummed, getting a crazy look from Will. "Video games."
"Maybe it's hidden in the code somewhere?" Jonathan suggested.
"What you just said makes no sense." Mike rolled his eyes.
"Hold your butts. I'll just trace the IP." Suzie cut in on the banter.
"The..The I-what?" Will blinked.
"The internet protocol address." she said in return. "It's a unique numerical label given to all information technology connect to the Internet."
"Who's Internet?" Wesley questioned her.
"Weird name." Will agreed with him.
"Don't worry about it." Suzie said casually. "It's just gonna change the world."
"What's happening now?" Mike questioned as she typed a little faster
"I'm running the IP through a geolocation software." she answered, not taking her eyes off the screen. "Basically a form of data mining."
"Bingo." Suzie smiled as she hit return, location shown.
"Nevada?" the boys all asked on sync.
"Can you print this?" Mike looked down at Suzie.
"No, my skills end at IP geolocation." she said sarcastically, turning to hit the printer button.
"Mike, she was being sarcastic." Wesley whispered to him.
"Oh, you were being sarcastic." he nodded. Will shook his head.
"Okay, times ticking. Gotta save my sister in law." Wesley took the printed sheet as he ran.
"Wes!" Will called, running after him as they passed a wobbling man.
"Hi, Father. You look like you need a nap." Suzie spoke, running down first as the man eyed all four of the boys.
"Slow down!" he called over the staircase.
"Dustin's right." Mike panted as they got outside, taking the paper from Suzie. "You're a certified genius."
"It's those damn glasses." Wesley shook his head.
"Language." Suzie scolded him.
"Yeah." Will gave a snort his way. "Language, Wesley."
"I think we just spooked a skunk." Suzie gave a sniff of the air.
"I don't know about a skunk." Wesley paused as Will bumped into him. "Watch your step, William."
Jonathan pulled the back door open, revealing Argyle and Eden smoking in the back.
"Yo. My dudes." Argyle laughed as he sat up some. "Any luck?"
•
kylie speaks
see ya on the 1st, wes. ily.