As you go to work the next day, you can't wait to see Steve again. Something has changed in the last couple of weeks. Spending time with him every day. You can't get him out of your head. Maybe life here on Midgard isn't as bad as you thought. You're actually happy. And returning back home might only complicate things between the two brothers you hold so dear to your heart. You've always loved both of them, they were perfect in each their way. But someday you would have to make choice, and it would tear them apart. Perhaps you winded up here for a reason. It was your new chance at love.
You put on your favourite shirt, hoping to catch him looking at you the same way he did last night.
You sat patiently waiting for Steve at the SSR facility, it was a quarter past eight.. at first, you feared something might have happened. You decide to go out and look for him. You turn around the corner and you feel your heart stop, as the hurt sinks in. You stop for a second just looking at him kissing a woman.. You shouldn't be so hurt, it's not like you had ever kissed.. perhaps you had gotten it all wrong. What you felt for him was just so right, perhaps the reason nothing more had ever happened was that you've read it all wrong.
"Captain!" You yell. As he quickly pulls away from the woman. You look at him with a cold gaze. "Mr stark and I are ready for you if you're not otherwise occupied" you hiss as you walk away. You can't help but feel betrayed by him.. You shake the feeling of you, fastening the pace, it's not like you ever made any promises to each other. It was all in your head.
Steve rushes after you, wiping off the lipstick stain on his lips. "Agent Jones please wait" Steve calls after you.
"It seems as though finding a partner wasn't that hard after all Captain," you say as coldly as you can. You can let your guard down. Not while you're at work. You've worked so hard to be respected here as a woman, you're not about to let a stupid man ruin that for you.
"Y/n, it's not what it looked like I assure you" Steve tries to explain as he fixes his shirt.
You stop taking a deep breath as You step in front of him, fixing his tie and wiping away the remaining lipstick. "I didn't think anything Captain, not a single thing" you say as you continue walking. "You wanted to be a soldier now you are... just like all the others. So don't let me stop you" you say firmly.
"Well what about you and stark?" He says loudly.
You turn around to face him, looking at him with nothing but pure disappointment. How dare he bring that up, right after you just caught him kissing someone..
"How do I know you Two haven't been fondue-ing?" He asks more quietly this time, noticing people are watching you.
"You still don't know anything about women" You shake your head and walk away, muttering to yourself. Hoping he hears it.
Steve and Howard are looking at different weapons for the battle. You remain silent just studying them as they get excited. Steve quickly turns his eyes to a shield.
"Are the two of you done playing with toys?" You tease, as you walk towards them. "I'm sure the captain has some unfinished business to attend to" you scoff.
It's not your intention to be this angry at him, but you're wearing your heart on your sleeve, and it was just exposed to everyone.
Steve turns to you hiding up the shield. "What do you think" he smiles broadly.
You look at him with pure frustration as you grab the nearest gun, firing seven bullets against him. Howard hides behind the desk, and Steve looks mortified up from the shield.
"I think it works" you smile sarcastically before eyeing him up and down and walking away. You can't believe you just shot at him, but funnily enough, it felt relieving.
Howard and Steve look at you in disbelief.
"That woman is something special," Howard says with a stunned look on his face.
"Indeed she is" Steve mumbles.
For the next several months you barely see Steve. His out in the field infiltrating one hydra base after the other. You stay back at the office, keeping an eye on everything and making sure it goes smoothly.
You miss him, more than you'd like to admit. You want more than anything to just forget about him, but he's occupying you're every sleeping and waken minute.
One day you spot him sitting in the bar late after closing hours. He's been crying. You received news earlier today that Barnes fell to his death on the latest mission. You hadn't known the man for long, but he was an honourable man and Steve loved him dearly.
You open the door, and you walk in standing behind him In silence. He turns his head around noticing you. He's been drinking, already one bottle of the strongest liquor in the bar. Pouring himself yet another drink. Wiping away his tears.
"Perhaps you should-" you say but he quickly interrupts you.
"Dr Erskine said the serum wouldn't just affect my muscles, it would affect my cells which means I can't get drunk, my body heals itself before the effect of the rum kicks in" he explains, his voice shaking softly.
You don't know what to say.
"Did you know that?" He asks.
You take off your coat sitting down beside him. "Your metabolism burns four times faster than the average person" you explain further.
"Of course, you knew that" he smiles softly before taking another sip.
"He thought it could be one of the side effects" You and Steve look at each other for a short while, his eyes are swollen and red from crying. "Steve you can't blame yourself.. it wasn't your fault" you say.
"Did you read the reports?" He asks, keeping his eyes locked on the bottle of rum.
"I did" you answer.
"Then you know that's not true" he sobs quietly.
"You did everything you could, I know that" you assure him.
"How do you know?" He asks sadly looking back up at you
"Because that's the kind of man you are" you reach out your hand, hoping he'd allow you to hold his. But he sits quietly watching you.. "Steve did you believe in your friend?.."
He doesn't answer you.
"Did you respect Bucky?" You ask.
Steve simply nods his head, yes, his eyes are beginning to tear up again.
"Then don't blame yourself, Bucky was an honourable man, who cared deeply about you. He was always kind to me, even though he had no obligation to be." You say as you search in his eyes, for hope. "Bucky wouldn't want you to blame yourself. Allow him to be remembered as the hero he was" you smile.
Steve grabs your hand as he nods his head slowly.
"He wouldn't have done it if he didn't think you were worth fighting for" you continue.
"I'm leaving in two days," Steve says. "I'm going after Schmidt.. I'm not stopping until all of hydra is either dead or rotting away In captivity" Steve adds coldly. There's so much pain In his voice you can't bare to hear it.
"Just don't let revenge be your motive, Steve. Do it to honour the people we've lost.. killing those men won't bring him back" you add.
"Why are you here?" He asks all of the sudden.
"Whatever do you mean?" You simply ask..
"Shouldn't you be fondue-ing with Stark?" He scoffs.
"When will you open those beautiful blue eyes and realize perhaps Starks is not the one I'm interested in?" You ask sadly.
Why can't he just see it? You're sitting here right in front of him like you've been doing for the past years. And he still sees right through you, like you don't even exist to him.
"I don't understand" he sighs.
"I gathered that.."
"I'm sorry y/n.. I know I haven't been a good friend." He says softly, looking deep into your eyes. "I'd like to be your friend if you'd have me?"
"Of course, I will.. I'll be whatever you need me to" you smile "now let me take you home. You need to be well rested Captain" you smile as you stand up reaching out for his hand.
"Please.. isn't Captain a bit too formal by now?" He smirks, as you realize a little smile on his lips.
"Very well Steve, now go... I'll pay" you tease.
You stay at the bar for a while, being alone in your own company, when you feel a hand on your shoulder.
"What's a pretty woman like you doing alone at a bar at night?" Howard's familiar voice teases.
"I'm not in the mood right not Howard" you scoff.
"How long have we been friends?" He asks.
You scoff, taking another shot, you know he's going somewhere with this.
"Almost five years" you answer.
"So when will you get into that little clever head of yours I'm here for you" he smiles grabbing your hand.
"Maybe another year?" You chuckle.
"Why don't you just kiss him?"
You're taken aback by his question.
"What?"
"Kiss him, aren't you the one always complaining about Earth's messed up gender roles?" He says. "Take matters into your own hands, just kiss him for god's sake" he scoffs. "Watching the two of you miserably flirting with each other is gonna kill me slowly"
You can't help but smile, you'll never be able to pay back for all the things Howard has done for you. Always pushing you to be the best version of yourself.
"I don't think he'd like that" you sigh.
"I liked it" Howard smirks. "A lot"
You push him, shaking your head. But you can't help but at smile..
"You're not him," you say quietly.
"I know, isn't that what you like about him?" He chuckles.
"You're an oath Howard.. but god I love you" you chuckle.
"I know... now let me take you home, get some rest" Howard smiles. "I'll pay" Howard walks you home, and makes sure you get up to your shared apartment safely.
Weeks go by so fast. As the finale hydra base has been located the finale battle closes in. I'n just two hours you'll be right outside ready to infiltrate it. But this time you're coming to.. it's not like they could kill you. But neither Howard or Steve allows you to go anywhere near it. So you've accepted to stay outside as backup in the car. Waiting to be the getaway car if anyone needs it. After being in the facility for three hours your patience is running thin. You grab a gun and sneak your way into the facility through the back.
There's a large tunnel, you tread slowly making sure no one hears you. Then you hear the familiar voice of Steve calling for backup. You get behind and shoot the man from the back. As soon as he falls to the ground Steve sees you. His face lights up.
"You're late" he chuckles.
"Well someone told me not to come remember?" You tease.
"What changed your mind?" He asks.
"Guess I just had a change of heart" you smile. You and Steve look at each other for a second. "You should probably.."
"Right," he says as he runs off. You follow right behind him.
Schmidt is about to take off in an aircraft. When Phillips drives past the two of you in a car. You smile at each other as you jump in. Racing right behind the aircraft. Steve gets ready to jump.
"Wait" you yell. As you hold onto his arm. Thinking back to what Howard said.. He quickly turns around before you pull him into a kiss. A kiss you want to last forever. "Go get him" you smile as he looks at you with a smile glued to his face. He stands frozen for a second like it's just the two of you existing together.
"Well go Rogers I'm not kissing you" Phillips grins.
You can still feel his lips lingering on yours as he jumps out of the car and onto the aircraft. Then you watch him go. You sit near the edge just looking out over the horizon. You just can't wait to see him again.. and hopefully next time he'll be the one kissing you.