Note: please listen to the song while you're reading!
"Khabkhleun, I like you," the words flipped out of Daonuea's mouth in a harsh whisper. You…what? Khleun's heartbeat accelerated looking at the other boy, his mind caught in the middle of capturing and engraving every line of fluffy hazelnut hair and chocolate brown eyes, down to the curve of pink lips in his mind. Still, he froze at the thought of it, the confession catching him off guard. Thoguths raced through Khabkhleun's mind at the speed of light, too fast for him to grasp. Grasping at straws, he said the only thing he remembered.
"Have a safe journey,"
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Without knowing why, the urge to write bit him, an unshakable itch that he felt in his bones, even as the other left. Despite never having written much before, the words came out on paper like trails of splattered blood, in brash, bold strokes of blue and gold. Yet, there was something that seemed to quaver in his handwriting, a hesitance that he couldn't quite place, couldn't quite figure. It was almost like it belonged there, though it shouldn't have. He loved Georgia, didn't he? He did, so the words on the paper should ring true. But nothing on parchment echoed a glimmer of that beyond a sliver of what should have been.
"Georgia, wrap me up in all your," Khabkhleun sang softly, strumming the strings of the guitar as he read off the words he'd scrawled on the piece of paper. The melody brushed against his ears like rough sandpaper, as if trying to wear something in him down. Something about that line echoed oddity in his heart. The words limped off his mouth, dancing in the periphery of his vision, ringing as false as it did true-
"I want you, in my arms. Oh, let me hold you," the image of someone in his arms swarmed his mind, but they looked nothing like Georgia. Instead, a boy took her place, and something about the song seemed off. The way the song felt reverbated in the deep tresses of his soul, deeper than one could see, but shallower than the heart could find. But the words rang hollow in thoughts of the girl he loved, or so he thought.
"I'll never let you go again like I did." Those words whispered true, but he'd never done that before. At least, not to Georgia. Still, his fingers continued storming, the words flowing out of him in a shaky, unsteady stream. "Oh, I used to say,"
His eyes shuttered close as the words left his lips, as soft as a whisper in the wind,"I would never fall in love again until I found her," at that, he paused. The words fit, but they fit his mind, not his heart. Like he was prompted, thrust into inexplicable feelings but he was truly looking at something else. Someone else, if that meant anything at all. Maybe it did,maybe it didn't. Who knew? The world was a paradox of its own.
At least, that's what Khabkhleun told himself, despite the gnawing feeling that was laden in his bones, a grappling hunger that ripped through his sinews, as if he were ravenous, rapturous. Only to be consumed inside. His love for Georgia was like a puzzle missing a few pieces. No matter how you put it, it would never be complete, never be what his soul yearned, craved for.
But he never realised it wasn't that, but because he'd been looking at the wrong puzzle picture. However he put it, the looping maze of his heart would lead back to one place, and one place only. It didn't matter how much he tried convincing himself it was her, the heart knew it's pieces, as did the soul.
Deceive your heart, and you'll only end up deluding yourself.
There was no in-between. Not in matters of the heart. It was a complicatedly simple question of whether you could see clearly or not. Whether you could feel clearly, if you felt anything at all. A matter of recognising, a rare skill some were born with, another that others acquired in the long marathon named life. Life wasn't a race, like many believe it to be. Everyone prodded along at different speeds, running along different routes. Sometimes that meant you lost the people who'd once been with you, but there was the beauty of love. Love, true love had next to nothing to do with physical distance. Of course, it mattered, but someone beside you on the Path of Hearts would matter more than a stranger standing next to you, no matter how close you were. That was the resounding terror and hushed beauty of Forelsket, to love something more than you were prepared for. In a reverie, Khabkhleun wondered how it felt, something ineffable in his mind. Part of him whispered that he did know, the words barely sitting at the back of his tongue.
"I said I would never fall unless it's you I fall into," the word shivered at the tip of his tongue, on its descent into the unknown, a simple spike in the mass of the unearthed, buried iceberg of his Forelsket, oneirataxia but a faraway dream. The image in his mind switched in his epiphany, the rosy-cheeked boy in the canvas of his mind as clear as the fragile beauty of stained glass windows in the night, illuminated by dim light, that made it glow in the dark.
Something about the way Daonuea absquatulated, dragging his heart away with him in those mischievous brown eyes of his, the curl of his lips a fallacy of Khleun's. He felt lost in his presence, like a boat in the middle of a sea, with nothing but an anchor holding him down, the moon and the ocean as his companion. A wayfarer, of sorts. He wondered where Daonuea would be now.
On his flight to Germany, undoubtedly… but some part of his mind couldn't help but wonder.
What if I'd realised earlier? If I'd managed to get there on time, to run to him…
Will I ever get a second chance?
I love Daonuea. Not Georgia.
Shortly after, Khleun and Gia went their separate ways, but remained as friends. In the year Daonuea and Khabkhleun were apart, Khleun found that his hands strayed closer and closer to the guitar, like a moth haplessly drawn to flame, the lyrics emblazoned across his heart.
"I was lost within the darkness, but then I found him," the words fit better on his tongue, a silent prayer to the moon listening from above. In his mind's eye, he was met with a dim, winding path. It smelled of winding roses, of sandalwood. Of blossoms that had long since grown and withered, as all things did in the brash cruelty of time. It was difficult to navigate his way, with only the tiny sliver of the moon dimly illuminating the path before him. Then his eyes fell upon the stars, and he remembered something his mother had once said, whispering into his ear; “Let the stars be your guide.”
A year passed quickly, and his heart still beat in hopes that his North Star would return to him. Letting the sounds of the waves crash over him he found himself in ataraxia, though the gaping wound in his heart was still open, waiting for its owner to fill it up. He closed his eyes, taking small breaths, and looked back up at the sky, letting the stars guide him back to Daonuea, where he would be safe. Where he would be home.
That night, the moon smiled, gazing upon a petite but determined figure with inky black hair, and ebony eyes. Child of Oceans, it thought, let my stars be your friends, let my light be your strength. This is my gift to you.
And there it was.
The first day back in college, he clasped his eyes on him again, and this time, Khleun wore that he'd never be letting go again. Without thinking, he started humming again.
"I found you…Daonuea."
The two of them pulled closer to one another, like a satellite drawn to a planet only neither could tell which was which. All they recognised was the love that bloomed in their hearts, the unshakable feeling of ecstasy when they looked at one another, the comfort they felt knowing the other was around. It was as if they were in Elysium, only Elysium wasn't a place but a person. A boy. A lover. Somehow, Khabkhleun found them on the beach, staring into the endless expanse of the sky, set aflame with stars and countless fireflies, the brightest star reminding him of the stone that glinted around his neck, and the charm that hung around the other's. He loved the feeling of Nuea's head on his shoulder, his soft brown tresses tickling his skin. Once again, he craved for his guitar, the feel of strings reverberating beneath his fingers, a familiar tune capturing his mind. "Nuea?"
Chocolate eyes looked up in surprise from where they were, a dazed look of confusion in his eyes, resembling the sleepy look of a kitten. Khleun found it adorable. Then again, he found almost everything about his boyfriend adorable, but he couldn't help it- there was so much to adore. "Mm?"
He smiled softly, a soft match flickering in his heart. "I've something for you,"
Holding his gaze, he started singing. This time, the words felt perfect in his mouth, dancing happily around.
"Daonuea, pulled me in," a small smile crossed the other's face hearing that, his chocolate eyes softening at that.
"I asked to love him, once again," I always did, I just didn't realise on time.
"You fell, I caught you," the memory played in both their minds, like a broken record. Nuea relished the feel of being in Khabkhleun's arms again, as terrifying as it'd been. Wrapped up in his embrace made it worthwhile, he thought. Just…hopefully not fall off a stage again. But hugging him was a yes, always a yes.
"I'll never let you go again like I did," Never again, both of them thought. As great as it was that both of them figured out what they wanted, what they needed, in the quiet space, it was anguish for both of them, hearts so close yet so far away.
"Oh, I used to say, I would never fall in love again until I found him," thank the moon I did. The Red string of Fate pulled them back together, no matter how far they stretched it. Neither could imagine falling in love with someone else, not when their souls beat in synchrony, like a well-oiled machine, despite all that had happened before and between them. Their heartbeats were a haphazard melody, in perfect harmony tracing their ears, their minds, against the susurration of the Night, of the languid waves that crashed nearby, kissing their feet.
"I said I would never fall unless it's you I fall into," stars seemed to burn in Nuea's eyes, unshakable and endearing, like flames that couldn't be extinguished, not in the dark. They were as crystalline and glassine as the onyx portal of the sky, as if they cradled a world in their hands, rocking it slowly. Singing to it, kissing his forehead tenderly.
"I was lost within the darkness, but then I found him," I was bumbling in the dark before you came along. I had no idea how it felt to be in love, Nuea. I had no clue. I told you before, didn't I? I'm clueless when it comes to love. I can rarely tell between feelings, between whims and fancies and the feelings that run deep under. Thank you for teaching me, for letting me find myself. The grin on Khleun's face widened, his eyes carrying unmarred depths, like the ocean he was named for, a deeper night teal running against decadent sea-glass green, running against the obstacles that blocked it, wearing them down slowly.
"I found you." And that's all that matters to me, other than having you next to me. The words echoed through his mind. (Whose?) Daonuea could have sworn that every line was etched into his heart. It echoed through the cavernous depths of his calcite heart, blood trickling down like the dew that dripped of icicles. Only there was now someone standing under it looking at him with star-lit eyes.
Without knowing why, the words left Nuea's lips, like a soft kiss in the middle of a garden at first spring, the same way they'd kissed on their first date. Every line of the song screamed KhleunNuea, and Khabkhleun couldn't believe he hadn't realized it earlier. For once, it wasn't the right person and wrong time, but wrong person and bad timing. Now that he had what he craved so desperately, he couldn't be more content. Nuea didn't think he could ever ask for more. He adored the small kisses and whispered "I love yous," the way every brush of skin felt like fire. Khleun loved the sound of Nuea's voice, the way his cheeks turned pink when he heard his nickname, everything about him made him crazy. In a good way, of course. Love had a habit of doing that. Love begets insanity, though of course there were different kinds. But Khleun could swear he was fanatical, his love for Daonuea swaying softly like a hammock in the wind on a hot summer day, something that calmed him as much as it thrilled him, made him feel warm and safe. To Daonuea, it was like a constellation in the sky one that guided him home, that brought him away and back to wherever he started, that followed him no matter where he went.
A warm arm wrapped around Nuea's waist as the lyrics tumbled past lips, ringing true, as it pulled them closer.
"I would never fall in love again until I found him,"
"I said I would never fall unless it's you I fall into,"
"I was lost within the darkness, but then I found him,"
"I found you."
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A/N: 2350 words! (Approximately, anyways) not sure if anyone will read this, but uhm...new chapter?the idea for this has been stuck in my head for a while, but I'm not sure how it actually is....words seem funny. I'll come back to this later, I guess....I'm not entirely convinced this was a good idea... DBDavenport8. chocolatewithtea. danity2016 JayBmemeleaderrrr. Thank you guys so much for the support, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter! ❤️ Hugs?