I'm becoming used to the fact that if ever Chris and I are out in LA or anywhere for that matter, people will always be taking pictures. The most recent is us taking Dodger for a walk, however the newest one that emerges along with a fake ass story is something that gives me incredible anxiety.
Chris Evans girlfriend sparks pregnancy speculation after fans spot 'bump'.
Now I've been looking at myself in the mirror all morning to see whether I need to lose weight, because I sure as hell am not expecting.
"Honestly Fleur, you're ok - we're already working on it to clear up the rumours". Britt tells me while on speakerphone to me. It doesn't help that Chris is off filming in another damn state while this is all unraveling. I've already had Lex and the others texting me wanting 'all the deets' when I come into the office on Monday.
"It's not that, it's the fact that they think it! Oh my god..." I groan and throw myself onto the bed.
"They will always be looking for unflattering pictures and angles to start content for their stories. Unfortunately this is the first time for you dealing with it".
"What? There's gonna be more!"
Britt sighs. "You're dating Chris. They're always gonna be out for whoever is on his arm - especially with his dating history". She mutters the last part to herself but I still hear her.
"Not helping Britt".
"His team and myself are dealing with it. You just try and relax. I'll tell him to call you once they've stopped for lunch".
They're currently in Georgia for filming for a month. The film is shorter as opposed to his Avengers ones so I know I'll see him sooner rather than later, but I'm still missing him already and it's only been a week.
Since the media attention has somewhat died down, I've been back living in my apartment. I do miss waking up next to Chris, but I know that with things how they are at the moment, and with the amount of filming he's doing - then I'm going to be seeing less of him. Christmas is coming up to and I'm clueless as to what I get a guy like him.
Dodger is so much easier. A chew toy here and a treat there and he's happy.
"Ok..." I sigh and we ring off
As promised, Chris calls when they're on their lunch break and sounds concerned. "You ok gorgeous?"
"Not really but I'll survive". I tell him as I curl up on my bed.
"It's just the way it is". He sighs. "Fucking paps, they're always looking for something to sell". I can tell he's just as annoyed by it as me, however he's used to this shit. I'm not. "Fleurie. It's ok, try not to get too upset". His voice now softens, calling me by the pet name that he's bestowed on me.
I swallow the lump in throat and try not to cry, but just by the way my voice is cracking and shaking? He knows I'm upset. "God, I wish you could come out here with me". He says.
We both know I can't. Work is full on currently and even though Adrienne would say yes, it would mean giving all my viewings to others and losing commissions.
"A few more weeks, I'll be ok". I try to look on the bright side.
"Are you sure?" He presses knowing full well that I'm just trying to make him feel better.
I wipe a few tears that have fallen and clear my throat. "Yeah...I'll be fine..."
In the background I can hear a woman's voice. "We're due back in a moment, also do you wanna grab a bite after we finish tonight?"
That's not Britt...
"Sure Jenny, be there in a minute - I need to get back to set". He tells me now. "Call you later?"
"Ok sure...love you..."
"Love you too". He says a little too rushed for my liking and we hang up.
I have never felt more alone than I do now, but I suppose I should have prepared myself a little more for what this was going to be like.
It's three more weeks Fleur, you can get by - stop being a stupid snivelling bitch and just put on your big girl pants. My mind yells.
I push all thoughts of the press and rumours to the back of my mind, getting on with some work and online shopping while waiting for Chris to call me once he's finished for that evening.
It never comes...