TW: sexual assault (not heavily
detailed), mention of suicide and murder
Things with Chico have been rather awkward to say the least. I haven't spoken a full sentence to him in nearly three days.
He knows we had sex but he doesn't know he called me another name. I don't know why it hurts me as much as it does.
I'm not used to feeling that way. It's new for me and for my mafia, they definitely noticed a change in my behaviour. Especially Kai.
"You got to tell him at some point." Kai stated as we listened to Miss De Luca.
Blow Dart Workshop is kind of useless and stupid since I always have my gun on me.
"What am I supposed to say? Hey, remember when we had sex? Yeah? Well you said I love you Maria after... kind of shitty after I gave you an amazing orgasm. No, I'm just going to ignore the problem, it'll go away soon."
"Berlusconi! Help out the Rat." Miss De Luca called out while pointing to Marcus who looked down at his feet embarrassed.
"I'm going to shoot myself."
"I give you full permission to kill us." I said before making my way towards the Latino.
He slightly towered over me, his curly brown hair laying messily on his head as he smiled shyly at me.
"It's not hard to blow a dart and hit the dummy, you know?" I stated with a raised eyebrow.
"Looks like I just suck at everything." He admitted while putting the Kalashnikov close to his mouth.
"Not everything. You seem to always get yourself in shitty situations. That, itself, is a power." I said with a small chuckled causing him to raise his eyebrow at me.
"Didn't we want to kill him a few weeks back?" Smiley questioned in confusion.
"Yes... but that's because Maria tried to set him up to kill Chico. And he was being kind of a dick...."
"What does that mean? That we were only mad at him because Chico was?"
"I—... wow. Pretty much. I don't think I have an actual reason why I hate him... that's sad." I admitted as Marcus looked at me with frowned eyebrows.
"Are you okay? You spaced out for a second." He whispered as Miss De Luca walked pass us with her ruler.
"She's so hot."
"Your stance is wrong. How you gonna blow a fucking dart if your legs are closed?" I asked while kicking his legs open. Marcus lightly stumbled, catching himself with my arm.
"Watch it, Arguello."
Marcus looked at me in surprised.
"You know my name?" He questioned as I sighed loudly.
"Yes, I know your name. How's Billy doing? Heard about the mouse trap." I said with a small smirk, as if I didn't know who planted the device.
It was me. I did it but fucking Jaden took credit for it. I don't really care for it.
"I fucking hate bullies." He mumbled under his breath as I placed his hands properly over the Kalashnikov.
"Blow." I whispered in his ear, the boy shivering slightly as I tried not to laugh.
He did. And hit the target.
A huge grin appeared on his face as Miss De Luca smirked at me. This woman always has an ulterior agenda.
"You know, if I had you as a teacher for every class, I'd probably ace all of them." Marcus admitted shamelessly.
"I don't work for free, bello."
The bell rang loudly, causing Marcus to lightly flinch at the sound while I walked away from him.
"Vanessa, stay behind, sweetheart." Miss De Luca called out as most of the class left.
Kai shot me a raised eyebrow before I shook my head, letting him know that he didn't need to stay behind for me.
"You going to be okay?" Marcus asked while grabbing his bag. Scoffing at his comment, I gently shoved his shoulder as he chuckled before walking out of the classroom.
Once everyone had left, Miss De Luca motioned for me to take a seat in front of her.
"How are you doing, Vanessa?" The long haired woman questioned.
"Couldn't be better." I mumbled while crossing my arms over my chest. Miss De Luca raised an eyebrow at me as I sighed, yet again.
"Chico and I aren't on speaking terms anymore..."
"We wonder why."
"Shut up, Smiley." I growled at my best friend.
"We had sex and he called me the wrong name. I knew it was wrong, I shouldn't have agreed but— che sciocco che sono." I mumble under my breath.
"You had sex with Chico when he's dating Maria? Now I'm not saying that's wrong but maybe you shouldn't have done that." Miss De Luca said with a small chuckle.
Over the years, Miss De Luca has become sort of like my confident. She's the only person that understand the pressure I'm under. Miss De Luca — or fiore as I like to call her — comes from a mafia family. Except, her father was an underboss and not the capo, not like my dad.
"Tell me about it."
"Why'd you do it, Nessa? I know you both have a past but he's in a relationship."
"That's the thing, fiore! She doesn't love him, well not anymore at least. Ever since Arguello has arrived, she's had her claws on him." I grumbled as Miss De Luca took a seat next to me, her arm going around my shoulders.
"The way you talk about him makes me think you're in love... am I wrong, Nessa?"
"I— I— I don't fucking know. He's the closest thing I have to family but fuck does he piss me off and makes my stomach flip."
Miss De Luca pulled me close to her, my whole body relaxing in her embrace.
"What about Arguello? You guys seemed pretty cozy during class."
"Pfft, excuse me? Aren't you the one that practically threw us together." I argued.
"You'd make beautiful interracial babies." She gushed like a schoolgirl.
"You guys really would make cute babies. Curly haired and green eyes. That's adorable."
"Aren't you supposed to be the voice in my head telling me to kill someone? Since when have you become a teenage girl?"
"Fuck you."
"I get that being the capo dei capi means you have to beware of ennemies but try to befriend him. He might be a better friend then Chico... or Willie." She admitted without a care in the world.
"Willie's a good friend... haven't talked to him in a while but I knows he's there for me."
"Really? Was he there when Tyson died?" The woman questioned as I shot up, glaring harshly at her while balling my fist up.
"Don't you ever mention him, okay? You don't know shit about what happened with Tyson. Keep your fucking mouth shut."
Walking out of the classroom, I couldn't help but wipe the stray tears that were falling from my eyes.
Fuck her.
Fuck her for making me remember a dark time in my life, and fuck her for mentioning it as if it was the Sunday news.
Without looking back, I walked out of Kings Dominion and headed towards my car.
It didn't take long before I reached the cemetery, a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a single glass in the other.
I made my way towards the Berlusconi mausoleum. I rubbed the Virgin Mary status feet before entering the grey building.
Stopping in front of a headstone, I couldn't help but close my eyes and rest my forehead against it. My fingers slightly touching the gold engravings.
Tyson Berlusconi.
Beloved son.
1984 — 1986
"you were taken too soon, mia vita."
Multiple tears streamed down my face as I tried to calm down my breathing. I stared at my son's grave for a solid minute before sinking to the floor.
"Mia vita..." I whispered while pouring myself a glass of whiskey.
When I was fifteen, I went on my first mission at Kings Dominion by myself. I was still a little naive and didn't realize that the man had drugged my water.
He followed me in the back of an alley, knocked my head in the wall and raped me. Chico was the one that found me and killed the bastard, that's when we really became friends.
Two months later, I found out I was pregnant. I didn't want the child at first. But I fell in love with the little fetus when I went to my appointment with Chico.
He's the only one I had confided in about my pregnancy and about my assault.
He helped me through all of it, even to the point of getting me ice cream at two in the morning when I was craving it.
When I gave birth, I decided that I didn't want to continue school and wanted to rule my mafia the way I was supposed to.
Chico convinced me to stay, telling me he'd help me out with my classes and shit. He even babysat Tyson once when I had a business deal to conduct.
I made him Tyson's godfather, and fuck if he didn't love that boy like his own son. Even started teaching him words in Spanish when my son couldn't even speak English yet.
When my baby boy turned 2, that's when my life turned upside down.
The American mafia learned about him through snitches that did — in fact — end up in ditches.
They broke into my mansion, killed half of my guards then kidnap my child. I looked for Tyson for weeks, using all of the ressources I had at hand.
Turns out someone from my mafia was working for the Americans and kept blocking our paths with fake information or deleting important details.
I shot that fucker in the head after.
We were too late to find Tyson. He had died of starvation and hypothermia. I was the one that found him... alone... broken and cold in that small basement room.
I cried for months and almost tried to end my life because of the pain. Chico found me a few times, staying with me for some days or until I was starting to feel better...
just for it to start all over again.
"I miss you so much, baby." I whisper while downing my third glass of whiskey.
"I should've tried harder. I should've found the mole— I should've fought for you." I broke down, crying.
My pained cries filled up the mausoleum as I stared at my baby's grave, the one next to my parents. They never got — and never will — meet their grandchildren. Or see who I marry.
I know my dad wasn't the best but fuck he was still my father and I love him.
"Hey. Hey, Van. Take a deep breath. You're going to make yourself pass out."
"I can't do this anymore. My family's gone, Smiley. They're all gone."
"You have me! Please, Van." My best friend pleaded as I cried even harder.
I was tired of having that though girl exterior, I'm just weak. I'm fucking weak. I couldn't even protect my loved ones.
Weak. Weak. Weak.