Noah
"Ya' know, I saw a pretty blonde walk out this morning. I was gonna flirt with her, but then I thought 'nah, I don't want Noah's sloppy seconds'" Ciera jested dryly from where she sat on the couch- legs crisscrossed- with a bowl of cereal in hand. The Regular Show was playing on our tv.
"Oh, she was far from sloppy, you should've gone for it, She was really good at giving head, you would've loved her going down on your 10 inch dick," I spoke with a straight face as I grabbed myself a bowl and poured Cinnamon Toast Crunch in before adding milk.
"Damn, you should've set me up."
"Blondes aren't your type," I commented. I didn't actually know if that was true or not, but I've never seen her with a blonde.
"I'd make the exception if their hot," Ciera said.
I sat down next to her and we ate our breakfast in a comfortable silence and watched the cartoon. But a terrible thought was eating away at me. I reached over and set my bowl down on the coffee table. Looking at Ciera, she had her bowl tipped up as she drank the remainder of her cereal milk.
"What if someone you don't want to talk to might possibly have an eating disorder? But they're not in my life anymore and they have plenty of support around them, so I don't necessarily want to get involved, but what if no one is involved in the situation and I'm the only one whose noticed?"
"Hm," she pounded. "So, Sam might have an eating disorder and you're not sure if Boring Ben or his parents know about it and if they do know about it, are they doing anything about it?"
"Yes."
"Noah," she set her bowl down next to mine and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand before continuing, "This is Sam we're talking about. Maybe you don't still love him- though I think you do-"
"That's-"
Ciera cut me off before I could deny her accusation. "But at one point you did. Deeply, so you're allowed to be concerned about his health. That being said, Sam might not want you in his life, but if I'm being honest, he's clearly in love with you still, or at least has unresolved feelings. Who goes to a school where their ex attends?"
"Well, he's with Boring Ben. He probably just came to UIC to fuck with my head," I muttered.
Ciera rolled her eyes, "Stop with the cynical mood. You broke up with him. Sam didn't know you were wanting to get back together with him when he slept with Carter."
"Even if I wasn't going to get back together-!" I started raising my voice, but Ciera held up her hand to stop me.
"Yes, Sam and Carter fucked up. I agree with you and why you're mad at him, I just wanted to remind you of your decision."
I sighed, "Whatever. So, what should I do?" We had more pressing manners than my failed love life.
"I don't know," she spoke genuinely. "Eating can be a touchy subject for people even when they don't have an eating disorder, so it's gotta be way more triggering for Sam. Ask Dr. Zinko when you see him," she shrugged.
"Yeah I guess." But I didn't see my therapist until Friday and part of me wanted to do something now about it. So on Wednesday morning at eight am, I made Sam breakfast and put it in a container to give to him.
I still cared about Sam, so it wasn't weird to be concerned... yet as soon as I saw him sitting in Math 102 around 8:45, texting on his phone with a damn smile on his face, I felt like a fucking idiot.
Sam and I weren't together, we weren't friends. Hell, he shouldn't even be in my life then. What the fuck was I thinking? He was probably having a stupid grin for Boring Ben, his boyfriend.
Sam hadn't seen me yet, so I decided to bail and go to my seat. Then I stopped. What if Sam really was going through this alone? What if he had no help.
I groaned. Fuck.
I turned around and as I walked towards Sam, he looked up at me. He seemed stunned at first that I was even coming up to him, which I didn't blame him.
I stopped in front of my ex and dropped the container on his desk. "Uh...?" Sam didn't say more than that.
"Why aren't you eating?" I asked a little harsh which wasn't intended, but for some reason I was always riled up when I thought about or got near Sam lately.
He looked shocked at my questioned and I raised my eyebrows as if to say hello, answer the question! But all he said was "I- um." He looked down at the container. "What's this?"
"Breakfast. Pesto eggs, bacon, and blueberries. Not eating is dumb, Sam. You know that. And if I have to make you breakfast everyday- or every class- I will."
Sam's eyes widened, "you made this for me?"
What I was going to say was yes because for some reason I still care about you. But, I was feeling weird and anything but calm at that moment, at least on the inside, so what I said instead was "Fuck off and eat," and I walked away.
In my seat, my knee bouncing up and down, I watched Sam. I wondered if he was going to throw away the entire container of food as he stared at it. But then he slowly opened the plastic lid and pulled out the plastic fork I put in there.
Oh God, I felt like a pussy. This was shit his boyfriend should be doing, not me. Now Sam's gonna think I'm hung up on him. Which I wasn't.
But then Sam took a bite and I exhaled, my knotted gut untangling. He took another bite and I felt myself start to smile until Sam looked back at me and I looked away.
That was when our professor walked in.
**
Wooo! We're back!
I'm so sorry for the lack of post! Thank you for your patience and for reading! <3
-Xoxo, Bert