Bob had barely slept, perfecting his new routine over the weekend with another dancer named Lena he'd seen to be a quick study. She was charmingly game, and he'd collaborated with the choreographer so there'd be no hard feelings. The bosses loved it and eventually Ivan did too, growling his snow monster's approval from atop a ladder dressed as a mountain peak at the last, late rehearsal.
The Christmas Train launched Sunday afternoon to group after group of happy families whose past and present medical misfortunes had at least given them the small pleasure of being first to board the ride and experience all the marvels that came with it. The amusement ride began with a long line outside before winding its way inside of what looked like a quaint train station. Special effects made it seem as though snow was falling outside even though the weather was still behaving like a dry fall day. Visitors would advance by the dozens until one ride's limit was being held in the space which looked like a ticketing area. This is where Bob's number would begin.
Posing as passengers, he and Lena would loudly begin a dialogue about the joys of going home for Christmas only to be told the train was heading to the North Pole. Bob would then seem surprised and a little disappointed. The ticket agent would ask, "What's so special about home that you don't want to go to the North Pole?" as a set up to the pair performing their dance number, singing to the classic song, 'Christmas in Killarney'. It delighted those waiting in line, not to mention explained why Bob and Lena never actually boarded the train.
By late Sunday evening they had done their Killarney bit twelve times, the last few performances given to those sponsors and privileged invitees attending the night's private gala. Maya opened the event with a small Christmas concert, oblivious to the fact that a video her mother had taken of her drunkenly reenacting her spotlight dance at Alarm Bar was now a TikTok sensation. Who helped Emaline upload it was anybody's guess, but 'Look At Me, Mama!' had gone viral with over three hundred thousand views and a number of parodies already. Further testing the old adage that there's no such thing as bad publicity, word of Alpinia's plot was starting to get around creating a special disaster-waiting-to-happen sort of buzz.
None of this could really be Natasha's concern. The ride was a hit, and her party was going wonderfully. Her clients had already congratulated her and expressed their appreciation. Throughout the evening, Rodney had been keeping his distance as instructed, teasing her with stolen glances from across the room. Once her parents at last confirmed via text that they were skipping the event, she wasted no time in giving him a come-hither finger crook. He looked around the room with dramatic hesitation before she snapped and pointed to the floor in front of her. After a few steps, he halted and spun his back to her. A breathy curse word had barely left her lips when she felt the presence of a server invade her space with a pushy tray of hors d'oeuvres.
"No thanks," she said.
"No thanks, what?" DeeDee asked.
Her sister stood dressed to the hilt in a gorgeous black dress, unaware of Rodney's presence or how easily she could be confused for staff hired to hand out canapés.
"What are you doing with that?" Natasha asked.
"Taking them home so I can tear them apart and figure out how to make them," she said sheepishly. "I've got one of each now, so my work here is done."
"How long have you been here? Why go home so early?"
"I came out to say I did, but I'm bored. The concert was incredible though."
"My own sister," Natasha said, shaking her head. "This is the most exclusive event in the city tonight and you want go home and decimate a plate of cheese puffs? Did you at least flirt a little? I tried to stack the deck in our favour, if you know what I mean."
DeeDee's smile was a face shrug.
"Did you even ride the train?"
"I took it when they first got it running."
"Yeah, but not with the dancers and Santa and full effects. It's spectacular now!"
"I've got the whole season to do it."
"Remember when we were flying home from Arizona and I couldn't be bothered to put my gossip rag down to look at the Grand Canyon out the window?"
"I forced you."
"Thank God you did."
"This is hardly the Grand Canyon."
"But it's a moment you won't get back."
"What more is there to see?"
"You're bailing on more stuff than usual these days. Is it still the break-up blues?"
"No," DeeDee said, hoping it would soon be the truth. "Well, maybe I'm still a little bummed, but it's probably hormonal too. Anyway, now that the pressure is off with this project, I'll be fine. Let's go out man-hunting next week."
Natasha's eyes darted across the room in Rodney's direction. "Sure," she said to DeeDee, laughing in way that didn't at all suit the conversation. DeeDee turned to see the cause of Natasha's distraction.
"Did you know he was going to be here?" she asked.
"No, but I'm not surprised," Natasha fibbed as though it were of little concern. "Hotel managers can get tickets to anything."
"Want me to stay with you a bit longer so he doesn't come over?"
"We're still on good terms."
"Then maybe I'll leave so he does," DeeDee said with a smirk.
The sisters hugged and said goodnight without a single cheese puff casualty.
When Natasha was sure the coast was clear, she once again beckoned Rodney over.
"Is it safe?"
"Yep. DeeDee's done for the night and my parents couldn't be bothered." Rodney leaned in for a kiss but Natasha dodged it. "No smooching, though. Just in case."
"I'm picturing our wedding day already," he said, and grabbed two glasses of champagne off a passing tray, giving her that look that said she'd have to make up for it when they got home.
Bob Dinsdale was able to snag a flute too as he bounded up to Natasha and Rodney, still bubbling with endorphins from the day's performances. He knew Natasha thought he'd manipulated his way into the spotlight, but it wasn't much of a spotlight, and it wasn't true. Why shouldn't he thank her again for giving him the opportunity to do something that made him feel like his best self? If it was the last part he'd ever play, Train Station Passenger Number 1 was something he would forever be immensely proud of.
"Boy, this is a major turnout!" he said to Natasha's blank stare and Rodney's easy smile.
"Rodney, this is Bob. He sang 'Christmas in Killarney' at the ticket booth."
"He didn't just sing it," Rodney said, recognizing him. "He danced the hell out of it too. Great job!"
Bob was genuinely pleased. "You think so?"
"Fantastic!"
"I was worried that my Irish accent kept slipping into Scottish. I narrated a kid's play with a Scottish accent once and it has a way of sneaking back in there."
Before Natasha could jump in and change the subject, Bob began to recite:
"Now you might not believe that I'm tellin' the truth
But I am and I know 'cause I'm older.
Ali McGator had only one tooth
And that it was only a molar!
"So she couldn'a eat greens, not chomp nor a champ,
And she couldn'a eat grasses nor mums.
Only wait for the weeds in the swamp to go damp
And then slurp them right through her gums!"
"There aren't any gators in Scotland," Rodney said with an affable chuckle.
"No mums in swamps either," Natasha said into her glass.
"Personally, I always thought Ali should've really had all her teeth and just used the story a ruse to get you to look in her mouth," Bob said.
"Kids would've loved that," Rodney said.
"The girl who played her did a Scottish accent and a lisp." Bob raised his glass. "Here's to her."
"And here's to you, Bob," Natasha gave in. "The number works great, and people love being terrified by that abominable snowman."
"He was your idea."
"Another toast then," Rodney said. "To Natasha and the Loy success."
They raised glasses again. Bob decided it would be as well timed an exit as any.
"I know you didn't want to hire me, but I'm very grateful you did. I really just wanted to say thanks again. I'll leave you two alone now. Goodnight."
"Goodnight," they bid him. Natasha could hardly believe it was that easy.
Neither could Rodney from what she'd told him.
"That's the pain in the ass?"
"You've only spent three minutes with him."
"He's seems like a perfectly nice guy to me."
"He tries too hard."
"A nice guy in that business has to."
"Divas, I can handle, but he's something else. Self-depricating but desperate for attention, you know the type. He talks like 'No' is all he's ever heard, but all I've heard him told was 'Yes'."
"And you've spent how long with him?"
"I just don't speak actor, and he never shuts up. I'm not saying he isn't a nice guy, just maybe the most annoying person I've ever had in a car."
"Not the type you'd take home to mother then? At least not your mother anyway."
"Imagine!" Natasha said into her champagne, stopping short of actually swallowing any.
Rodney had, of course, made the remark in jest, but something in it gave her a sense akin to déjà vu. She lowered the glass and brought it back to her lips several times without taking a sip. Her eyes narrowed in search of a thought, widening when she found it.
"Tastes okay to me," Rodney said.
Natasha shushed him. "I'm onto something."
"Onto or on?"
"Oh my God. My psychic was right!" she said as if she'd been a fool not to have realized before. She hit Rodney on his breast pocket with the back of her hand "The only way to get my parents to like you is to break up with you!"
"They already think you've broken up with me," he said, a little confused.
"Which will make it more believable when I replace you with someone way worse!" She was practically giddy.
"I'll wait for it," Rodney deadpanned.
"You know those cheesy holiday movies where the girl pays the guy to be her date to a family dinner or wedding or something? They're just friends, or they hate each other, or it's strictly business, but they wind up falling in love anyway?"
"I'm glad to say I don't."
"But I do..." she said, her calculating tongue pointing up towards her devious brain.
"The Grinch got an idea. An awful idea," Rodney said in his best Boris Karloff impression.
"If I bring Bob home for Christmas, tell my folks we're engaged, have him tick all of their dream son-in-law boxes but drive them insane, they'll be yearning for the day when your choice of tie embarrassed them. Get it?"
"Which tie?"
"Not the point. The point is I'm brilliant!"
"You mean your psychic is, and if she is, doesn't that mean we're all headed for a fiery doom anyway?"
"She's only eighty percent accurate."
"Do I sell my stocks or not?"
"What stocks?"
"Well, my futures in us to start."
"Sweetie, this will work."
"Bring an actor home for Christmas," Rodney scoffed. "He'll never make it past the door."
"Not as an actor. As some lawyer or doctor or something. Someone rich and successful and totally obnoxious!"
"I don't think I like this plan. You said the fakers always fall in love."
"With him?? Never!"
"Famous last words."
Natasha kissed him excitedly to erase his doubts.
"You also said no smooching."
"Just in case those really were our last words," she said, pointing to the ceiling and kissing him again.