The wave that knocked me down first, surprised me. The one that hit me in the face scared me. But the worst was when I couldn't get back up to the air. I kept trying but the waves kept pushing me under. I was kicking and trying to go up. Eventually, I just got too tired and everything just went black.
It stayed black. I tried opening my eyes, but all around me was black and dark. It wasn't scary, really, but it was lonely. Mom and Dad weren't here. Neither were PopPop or Granny. No one. I kept trying to find my way out of the dark but there wasn't even anything to tell me which way was out. I looked up, down, every way. It was just total darkness and total silence. Well, obviously.
Every once in a while, I'd see a flash of light or colour. But always just outside my field of vision. Like, in my peripheral vision. Colour and light just off to the side.
One time I thought I saw a person in front of me. Very far away. I tried to move towards them. But the closer I got, they moved far away again. They had long hair. Blonde, I think. Like my mom.
I tried running towards them. They kept moving. I sat down and cried. Why couldn't I catch up? Where was I? Why was it so dark?
I say I sat down, but that's not exactly right. There was no up or down. I guess it was more like floating in a sitting position.
Every once in a while, I'd see images. Like, a slide show. Pictures of Mom and Dad, the dogs, Granny and PopPop, my birth mom, my birth dad (that scared me). Sometimes it just stayed dark.
I kept moving. Walking, I guess. Sort of. Maybe eventually I'd find a door or a window or something that could tell me where I was and how to get out. It was frustrating.
It was also really tiring. I couldn't sleep here. Every time I tried to sleep, something would punch me awake. And I mean punch. Right in my chest. It did not feel good. Worse, I couldn't see what, or who, was punching me.
Usually I just floated/walked along, trying to figure out where I was.
Eventually, I saw a really bright light and headed
towards it. It was warm and calming. It was where I needed to go. So I went.