Teegan
Avila beach doesn't have an airport, so I have to fly into a bigger city an hour away and hope my mom doesn't forget to meet me there. She's missed a lot of birthdays over the years, calling me only when it was convenient for her. Once she was pregnant with her son, about seven years ago, it was like I didn't exist anymore. Her new life with her new husband was just better, I guess. I'm still trying not to resent her.
I get off the plane after a reasonably smooth flight and head over to the baggage claim. I know the airport well. It takes awhile for my bags to appear but I finally get them in my hands and then drag them over to the exit, to wait outside. She hasn't texted, so I assume she'll be here. My mother is the queen of running on her own time, though.
Half an hour later a text comes in.
Almost there! Sorry, there was traffic! Hope the flight was smooth!
So. Many. Exclamation marks. I don't reply.
When her big, gray minivan pulls up, I take in a deep breath. This is it. She gets out and pops the back open so I can toss my bags in, her dark hair so similar to mine down, around her shoulders. We do this every year but this year is very different and we both know it. She's looking at me like I grew an extra head on the airplane.
"Oh, Teegan. You are so grown up!"
I let her hug me but it's quick and as she backs away, she looks unsure. I give her a my best fake smile.
"How was the flight?" she asks before we get into the van.
It felt long. And it was boring. And I couldn't sleep because the seat was so uncomfortable. I listened to music and ignored everyone. But I don't tell her this. There's no point.
"It was good."
"Good. Okay, let's get going!" she says, ending the conversation just like that.
When I open the sliding door and step into the van, four little eyeballs are staring back at me.
Josie and Oscar know me, but I'm not as close with them as my half siblings that I live with. These two are four (Josie) and six (Oscar). Still so little, and yet they look so different from last year. My mom's husband, Francis, is in the passenger seat. He turns and says hello right away. I wonder what he thinks about me staying in their beach house all summer?
"Hey," I say to them all as I slip into the third row seat.
The kids are both in car seats in the row in front of me, and Oscar turns around as I click in my seat belt.
"Hi Teeeeegan."
I give the little boy a wave and he spins back around the right way again. My mom gets back into her seat and starts driving, as if she picks up her adult daughter for the summer as often as she brushes her teeth.
I don't really feel like an adult, though. My birthday was two months ago. Graduating high school was a big life event, but even that didn't make me feel any older. I feel like a kid stuck in this almost-adult body.
"How was the flight?" Francis calls back to me as my mom merges onto the highway to drive back to their tiny beach town they resides in.
The kids in the row between us are watching something on an iPad. One of them squeals in excitement. The volume on the show is loud so I have to yell to talk to Francis in that front.
"It was fine," I call back to him.
"Good, good," he answers but then a minute later, he grunts and then tells my mom something about the email he just received. He's a doctor - plastic surgery - and usually isn't even around much, so I'm surprised he's here, picking me up from the airport.
"Oh, Teegan, we are having a big dinner tonight. Francis is going away tomorrow for a week, for conferences, so we've invited some friends and family over for a big cook out," my mom calls back to me a few minutes later.
Awesome. A big cook out my first day in Avila.
"That's great," I say anyway.
"My parents are coming from Santa Maria and my sister and her husband are coming, and of course, Lola. We told her to invite some friends, too, so you can meet some of the kids you'll likely see around this summer," Francis goes on, like he's doing me a favour.
"Okay," I say, but it all feels overwhelming.
Lola is Francis' seventeen year old daughter. She'll be eighteen in the fall and she lives about half an hour away from Avila Beach with her mom, but she spends a ton of time in the summer at my mom and Francis' house. I've known Lola for nine years but we've never gotten along. She thinks I'm an intruder, generally. I can only imagine what she thinks about me coming to her town for two months.
The drive takes under an hour and it's only 1PM when we get to the big beach house. The neighborhood is all mansions on the water and it's pretty crazy to me, still. My mom met Francis when she was in California on vacation, a couple months after her divorce from my dad. She and Francis dated for four months before they got married and she moved in with him. That's when my dad got full custody of me. Francis has owned this mansion on the beach for fifteen years and my mom moved in, just like that. Now, their perfect little family lives here. And I feel like an outsider when I'm around them.
I have my own room here, even though over all these years I've only been here one week each year. It seems unreal. But they definitely have rooms to space. That is not an issue.
"Go on up, Teegan. Your room's all ready," my mom tells me, patting my back as we enter the massive kitchen.
The house smells like vanilla candles and the ocean. It's perfect and clean and even though I know there's a messy play room in the basement, no one would know that by looking around the main floor. It's like it was taken directly out of a magazine.
In my bedroom upstairs, I find out that my mom changed the sheets and blankets and even painted the room over the last year. Or, more likely, she paid someone to do it. Either way, it doesn't feel like a kid's room anymore. Thankfully.
I sit on the bed and exhale. This is it. The first day of my whole summer, in this beach town that I've despised for so long. Mostly, I felt like this place took my mom away from me. I know that's not true, but it has always felt that way. Visiting each July was just a reminder that my mom loves this place, her new family and her life, and I'm just a visitor. Feeling like that now, at eighteen, is weird. I have my own life in Seattle, and I'll have a brand new life in New York in a couple months. I don't need to be wanted by my mom anymore. But it doesn't really hurt any less.
I pull out my phone for the first time in an hour and see that my dad texted to ask if I got to the beach safe. I reply quickly - yes, all good - and then unzip my bag that I carried up here. Looking around the room, I know I should put my clothes into the closet or draws of the dresser. I'm staying for two months. But it doesn't feel right.
For now I'll keep my stuff where it is. In my duffle bag, on the floor.
I hear little feet outside the closed door a few minutes later and then some knocking. When I go over and open the door, I see my little half-sister, Josie, who's four. She was pretty much a baby last summer so just seeing her here at my door is strange.
"Hey," I say to her, confused.
"Hi." Her little face is so squishy.
"What's up?" I ask.
"You want to paint my nails?" she asks.
This surprises me. "Are you allowed to do that?"
"Not by myself. But with you I can," she tells me.
"Do you have nail polish?" I ask her.
"I thinked you would have some." Her big eyes are just waiting for my answer.
I didn't bring nail polish on this trip. "Oh. I don't. But I can get some. Maybe I can paint your nails another day?" I suggest.
She looks sad for a minute, but then smiles. "Tomorrow?"
"Maybe," I tell her.
The little girl shrugs and turns to walk away. Okay then.
I've spent a lot of time over the past couple of years babysitting her and Oscar, but I didn't really spend any quality time with them. I mean, changing diapers and feeding them dinner isn't really fun stuff. Already this feels like it's going to be different, with me and them. I hope so anyway.
Two hours later, I'm showered and redressed, wearing jean shorts and a blue tank top. It's freaking hot here, for the end of June. Compared to Seattle, I guess.
As I make my way downstairs, I realize the cook out has apparently already began. Cool. No one thought to tell me? I can hear voices in the kitchen and as I glance out the big window leading to the back yard, I see a handful of people.
"Oh my gosh!" a voice yells. I don't recognize the older woman coming towards me. "This is your Teegan?"
I'm confused. Who is this woman talking to? A moment later my mom steps out from behind her, smiling. "This is my oldest daughter, yes. Teegan, this is our neighbor, Sheryl."
"Hi," I smile but I'm wondering why her neighbor is at our cook out. Is she a new neighbor? I don't think I've seen her before. No explanation is given.
"Let's get outside. Lola and her friends are on their way," my mom says to me.
She's pretty much acting like this is all normal for us, even though none of it is. I feel so odd and like a stranger in this world, her world, but I follow them out through the kitchen to the back yard anyway.
When Lola and two of her friends stroll into the back yard half an hour later, my stomach tightens. Lola and I haven't really ever gotten along and I usually only see her for a day or two each summer. We share half siblings but that's about it. She barely tolerates me. And now that I'm on her turf for for eight weeks, I'm worried.
But today she walks right over to me. She smiles. And then she starts talking.
"Hey, Teegan." Her reddish brown hair is tucked back into a pony tail by her neck. She's already tanned and her bright blue eyes pop.
"Hi," I say, then swallow hard.
"This is Sage, and Harlow. Do you want to hang with us?"
I get that we are eighteen, well, Lola will be soon, but she has never in all these years asked if I wanted to hang out with her. She's often gone out of her way to make sure I'm not invited to things, actually. She's whispered things to me like how she thinks I should go back to my own city and how I'm not really a California girl. I never said I was. Lola was a really mean girl, and I dreaded being here because of that, among other things.
"Cause Francis told you to spend time with me?" I ask her, managing not to roll my eyes.
Lola looks surprised but forces another smile. "Honestly, Teegan, don't be so angry. You're here, all summer. I'm in Avila a lot in the summer. It's a small place. We might as well be friends."
"Okay. Sure." I don't believe her. She's putting on an act for everyone at the cook out, I'm sure of it.
But I agree to "hang out" with her and her friends, which just means standing around my mom's backyard near them as they text who knows who and laugh about things I know nothing about. I don't belong in this town and it's so obvious.
There's about thirty people in the yard now and I am introduced to a lot of them. Friends, family, neighbors. Everyone seems to know me and I'm just overwhelmed. When the little kids ask me to play soccer with them I agree, just to get away from Lola and her friends for a bit. Once we're done eating and people start leaving, Lola calls me over again.
"Hey. We're taking off. But there's a beach party on Friday. All the local kids. You should come," she tells me. I still don't even know if I should trust her.
"Oh. Well. Maybe. I usually have to watch the kids but -"
"Not this year," Lola tells me, then narrows her eyes. "They didn't tell you? My dad's going to be out of town a bunch and your mom's business is thriving in the summer, so the kids are in daycare."
Nope. No one has told me anything yet. I haven't even had a real conversation with my mom. She thought picking me up from the airport and throwing a big back yard party on the same day was a good idea.
"Oh. Well I'll talk to my mom-"
"Teegan, you're an adult." Lola laughs and I don't know if she's making fun of me or not. "Come. It will be fun."
"Okay." Talk about peer pressure.
"I'll pick you up at eight, on Friday," Lola finishes and then looks at her friends again. They aren't paying much attention to me.
"Oh. Okay. Cool," I manage. The entire conversation took me by surprise.
Lola laughs again and her friends follow along. I smile just before they turn and start walking around to the side of the house, to leave.
I have no idea what just happened or what I agreed to, but I guess I'll find out.