cindy didn't know how to start it off. even though she wanted to be cautious and not reveal any personal feelings she locked within, she wanted it to be heard or just written down.
it wasn't like anyone was going to flip through this book, she was going to hide it somewhere extremely discreet. she wanted all these annoying feelings to be at least compressed.
cindy calmed herself down, picked up a pen filled with ink and started spreading the ink around with alphabets that made coherent sentences.
the time passed by, the clock ticked, but the silence of her world was more sound than anything surrounding her. her thoughts and feelings carried and transferred onto white sheets with straight lines. her thoughts and feelings were not, in-fact, straight however.
the scribbling of the paper was like scratched music sheets, trying to play themselves. cindy's thoughts and feelings had no timeline, scrambled and jumbled like her crisis.
'feel like i'm in love? but am i? attraction? what is it defined as truly. my thoughts to nora always feel scrambled whenever i'm around her, does that mean i'm intimidated or being in love? but being in love doesn't sound right to me, but all the symptoms of being in love is there? what does that mean then? is this like those stupid romance books? i don't want to be in love. but love sounds special and surreal—'
'knock knock!' the sound of the door being pounded on had interrupted her train of thoughts and writing. cindy snapped out of it and looked down at the paper.
the big paragraph filled with her confusing feelings and thoughts, trapped in the book. she quickly scrambled to throw it somewhere conveniently and sprinted towards the door.
the strands of black hair spread unevenly across her straight hair. cracking the door open to reveal thais, waving at her.
"oh, thaisy waisy! is there anything you need?" cindy sweetly asked, joking as she pulled the strands of hair away from her face.
"yah, cindy since i'm technically staying here for a long while, can we talk about my career for a bit if that's okay?" thais asked.
cindy wiped her forehead off pretending there was sweat, she literally can't sweat anyway, nodding at thais' request.
"i'll come in a bit and honestly don't worry, come ask my anything you want!" cindy clapped her hands together,
"then does that mean i can ask if i can dump food in your toil-" cindy slammed the door shut.
"i did not mean everything thais. some things should never be said aloud," cindy shouted, huffing out as her hair strand went up.
thais' laugher was followed after the statement, with the sound of her feet walking away. she inhaled a deep breath before resuming to her work desk, she took one glance back at the door and grabbed her book that was thrown somewhere.
she flipped open the pages, thinking that maybe she should just sign up for therapy.
she stretches out and decides that her train of thought had been broken. her productiveness is over and she resumes back on her phone, but as soon as she clicks on instagram she regrets every person she's met in life.
a blurry picture of nora and tima together in a patio, with the fairy lights even though it was clear as day. the photo had them looking at each other and smiling, even though the figures were slightly blurring, she could tell what was happening.
the photo already reached 100k likes, with her old high school friends liking the post. cindy curiously looked at the comments, some with compliments like:
@/gsarasara: OH MY GOD YALLL 😍😍
@/janiedump: you're so pretty omg ^^~
but one comment caught her attention, surprisingly,
@/anita_101.x: why r u on my feed the fck is this
cindy was confused, who was this girl and is she seriously hating on something as small as a post? cindy turned off her phone, feeling her social battery deteriorate.
but she has to get up and talk to thais, she wouldn't mind that though.