"Mike...we shouldn't be doing this."
Erwin sighed, breaking away from the kiss
"You wanted to forget about him. This was your idea." Mike said calmly, a frown tugging at the corner of his mouth
"I didn't mean like this..."
"Well,",Mike turned away, "I've never been closer to everything I've ever wanted."
"But I guess....",he walked up slowly to the desk, taking a swig from the liquor glass, "I'm happy as long as you are"
Mike flashed a sad smile.
All Erwin could mutter out was a quick sorry.
He got up and sat down at his desk.
Paperwork was the only other thing he thought ought to distract him.
When he first got the position of Commander he carefully examined every single thing he signed. Now, it wasn't like that. Everything was eighter a list of casualties or something the government is making him sign.
Who knows, one day he might accidentally sign away his soul.
Not that it would even matter. His soul is already stained, painted dark with the essence of his sins.
It was essentially worthless now. There were times when the commander wanted to sell his soul away just to escape this living hell.
If he didn't have ambition and dreams, he thought, he would've been long gone.
Mike exited the room. Not bearing to see the sight of the big strong Commander drowning in his own sorrow.
*TIMESKIP TO MORNING IG*
He walked into the dining hall.
Levi was sitting there unusually early.
"Levi? What brings you here this early?" He knew it was Levi's day off
"What do you want, Erwin? I thought you didn't wanna talk. After all, you did stand me up yesterday. I guess you did something to clear your mind?...Or rather...someone?" Levi sarcastically chuckled
"How-"
"Oh I don't know, Erwin. Next time you probably shouldn't leave the door unlocked. I knocked, but I guess you didn't hear me. You were busy, after all." Levi lied
"What i do is none of your concern, Levi. You tell me that frequently. After all, I don't pry into your little affair with Jeager, Levi." The way Erwin spat out his name like it was a hot potato only frustrated Levi even more
"So be it. Do as you please, Erwin." Levi retaliated, rolling Erwin's name off his tongue like it's spoiled.
That's not what Levi wanted to say. He didn't want Erwin to do as he pleased. He wanted Erwin all to himself.
It was a weird feeling, something he had never felt before.
As Erwin noticed that the smaller man's arms were wrapped in bandage, he immediately shifted the topic.
"Levi."
"Yeah? You change your-"
"Where'd you get these cuts." Erwin grabbed Levi's hand, examining his wrist
"Wh-"
"Where'd you get these cuts."
"Traning." he lied
"They weren't here the last time I saw you. When you came into my room."
"Oh? So you do remember ditching m-"
"Where did you get them."
"Well, I don't know. Maybe if you ring a little bell I'll come running like a Pavlov dog." Levi sarcastically snarled, shrugging exaggeratedly
"That's because you never tell me anything! For fucks sake Levi, do I have to order you to do everything? The only reason it happens is because you're so damn secretive!" Erwin squeezed the grip on Levi's arm, causing the wounds to reopen
Levi thought a lot about the day Erwin 'saved' him I court.
Levi believed he only spoke his mind.
Although Erwin rarely physically hurt him, Levi knew the things Erwin said were from the heart.
He spoke so matter-of-factly while degrading Levi. Like he was getting a kick out of it.
Whenever he refused an order from Erwin, that day would come into mind and his head would get clouded.
Whenever he did something that displeased Erwin, he felt his heart shrivel up like a candy wrapper.
"You're nothing but my dog, Levi. You must do anything I say."
He had one theory for a long time.
If his uncle Kenny was so devoted to Uri, following his every demand...
And Mikasa, an Ackerman, was so devoted to Eren...
The feelings he must be feeling are some sort of bond that runs in the blood. In the Ackerman bloodline.
He called it the Ackerbond.
He believed that Ackermans are simply tied to a person. A 'liege'of sorts.
He didn't know that those mutual feelings were something far greater.
"You asshole!" Levi pulled his arm away
"If you wanna be treated like a fucking dog, go fetch! If that's what it takes for you to stop being such a distrustful little-" Erwin stopped and looked at his arm
He was holding bloody bandages.
Levi ripping his arm away caused the bandages to stay in Erwin's tight grip.
Erwin looked at Levi's hand.
It was covered in dozens of long cuts, varying in size, around the wrists.
"Are you happy now, you stubborn motherfucker?" It was the first time in a while that Levi insulted Erwin from the bottom of his heart, so genuinely
His heart began to hurt.
"The damn Ackerbond."
If you asked a normal person, they would tell you right away that the feelings Levi felt were probably love.
Levi had never experienced love before. Not like that.
He had no way of knowing what those feelings he often felt were.
Levi walked back to his room, hiding his scars with his other hand to make sure nobody saw them.
He locked himself in
A few minutes later, knocking could be heard at the door.
"Levi? Are you in there? Please open the door."
"No"
"Levi, it's an order."
"There you go again with your fucking orders. I told you, I'm not a fucking dog. What if I don't obey? You gonna kill me? Fuck me? Huh, Erwin? You gonna spank me? You're not gonna do shit!" Levi laughed maniacally
"Levi, open the fucking door!"
Erwin was rarely one to curse
"Oh sorry, I couldn't quite hear you. Did you say something? Y'know, you really ought to stop mumbling!"
Erwin pulled out a skeleton key from his pocket, unlocking the door with ease and slamming it shut behind him.
"Did you forget that I'm the comma-"
On Levi's face was a look of shock
Erwin couldn't believe his eyes
Levi was sitting on the floor, pocket knife in hand, carving something into his thigh.
The words "slave" were clearly carved , Levi going over them to add depth
"Levi, what in God's name are you doing-"
"So you come in unannounced, and now you're displeased at the sight? For fucks sake Erwin make up your min-" Levi stood up
Erwin charged in and hugged him
"What the hell?" Levi whispered
"Why, Levi?", Erwin said with a shaky voice, "why did you do this to yourself?"
Levi couldn't believe what he was seeing.
A/N
I think this may be one of the last chapters??
I'm extremely thankful for everyone that's been consistently reading this story so far (if you are, feel free to say hi!)
But yeah, thank you all for reading and I hope you check out my other fanfics
As always, if you liked this chapter, please vote <3 it really does help!!
(Update: no longer 1st in Erwinxlevi :(, but were second in Levixerwin!)