Hello everyone!!! How are you all? :) Well. I'm in an undescribable mood right now, which tends to allow my creative juices to flow freely. Like a waterfall! Oh. Did I mention that it's raining here? Like pouring rain? It is! Yup. Well. This chapter and the next one were originally gonna be one chapter, but I decided to break it into two chapters. This chapter is a flashback of Veronica's life back in Springcreek. It reveals some stuff about her past that will be integral to the story. I'd tell you about the next chapter but I figure it's time that I actually let you guys read the chapter so as always, vote and comment and ENJOY!! :) -TayCee
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Being homesick sucks so freaking much, it's practically indescribable. I had struggled so hard to keep myself from pulling out my old photo journals, but I surrendered as soon as I walked through the door of my loft after my third day of work. I'd been in a nostalgic mood all day so it was only fitting that I would start to feel homesick again. But there I was, curled up on my makeshift sofa with a cup of hot lemon tea, flipping through my thickest photo journal and slipping in and out of my memories.
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"Ronnie! Ready or not, here I come!" Kyle yelled from my house's huge wrap-around porch. I shimmied further up the large magnolia tree that was planted along the winding, dirt driveway. I was completely confident that Kyle wouldn't be able to find me; not only because he couldn't climb trees, but Kyle never thought to look in the most obvious of places. I smiled to myself at my ingenuity. For a seven year old, I thought I was quite brilliant.
I surveyed the ground below me just in case Kyle did happen to figure out where I was. Seeing that he was nowhere near the tree, I sat contentedly and looked up through the leaves at the expansive aquamarine sky above me. A light breeze passed through the trees, gently tugging at random strands of my hair and bringing with it the soft scents of freshly bloomed honeysuckles. I stayed like this for I don't know how long; and soon enough, I drifted off to a peaceful afternoon nap.
"Ronnie! Where are you?! Ronnie!" I heard Kyle's frantic voice shout from nearby. I groggily opened my eyes, welcomed by the parting sun as it descended toward the horizon. I scratched my head, wondering how I'd managed to fall asleep in the magnolia tree. "Ronnie!" Kyle's voice cried out. I could tell that he was close to tears.
"I'm right here, Kyle," I answered as a climbed out of the tree. With not even half a foot on the ground, Kyle snatched me into his arms and bawled like a newborn. I squeezed him in return and patted his back. Between the two of us, I had always been the more emotionally stable one. But I was fine with that. I mean, weren't all girls like that? I slithered out of his death-grip on me and walked up the steps of the porch with Kyle in tow. "Momma?" I called as I walked into the house.
"I'm in the kitchen, Marie," Momma's voice responded. I dragged Kyle into the kitchen where I saw my mother busily, yet gracefully, bustling away at preparing our dinner. "Hey there, sweeties," she said as she swooped down to plant a quick kiss on both of our foreheads. "Who won this time?"
"Me!" I proudly proclaimed as I did my victory dance. Momma chuckled and ruffled my hair as she stirred the collard greens.
"Only 'cause I you climbed the magnolia tree!" Kyle huffed, pouting his lips and crossing his arms.
Momma placed the wooden spoon aside and kneeled down to where she was on eye-level with us. "Is that so?" Kyle nodded vigorously. Momma turned toward me and said, "Now Marie. You know that Kyle can't climb the tree and while it was clever of you to hide there, next time you should be a tad more considerate and hide somewhere just as clever, but more accessible for Kyle. Okay?"
"But Momma! All's fair in hide-and-go-seek!" I protested.
"There are rules in the game that must be abided by, dear. How would you like it if Kyle went and hid in the holly bushes, where you wouldn't be able to get him?" she asked. I opened my mouth to retort, but I found that I had no comeback. I despised going into the holly bushes; the leaves were always so prickly and sharp. Momma had won yet again. I nodded my head in surrender. Kyle beamed with sheer adoration at my mother and triumph. "Now go on and clean up; dinner will be ready in a few." I stalked out of the kitchen, with Kyle proudly walking behind me.
"I still won today," I told him before I shut the bathroom door on his face.
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"Ronnie, why do you climb up this tree?" Kyle asked as his head appeared among the long limbs of the magnolia tree.
I looked up from my book and smiled. "Looks like your rock climbing lessons have finally paid off, Kylie," I teased. The wind stirred up another breeze which blew my hair around my face. I brushed the strands back into place and continued reading.
He rolled his eyes and settled on the limb next to mine. "Why do you call me that?" he asked.
"Call you what? Kylie?" I asked in return. He nodded. "Oh. Well, because you call me Ronnie. I figured that if you called me a guy name, I'd call you a girl name."
"Oh," he said simply.
"Why? Is your fifteen-year-old manly pride suffering, Kylie?" I teased, poking my tongue out and winking.
"Not at all, Ronnie," he replied as he ran his fingers through his flaxen hair. I laughed and shook my head as I reopened my book to begin reading again.
He shifted so he was closer to me. My breath caught in my chest and my heart began to pound as a tingly sensation spread through me. What the crap? I thought in bewilderment. "What are you reading anyway?" he asked softly, drawing me back out of the book.
I huffed in frustration at the constant breezes that kept blowing the pages of my book, and at the tingles that racked through me. "Pride and Prejudice," I answered, trying to find my page.
"That is such a chick book!" he exclaimed in disbelief.
I closed my book, leveling my stare at him as I sarcastically noted, "Believe it or not, but I do happen to be a girl."
"Well dang. Don't be so touchy feely about it," he said returning my stare in equal measure with his deep honey colored eyes.
I felt my temper rise at his remark. I tried to reason with myself that Kyle was my best friend, not any of the snotty-nosed girls at school that constantly followed me around like harpies, delivering cruel comments at anything and everything about me. I shifted on my limb and said, "No one's being touchy feely about anything. You asked, I answered. Simple as that." I tucked the book safely in my jacket's inner pocket and I descended out of the tree.
"She's running out again!" Kyle sang after me. I stopped in my tracks and turned to see him leisurely reclining against the trunk, a smug smile on his face. He'd used some of my favorite lyrics against me. Not to mention that said lyrics belonged to the song that basically described me. I had half a mind to kick his rear end all the way to the stratosphere but I decided against it. I squared my shoulders and continued walking away. "Ah! See how she flees!" he mocked.
My temper began to boil, but I kept on walking. Oh no, he wouldn't get the satisfaction of seeing my composure crack. If there was one thing about me that people found so irritating, it'd be my stubbornness. Momma and Daddy always remarked that I could make even an old, cantankerous donkey look patient. I heard his footsteps behind me, which made me walk faster. I knew that he'd be able to easily catch up with me, seeing as how his strides were longer than mine.
"Slow down, will you?" he asked, catching my hand in his.
I spun around to face him, sheer incredulity covering my face. I looked him over, not knowing what to say or what to do. I opened my mouth, only to shut it quickly. I shook my head and turned again.
He spun me around, yanking me into a hug. "I'm sorry if I upset you," he murmured in my ear. I squirmed in his embrace, but he held onto me tighter. "Don't deny it, Veronica Marie. I know you're mad and that's why I'm apologizing. So please, just drop your stubbornness and accept my apology?" Not being able to do much else, I nodded my head. He loosened his grip on me slightly, still holding onto me.
"Let me go," I mumbled into his shirt, suddenly overcome with emotion at the sincerity of his apology. It was stupid of me to have almost lost my temper at him, but I couldn't help it. It was my defense mechanism against the cruel remarks that faced daily at school. It was how I coped with the constant attacks on my self-esteem. Without it, I wouldn't be strong enough to let most of the jibes and insults roll off my back. Without it, I wouldn't be strong enough to show my face for fear of the humiliation and pain. Without it, I...
I broke down completely. Sobs of pent up fear and pain rushed out of me. I felt my knees buckle but Kyle didn't let me fall. I slumped into him, burying my head in his chest and cried my heart and soul out. Not once did Kyle flinch away or tense up or move away. He just stood there, holding me tightly and rubbing my back while humming a soft lullaby. Kyle was my rock: dependable, loyal, and caring. I knew that I could count on him, no matter what, to be there for me in any way he could. And that was why I loved him...
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I dashed down the empty hallway, tears freely flowing out of my eyes. I didn't know where exactly I was headed, but I had to get far away from this hell-hole high school. Blinded by tears and overcome with pent-up emotion, it was safe to say that I was teetering on the edge of a steep cliff. In the distance, I heard someone shouting my name, but I kept on running. I careened into the double doors at the front entrance of the school, bursting through them. I tripped over something and landed hard on the pavement; I picked myself up quickly and kept on running. All the while, I still heard someone shouting my name.
I don't know how long I had run, but I found myself in the magnolia orchard just outside of town. I didn't hesitate to climb up the tallest tree in the orchard. At the very top of the tree, I let everything go. Tears flooded my eyes as my chest constricted to prepare for the upheaval of the body-wracking sobs soon to come. And come they did. "Why me?" I moaned in agony. "Why is it always me?" I doubled over in pain, suffering, misery, and despair as the incessant tears and sobs violently freed themselves.
"Veronica?" the distant voice whispered. I snapped my head upward to search for the voice's source. Though my eyes were swollen from the tears, I could still tell who the unmistakable figure that was crouched next to me was.
"Kyle..." I said, my voice cracking. Kyle snatched me into his arms, the one place on God's green Earth that I longed to be. He rocked back and forth, gently rubbing circles in the small of my back. I cried into him for at least an hour, but not once did he complain. I dried my eyes and sniffled, signaling to him that I was done.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he murmured. I remained still, trying to decide whether I should tell him everything.
For six years, beginning when I was eleven, I had never told anyone about how I had been bullied in every single way almost each and every day at school. It was always my burden to carry, no one else's. But here he was, a way to ease some of the burden. I opened my mouth to speak, but fear caused me to choke up as I remembered Allie's earlier threat: "If you ruin my chances at Kyle, I will make your life a bigger hell than it already is." My heart rate accelerated as I searched Kyle's eyes, trying to determine if I should tell him.
I took a calming breath and said slowly, "If I tell you, you have to promise me that you won't tell another living soul. No one at all."
He looked at me for a long moment before he replied, "I swear on everyone I love."
I turned my head away from him and took a few steadying breaths. "Do you remember the first day of middle school? How excited we were?" He nodded in response. "Well. Do you also remember the second week of sixth grade, when I was sick?" I did air quotations around "sick."
"Yes," he answered, slightly confused.
"Well. I wasn't sick. At least not like in the usual way. I was sick to my stomach with fear and anxiety." I turned toward him, confusion was evident over his face. "You see, I've never told this to anyone. So sorry if I seem to be beating around the bush so much," I explained. He nodded his hand and squeezed me gently, urging me to go on. "Ever since the second week of sixth grade and even to today, I-" I trailed off, my chest constricting painfully in dread of the words to come from out of my mouth. "For six years, I have been physically, mentally, and verbally bullied," I said quietly, my voice just above a whisper.
Kyle tensed immediately, causing me to look at him. His honey colored eyes were black with fury. A muscle in his jawline twitched, a tell-tale sign that he was beyond pissed. "By who?" he forced out through clenched teeth.
"Who do you think?" I whispered bitterly. He looked down into my eyes, boring into them. I looked away, unable to hold his intense gaze.
"Allie," he stated coldly.
Panic spread through me at the way he forced her name out. "You can't tell anyone!" I exclaimed, throwing caution to the wind. "You promised me! You swore it!"
Kyle's hard expression softened immediately and he hugged me closer to him. "You know that I'd never go back on my word, Ronnie," he murmured into my hair. He pulled back a little and said, "But from now on, you're not to leave my sight. Now that I know what's been happening, I'm going to make sure that you're covered. Understand?" I nodded. He sighed and pulled me back into him. "I just can't believe that I never figured this out. All these years... I am so sorry Veronica Marie. I really am. I should've known better... I should've known..."
I placed my hand on his chest and pushed myself back so I could look him in the eyes. "It's not your fault, Kyle. You know that and I know that. How could you have possibly figured this out when I covered up everything all the time?"
He narrowed his eyes and asked, "What do you mean you covered up everything?" Crap. I revealed more than I wanted to. I kept silent. "Tell me. Now."
I bit my lip. "Fine. But first, we have to get out of this tree." He didn't hesitate to climb down and I grudgingly followed suit.
"Now tell me," he repeated. I looked off into the distance as I unzipped my jacket. His gasp painted the image of his reaction in my mind. I couldn't face him, so I closed my eyes. He gingerly ran his finger over my collarbone, tracing the cigarette-burned letters; I flinched away from the slight pain it caused. "When did they do this?" he forced out, barely controlling his temper.
"Today during lunch," I whispered, my eyes still closed. "They said that it'd always remind me of what I am..." I shuddered as I recalled Carrie and Karly's repeated chant of "Slut!" while Allie, cackling away, burned the word into my chest. I clenched my fist and bit my lip, willing the new tears I felt creeping up not to fall. A small flush of warmth spread along the center of the burns. Slowly, I opened my eyes to see Kyle's hand pressed gently on my collarbone.
"I just..." he began but trailed off, closing his eyes and lowering his head. I placed my hand on top of his and curled my fingers around his, silently giving him the reassurance he seemed to need. He shook his head as if to clear away any indecision, reopening his eyes to reveal fiery golden orbs full of determination. "Look. I know that this is probably the last thing you want to do, but we have to report this to the police."
I tensed immediately, his words instilling a new sense of dread in me. My stomach lurched as his words fully hit me. "Re-re-report this? To the police?" I stumbled across the words. Fear and anxiety sprinted through my body as I imagined all the ramifications that exposing my secret would bring. A shiver passed through me as I took in a staggered breath.
"Yes," he affirmed with resounding bravado. "We have to. It's the only way to make all of this," he pressed his finger on the 'S' for emphasis,"go away forever." My knees buckled, but he caught me before I could fall an inch. I stayed silent for a few moments, not knowing what to think or say. "Ronnie," he pleaded, "please say something."
"No," I whispered.
"Veronica-"
"No!" I shouted. I shoved away from him and stalked back to the trunk of the tree.
"Please Ronnie, just hear-"
"This isn't your life that we're talking about! This is mine! For six years I have dealt with this alone and I have managed to handle it just fine. And now you want to come waltzing in like a hero and turn my world upside down! No! I won't let you! I can handle this, Kyle! I don't need nor want to go running off to the police just because three bitches have made my life hell!"
"And what if they go too far!" Kyle yelled. "Huh? Then what? What if they decide to shove you down the back hallway stairs, where no one ever goes? What if they do that and you fracture your spine, leaving you completely paralyzed for life? And that's if someone finds you soon enough!"
I stared at him in a wide-eyed stupor as his words finally began to rationalize themselves in my mind. He roughly shoved a hand through his hair, a sure-fire sign he was beyond mad. "Listen, Ronnie," he said softly as he stepped toward me, "I know that you don't want to do this, but it's the only way to end everything. They crossed the line the first day they bullied you, but this," he motioned at the burns, "goes against the law. They need to be stopped and you deserve justice for all that they did to you. I promise you that I'll be right there beside you through everything."
I bit my lip, considering all the aspects of his proposal. In the end, I realized that I trusted Kyle and that's all that mattered. His word was like contract that was set in stone and signed in blood. After a quick prayer, I laid my head on his chest and murmured, "Okay."