Coruscate (Verb) -
"To reflect brilliantly or to sparkle."
A Few Days Later...
Sawyer's POV:
"The wheels on the bus go round and round!! Round and round!! Round and round!! The wheels on the bus go round and round!! All through the town!!!"
"Donovan." I grumble, shooting him an irritated look, "Why the fuck are you singing wheels on the bus??"
He's been singing it since we pulled up in front of the mall.
Sighing, he says tiredly, "CocoaMelon."
"Quit." I hiss, glaring at him, "It's annoying as shit."
"I'm guessing your niece is still in town??" Zachary snorts as we walk into the mall side by side. Elias chuckles as Donovan begins whining, "Dude, yes. I hum nursery rhymes in my sleep!!"
"That's actually hilarious." Zachary chides, nudging Elias's shoulder as they continue snickering with one another.
"Imagine walking into his room at night and he's fucking singing 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' in his sleep." Elias chuckles, and Zachary laughs along with him.
I roll my eyes at them as they continue laughing and talking with one another.
As of currently, the guys and I heading to 'Philocalist' to hang out with the girls. Plus, we're helping out the lady who owns the shop to move boxes or some shit.
Anyway, it, of course, was Marianne's idea. She suggested it during Homecoming, and everyone liked it. And, as much as I hate to admit it, I couldn't say no to the suggestion.
If it meant that she'd be there, of course I'm going...
....
I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
DON'T QUOTE ME ON THAT.
Don't you fucking dare.
Anyway.
We agreed to it, and now here we are. School ended a little while ago, and originally, I was just going to spend my afternoon staying home. Doing homework, doing my crosswords, reading a book (maybe), going to the gym, and trying to enjoy being alone.
At least until the 3 asshats I call my friends, and Peanut and Evan would come and fucking harass me for the rest of the night.
"YOu sPEnd tOo mUCH tiME iN YoUr RoOm."
"haNG oUt WiTH uS."
"StOP beINg a HeRMit."
Y'know?? All of the bullshit people say??
But I guess this is better.
"It's not hilarious, you dumbasses. This is horrible." Donovan rebuttals exhaustedly, "As much as I love my sweet, darling niece, I can't stand it anymore!! I can't get away from listening to damn nursery rhymes!!!"
Throwing his hands into the air, he continues whining, "I wake up in the morning, nursery rhymes. I come home from school, nursery rhymes. I go to bed, nursery rhymes. All day, throughout the day. All night, throughout the night. For days on end."
"Sounds like a blast," Zachary says sarcastically, smirking at Donovan.
"LIKE HELL IT IS." Donovan frowns.
"Quit complaining." I bluntly state, and he shoots me a glare, "Or better yet. Get over it."
"Well, excuse me!!! I helped you when Peanut had a My Little Mermaid obsession!!! You came to me all whiny and shit too!!! Talking about how you can't get away from it."
"That was different."
"No, it wasn't!!! It's the same thing!!!!"
"I think we're here, guys." Elias chimes in, gathering our attention.
We all stop in front of a small section of the mall with a 'Philocalist' sign on it. I also see another sign saying that the shop was closed down for maintenance for the time being. So, in other words, it's locked.
Donovan walks up to the door, peeking through the glass, "Huh. Guess they're not here yet."
Shrugging, he shoves his hand into his jeans pocket and pulls out his phone, "Let me text Skips and see where they are."
I nod at that and find myself just staring at the shop for a lingering moment. After a little while of me just staring, memories of the day Marianne and I met replay in my head. I cringe at the thought, my jaw tightening as I reminisce on the memories.
Fuck.
I'm such an ass.
I roll my eyes, hating that that's how she and I met. I have no one to blame other than myself for my actions. I wish I could change it.
Have us meet a different way...
I frown, recalling everything in vivid detail. My brows furrow in frustration as I squeeze my lips into a flat line.
I hate myself.
"Skippy said that they will be here soon, and we should just hang out until they get here." Donovan suddenly states, pulling me from my thoughts.
I shift my attention back to him as he sighs, shoving his phone back into his pocket, "Late as always..."
"Guess we'll just have to entertain ourselves until then," Zachary replies, running a hand through his hair.
"Yes. I suppose so." Elias says, thoughtfully, "What you guys wanna talk about??"
We all stand in silence for a few minutes, before Donovan suddenly grins mischievously.
I know that look...
He's planning on doing some dumb shit...
Instantly, he turns to face me, a smug look on his face. I shift my attention toward him, feeling his eyes boring into the side of my head.
Alright. Suddenly I'm very fucking irritated.
He and I remain staring at one another in silence, and he wiggles his brows at me. Looking him up and down, I grimace, "The hell are you staring at??"
"Say Sawyer, you think you and Marianne are going to cuddle today like you did at Homecoming the other night??" Donovan suddenly asks, and the guys pause, eyes wide as they look toward me.
I fucking called it...
Elias and Zachary both laugh loudly at the comment, looking between Donovan and I. Elias raises a brow, smirking, "Oh yeah, y'all were cuddling each other during Homecoming!! I almost forgot!!!"
I scoff, glaring at them, "We were not fucking cuddling during Homecoming, you dumbasses. It was just a hug. Now drop it."
I wish it lasted longer...
DAMNIT.
"Just a 'hug' my ass. Since when do you hug people?? Or, better yet, like being touched??? You were all wrapped around her like a blanket, dude. Everyone saw." Donovan chuckles, flashing me a toothy grin, "You were practically smothering her."
My cheeks flush as I remember Marianne and I dancing, holding each other in a warm embrace.
I avoid their intense gazes, scowling as I scratch my chin, "Fuck no and fuck you. You're exaggerating that shit."
She smelled good~
Like, really fucking good~
Immediately, I scowl at the thought, my face feeling like it's on fire now. I heave an exasperated sigh, resisting the urge to face-palm.
I do this shit to myself...
After that whole scene where Marianne and I hugged, the guys wouldn't leave me alone about it. They teased the living shit of me all night after that. Including over the weekend, and earlier this week.
I thought they let it go seeing as they hadn't mentioned it today.
But I was wrong.
"MARIANNE AND SAWYER SITTING IN A TREE!!! K-I S-S-I-N-G!!!!" Donovan sings, poking my shoulder repeatedly, "FIRST COMES LOVE!! SECOND COMES MARRIAGE!!! THEN COMES MARI WITH A BABY CARRIA-"
Reaching over, I hit Donovan upside the head, and he flinches, stumbling backward.
Covering his head, he whines, "AGH!!! HEY!!!!"
"Shut the fuck up." I hiss, my face probably red as hell. The guys chuckle at that as I grumble, "God. You're such a dumbass."
"OW!! THAT HURT, YOU DICK!!!!"
"You know, I find that funny, Donny??" Elias laughs, nudging Donovan's shoulder.
Rubbing his head and still pouting, Donovan raises a brow, shifting his attention toward him, "What?? My pain??"
"Well, yes, but also how you're doing all of this talking when we found you and Skipper all hugged up in a corner that night."
Eyes widening, Donovan stutters, cheeks flushing, "What? That's false!!! Why are you spreading false information about me?"
Fact.
At the end of the night, we found them off by themselves. The guys 'oo'd' and 'ah'd' at the sight. Including Daisy and Marianne.
I frankly didn't care. Couldn't find it in myself to. But at the same time, it was odd. Especially considering they can't stand each other.
Zachary cackles at the statement, grabbing Elias's shoulders and shaking him, "HA!!! You're right!!! I forgot about that!!! Donny, you and Skipper were, like, totally about to kiss or some shit when you were all by yourselves."
"Probably do more than that, to be honest."
"What? You thinkin' Poundtown??"
"Oh yeah, 100%."
"Some real freaky shit, huh?? Oh!! But wait, isn't Donny a virgin??"
"OH YEAH!!! HE IS!!!"
"First of all!!! I am not a virgin!!! Haven't been one for a while!!!" Donovan rebuttals, glaring at the 2 of them.
Elias snorts, waving him off, "Yeah right-"
"And second!!! We were not!!! As if I'd ever do that with Skipper Anderson, of all women!!! That's a damn insult!!!" He retorts, shoving Zachary slightly as he and Elias laugh maniacally at him, "Fuck you guys."
Shifting his attention to me, he grumbles, "And thanks for having my back, Sawyer."
"Sensitive much??" I reply flatly, unaffected by the comment. He gives me a disapproving glare, and I roll my eyes at his dramatics.
"We made it!!!"
I perk up a bit at the warm, melodic voice, recognizing it to be Marianne's. My heart jumps a little at the sound, as I turn around.
The guys soon follow my lead, and we find the girls walking up to us. Skipper, Daisy, and Marianne arrive, and my eyes narrow in on Marianne.
As soon my eyes land on her, my cheeks flush when I notice her outfit. My eyes slightly widen as I take in all of the details of what she's wearing.
She's wearing a dress.
I guess she changed after school ended...
My eyes give her a once over, noticing that she's wearing this casual, almost spring-like mini dress. It singes at her waist, showing off her-
Nevermind.
The dress is a soft shade of blue, baby blue to be more precise, and it kind of ruffles out neatly just above her knees. For shoes, she's wearing white Converse and white socks. The dress is also spaghetti strapped, so she's wearing a white long-sleeved shirt underneath, and small, gold, dainty necklaces.
Her hair is up in a ponytail, revealing her gold earrings. Small bangs frame her freckled face, and surprisingly enough, she's wearing glasses today.
I stare, like some damn creep, as she gives everyone a big smile, dimples and all.
Grinning excitedly, she sings, "Sorry about that, you guys!! Guess we lost track of time!!"
Slowly, her warm eyes land on mine, and I find myself freezing.
That weird, warm fluttery sensation consumes my stomach, and my chest tightens. I avoid her gaze, frowning and hating myself for becoming flustered and distracted by her so damn easily.
She's hard to ignore...
I was with her at school all day long, and yet I'm acting shy as hell.
All because she's wearing a dress.
I felt this way during Homecoming too. All flustered and shit simply because I saw her wearing a dress for the first time.
Looking all pretty, and...
Annoying.
Plus, she wanted to dance with me when I had suddenly asked. So that only added to the problem. She looked nice, the prettiest girl in the room, and wanted to dance with an asshole like me.
Though it shocked me, I was still pleased to see Dorian bitch about how he wanted to dance with her first. A part of me actually wanted to smile at his disbelief and shock.
I wanted to so badly rub it in his face and pretty much any other guy who was looking at her in some romantic way at the party -cause there were a lot of them- and shout,
"SHE CHOSE ME, FUCKERS!! SUCK IT!!!"
I don't know why she chose me, but she did.
And I take pride in that.
Not only that, but it also didn't help when she decided to hug me mid-dance. That made me 10 times more flustered, cause what the fuck.
I wasn't expecting her to do that...
"No big, Mari!!!" Donovan smirks, winking at her, "We're not upset or anything!!"
Why the fuck did he wink at her???
Elias and Zachary also wave as Elias says, "Yeah!! It's okay!! We're chillin!!!"
"It's all good, M!!" Zachary grins, tugging at his black, jean jacket. I remain silent, arms crossed as I look between the girls, nodding slightly at them.
"Good!! I'm glad!!!" Marianne says happily, lightly pushing up her glasses, "Thanks for coming by the way!! Francis is going to be so happy that you guys are here to help!!"
"Yeah, seriously!! There's a lot to do!!!" Daisy adds, enthusiastically, slicking a strand of her hair behind her ear, "We spent a lot of time helping her out yesterday."
"Thankfully, all we have to do is move boxes, so everything should be ready...I think." Skipper replies, sounding uncertain before shrugging it off.
"You think?? What, you can't remember what you did yesterday, Skips?" Donovan asks eyes narrowed, "That's weird. That's suspicious-"
"Hey, Donovan? Do me a favor? Stop talking." Skipper retorts, shooting him a scornful look, "Just close your entire face for me."
"Jokes on you!! I don't know how to "close" my face!!!" He retorts, looking Skipper up and down pridefully, "And that was rude. Very, super rude, Skippy."
Donovan responds, shaking his head at her in disappointment, "I thought you were better than that."
Skipper stares at him, unamused, "Don't call me Skippy, you idiot."
"ANYWAY." Donovan says, shifting his attention from her to Marianne now. He grins at her, "So, tell us, Mari!!!"
Nudging my shoulder, Donovan says leaning against me, "When can we meet this sweet lady Francis? I thought she was with you guys."
I narrow my eyes down at him as Marianne says, thoughtfully, "Soon I hope!!! She was running late last we talked to her, so."
"Yeah, so we've just been wandering the mall until she got here." Daisy shrugs, gripping her purse strap.
"I am here."
We all turn around and find who I'm assuming is Francis step out of 'Philocalist'. She's very small, her hair waist-length, long, and straight. She has a few wrinkles on her face, but she does look to be too much older than 50 at the least.
I wonder how Marianne knows her...
"Francis!!!" Marianne, Skipper, and Daisy sing in unison. Almost immediately they all rush up to Francis and envelop her in a group hug.
They hold each other for a few seconds before separating, Marianne gesturing to us as she chirps, "When did you get here??"
"Not too long ago!!! I've been just getting everything ready to be moved!!" Francis smiles sweetly at her, Daisy, and Skipper.
Shifting her attention to me and the guys, she then asks, "Oh!! I see you've brought your friends I'm assuming??"
"Yeah!!!" Marianne replies, nodding as she pats Francis's shoulder, "I want you to meet our friends!! Sawyer, Elias, Zachary, and Donovan. They're the boys who are going to be helping us move those boxes for you."
"Ah. I see." She smiles earnestly at us, "Nice to meet you all!!"
"Howdy!!" Donovan says, waving enthusiastically at her, "We've heard a lot about, Francis!!!"
"Lovely meeting you finally!" Elias adds, smiling at her, and Zachary does the same, "Thank you for having us!"
"Nice to meet ya!!!" Zachary chirps, grinning.
"Hi." I simply nod in her direction, doing a small wave. "Wonderful!!" Francis sings, looking between us.
Suddenly, her eyes land on me, and I freeze as she simply stares at me for a lingering moment. Slowly, her brows furrow with familiarity, as her eyes search mine.
Wait, she might recognize me from when Marianne and I first met...
I tense up, avoiding her piercing gaze. I clear my throat quietly, scratching the back of my head as I look around the bustling mall.
Hell, she might not remember me.
She's old, so I doubt she'd-
"You're the Sawyer the girls have been telling me about, right???" Francis blurts, and now all eyes are on me.
Well fuck.
Guess she does remember me...
"The one who came into Philocalist that one day, yes??" She asks, her eyes searching mine, "The one who said he didn't like piano music, correct??" I pause, looking at everyone awkwardly.
My eyes quickly land on Marianne, as she giggles, patting Francis's shoulder, "Yeah!!! That's him!!! Sawyer!! The one who said he didn't like my music!!"
"Sawyer, you ass." Donovan gasps, elbowing me in the side, "You said that to her??" I shoot him a glare, and he returns it, awaiting my answer.
Glaring at him, I whisper harshly, "Shut it." Forcefully, I shove him away from me, and he grunts and stumbles back, "AGH!!! YOU MOTHER-"
I look back at Francis, saying a gruff tone, "Um. Yeah. That's me. Sawyer."
I don't like all of this attention...
"Oh!! What a turn of events!!" Francis giggles, smirking delightfully at Marianne then back at me, "I've heard a lot about you, young man!!!"
She has??
I wonder what Marianne's said about me...
"Wonderful to meet you finally!!!" She sings, before looking to Skipper, Daisy, and Marianne, "Oh!! And thank you girls for getting us some help!! This should be much easier now!! Not to mention quicker!!!"
"So, what are we doing exactly??" Donovan asks, raising his hand, "I know we're moving boxes, but what is this for??"
"Oh yeah!! I'm donating books to a charity!! And I have people from the organization coming to get them around the back of the building!!" Francis explain sweetly, "I have a lot of extra books in my shop, so I wouldn't mind giving away a few."
We all nod at that she then claps her hands excitedly, "Alright!! Now that everyone's here!!!"
Motioning for us to come into her shop, she says, "Now, come inside, everyone!! The movers will be here soon and there's lots more to do!!!"
We all walk in when suddenly, Francis motions to me and Marianne. She and I freeze, standing side by side as Francis smiles up at us, "Oh!! I almost forgot!!! You two!! I have a special project I need you to do for me!!"
Francis's Office Space...
"I just need you two to create some folders for me and put them in this bag!!!"
Marianne and I stand in Francis's office as she hands me a small duffel bag and motions to her desk covered in papers and documents.
"I need 60 folders total!! Marianne knows my office very well, so be sure to ask where to find things!!!" She explains, and I nod. Marianne does the same, smiling, "Sounds good!!!"
"Excellent!!! Any questions or concerns?" She asks, looking between us.
I simply shrug at that, and Marianne chirps in that bubbly tone of hers, "Nope!! You can count on us to get it done!!!"
I look down at her, as Francis says, "Good!! I'll leave you two to it then!!"
With that, Francis waves at us and walks toward the exit. Marianne explores the room as Francis heads out, but I can't help but notice that she's smiling at us.
Like, a sneaky smile...
My brows furrow at the observation before she closes the door behind her quietly.
Totally not weird at all...
I sigh and allow myself to look around the space Marianne and I are in. It's small but well decorated, and well lit. Pictures hang on the walls, pieces of art, lots of bookshelves, and a window hanging out behind the desk.
It smells like lavender wax melts in here...
I look at the desk and spot a picture of Marianne, Daisy, and Skipper sitting there. Laying the duffel bag down, I reach out and grab the photo.
I examine it closer and spot that the girls are sitting at the cafe, Marianne sporting a whipped cream mustache. The girls are laughing as Marianne makes a goofy expression at the camera.
"Hm." I hum, before I slowly look back over at Marianne and find that she's humming as per usual. She bobs her head with the tune as she pulls open a drawer and grabs some folders.
That warm feeling consumes my chest again when suddenly I realize something.
We're...
Alone.
Like...
Completely alone.
My nerves suddenly go crazy when I make that revelation. I place the picture back on the desk, taking a slow deep breath.
I turn to face her, saying stiffly, "So, uh...how do you know Francis??"
"What??" She hums, shifting her attention towards me as she closes the drawer. "Francis? How do you know her??" I ask again, and she smiles.
"Oh!! Francis!! Yeah, she's a family friend!!! I've known her a long time." She explains, walking up to me as she lays the folders on the desk.
"I see." I mumble as she stands next to me now. She nods a little, shrugging, "Yeah!!! We go wayyyyyy back!!!"
Softly, she nudges me, grinning, "Also!!! I think Francis likes you by the way~"
My brows furrow, confused by the comment, "You think she likes me??"
"Oh, yeah!! She finds you, hm...interesting, ya know?? Like I do!!"
She finds me interesting???
My cheeks flush at Marianne's statement, as she resumes bobbing her head for a little bit.
I tsk, rolling my eyes and frowning, "Yeah, no, I doubt it..."
"She really does like you whether you believe it or not!!!" She replies gently, wiggling her brows, "I really like you too!!"
Suddenly, Marianne's hand brushes against mine. I tense up at the notion, looking down at our hands. I shift my attention back at her, and her gaze meets mine.
She smiles sweetly, laying her hand on top of mine, "You're pretty likable if you hadn't noticed. So...yeah!!! Of course Francis likes you."
I continue staring into Marianne's eyes as she gazes up at me. Noting the sincerity and seriousness in her voice. There's a moment of silence following that, and I feel myself getting lost in her gaze.
I look from her to her hand, sitting in my thoughts. Before I even realize it, gently I grab her hand. She pauses, eyes widening some. I give her hand a light squeeze, reveling in the sensation, and warmth of having her hand in mine.
Fuck, I like this~
I like holding her hand~
My eyes search hers as she gazes at me in shock, her cheeks turning like pink. After a few lingering seconds, I find myself avoiding her gaze and only remain looking at our hands.
You frustrate me incredibly, Parker.
You know, as much as I hate to admit, as big a pain she is in my ass, as strange and weird she is, and as much as she just all around annoys me...
I can't imagine what things would be like if it wasn't her I met that day.
If she wasn't playing the piano...
If she wasn't here in this thrift shop across the hall...
My face feeling like it's on fire, I manage to say sheepishly, "I...I really like you too, Marianne."
I just admitted that out loud...
There's silence that follows after that. Comfortable and peaceful, silence. I look back at her and find that she's smiling that smile of hers, her eyes lighting up.
That...genuine, sweet, pretty smile of hers.
Dimples and all...
"You like me too?" She murmurs, sounding in disbelief.
I did say that, didn't I??
"Um...yeah. I do." I say a little more confidently, "I like you too."
She stares at me for a moment. Not saying a word. Eyes the size of saucers and jaw dropped. Softly though, she begins to laugh, "Well...who would've thunk..."
"Thunk is not a word-"
"It is today."
I roll my eyes at her as she smirks excitedly at me, "I wasn't expecting you to say that. You never say anything like that."
Yeah well it seems things have changed...
After Homecoming, things...changed...
Slowly, my eyes flicker from hers to her lips, and they become fixated there for a second, "Yeah, well...I mean it. I like you."
My eyes begin to wander as I take in all of her features, noting every detail.
She's so damn pretty~
Damn you, brain...
"Aw!!! You're so sweet, Sawyer!!!!" She sings, giggling girlishly, "I knew I'd grow on you eventually!!!"
I sigh, frowning at her excitement as she squeals shaking my arm now. I stare at her blankly, my frown starting to dissipate a little, "...just a little bit though..."
More than I want to admit...
"Just a little??"
I narrow my eyes at her, and she does the same, grinning. She leans in closer, raising a brow at me, and I give her a disapproving stare.
"Don't push it." I state flatly, to which she snickers.
Grabbing my arm and holding it close to her, she rolls her eyes, "Okay!! Okay!! I hear ya!!! No need to get all sassy on me!!!"
Suddenly she stands on her tippy toes and ruffles up my hair. I freeze at the sudden sensation, my shoulders growing tense. She then pulls away, still laughing. I blink a few times at that, feeling stunned.
I...I oddly liked that...
"I'm glad you like me too!! Oh!! And I won't tell the guys you said that to me!!" She chirps, giving my hand a light squeeze, "Best Fran."
Now doing a mini salute, she adds, "Scouts honor!!!"
With that, she lets go of my hand, leaving me speechless and lost in my thoughts. I blink a few times, allowing myself to process what she said.
Let alone what she did.
I didn't think I'd like that as much as I do...
She pats my shoulder as she strolls toward the desk, humming some tune again.
After I don't budge for a little while, still lost in thought at that little interaction she and I shared, Marianne calls out to me; her voice tugging me back to the reality, "You okay, Sawyer??"
I jump, turning to face her, noting the genuine concern on her face, "What? Oh, um, yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. Just...thinking."
Thinking about what the fuck happened...
"Oh!! Okay!!! Just making sure!! You seem...off."
"I'm fine. Promise."
Slowly, I walk around the desk and take a sit next to her. She grins up at me, "So, friend!!! I gotta question to ask you!!"
"What?" I reply, as she grabs a stack of documents. Stacking them neatly, she then adds, "So, you remember when I said I was going to build a treehouse???"
Immediately, my eyes narrow, "Yes?"
Of course I remember...
"I got parts to build it!!"
She claps excitedly, and I stare at her feeling a bit surprised.
She was serious about building this damn treehouse???
I thought it just some random thought...
"Well, technically I found a place to get said parts," She adds, in a matter of fact tone, "But, I haven't technically bought them, like, you know what I mean, right?"
Nodding, I reply, "Sure."
"Okay good!!!" She sighs with relief, pushing up her glasses, "I'm glad!!! I know sometimes I don't say things right, so yeah!! I hoped it didn't come out sounding like gibberish, or nonsense, or other words meaning that!!"
Suddenly, her eyes light up, she begins saying excitedly, "Oh!!! Also-"
She begins going on tangent about how she needs to find a good spot in her backyard to create her treehouse, and how it's going to be "super-duper" cool because she's building it. Then she mentioned 'Adventure Time' and how it's inspired by that because it's one of her favorite shows of all time. She said it's because it's nostalgic for her.
Then slowly, the conversation goes from that to about...
Any and every thing.
I just listen to her, noting every detail. Like some damn weirdo or creep. But I can't seem to help it, and it annoys me.
I note how her eyes light up when she's talking about something's she's passionate about. Whether that be about those awful dad jokes she's likes, her theater class, how many scratch and sniff stickers she's gotten so far, a random fact she found out, or about her favorite cafe.
It's Caffeinated Love by the way.
I also detail how she scrunches her nose and smiles awkwardly when she mentions something she doesn't like. Like, a place, a food, a memory, or even about the fucking vending machines at school.
She thinks they need more variety...
Like Reeses Cups or Twinkies...
She continues chatting on about EVERYTHING.
She's a small, really random, pretty person...
And yeah, sure, I like her. I like having her around, I admit it.
Just a little bit...