The worst thing about loss, is the fact that you tend to think that things would have gone different, if only you didn't act as you did.
And that if that person came back, you would give a last chance to forgive him, ignoring his previous actions.
Because we're humans, not robots, and we want to help eachother.
~~~~~~~
Everyone soon learned that Richy had passed. The reactions were the worst, as I had expected. Especially Jessy's... And that's totally justifiable.
We were all devastated.
<<a few weeks later>>
It had been a rough journey. Noone had contacted me ever since the incident and neither did I. There were no words to describe how sad we were, and even if we tried to soothe eachother's pain, we'd fail.
Suddenly, my phone rang. It was Jessy.
"Hello Y/N." she said in a sad tone
"Hi Jessy.. It's- it's been a long time since we last talked." I answered calmly
"That's why I called.."
"How are you feeling?" I asked hesitantly not wanting to ruin her day
"I've been better but, you know..
How about you?"
"I am trying."
"Well I called you because I wanted to tell you that, um, Richy's funeral will be in a few days and we just thought it would be great if you came."
whoah, I didn't expect that.
"What do you think?" she asked attempting to hold her tears
"That would be great."
"I'll also meet you guys." I quickly added trying to cheer her up
"Yeah that- that would be really nice."
I could feel that fake smile and laugh. It was literally tearing me apart.
"Well then.. you'll send me the address?"
"Of course."
And with that, our conversation ended.
I felt terrible. I always imagined our first acquaintance to be, well, a happy one. Not for someone's funeral. Our friend's funeral...
I have to get over it. We all do. And we need to move on.
~~~~~~~
The other thing is, Jake hadn't contacted me ever since Richy's death, and I was worried. I assumed he decided to stay low, so he doesn't get caught by the cops.
This was infuriating. He had done everything in his power to find Hannah, to help us all, and this is the reward he gets. Stay low so you don't get caught. Jake is a caring person, although many don't see it. That's maybe because of the way he decides to do things. The illegal way.. But still, he deserves credit. He deserves his freedom back..
Mister Alan and I need to have a little chat.
Also, Lily was texting me every single day, to find out whether I had news from Jake or not. And it was slowly driving me crazy, because I wasn't sure whether my speculations were right...
"How is this possible?" I said to myself
"Wouldn't he have contacted me if he was alive?
What is he trying to do.. The only thing I can think about is that he is dead."
"No Y/N. No he is not. He must have noticed and escaped the mine in time."
"And what if he got trapped in there? He had already mentioned that the stairs weren't stable."
I quickly shaked those thoughts. It was not good for me...