Once you return back to the tower a few hours later, you're taken aback by the loud music playing and the amount of people in your home. When did Tony decide throwing a party was a good idea. And why hadn't you been told about it. You walk inside sweaty and tired from the mission, everyone dressed in fancy clothes and the smell of alcohol lingers everywhere. After messing up the mission, giving SHIELDS enemies the scepter you weren't really in a party mood anyway.
"Y/n you made it!" Natasha calls out, running to you in a tight black dress.. she looks amazing.. she wraps her hands around you, embracing you. She steps away looking you up and down. "You're all sweaty.. and not dressed"
"Well I wasn't told there'd be a party waiting for me when I got home" you scoff. "What's going on here?" You question.
"Happys birthday party?" She questions as if you should have known that.
You stare at her with a big question mark glued on your face.
"Starks been talking about it for the past month?"
You're still not following.
"Let's go" she sighs, dragging you past all the people into your bedroom.
She looks through your closet for minutes, throwing clothes onto the floor.
"If he didn't tell me anything.. maybe he doesn't want me there.." you sigh. Sitting silently on the bedside.
"Fuck him" she smirks.. "Do you own a dress?" She scoffs.
"Yes?" You say confused.
"One that's not from the 1940's?"
You take a second to think about it.
"I'll take that as a no" she chuckles.
Then she pulls out a beautiful red slip dress with an open back. Your heart skips a beat as she throws it to you.
"I can't wear that" you say quickly.
"Why not?" She pouts.
"I just can't okay" you say angrily.
"What's with the dress?" She asks suspiciously.
"It was a gift from.. from Tony" you sigh. "He gave it to me on our first date, I've never worn it since we broke up" you admit.
"Well now is the perfect occasion, it's vintage" she grins.
You never expected Natasha to be so into fashion, but then again she probably wasn't, you were just a lost cause when it came to it.
"Won't it be weird.. Tony hates me enough already, wearing that dress is like pouring salt in the wound" you sigh sadly.
"Or it'll be statement that he doesn't control what you do" she smirks.
You wish it was true, that he doesn't bother you. Yet you can't get him out of you head.
"Fine I'll wear it" you scoff as you take the dress.
You quickly change into it, It still slips on so easily. You had forgotten just how beautiful it was on you. You grab a pair of black stilettos, and a classic red lip.
"Oh my god y/n" Nat smiles. "You look hot, like 90s Winona Ryder hot" She grabs your hand twirling you around.
"I feel hot" you say excitedly.
Suddenly you couldn't wait to get out there, dance the night away with Natasha.
"Now go be the girl boss I know and love you for" she chuckles as she kisses you on the cheek.
You take a deep breath, opening up the door. As soon as you walk down the staircase, you feel as all eyes are glued on you. They probably aren't but it feels so empowering.
You look around, searching for faces in the crowd you know, when you spot Tony and Steve. They're both looking at you in complete shock. Steve is probably because he's never seen you in a dress like this. And Tony is because he has seen you in a dress like this, right before he tore it off you.
"All eyes are on you" Natasha whispers.
She grabs your hand as you walk to the bar grabbing yourself a cocktail before heading to the dance floor. You've never felt so free and careless.
"Can i steal her for moment"
You turn around and see Steve standing in front of you. Natasha looks at you with a satisfied smile.
"She's all yours" she chuckles as she walks away. Winking subtly at you.
"Captain"
"Agent"
You both chuckle nervously.
"I know I'm about seventy years too late, but would you like to dance?" He asks softly.
"Better late than never right" you smirk. Grabbing his hand and placing it on your waist.
"You'll still have to teach me, I wouldn't want to step on your toes"
"I'm sure you'll do just fine Steve"
You begin moving to the music, as he stand awkwardly trying to follow the Rhythm, you place your hand on his hips, trying to loose him up a little. And soon enough he melts into your touch, letting his body move for him.
"See you're a natural" you smile.
You let your hands run up to his neck, dancing against him.
"This isn't exactly how I thought I'd be dancing with you" he admits, still feeling a little self conscious.
"Alright follow me" you smile.
You grab his hand walking out to the balcony. It's a little chilly outside, but the view over the city makes it worth it. It's never dark in the city, the thousand of lights from cars and skyscrapers lights up everything. But nothing compares to watching the stars shining on the night sky.
"Alright dance with me"
"Here?" Steve chuckles nervously. "There's no music"
You start humming I'll never smile again. As you place your hands around his neck, waiting for him to place his on your waist.
"Come on"
"I don't really know what to do" Steve admits.
You smile, as you show him exactly what to do, as you're swaying slowly back and forth, resting your head on his chest.
"The last thing I thought about that night was that I'd never get to dance with you.. get to tell you how much I liked you" Steve explains.
You look up at him.
"I was to afraid to ask you out, you knew me when I was nothing, why should you want me"
You tighten your grip around his neck.
"I knew you when you were everything.. it was hard you know ...watching you loose that part of yourself just to please people" you say quietly.
"I just wanted to impress you" he admits.
"You didn't need to, I was already impressed by you"
"Really?"
You take a step closer towards him, feeling how his heart starts racing in his chest.
"Steve I was in love with you.. I waited for two years for you to just kiss me.. at one point I just got tired of waiting" you chuckle.
"Damn.. I'm always late aren't I?"
"Yeah, I guess you are" you say sadly.
He gently cups your face, leaning down as your lips touch. He kisses you slowly and affectionately, in a way you haven't been kissed before. You lean into the kiss.
"That was worth the wait" you chuckle.
"Yeah it really was" Steve smiles.
You stand in silence slow dancing, simply existing together.
"You've got to be kidding me" a voice hisses.
You look over and see Tony. He's really drunk. Barely standing on his own. He looks furious.
"Stark calm down" Steve says firmly, stepping away from you.
"I'm very calm" Tony murmurs. "You two really suit each other.. Always thinking the world revolves around you" he growls.
"Alright that's enough, you're drunk"
"Clearly you're not" Tony grins.
"Why don't you go to sleep" Steve says softly, resting his hand on Tony's shoulder.
"Keep your fucking hands off me" Tony yells, pushing him away. He looses his balance and falls to the ground.
You stand quietly not knowing what to say, you wish you had something smart to do, but you stand there frozen.
"Let's go" Steve says, trying to help him back on his feet.
"Don't fucking touch me, get out of my place" he yells angrily, struggling to get up.
"Do you ever shut up?" Steve yells. He's loosing his patience. "The world never revolves around me, it's always the Starks isn't it.. you're just like your father" Steve growls.
"I'm not my father" Tony hisses.
"Maybe not, but you both think everyone exists to serve you.."
"Excuse me?"
"That's right, you just want everything don't you.. nothings ever good enough for a Stark-"
That was it. You couldn't stand it anymore.
"Enough" you yell.
They both look at you surprised.
"Too far" you say to Steve.
"You're taking his side on this?" Steve asks angrily.
"I'm not taking any of your sides.. But you don't get to speak Ill of Howard, not when I'm around" you hiss.
The realization hits him.
"Howard did everything for you.. for me. You're both completely out of line, you're two grown men.. behave like it" you yell.
They both look embarrassed down at the ground.
"Tony you're going to bed now, and Steve just go okay" you sigh.
Walking to Tony helping him up from the ground, putting his arm around you shoulder carrying him inside.
"Y/n wait"
"We'll talk in the morning Steve" you say disappointed.
Tony mumbles drunken words all the way to his bed room. You take of his shirt and his belt and throws him onto the bed. Tugging him into bed. You sit beside him, stroking his hair to calm him down, as upset you are with him, it's all your fault. You're the reason his such a mess. Now you're left here to clean up the wrecks.
"Where am I?" Tony mumbles as he tries to sit up.
"You're in your bed"
"Why are you in my bed?" He asks looking up at you. "Did we fuck?"
"No we didnt" you chuckle, you're not even surprised he doesn't remember what just happened, he's far from just drunk.
"Are we going to?" He smirks.
"No" you say softly, pushing him back down onto the bed.
"I'm tired" Tony sighs.
"I know you are, just get some sleep" you get up to leave, but he grabs your hand.
"Please stay with me" he pleads.
"Okay" you sigh, as you crawl into bed with him. Letting him rest against your chest. "I'm not going anywhere"
"Thank you"
You watch as his body gets more and more heavy. Drifting in and out of sleep.
"Just close your eyes, you're okay Tony" you whisper softly.
"You're so good to me" he says, snuggling up against you.
"I don't think I am.."
"You are"
You feel your heart skip a beat. Why is he like this, it's so damn difficult to be mad at him.
"Alright, just don't talk. Go to sleep you'll need it."
"I'm sorry I'm not a good person y/n" he says looking up at you.
"That's okay, I'm not really that great either" you grin.
Tony turns around to look at you, he cups your face.
"I think you're pretty great"
"Thank you" you chuckle.
"Hot and great" he mumbles.
"Tony shut up you're drunk" you scoff.
"I wish you looked at me the way you look at him.. I've wanted to dance with you all night." Tony whispers, but you hear him loud and clear.
"Why didn't you?" You ask.
"I can't be around you.. You make me weak"
"Tony" you sigh deeply.
"I've wanted to kiss you ever since i saw you again" he says as he closes his eyes. "More importantly I know I don't want to see you dancing with anyone else"
"Why do you care who I dance with all of the sudden..?" You ask hesitantly "Yesterday you hated me"
"I hate you Because I never stopped loving you.. I hate that I can't stop thinking about you" he mumbles as he drifts of to sleep.
"Tony?" You whisper trying to wake him up
"Tony?"
You look at him, as a wave of sadness crashes over you.
"I wish you were sober when you said that" you whisper, quietly getting out of bed. Stumbling into the living room.
You grab a bottle of vodka pouring yourself a shot.. you couldn't be in your own head right now. If everyone else got to drink away their emotions so do you.
Then another.
And another.
Then everything is a blur from there.
It didn't help you, not in the slightest, it only made the headache ten times worse. Alcohols never the solution but it gives you a break from thinking.You take the bottle with you, as you make your way down to your room. But instead of walking through the door, you keep on going till you're outside his room. Struggling to open up the door, You trip over the doorframe. The room is spinning around you, or maybe it's just you.
"Y/n?" Loki questions.
"Help mme up" you murmur, popping the p loudly.
Loki scoffs, lifting you up from the ground. Carrying you to the couch. Your head feels extremely heavy as you let it fall onto his shoulder.
"You smell like alcohol" Lokis sighs.
"You sme- smell like you" you chuckle, as you hiccup.
"I was worried about you, I thought I had I hurt you. And then you don't even come down here and let me know you're alright. You can't just do that" he says with anger in his voice.
"I'm here now" you stammer.
"You're drunk"
"You're no fun" you scoff.
"I'm no fun?" He asks offended.
"You're boring" you pout.
"Alright I'm boring"
Loki tightens his grip on you, rocking you back and forth. As your breath becomes heavier.
"I don't feel so good Lo" you say quietly in between breaths.
"I know darling, I've got you" he whispers.
"Loki?"
"Yeah?"
"Am I selfish?" You ask, looking up at him.
"Why would you think that?" He asks softly.
"I think I'm a bad person, and now everyone hates me" you sob quietly.
Loki dries away your tears. "I don't hate you"
"You don't?" You hiccup between the sobs.
"You're annoying, and you make me furious as times, but I could never hate you y/n" he admits.
He cups you face.
"I would never tell you this if I wasn't sure you wouldn't remember this tomorrow.. But there was a time when I really wanted to be good, and it was all because you made me better" Loki shares. "You're the most selfless person. I gave up after you disappeared, and now.. maybe I could become exactly what I wanted to become... what you always believed I could be"
You sit up quickly looking him directly in the eyes.
"Can I try something?" You ask.
"Sure"
You lean in kissing him, letting your lips melt together. When you feel that sharp pain in you temples, as the flashing images rushes over you. The palace, the crown.. dancing in the rain. A kingdom for you to rule together. Happiness, pleasure... love.
Loki pulls away from you, looking at you mortified.
"What did you do" he asks angrily.
"I saw your mind"
"Get out" Loki yells.
"No" You stay exactly where you are.
"I said get out" Loki screams.
He grabs you arm pulling you up from the couch, as you whine in pain. He flinches.
"I just wanted to see if I could feel you again" you whimper. "I just wanted to feel you again.. the real you"
Lokis gaze softens as he lets go of you. You lean towards him hoping to taste his lips again.. See the world he desires.
"You're drunk.. and I'm not kissing you when you're like this."
"Please Loki. I just want to feel better" you plead hanging onto his shirt.
"Y/n I'm not going to do anything to you while you're in this state. You can sleep in my bed I'll take the couch" he says gently.
"I just want you" you beg.
"No you don't.." he says sadly. "You want someone.. And darling I'm not just someone" he smirks.
Loki lifts you up, carrying you into his bedroom. You start taking of you dress, he quickly turns away, as you're sitting only in your panties, he searches through his closet, throwing you a shirt to sleep in. Then he tugs you into bed, but you grab onto his hand.
"Please.. just lay with me.." you plead.
He nods his head slowly, crawling into bed next to you. You fall asleep as soon as you head hits the pillow. Crawling on top of him.
"I love you y/n" he whispers to himself planting a kiss on your forehead. "I always will"